


You Are The Moon That Breaks The Night

by thesoulsailor



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Kissing, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, High School AU, Intense, M/M, Pack Dynamics, Possessive Behavior, Slow Burn, True Love, also a kind of, blood tw, bottom!Ashton, everybody is naked a lot, just normal dudes being part time wolves, there is a tiny dubcon moment but that's not between any of the boys, they are wolves there's some fighting going on hehe, this is NOT a/b/o verse, this is a teen wolf/big wolf on campus/werewolf AU, top!Calum, violence tw, werewolf!calum, werewolf!luke, werewolf!michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:13:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 120,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4906804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoulsailor/pseuds/thesoulsailor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He’s lying in their territory."<br/>“Half,” the calm voice interrupted, “he’s lying half in their territory.”<br/>“You know they won’t give a shit about that.”<br/>A few seconds of silence passed, "I will not let him die here."<br/>“But-”<br/>“Michael”, the calm voice snapped. There was a sense of finality to its tone. Purple hair, apparently called Michael, let out a frustrated noise.<br/>"Guys,” that was Luke, again.<br/>“I know.”<br/>Ashton was about to wonder what the calm voice knew, when all his thoughts were violently pushed to a hard stop as soft lips bumped against the shell of his ear, the sensation nearly overtoning the hushed “I am sorry” that followed.</p><p>or a drunk walk home is destined to change Ashton's life forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. petrichor

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovelies!  
> I've been wanting to write this fic for ages, it's my first supernatural AU so I'm quite excited and I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. For plot convenience this story is taking place in the Northern part of the United States, where actual timber wolves can be found. The fic title is lifted from the song 'Howl' by Florence + The Machine.  
> [official edit](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/post/130234517166/you-are-the-moon-that-breaks-the-night-by) | [fan edit](http://michaelsnapchat.tumblr.com/post/140828938396/inspired-by-you-are-the-moon-that-breaks-the) (I cried about two hours when I saw this so if you don't look at any of the others look at this because it is impeccable and I still can't believe someone took the time my goodness okay I'm tearing up again) | [8tracks playlist](http://8tracks.com/capncatherine/you-are-the-moon)  
> Enjoy! xx, Carly  
> 

_petrichor [pet-ree-kor]_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. the smell of earth after rain_

If someone were to ask Ashton, as he lay dying here, freezing and alone and pathetically drunk with a pulsing gash wound tearing open half of his shoulder, how it all had started, there would have been just one thing he could have answered. And even now, as he heaved in a breath and tried to calculate how much blood there was in a human body and how much he had lost already, he could see it when he closed his eyes. It was easy to relive the dream. He had had it for months, the same visions haunting his mind over and over.

He was drowning, in the dream, salt water filling his lungs as he desperately tried to stay afloat. Ashton fought against the waves clashing over his head while cold, cold water turned his clothes into stones that pulled him into the deep. He swam against the tide but there was no god to turn it, no deity to save him. The only thing with him was light. It was a beacon’s light, a deep thrum resonating in his chest with every turn of the light hitting the water. 

Ashton pushed his endurance to the limit but it didn't work. He knew he had to get to the shore, but the beacon’s light kept turning and he kept drowning. The effort was excruciating. Soon, fog laid itself over his vision, wrapped around his bones. He couldn’t see. In total darkness, his feet touched the sea’s ground and he woke up, bathed in sweat, his mind oscillating back into reality.

*

Ashton stood by his locker. He was busy shoving the last of his books into the crammed space when slender, perfectly manicured fingers wrapped around the metal door and slammed it shut, sending him tumbling back a step. Ashton didn’t have to turn around to see who had just nearly chopped off the fingertips of his left hand. Partially because he recognised the perfectly manicured hands as belonging to his best (and only) friend, partially because there weren’t many other girls at his school sporting waist-length blue hair, like the one wedging itself into his field of sight.

“Ashley!” He groaned, clutching his chest. “You nearly scared the shit out of me.”

“Ohoh,” the girl blinked at him, clacking her tongue, “do your little siblings know you use such words?”

“Well, I’m not swearing around them,” Ashton tried. He pushed his glasses higher up his nose. His best friend just grinned, carding a hand through her hair whilst leaning back against Ashton’s locker. Somewhere down the hall, someone catcalled.

Ashton wanted to sigh. Sure, he preferred the catcalling over the muttered insults or plain disregard he was usually faced with, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t annoyed on Ashley’s behalf.

His best friend seemed unbothered, flipping the offender off with a smack of her bubblegum. Ashley had the thickest skin out of every person Ashton knew, but he supposed that that was what happened when you grew up as a gorgeous girl in a small town filled with numb-skulled jocks and jealousy-ridden plastics.

“So I was thinking,” Ashley said, effectively pulling Ashton out of his thoughts, “the football team is throwing a party tonight…”

Ashton felt the corners of his mouth tilt downwards. He knew where this was going. Something in his gut clenched with dread.

“...and we should go.”

Ashton heaved in a breath. He was cut off by a hand wrapping over his mouth before he could protest.

“Please,” Ashley fluttered her lashes at him, pouting. "It will be cool, I promise. There will be tons of people, not just assholes, I swear. Even the Science club is invited. It will be good, please.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, huffing air out of his nose.

“Right, sorry,” sheepishly, Ashley retracted her hand. "Now what do you say?”

“It’s a school party,” Ashton frowned. "We hate school people. Why do you wanna go?” It was then, that he noticed something his best friend had said.

“Ohhh,” Ashton let a small smirk play on his lips, “this doesn’t have to do anything with a certain Norwegian exchange student, does it?”

Ashley’s eyes grew wide, treacherous blush spreading over her cheeks, “N-no.”

“Mhm,” Ashton giggled, poking her in the shoulder. “‘course not. Though you must be aware of the fact that he’s coming, since you specifically said that the Science Club is invited.”

“Shut up, Irwin,” Ashley mumbled, rightening the lapels of her school blazer.

“Want me to ask Losnegård?”

Ashley paled, “No!”

“Alright, alright,” Ashton cackled. “Mum’s home tonight, so I don’t have to watch the little ones. We can go to the party, but if it sucks I will leave, with or without you.”

“If you hate it, we can go home and watch Star Wars until we both fall asleep,” Ashley promised, grabbing Ashton’s arm and dragging him into the stream of students scuffling past them, all headed for the carpark, eager to leave school as soon as possible.

“Even the prequels first?” Ashton asked as they stepped into the warm autumn sun.

“Even the prequels first.”

*****

The party took place on a clearing in the woods, behind the old munition factory that marked the entrance to town. The football team had gone all out. A metre-high bonfire was set up in the middle of the clearing, logs and camping chairs splattered all over the place. Music was spilling from the trunk of one of the tuning freaks’ cars. At the edge of the clearing, a table full of bottles and kegs was supervised by a couple of seniors. Ashton hated it.

After a good half an hour of gathering as much liquid courage as possible, and refilling Ashton’s cup every time she went to get herself a new one, Ashley had finally wandered off to approach Peder Losnegård. “Lido” for friends was resident treasurer of the Science Club, Norwegian exchange student and obviously overwhelmed by, yet aware of the blessing that was coming down on him right now. Ashton watched him and Ashley flirt awkwardly. It was rare, that he saw his best friend all shy and girly. He thought that he should be takingü a video.

As soon as Ashton had reached the bottom of his cup, he pulled himself to his feet. A bad idea, he realised, as his vision became blurry at the edges. Silently, he cursed himself. He shouldn’t have drank so much. Now, he was in no shape to drive himself home. Ashley was busy, also too drunk herself to take him, and Ashton would rather shoot himself in the foot than ask any of the DDs of the night.

Ignoring the slight churning of his stomach, he made his way past the people and lights. Ashton left the clearing and wandered into the woods. It wasn’t that far to his neighbourhood, only a few  miles. Opening the flashlight app on his phone, he began making his way through the undergrowth. Ashton left the couples that had snuck off to hook up behind him quickly and soon, it was only him and the rhythmic crunching of branches beneath his feet.

The night was beautiful, he could recognise as much in his half-drunken state. Damp air filled his lungs with every breath, moonlight falling through the canopy of leaves above. It was a full moon tonight, the orb glowing in rare orange. Ashton thought of his home, of his younger siblings in their beds and his mum, probably fast asleep on the sofa by now. Lauren would be awake. She could never sleep when it was a full moon’s night. Or when her older brother was gone. A quick glance at his phone told Ashton that it was almost midnight. If he kept up his pace, he could be home around one in the morning.

He was just about to shove his phone back into his pocket when he heard the howling. It started out low, and far away, becoming louder by the second. The blood froze in Ashton’s veins. Whatever creature was uttering the sound was headed in his direction, coming closer. Panic made his muscles contract even before he could tell them to. Ashton ran.

The alcohol was still heavy in his system, making his movements sluggish. He didn’t stop, even when he came to a steep descent. Ashton tumbled down the undergrowth, branches and fallen leaves splashing into the air as he waded through the creek. The ascend was more complicated. His hands slipped on wet stones and moss, but eventually, he had managed. Not allowing his aching muscles to stop (he shouldn’t have skipped as many PE lessons as he did, Ashton thought) he pulled himself to his feet and ran on. It was just when he thought his lungs would collapse that a clearing appeared to his right. In the middle of the small meadow, a set of boulders protruded high into the night sky.

Ashton assessed his chances quickly. There were smaller stones surrounding the bigger rocks, making an ascend possible. If he gathered the last of his energy, he should be able to climb to on top of the biggest boulder, climb to where safety lay. Somewhere behind him he could hear branches crack and then another howl, deeper than the first one, and much closer. Less than a couple hundred metres away.

Deciding in a split second, Ashton broke out of the woods and made a mad dash for the rocks. Not fast enough, he realised when he was hit from behind. Ashton uttered a scream as he was sent crashing to the ground. Something massive landed on his back, hot pain searing through his shoulder as the skin was being torn open in gashes. That pain was nothing in comparison to the one exploding in his head, however. Faintly, Ashton tasted earth on his tongue, felt warmth run down his cheek as he lifted his head off the rock his head had collided with. The smell of damp ground and something atrocious clogged up his lungs.

Ashton wasn’t stupid. If one was to take a look at his latest report card, they would find that actually, Ashton was pretty smart. Sure, his PE and History grades were shit, but it was hard to get a good mark when you never went to class. Ashton excelled in the subjects that interested him, however. He had learnt all about timber wolves in his AP Biology class. The knowledge what kind of wild animal was going to end his pathetic teenage life was not really any consolation, though.

There were three of them, their golden eyes gleaming like amber in the moonlight. And they were huge. The wolf closest to Ashton was also the smallest, about as tall as Ashton’s navel. His fur was a beautiful saturated blond, interspersed with streaks of gold. The second wolf must have been the height of Ashton’s chest. His fur was a shaggier blond, like sand, shimmering more silver in the moonlight. His built was burlier than the first wolf’s, but he still seemed small compared to the third wolf. This one was about as tall as Ashton’s shoulders, his chocolate brown fur contrasting heavily with the strands of the light wolves. His snout was tinged a darker shade. It took a couple of seconds for Ashton to realise that that was blood, _his_ blood, dripping from the dark wolf’s mouth.

The wolves were fighting, Ashton figured after a few seconds of the two light wolves snarling and barking at the third. Ashton could feel a gust of wind when the golden wolf’s tail whipped half an inch past his face. He surged forward and landed a mere metre away from his opponent. The brown animal took a stance, chunks of grass and earth flying into the air as he dug his paws into the ground. The golden wolf growled in a way that made Ashton’s bones thrum. It was enough to cause the brown wolf to leap forward. Before he could reach the first wolf, he was cut off by the second wolf who, teeth first, rammed into dark wolf’s side. In a bundle of fur and snapping jaws they tumbled over. Ashton’s vision became blurry as he watched the golden wolf join them. An ear-splitting howl accompanied him into darkness.

*****

When Ashton came to, there were voices. _Human_ voices, loud and angry, shouting above him. It made Ashton want to drift off again.

“... fucking crazy!” a male voice roared, cracking halfway through. Not an adult, Ashton thought. The speaker couldn't be older than him.

“Stop yelling at me!” a second voice shouted back. It was higher than the one of the first person, but still male. This one was even younger, maybe.

“Oh, trust me I won’t,” the first speaker snarled, “You could have fucking killed us, Luke!”

“Aleko would have killed him!”

“So what? Look at him, he's half-dead anyways."

Ashton wanted to move, open his eyes to show them that he was in fact not dead, but his limbs were heavy, his thoughts wrapped in cotton.

"Don't say that," the second voice, Luke apparently, pleaded. Next, there was a hand on Ashton's chest, right where his heart beat. The touch was soothing, like a cold shower in summer, or his mum's chocolate cookies on Christmas eve.

It gave Ashton the strength to pry his eyes open. He was met with bright blue eyes and a shaky smile. A low pant escaped Ashton's mouth. Luke couldn’t be older than fifteen, a child in Ashton’s seventeen year-old senior eyes. Ashton wanted to warn him about the wolves, but his mouth wouldn’t form the words. He could do nothing but stare as a second face wedged itself into his line of sight.

"Can you talk?" the boy revealed himself to be the first speaker, green eyes gleaming with something close to annoyance.

Reflexively, Ashton cast his eyes down at the harsh tone. Both of the boys were naked, save for pair of matching basketball shorts. Midnight was a weird time to go for a run, Ashton thought, but then he had probably done weirder things in his two weeks of trying to become fit during freshmen year. A low growl made Ashton’s drag his eyes back up. His shoulder was pounding, sharp jolts of pain rippling through his entire right half in steady intervals. Nonetheless he managed to lift his hand, and hit Luke on the knee. Go, he wanted to tell them, go before it gets you too.

Luke did pull himself to his feet, his gaze swaying to the area behind Ashton. The green-eyed boy did the same, running a hand through his purple-pink hair, a curse slipping from his lips. They didn’t move to leave. Ashton knew he had hit his head hard, the persistent pounding in the back of his skull was proving as much. He must have hit his head harder than he originally thought, however, because that was the only explanation for what he saw when he tilted his head back to follow the other boys’ gazes.

On the edge of a clearing, another wolf had appeared. After his encounter with the other three wolves earlier, Ashton had thought that he had been desensitized to the intimidating sight of the beasts. He was wrong. It was still breath-taking, seeing the wolf from this close of a proximity. Inhaling sharply, Ashton watched the wolf’s movements, his smooth, supple steps, the thick, jet black fur shimmering like the night sky. He was unmistakeably headed towards them.

Ashton was almost sad when he realised it wasn’t real. If he had to die, dying at the feet of this majestic creature would have been a good way to go. But it was a hallucination, obviously an alcohol-induced vision. It had to be. Because in the next moment, the wolf had reached them. His paws, bigger than Ashton’s head, teared into the ground as he came to a halt. Then his features were shifting and the wolf’s silhouette changed into something else, something smaller, something _human_. Ashton tasted iron on his tongue. His vision became blurry, overcast with red mist. Gleaming gold was the last thing he saw before he slipped away.

*****

Ashton didn’t know how much time had passed when he woke up the next time. It couldn’t have been more than minutes. He was still lying on the ground, still in the same spot. The stench of iron and forest was heavy in the air. It would have made him retch, if he would have had the energy.

He wasn’t alone.

"I want him.” The voice was new. For a moment, Ashton got lost in the sound of it. It was so calm and quiet. He needed a hospital.

“No way.” That voice was familiar. Ashton would have recognised the harsh tone everywhere. And the purple hair had been memorable. It was nice to know that mean boy and Luke hadn’t been part of his hallucination. Hopefully, they had called an ambulance.

“We need to leave,” mean boy continued, “They are going to be here any minute. We should just leave him here, cut it and run. He’s dead anyways.”

Ashton’s stomach sank. No, they couldn’t leave him. He wasn’t dead. Before he could force his eyes open, there was a hand, wrapping around his cheek. Its fingertips were calloused, pressing against his jaw bone. Ashton let the muscle twitch, earning a light tap in return.

“He’s not dead,” the calm voice said. Ashton wanted to cry in gratitude.

“He’ll be in a few minutes,” Ashton decided that he hated purple hair, “Just as we will be if we stay here any longer.”

“We can save him.” That was Luke. “Please.”

The stretch of silence was excruciating.

It was the calm voice who ended it, "I want him."

“Look at him!” the purple-haired boy roared, his annoyance replaced by something much worse.

“I am looking at him,” the calm voice interjected, “It is my decision and I say yes.”

“He’s lying in their territory."

“Half,” the calm voice interrupted, “he’s lying half in their territory.”

“You know they won’t give a shit about that.”

A few seconds of silence passed, "I will not let him die here."

“But-”

“Michael”, the calm voice snapped. There was a sense of finality to its tone. Purple hair, apparently called Michael, let out a frustrated noise.

"Guys,” that was Luke, again.

“I know.”

Ashton was about to wonder what the calm voice knew, when all his thoughts were violently pushed to a hard stop as soft lips bumped against the shell of his ear, the sensation nearly overtoning the hushed “I am sorry” that followed.

Ashton wanted to ask what the calm voice was sorry for, but he never got to ask. A second later, he was torn apart. A singeing kind of pain exploded in his shoulder and spread throughout his body within two pumps of his heart. Ripping eyes and mouth open, Ashton’s whole body arched. He saw nothing but stars. Then he was gone.


	2. empathy

_empathy [em-puh-thee]_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another_

Ashton woke up to an incessant pounding in the back of his head, and the warm feeling of sunlight on his skin. Groaning, he pried his eyes open, blinking rapidly until his vision unblurred. He was met with a wooden ceiling, seemingly orderless points and lines carved into the dark cherry wood. Ashton’s stomach sunk. His ceiling was plain white grout. This was not his room.

Carefully, he tilted his head to the side. Apart from the bed he was lying on, there was not much in the room. A dresser, a chair at the far end of the wall and a miniscule desk. Even from several metres away, Ashton could see the solid layer of dust on the surface. This room hadn’t been inhibited in ages. Calmed by the observation that he was alone, Ashton sat up. A loud wince escaped his mouth as he pulled himself into an upright position. His shoulder was hurting so much it left him nauseous. Upon looking down, Ashton found solid gauze wrapped around his chest and shoulder. Apart from that he was topless.

With a shaking hand, Ashton pulled the duvet away. He let out a sigh of relief. He was still wearing his boxers. Unfortunately, not much more than that. At least, it was his own underwear. He just prayed that whoever had taken his clothes hadn’t taken a peek. It only took him anothet heartbeat to realise how absurd that was. Not that Ashton didn’t have at least a little bit of reasoning for such thoughts.

Desperately, he tried to roam through the cotton in his head. He had been at the party, there had been a bonfire. He remembered the smoke and alcohol and then the taste of earth. The woods, he had wandered into the woods, he… oh god. This wasn’t his house. He hadn’t come home last night.

Ignoring the swimming of his head, Ashton got out of bed. He screamed when he stepped onto something soft, definitely not floor-like. Hastily, he clasped a hand over his mouth, praying that whoever had brought him here hadn’t heard. Then Ashton crouched down to inspect what he recognised as his own clothes. Someone had folded his jeans and shirt into a neat pile, his vans laid next to it. Even his glasses had been placed on top of the pile. Ashton picked up the glasses first. The lenses were scratched, the left glass broken. With a sigh, Ashton threw them under the bed. They were useless now and new ones would cost him at least two hundred bucks. His mum would kill him.

Ashton’s shirt looked even worse than the glasses. The fabric was dirty, stiff with mud and something that he nauseously identified as dried blood. He put it on nonetheless. It wasn’t like he had any other choice. After a short struggle with the bandage, Ashton had managed. It was easy, almost. On the side of his wounded shoulder, the fabric was torn to shreds. The jeans were better, just as dirty, but intact. Quickly, he put them on and grabbed his shoes in his hands.

Ashton was scared to open the door, just as his fingertips touched the handle. Bits and pieces of last night’s memory were coming back to him in intervals. He remembered falling in the woods, a golden shimmer and … Ashton yielded. Like a dam breaking, the memory flooded his mind. He remembered it all, the wolf brawl, how the joggers, Luke and mean boy, had found him and then … reflexively, Ashton touched his shoulder. Clear as night he could hear the calm voice say “I’m sorry.”

The case was clear. Ashton had stumbled right into the arms of a bunch of crazy scientists and now they had brought him back to their house to do weird experiments with him. Most probably they had already shot him in the woods with some kind of hallucinogen. Which would explain why he had experienced the wolf brawl yet hadn’t been eaten. Blowing his hair out of his face, Ashton carefully turned the knob of the door. He had binge-watched the entirety of The OA with Ashley during the summer. Ashton knew he would have to be quiet if he wanted to flee.

The door lead him onto a hallway. Ashton was thankful for the thick, maroon carpet swallowing his steps as he snuck to where he proposed the stairs. The walls were panelled with the same cherry wood as the ceiling, a stripe of wallpaper separating both. Under different circumstances, the house would have looked to him just like any other affluent home he had ever been to.

Ashton could hear voices as he slowly tiptoed down the stairs, praying with every step that the next one wouldn’t creak. He recognised the voices. It were Luke and mean boy, arguing. Holding his breath, Ashton took a peek around the railing. The ground floor hallway lead into what looked to be an open kitchen. Luke was standing with his back against the counter, arms crossed in front of his chest. Michael, as Ashton remembered mean boy had been called by the calm voice, was towering a good metre away, gesturing wildly.

“Stop being mad about it!”

“Oh, I am going to be mad about it, thank you!” the purple-haired boy seethed. “You know he wouldn’t have done it if you wouldn’t have asked him to! Now we have to deal with this! And even worse now they might come for us!”

“You don’t know that!” Luke yelled back, voice quivering with fear. Ashton felt his guts clench. He wasn’t a particularly empathetic guy. Years of bullying had killed off any sympathy he would have developed for people other than himself. Seeing the two boys arguing, however, was deeply unsettling to him. The urge to storm into the kitchen and force them to reconcile was nearly overwhelming.

Michael growled, so intensely Ashton wanted to take a step back, “I do know that! That’s how it always ends with you and your fucking saviour complex! You can’t save everyone, Luke! That’s old thinking.”

The blond boy’s voice was oddly quiet when he answered, clearly upset, “Take that back.”

At first, Ashton thought Michael was going to attack Luke with the almost feral way he bridged the distance between them. Violently, the purple-haired boy pulled his friend against him. It ended in the tightest hug Ashton had ever witnessed. Luke went pliantly, wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist with nearly as much force, and jammed his nose into the crook of Michael’s neck.

For a moment Ashton was mesmerised, then he realised that this was his chance. Hastily, he spun around and scurried towards the front door. The handle gave a low creak, but Ashton just prayed the other two boys were too busy hugging their shit out to have heard.

The house, as Ashton discovered, was set in the middle of a clearing. Apart from the main house, there was also a barn turned garage and something that looked like a century old green house. Car tracks cleared a way to the beginnings of a street before it disappeared into the woods. From his spot on the porch, Ashton could hear the promising sounds of a bigger, more inhibited street nearby.

With a beating heart, Ashton took off. There were maybe a hundred metres open field separating him from the edge of the woods. If he would make it there, he would be save from being seen by anyone in the house. He reached the trees faster than he had thought.

Not allowing himself to slow down, Ashton kept running. The smell of forest was overwhelming and he could hear the fallen leaves crunch beneath his feet. The sound of the highway became louder with every step. He had to be near. When he couldn’t run anymore, he kept walking, trying to heave in as much air into his lungs as possible without stopping to do some proper breathing exercises.

It was just when he wanted to start running again, that he came to another clearing. _The_ clearing he realised when he spotted the familiar set of boulders in the middle. Ashton’s heart skipped a beat. On top of the tallest boulder, someone was sitting.

The boy was perched on the edge of the rock, his legs dangling in the air. He was naked, save for a pair of basketball shorts, vast expanses of bronze skin moving as the boy repositioned himself. The sight made Ashton shiver, if it was only for the fact that it was autumn. A warm autumn, sure, but still nowhere near any temperature that would justify walking around half-naked. Yet the boy’s face was turned towards the sun, as if they were at the beach and he was just casually sunbathing.

Just when Ashton was about to take a step back, the boy suddenly began to move. A gust of wind ruffled his jet black hair and then the muscles of his arms tensed. The boy pushed himself off the boulder, falling nearly three metres before he landed on the ground. Ashton gasped, involuntarily taking a step forward.

He gasped again as the boy pulled himself into an upright position _just like that_. The next moment Ashton’s stomach sunk. The boy was walking straight toward him, of course he was. Ashton was basically standing in the middle of the damn clearing by now. And Ashton knew those basketball shorts, recognised them as the same ones Luke and Michael had been wearing the night before. Ashton tried to back away, flee, but it was too late. The boy came to a halt in front of him.

There were words in Ashton’s throat, but he didn’t get to say any of them because he had thought wrongly, the boy wasn’t stopping, no, he stepped right into Ashton’s space and clasped his hands around Ashton’s face, tilting his head to the side. Somehow the other boy’s touch was gentle and violent at the same time, painfully invasive. The pressure of his fingertips created a tingling sensation. It was a buzz that jolted all the way to Ashton’s bones, paralysing him on the spot. He couldn’t have run even if he had wanted to.

Expecting a blow to the face, Ashton closed his eyes, but it never came. Instead the other boy lifted one of his hands off his face, let his fingertips trail down Ashton’s neck before he gripped the hem of Ashton’s shirt and pulled, taking the gauze with him. The sound was nauseating to Ashton’s ears.

“It heals,” the boy said in a calm voice. _The_ calm voice, it took Ashton a moment to realise. Phrases like ‘deep like an abyss’ and ‘gleaming like lava’ jumbled together in Ashton’s head  as he opened his eyes to meet the other boy’s gaze, but nothing seemed sufficient. Looking into the other boy’s dark eyes, Ashton figured, was like finding the calm after having walked through a storm. As soon as he couldn’t take it anymore, Ashton let his eyes wander further down, over a strong nose and full lips, down to a jawline sharp enough to cut diamonds with. Ashton heard himself take in a breath. His heart was pounding against his rib cage.

Then the other boy let him go, “Are you in pain?”

Ashton shook his head no. He wasn’t.

“Can I ask for your name?”

Ashton pressed his lips together.

“My name is Calum,” the boy prompted and it was so tempting, to let himself be lulled in by the boy’s calm voice and beautiful features. But even now Ashton could hear it, _“I’m sorry.”_ It was the boy who had turned half his shoulder into raw meat. Ashton let his eyes travel, away from the boy and to the boulders. It was like puzzle pieces falling into place.

“You knew I was coming,” Ashton said, the revelation making his voice all squeaky, “You were waiting for me, there on the boulders, weren’t you? You’re one of them.”

To his surprise, Calum was smiling when Ashton looked back at him. There was no hint of guilt in his eyes when Calum said, “I heard you when you set foot out of your room already. My room’s at the end of the hall.”

“It’s your house?”

“Our house,” Calum confirmed.

Ashton didn’t miss the change of possessive pronoun, “So what, you live there with your… with the other two? Luke and Michael?”

Calum’s silence was answer enough for Ashton. He nodded, feeling hysteria bubble up inside of him. It was fear-induced. With all his calmness and sincerity, the other boy scared him shitless. And that was ridiculous. Ashton was older than this boy, and half an inch taller. (Ashton knew that was virtually nothing, but he couldn’t help but hold on to the fact.) But there was something about Calum. Something beneath the calm demeanor. A sense of something that made Ashton want to cower in front of this boy.

“Can-” Ashton heaved in a breath, “Can I ask something?”

Calum smiled, revealing a line of sharp, white teeth, “You can ask everything you want.”

“What happened last night?”

Calum’s smile faltered and he cast his eyes down. When he looked back up, there was guilt in his eyes. He looked as if he was sorry for Ashton which… that confused Ashton and scared him even more.

“What do you think happened?”

“Well,” Ashton forced out a laugh, “I had this crazy theory that you and your friends shot me with a hallucinogen that caused me to see wolves because you wanted a piece of this meat,” Ashton pointed at his shoulder, “quite literally. Like a shenanigan enforced by the government or something, an experiment? But now that I say it out loud I realise how absurd that sounds, so…”

“You weren’t hallucinating,” Calum said. His nose twitched, "and no government shenanigans."

Somehow it didn’t make Ashton feel any better. “Okay, so I was stumbling in the woods and these wolves attacked me and you found me and took me home?”

The expression on Calum’s face became even more sympathetic and Ashton felt his stomach turn. He was clearly missing something here, but Calum didn’t look like he was about to spill. In lack of a better idea, Ashton rowed back.

“Just for clearance, you’re not a crazy scientist who wants to eat me or something?”

The corner of Calum’s mouth twitched, the hint of a smile, “No.”

“Okay, that’s good, great even! Thank you for like letting me crash at your place and stuff. I’m going to head home now.” Ashton didn’t knew what made the words blubber out of his mouth. He just knew that he had to get out of here. There was something off about this whole ordeal.

Calum’s eyes flicked to his shoulder, “That’s not a good idea.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that!” Ashton waved him off, “I’ll be as good as new in no time.”

Before the other boy could protest, Ashton began walking backwards. For a terrible, horrible second he thought Calum would follow him. The other boy didn’t, though. As soon as he was out of sight, Ashton turned around and began to run. He didn’t stop until he had reached the highway.

 *

“What the hell happened to you?” Ashley greeted him as he climbed into her mum’s van. Ashton had called her from the first gas station he had found. “I’ll have you know that your mum is crazy worried about you. Also I tried to call you like a billion times.”

“Sorry, I lost my phone in the woods. I uhm I tried to walk home yesterday night. Stumbled over a root and then lost consciousness. Woke up an hour ago, or so.”

“Oh,” Ashley seized him up with a worried expression, “you alright, though?”

“Yeah,” Ashton forced himself to smile. He banned all memories of glowing golden eyes and boys sitting on rocks off his mind. Maybe if he stopped thinking about it, it would become less real. Just a drunken story he would tell one day, “I’m fine.”


	3. synergy

_synergy [sin-er-jee]_

_noun, plural synergies._

_1\. the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements, contributions_

__

Ashton felt like shit. That wasn’t anything unusual for his Monday mornings, but this time it was worse than normal. He felt like everybody was staring at him as he walked down the hallway to his locker, even the people that normally just pretended he didn’t exist. It felt like a thousand eyes were piercing through him, all of them talking, hushed words of disgust or wonder.

Ashton’s head was pounding with the sensory overload, he hadn’t slept properly since… in days. Trying not to vomit all over the floor (that would have been on a level of embarrassment he never intended to reach), he squinted his way through the people milling around in the hallway. He couldn’t properly open his eyes, the harsh neonlight of the ceiling lights was blinding him.

“You look like shit,” Ashley greeted him at his locker, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. She had cropped the mermaid blue strands off a good arm’s length. Now it was barely touching her shoulder.

“Nice hairdo,” Ashton gave back. A frustrated groan escaped him when he struggled to get his locker open. The lock just wouldn’t click under his fingers.

“Hey!” Ashley’s light expression faded to one of worry, and she took his hands in hers, but flinched back. “Shit, man, you’re hot.”

“Thanks.”

“Shut up, I mean your temperature is high. I think you have a fever.”

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she rolled her eyes, “the circles under your eyes look like someone beat you up. We have to get you to the nurse. They’ll know what to do.”

“I am fine,” Ashton growled. It came out more harsh than he had intended. Ashley’s jaw snapped shut, the muscle clenching.

“Fine, asshole,” she muttered, the worry staying in her eyes.

Ashton felt himself deflate. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to, I-”

“You’re fine,” Ashley smiled softly, laying his arm around her shoulder. Somehow Ashton couldn’t help but think she wanted him to use her as a crutch. Not that he didn’t need it. But, no. He was fine. There was no reason for him not to be. “But if you throw up on the field I will take a video just so you know.”

“Oh god, what are we playing?”

“Endurance test, Coach Zimmer announced it last week when you skipped.”

“I hate everything,” Ashton whined as he let himself be lead to their school’s stadium.

“No, you don’t.” Ashley dimpled at him, “You don’t hate me.”

*****

Coach Zimmer was a tiny, blonde women in her mid-thirties and most definitely Ashton’s least favourite person on the planet. Once his gym class was assembled at the sidelines of the stadium, she waved them all into a circle.

“Alright, alright gather ‘round boys. Ladies, you’re on the bench for this part.” The girls let out unanimous whoop, Ashley poking her tongue out at Ashton as she gingerly set down on the bench. He flipped her off.

“Don’t get too excited, the boys are just first, you’ll get your turn later,” Coach Zimmer directed at the girls before turning back to the boys.

“We are going to do an endurance test,” she announced, “The test is ten rounds around the tartan tracks, and each of the girls will time one of you. Any questions?”  

“Can we listen to music?” someone asked.

Coach Zimmer smiled sweetly at him, “No mp3 players allowed. Now get running boys!”

With a groan, Ashton threw his phone plus earphones at Ashley who caught them with a grin. She unwrapped the earphones, plucking one into her ear and offering the other one to the girl next to her. The girl seemed positively overwhelmed by the sudden attention Ashley granted her, her fingers shaking as she took the earphone. Ashton couldn’t blame her. He had been there, once. His classmates started moving, so Ashton did too.

The first round was bearable. As soon as Ashton had found his pace, it was easier to suppress the constant nausea trying to turn his stomach. Squinting against the sun, he tried to recite lyrics in his head. It didn’t help very long.

Bored out of his mind without any music, Ashton let his eyes wander. It was when he let his eyes trail over the bleachers that he caught a glimpse of screaming purple-pink hair. He missed a step, nearly faceplanting into the tartan track. He caught himself in the last moment, stumbling a bit as Carter Stevens overtook him from behind, effectively ramming his elbow into Ashton's side. Ashton didn't even bother to flip him off.

Panicking, he fixed his gaze back on the bleachers and indeed. They were all there. For a moment, Ashton was wondering why nobody was saying anything, why the teacher wasn't yelling at them to leave like she normally would at foreign spectators. Then Ashton realised that he was the only one unsettled by the boys’ presence. For everyone else but Ashton, Luke, Michael and Calum looked like normal students, just hanging out at the bleachers after school. Hell, they weren’t even the only ones. A few rows beneath them, Ashton spotted a couple of girls from the cheer team, watching the class.  

Quickly, Ashton flicked his eyes back to the three boys. The studs on his leather jacket reflected in the sun as Calum leaned forward, met Ashton's gaze. Even from the distance, Ashton could make out the tiny smile on the other boy's lips.

Clenching his jaw, Ashton averted his gaze, kept his eyes straight forward as he upped his tempo. Ignoring the fear lacing around his intestines, he moved farther into crowd of boys that had overtaken him, overtook them. He didn’t know what made him run, he just knew that the urge was overwhelming.

“Irwin!” Coach Zimmer called out.

Cursing under his breath, Ashton jogged over, “Yes?”

“You’re already on round eleven, you can stop.”

“What?” Ashton spluttered. He couldn’t remember having run that much. Just seconds ago, he had been on round three, he was certain.

His teacher sneered, “Oh trust me, Irwin, if I wouldn’t have seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t believe it either. Who would have known there is actually any ability in that body of yours.”

A sudden urge to growl at his teacher overcame Ashton. This wasn’t the first time she had insulted Ashton, more often than not he had been the subject of her “tough love” teaching method. And Ashton had learned to just ignore it. He had tried to fight it once, at the principal’s office and lost. Since then he just blocked it out whenever his teacher made any remarks.

This time, he couldn’t. Red clouded his vision, her words repeating in his mind over and over again. In the flash of a vision, Ashton saw himself slamming his teacher against the wall, crushing that rot-filled skull with his hands. Stunned and severly mortified, he took a step back.

“In any case, congratulations, you’re the first to complete the test. You can go shower.”

Heaving in a breath, he spun around and made a beeline for the changing rooms. He tried hard to ignore the incredulous looks he received from the bench.

By the time he had made it into the showers, Ashton's skin was searing. He turned the cold water faucet up as far as possible, resting his head against the tiles. The freezing water was soothing, the effect only superficial, though. His insides were still cooking and the flesh wound on his shoulder was pounding. Hissing, Ashton laid a hand on the scab. The wound seemed to pulse beneath his fingers. With shaking fingers, Ashton turned the water off and stepped out of the showers. He was thankful that he was the only one in the changing rooms. Ashton didn’t bother with his school uniform. There was no way he would make it through another school period, even if it was AP Biology.

Instead, he opted for sweatpants and a loose enough shirt to not irritate his shoulder any further. Ashton had just shoved the last of his gym clothes into his bag when his locker door was thrown shut in front of him. The next second, a hand pressed against his chest, slamming him against the metal wall of the lockers.

“Hello, Ashton Irwin,” Michael grinned up at him, mirthlessly, tightening the grip he had on Ashton’s chest.

Ashton paled as all air left his lungs. “H-how do you know my name?”

“Oh, please,” the purple-haired boy rolled his eyes.

“Michael,” Calum reprimanded calm but intently from behind him. Ashton had a hard time seeing the raven-haired boy. His wet hair was hanging into his face and he was too scared to even try pushing it out of his face. He could feel Calum’s eyes on him, however.

“You reek like death,” Michael informed him, effectively gathering back Ashton’s attention. His grin distorted into a repulsed frown, “Show me your shoulder.”

“What?” Ashton’s eyes grew wide, “No!”

Michael merely huffed at Ashton’s effort to struggle free. Holding Ashton pressed against the lockers with his right, Michael ripped Ashton’s shirt apart with his left.

Ashton gaped at the shredded fabric, “Are you fucking crazy?” The question was unnecessary, really.

“Do you think he’s rejecting it?” That was Calum, wedging himself into Ashton’s field of sight. There was worry in his eyes. Ashton’s heart began to race.

“I don’t know because I can’t see -- would you just hold still for a second, goddammit!”

Michael’s snarl was enough to make Ashton abandon all attempts at struggling free. Pressing his mouth into a tight line, he resolved to glaring silent daggers at Michael and Calum while the two of them examined his shoulder like he was some kind of lab rabbit.

“I don’t like this,” Calum said eventually. His eyes flicked up to meet Ashton’s, transfixing Ashton solely with his gaze, just like the first time, “How do you feel?”

“Just dandy,” Ashton snapped back, “Apart from these two crazy dudes who are cornering me in the locker rooms, that is.”

Everything inside him kicked up against being mean to Calum, but he was in pain and this whole situation was just insane.

Michael growled, “Watch your mouth, you-”

“It’s okay, Mike,” Calum interjected, his eyes not leaving Ashton’s face, “you can let him go now.”

“What?”

This time, Calum made the effort of prying his eyes away from Ashton’s and look at his friend, “Trust me.”

For a moment, it looked like Michael was going to protest. Then he cast his eyes down and let go. Ashton would have fallen to the ground like a wet sack of rice, but before he could slide down his locker, there were hands slipping underneath his armpits and then Calum was hugging him. Ashton was too stunned to struggle any further. Their upper bodies glued together, Calum began pressing his face into Ashton’s neck, moving his head up and down. He was _nuzzling_ Ashton’s neck which… _what the fuck?_

Ashton was about to voice his thought when he felt it. The sensation was similar to that of a cold shower in summer, or his mum's chocolate cookies on Christmas eve, like waking up from a perfect amount of sleep or the first gulp of water after a long run. It was the epitome of soothing. Mollified, Ashton wrapped his arms around Calum. He wanted to stay like this forever, completely at ease.

“Calum,” Michael's voice pinched Ashton’s bubble of relaxation. “Calum!” Ashton felt the raven-haired boy lift his head. Instinctively, he clung tighter. “His eyes.”

The statement made Calum step back, eliciting a protesting moan from Ashton.

Calum inhaled, “He’s not rejecting it.”

“No,” Michael confirmed, green eyes wide while he stared at Ashton. “You know what that means right?”

Calum nodded, silently. Ashton could nearly see the cogs turning in his head.

“What do you-” Ashton was cut off by a low whistle. A second later, the showers started up in the next room, accompanied by the familiar noise of teenage boys.

“Fuck,” there was something incredibly off-putting about hearing Calum swear, “Grab his bag, Michael, we’re gonna take him with us.”

“Uhm,” Ashton tried but Calum just fixed him with a hard look, “you will come with us.”

Calum’s voice was hard, authoritative, the usual calm tone but with something unyielding underneath. Ashton was overwhelmed with the sudden need to oblige. He nodded, his legs already moving towards the exit. A second later, he was sandwiched between Michael and Calum, the latter wrapping his hand around Ashton’s upper arm.

Luke was waiting for them in the hallway. Ashton nearly wanted to snort at the blond boy’s shades and how he had pulled the hood of his sweatshirt deeply over his face.

“You look like a juvenile delinquent on the run,” Ashton giggled. Calum’s hand around his upper arm made him giddy.

“How about you shut your face,” Michael snarled from behind him, but was shushed by an exasperated looking Calum. The raven-haired boy seemed nervous. He kept stealing glances at Ashton, as if he was waiting for something. It made Ashton feel queasy. His body was still too hot. He squinted as they left the changing rooms and walked towards the car park. The sunlight was hurting his eyes.

“Ashton?” a familiar voice called out, just when they had reached the car park. Ashley was walking towards them, tying her shower wet hair into a bun, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

Ashton felt his stomach sink. “Don’t hurt her,” he utilised the few precious seconds he had before his best friend would reach them, “I’ll get rid of her, but please don’t hurt her.”

“Calum,” Michael said. It sounded like a warning.

Calum looked at the purple-haired boy, then at Ashton. His eyes went dark, something that terrified Ashton more than anything Michael had ever done, “You have ten seconds.”

“Thank you,” Ashton uttered before making a beeline for Ashley, effectively cutting her off before she could get too close to Calum, Luke and Michael.

“Hey,” he said, forcing a smile onto his face.

Ashley didn’t even look at him, “Who is that?” She nodded at where the three boys were standing, looking like poster models for a grunge magazine, and in Luke’s case a teenager who was about to rob a gas station.

“Uh, friends of mine.”

“Friends of yours?” Ashley looked at him incredulously.

“Yeah,” Ashton nearly winced at the obvious lie, “uh, the one with the purple hair.... is the older brother of one... of Harry’s friends… from school.”

Ashley narrowed her eyes at him. It were times like these where Ashton hated the fact that his best friend was able to see through any and all bullshit. “Ashton, are you alright?”

A loud yipping sound behind them made Ashton flinch. The signal was clear.

“You were right this morning, I feel terrible,” at least that one wasn’t a lie, “I called Mich- uh I called my friends to come pick me up. I’m done for the day, but I’ll call you tonight, I promise.”

“Ash-”

Ashton nearly wanted to cry in relief when he spotted a familiar Norwegian exchange student walk by, “Oh, hey, look there’s Lido! You should definitely go and talk to him! He’s got this wistful look in his pretty brown eyes.”

It worked, at least long enough for Ashton to take enough steps backwards so that he could spin around, while Ashley was busy scanning the yard for Lido.

“About time,” Michael remarked when Ashton reached them.

“Let’s go,” Calum said, wrapping his hand back around Ashton’s upper arm. His grip was tighter than before, almost painful. 


	4. echo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received a question regarding their ages so just a short info that in this story Ashton is seventeen, Calum and Michael are sixteen and Luke is fifteen. Enjoy!

_echo [ek-oh]_

_noun, plural echoes_

_1\. a sound heard again near its source after being reflected._

_2\. any repetition or close imitation, as of the ideas or opinions of another._

Wedged in the backseat between Calum and Luke, Ashton focussed his energy on not trying to vomit all over the leather seats of the Jeep. That Michael in the front was driving like a maniac, a good twenty miles or so above speed limit, didn’t help Ashton’s case either. He wanted to ask what was happening to him (because at this point, he just knew that this was all these boys’ fault, and whatever they had done to him was cooking and jumbling every cell of his body at the same time) but opening his mouth was not an option.

The only thing keeping Ashton from combusting right then and there was Calum’s hand on his neck, thumb moving in soothing circles over his nape. Ashton tried to regulate his breathing after the movement. A part of him was embarrassed of the fact that his skin was all slippery from sweat, but then he couldn’t care less and he wouldn’t have wanted to. It was still the only thing keeping him together.

Calum’s touch stopped working exactly the moment Ashton could see the house on the clearing through the window on Luke’s side. Like a pot boiling, his blood reached its searing point and an incredible jolt of energy made his muscles contracted. The need to get out of the car, to move, overwhelmed Ashton and he bolted, right over Luke’s lap and out of the car door. He didn’t know how he managed to get it open. Faintly, he could hear Calum calling out his name but it was all drowned out by the pulsing of his blood through his veins. Before he knew what he was doing, Ashton had reached the middle of the clearing.

The first bone that broke was his leg, effectively ending his run. With a yelp, Ashton went down. He landed on his side, struggled to get on hands and knees. Pain made his muscles contract and through the yellowish mist that was clouding his vision, he could see Calum, Luke and Michael run towards him. The car was left standing on the road, all doors open.

Ashton waited until they had reached him to speak. He wasn’t sure he would get another chance. “What is happening?” he pleaded, begged them to tell him.

His voice was strained, came out as a yell even though he hadn’t intended it to. Ashton’s chest was getting tighter by the second. It felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest any moment.

“Ashton,” his name came over Calum’s lips like a wail, the ever-present calmness soothing only the volume of his voice, not the intensity with which he spoke. Ashton was glad. Calum piercing through him with both his gaze and voice gave Ashton a fixpoint, something to hold onto, “Ashton look at me. What do you remember of the night we first met?”

And Ashton really wanted to yell at him. Did he look like he was in the mood to discuss this now? But Calum’s tone had this kind of authority to it again, making it impossible for Ashton to not oblige to whatever Calum was asking of him.

“Michael, Luke,” Ashton pressed out. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the two boys undress behind Calum. Then the muscles of Ashton’s arm contracted so strongly that the bone snapped, the crack making Ashton’s stomach flip. He tried hard to breathe through the pain. He had to answer Calum’s question. “Wolves, there were wolves, one of them golden and the other like sand and then a third one and the fourth-”

Ashton’s mouth fell open, the words dying in his throat as he remembered something his mind hadn’t revealed to him so far. But Ashton saw it clear as day in front of him, saw how the fourth black wolf had approached him where he had lain bleeding on the ground. Ashton’s vision had been clouded by pain, yet been sharp enough to watch as the black wolf had shifted, his form changing into something else, something smaller, something human.

Ashton was not surprised to find Calum’s dark eyes gleaming golden when he looked up. A single roar of pain and revulsion made its way out of his throat, then the jolts of energy reached his spine, his cells traded places and every of his bones shifted.

*

The echo was horrible. Even as a weakened repercussion in his chest, the pain of Ashton’s first shift was excruciating, made Calum dry-heave. He could hear Michael and Luke next to him pant, trying to breathe the echo away. Calum didn’t allow himself to do so. This was his doing. The least he could do was bear Ashton’s pain with him.

On the ground, Ashton let out a pitiful scream. Despite all the pain and misery, it was still an impressive sight to watch, how the curly-haired boy’s canines elongated along with his features and Ashton’s eyes began to glow golden like they had in the locker rooms. Patches of fur, a beautiful honey-colour that matched the one of his hair, sprouted along his jaw. Calum looked away when the rest of Ashton’s bones rearranged.

The first shift was always the worst. It was slow, minutes of mind-bending pain and fear before the burst. Even now, where Calum had the shift down to the fraction of a second, he could still remember his first time. He had been thirteen when his gene had kicked in. And no matter how much his family had prepared him, how many books he had read and how often he had lain awake at night and imagined what it would be like, no amount of preparation had been able to help him. And Ashton was unprepared.

“Luke,” Calum said, “run to the house. Tell Mali what happened. Michael and I will bring him to the greenhouse once he has turned back. And hurry!”

Luke let out protesting yip, then he was on his way.

“Thank you,” Michael squeezed his shoulder.

Calum merely lifted the corners of his mouth. His eyes stayed trained on the heap of body in front of them that was now no longer skin and bones but bones and fur.

“Are you ready?” Calum asked.

With shaking limbs, the wolf with honey-coloured fur rose to his paws, head swinging around, tail wagging slightly.

“He can’t do worse than me,” Michael answered grimly.

The honey-coloured wolf took off towards the woods and they followed. _I’m with you_ , Calum told him over and over in his mind. Upon reaching the clearing, Calum jumped, allowing the tingling energy at the bottom of his spine to take over. His paws ripped wet leaves and moss off of the ground as he landed. _I am right here with you._

Calum knew at least an echo would reach Ashton. Calum could feel the other boy’s presence a good hundred metres in front of him, could empathise the purely instinctual pattern of Ashton’s mind. It would take a couple of shifts for Ashton to be able to get his conscious back. Like this, he was out of his mind. A pure wolf, destined to go on a rampage. Letting out a howl, Calum fastened his pace until he was right next to the honey-coloured wolf. A second later, Michael appeared on Ashton’s other side.

Upon the pressing sensation against his skull, Calum allowed Michael in.

 _He’s fast_ , the other boy’s voice sounded in his head.

_I know, we have to keep him away from the streets. I can smell a group of hikers at St. James point. We have to keep him away from them--_

_Not that he ends up killing someone,_ Michael’s voice supplied.

If Calum would have been able to roll his eyes, he would have done it, _\-- so drive him north. It should be over in a few minutes. We will manage._

They would. Ashton was part of his pack now. That was the decision Calum had made.

As expected, Ashton had run himself out after a good few minutes. Soon, his paws digged into the ground and the honey-coloured wolf came to a slithering halt. A shudder went through Ashton’s whole body, fur jostling. Calum watched his muscles twitch and then shrink. A pitiful yipping sound replaced the snarl Ashton had uttered before as his body began to change back to its human form. Michael reached him even before Calum did. Growling softly, the silver wolf began to rub his head against Ashton’s side. Calum bridged the distance between them and mirrored Michael’s actions on Ashton’s other side.

 _It will be over soon_ , Calum tried to send. He received nothing but a mess of irritation and pain in return. Calum was almost glad when Ashton passed out halfway through shifting back. Taking a few steps back, Calum shifted back himself. Lifting his head from where he ended up on all fours on the ground, he looked at Michael, still in wolf form, already watching him.

“The great oak at the creek’s turn,” Calum said and the silvery sand-coloured wolf inclined his head before taking off in the direction Calum had pointed him to. By the time Michael returned, human, clad in basketball shorts and with the backpack Calum had hid in the oak in hand, Ashton had changed back completely.

“Here,” Michael handed Calum the remaining two pairs of basketball shorts before slinging the now empty backpack over his shoulder, “you want me to help you?”

Calum shimmied into his own pants before putting the last pair of basketball shorts on Ashton. Once they were both no longer naked, he slipped his hands beneath Ashton’s body and lifted him into the air, carrying him bridal style. Ashton’s head lolled against his chest the twigs tangled in the curly hair making Calum’s skin itch. Carefully, Calum picked them out of Ashton’s curls before pressing the other boy’s face back against his chest.

“No, I’m good,” he answered Michael’s question. When Calum looked up it was to find the purple-haired boy smirking at him.

“What?”

Michael just raised a single eyebrow at him. Calum suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he shook his head and began to make his way through the woods. He knew Michael would follow.

*

Ashton was drowning, his strokes useless against the clashing tides. All of his attempts at trying to stay afloat were in vain. A wave took him under, throwing him around beneath the surface before he managed to break back through the surface. Desperately, he paddled around until his eyes found the beacon’s light. He had to get there. He had to make it to the shore. Somewhere beneath him, thunder struck the sea. Another wave took pulled him down.  

*

“Do you think he will wake up soon?”

Ashton had learned. He kept his eyes shut when he came to, his breathing deep enough to mimick sleep.

“I can’t tell,” that was a female voice Ashton hadn’t heard before. Suppressing the urge to furrow his brows in confusion, he assessed his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the overwhelming smell of herbs. It smelled like lavender and basil, lemon grass and every flower his mother had ever planted in the small garden behind their house. Beneath all, there was the sharp sting of metal and perfume, something heavy and smooth, most probably originating from the girl in the room. Also iodum and anti-bacterial solution. It took Ashton a moment to realise he shouldn’t be able to smell these things as well as he could, to distinguish them like he was able to.

The surface he was lying on was solid, cool against his naked back. A metal cot, he realised, like vets had them. The thought nearly made him burst into laughter right then and there. Someone had put sweats on him. The fabric was thick and soft, way to soft for his ragged second-hand ones.

“How was it?” the female voice asked. She accompanied her words by stroking Ashton’s hair out of his face, her skin soft and warm against his.

“I don’t know,” Luke’s voice gave back. He was obviously pouting, “they send me away to get you.”

The girl hummed, “He wasn’t hurt as far as I could see it, and Calum said he hasn’t hurt anybody either, so that’s a pretty great score.”

“I wish he would wake up soon,” Luke sighed, “I’m starving.”

Ashton took that as a cue to wake up. Groaning, he let his eyes flutter open and was met with a vitreous canopy. Like the first time he had woken up at the house on the clearing, there were lines and dots littered onto the ceiling, painted in black on the glass. Ashton blinked, then he sat up rapidly, taking in a deep breath.

He was indeed sitting on an examination table, the metal cold beneath his fingers as he swung his legs over the side of the table. The matching vitreous walls of the room were lined with plants of all sizes distributed in pots and pendants. Faintly, Ashton remembered the greenhouse he had seen on the side of the house the first time he had fled the grounds. At least he knew where he was.

Out of the corner of his eyes he recognised movement and turned his head. At the head end of the examination table, Luke was standing, shoulders squared, his chin tilted up a bit and eyes filled with hard determination. He looked like a soldier and Ashton was surprised to find that that was what he was here as. Behind the blond boy’s back, a girl was hiding. It looked almost funny because she was not only several inches taller, but also obviously a few years older than even Ashton. Ashton who was apparently the threat in this situation. The thought nearly made him laugh. Or cry, Ashton wasn’t completely sure.

Despite her stance, there was no fear in the girl’s coffee-coloured eyes as she took a step around Luke and walked towards him. At the latest when she walked into his space just like that, and grabbed Ashton’s face between her natively tanned hands, Ashton recognised a pattern. This girl was definitely related to Calum, and not just because she was beautiful.

“How do you feel?” she asked, her gaze genuinely curious, friendly. Ashton suppressed the weird urge to bump his forehead against her shoulder.

“I feel…” Ashton stuttered. It was around this time he realised that he didn’t feel like shit anymore. His muscles were relaxed and buzzing with the feeling of being well-rested. No nausea had his stomach in a twist and despite the cold autumn weather and the basketball shorts he was wearing, he felt comfortably warm. “I feel good. Better than that, actually. I- I feel fantastic.”

Before he knew it, Ashton was giggling. Luke, appearing at the girl’s side, reciprocated the sound, “Man, I’m glad you’re fine. I knew you’d do great. Michael was worried you’d be one of the crazy ones, but I told him that- ”

“Luke,” the girl interrupted, calm but stern. Yes, definitely related to Calum.

The blond boy snapped his mouth shut, shrugging at Ashton with an apologetic smile.

“I am Mali,” the girl introduced herself. The name fit her, Ashton thought, gentle and beautiful, but unyielding. “Is it okay for you if I do a few check-ups?”

In lack of something better to do, Ashton nodded. He didn’t know if he was happy or sad about the fact that she was the first one to ask before laying her hands on his body.

“Great! I’ll be quick, promise.”

Ashton closed his eyes while Mali prodded and probed, listened to his breathing with a stethoscope and even hit his knee with a hammer. From a few feet away, Ashton could hear Luke hum what sounded like an old Duran Duran song.

“Alright, I’m done so far.”

Ashton pried his eyes back open.

“Pleased to tell you that you’re all good,” Mali patted his shoulder, an honest smile tilting the corners of her mouth upwards as she turned towards Luke, “He’s all yours now.”

With that, Mali disappeared into the depths of the greenhouse, leaving Ashton to look after her.

“Mali’s great, isn’t she?” Luke dimpled from his spot next to the door.

“Yeah,” Ashton said. After all the things he had encountered here, the girl seemed to be the most normal thing, person around.

“Now, c’mon,” Luke waved him over and Ashton jumped off the examination table. Ashton’s answer got stuck in his throat when Luke turned around and pushed the door open. There were four thick, jarred lines that ran down the entirety of Luke’s back, from his shoulder down to the bottom of his spine. The scars shimmered white against Luke’s otherwise light golden skin, causing Ashton’s nausea to make a striking comeback. Those were claw marks. Luke couldn't be older than fifteen.

“You coming?” the blond boy looked back at him with a smile, “Calum is already waiting.”

Suddenly, Ashton wanted to run. He didn’t, however. Instead he forced a smile onto his face, forced his head to move up and down. Then he followed Luke out of the greenhouse.


	5. hiraeth

_hiraeth [hee-ra-eeth]_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. homesickness for a home that never was_

“That was the green house. It’s kind of Mali’s domain, though, so better not go in there when none of us is with you. For now, at least,” Luke cheerily told Ashton as he lead the older boy down the curved gravel way to the main house, “The main house you already know, but I’m sure Calum will give you a more detailed tour.”

Ashton nodded, feeling slightly overwhelmed, “What’s in the barn?”

“Oh, that’s the garage,” Luke dimpled, knocking onto the wood of the front porch railing, “also where we keep our chains.”

Ashton refrained from asking questions after that. Silently, he took in everything in that Luke pointed out. Ashton didn't know where his animosity had gone, but there was not an ounce of anger or distrust in him when he looked at Luke. He felt so close to the other boy and the grounds that it would have been weird, had Ashton not felt so instinctually safe. While they crossed the grounds, Luke acted like his personal tour guide, telling stories about every nook and cranny. Ashton didn’t understand half of the things Luke told him, so he resolved to giving small nods whenever Luke turned towards him.

Now that he had time to look, Ashton couldn’t help but find that the house was beautiful. The colonial mansion was huge, easily several times as big as Ashton’s home. Although that wasn’t that hard to achieve. Even with two jobs, as the sole provider of Ashton’s family, his mum couldn’t afford more than a tiny semi-d. Ashton would have helped out, but his mother had been adamant that Ashton stayed in school instead of getting a job. The obvious wealth of the house impressed Ashton, but, like every poor kid, the envious part of him despised Calum and the other three for living here.

“This is the hallway,” Luke explained once they had made it into the house, “if it’s winter you have to use the towel to wipe off your feet or Mali will get mad.” Luke lifted the cloth in question, “but it’s usually on the heater so that’s nice.”

Instinctively, Ashton flicked his eyes the ground, watched his damp feet leave traces on the parquet of the entrance hall. As it was rain water, Ashton’s bare feet should have been cold but they weren’t. He hadn’t felt cold at all, really, despite the fact that they had trudged basically naked through the autumn weather outside. Nervously, he wrapped an arm around his stomach. His skin felt warm, a bit damp maybe. He was torn from his thoughts when Luke handed the towel to him. Quickly, Ashton dried his feet off before placing the towel back on the heater. The content smile Luke gave him made the corners of his mouth tilt upward.

“You didn’t get to see it the last time, but this is my favourite room,” Luke announced excitedly, leading him into the living room.

Ashton could see why the living room was Luke’s favourite. The room was huge, taking up an entire side of the house. One corner was closed off as an open kitchen, a dinner table with eight chairs leading into the actual living room part. Three sturdy chesterfield sofas left enough room for a football team to get comfy, with an antique looking coffee table in the middle. At the far wall, a chimney was taking up most of the wall. The wall holding the doors was covered in bookshelfs, stacked with the kind old books that looked like they were worth more than Ashton’s car.

On the center sofa, Michael was sprawled out. Clad in the obligatory basketball shorts and an AC/DC shirt, his eyes were glued to the giant TV above the chimney. It took Ashton a moment to realise that the purple-haired boy was playing Dark Souls. Ashton almost laughed. It seemed so absurd, having this old and lofty room and then the galaxy-haired punk in the middle of it all, playing a video game.

Luke took a running start and gracefully jumped over the backrest of the sofa, landing half on top of Michael. The other boy merely grunted, lifting his controller while Luke made himself comfortable and bedded his head on Michael’s thigh.

Unsure of what to do, Ashton timidly walked up to the sofa.

“Calum’s in there,” Luke smiled at him, jutting his thumb towards door behind Ashton. It was the only other door of the bookshelved wall apart from the one they had come through. Feeling his stomach clench, Ashton made beeline for the door. With his hand on the handle, Ashton turned back around to the two boys on the sofa. Maybe he had hoped for some kind of guidance, reassurance, but he received none. Michael was too busy hammering down on the buttons of his controller and Luke too busy watching Michael doing so. Biting the inside of his cheek, Ashton turned back to face the door and pressed down the handle.

The room revealed itself to be a study. Three fourth of the walls were covered in bookshelves like the one outside, only interrupted by the occasional window. In the centre of the room stood a giant table, made from the same dark wood that the floor and walls were panelled with. All kinds of grapes and fruit were carved into the solid backside of the table, catching Ashton’s eye for a moment before he flicked his gaze up to Calum, who sat behind the table.

The other boy’s slender body almost disappeared in the massive armchair he was perched on. Ashton held his breath as he watched Calum run his index finger over his jaw, eyes transfixed on the book splayed out on the table. Ashton thought that Calum looked like a child king on his throne, too young for what he was supposed to do but with every intention to prevail. In lack of a better idea (and because he would probably suffocate if he was holding his breath any longer), Ashton cleared his throat.

Instantly, Calum’s eyes shot up, a serene smile spreading over his lips as he rose to his feet. Ashton blinked and then Calum was standing in front of him. Calum wrapped his hand around Ashton’s neck like the first time they had met and Ashton couldn’t help but exhale at the touch. It was like Calum’s calmness was contagious. Whenever the other boy touched him, Ashton felt soothed, reassured.

“How are you feeling?” Calum asked, chocolate eyes filling with worry.

Ashton was glad he could erase that worry, “I feel good,” it was so easy to smile in Calum’s presence, “fucking fantastic, actually!”

Calum laughed with him, his eyes going all crinkly around the edges as his lids slipped shut. Ashton let out the uncensored version of his giggle.

“I am glad,” Calum said, sincerely. The pressure on Ashton’s neck tightened for a moment, then Calum’s hand was gone, left Ashton sober. Calum cast his eyes down.

“How,” Ashton tried to break the heavy silence that was about to ensue, “how long have I been here?”

“Not more than a few hours.”

Ashton felt relief flood through his veins. He hadn’t vanished for another night. The scolding he had received from his mother last time still rung in his ears.

“Okay,” he nodded, “okay.”

“I am going to answer all questions you have,” Calum took in a deep breath, ”Sit with me?”

Ashton nodded, following Calum to sit on the couch against the non-shelfed wall. Above the couch, Ashton spotted a single, black-framed picture. It was a professionally taken picture. In front of a plain cerulean background, an about twelve year-old version of Calum was standing, grinning into the camera. Next to him stood a girl that Ashton easily identified as Mali. Next to her, on an arm chair sat a woman with the same polynesian features, Calum’s and most probably also Mali’s mother. Ashton wondered where she was. Where any of Michael or Luke’s parents were, really.

Ashton decided to start of with the most obvious question, “What did you do to me?”

Calum’s lips twitched into a sad smile. He kept his eyes on the books behind Ashton’s head while he spoke. Ashton needed a moment to decipher his expression as guilt, beneath the usual calm demeanor.

“When you walked into the woods that night, you walked into my territory. Normal people usually are kept out by the nature reserve signs, but I suppose you missed those in your drunken state.”

An overwhelming sense of sadness hit Ashton. It was like watching a movie, knowing it would end in a tragedy. He didn’t want to be a tragedy. Calum stood up, walking towards his desk and picking up the book on it. He handed it to Ashton while sitting back down.

Curiously, Ashton surveyed the page Calum had opened for him. There was script, written in a language that Ashton believed to be Latin. He didn’t know the first word but Ashton didn’t have to. The bottom of the page was taken up by a drawing, fine lines coming together to picture the head of a wolf, snout ripped open in a snarl. Half of the wolf’s head was merged with that of a man, brows furrowed he was mirroring the wolf’s snarl. Two tiny words were scribbled above the drawing: servi lunae.

“Slaves of the moon,” Calum translated, taking the book from Ashton’s hand, “that’s one of the names.”

“Werewolves,” Ashton said and Calum nodded, expression solemn. Ashton wanted to laugh, and brush him off. Tell Calum that the raven-haired boy was obviously crazy, that werewolves didn’t exist. But Ashton had seen it. He had- he was…

“You turned me,” Ashton retched out, his windpipe suddenly becoming tight, “You made me one of you. That’s why you came after me and yesterday when I- did I?”

“The first shift is the worst,” Calum said. It sounded like a phrase, something that had been said a hundred times before, losing any consolation in the process. “The worst” didn’t even come close. It was in no way sufficient to describe what Ashton had gone through. And Calum had done this to him.

Before he knew it, Ashton was on his feet, anger bubbling up inside of him, making him bellow “You monster! You turned me into a monster!”

He knew he had made a mistake when he saw the expression on Calum’s face. A second later, the door flew open and Michael was in the room, his eyes glowing an evil yellow. Ashton was about to inhale when Michael growled at him, so intensely and threatening that it made Ashton cower. His anger vanished within a heartbeat, leaving him scared to death.

“Michael!” Luke appeared next to the purple-haired boy, pressing Michael back a step by placing his hand on Michael’s chest. It looked almost funny, the scrawny blond boy trying to hold back Michael who was not only older but also half a head taller. Luke’s eyes were their normal cerulean.

“You received a gift some people would kill for!” Michael roared at Ashton, struggling to pry Luke’s hand off of him, “We risked our asses for your unworthy one and you have the audacity to yell at him?! He saved your fucking life, you imbecile!”

Ashton thought he might have to burst from all the different emotions coursing through him. There was fear and hurt, anger intense enough to make his bones shift and worry. The last three, Ashton realised, weren’t his own. He didn’t feel them all throughout his body like he did his own fear, they were more like echoes, resonating in his chest. After a moment of concentration, the feelings vanished, as if they had been light and Ashton had flicked it off. Ashton was glad there was a switch. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to handle all of it any longer.

“Michael, stop yelling! Look at him, he’s terrified!”

“Good,” Michael growled.

In response, Luke let out an indignant huff before he grabbed Michael by the upper arm and pulled him out of the room. To Ashton’s surprise, Michael didn’t resist in order to pummel Ashton. Almost pliantly, the purple-haired boy let himself be pulled out of the room. He didn’t go without shooting Ashton one last deadly glare, though. The heavy wood of the door didn’t manage to drown out the rest of Luke’s scolding completely.

Slowly, Ashton teared his eyes off the varnished wood back to the couch. Calum was still sitting where Ashton had left him. His eyes were fixed on the ground, expression wiped blank.

“I have a family,” Ashton said, effectively getting Calum to look at him, “a younger sister named Lauren and a brother called Harry. He’s only seven. My mom is working most of the time so I’m the one who raises them, I- I can’t leave them. They need me.”

Calum stayed silent. Another echo reached Ashton but he shut it off before he could decipher the emotion.

“And school,” nervously, Ashton continued on, “I have school. I’m no straight A student but I manage and -”

Calum cut him off effectively by standing up, causing Ashton to snap his mouth shut. Calum’s demeanor was calm as ever when he walked over, but Ashton didn’t let himself be fooled. Out of all the half-time predators in this house, Calum was by far the most dangerous. No one had ever told Ashton, but the dynamics were clear. If this, all of them, were a pack, Calum was the alpha.  He was the leader.

Ashton almost wanted to cry in relief when Calum cupped his cheek, only for a moment before he spoke softly, “I am sorry.”

“You’re not a monster,” Ashton hurried to say.  

A tiny smile appeared on Calum’s lips, “We are all monsters. You and I just get to have fangs and a tail.”

Ashton wanted to laugh, so he did. After a moment, Calum joined in, more quietly, his hand returning to Ashton’s neck. They looked at each other for a moment, then Calum strolled around Ashton, opening the door, “Take a walk with me?”

Ashton followed.


	6. tie

_tie [ty]_

_verb, to tie_

_1\. fasten or secure with or as if with a cord or rope_

_2\. to bring together in a relationship, connect or unite_

Luke had passed out on the couch when Ashton walked into the living room. Michael was playing his video game one-handedly now, using the free hand to card his fingers through Luke’s hair. Calum did the same as he walked by, as well as touching Michael’s shoulder. Michael reciprocated the touch by bumping his knee against Calum’s leg, his eyes never leaving the TV screen. Ashton watched them silently, trying to smother the strange feeling of jealousy in his stomach.

The feeling perished for the most part when Calum turned back to him, smiled softly. Ashton felt the corners of his mouth twitch up at their own accord. It put him at ease, the knowledge that Calum had forgiven him for what he had said.

Calum lead him up the staircase first, giving Ashton the more detailed tour Luke had promised.

“These are Michael and Luke’s rooms. Should you ever need anything, try Luke’s room first, he should be in there if he’s not in the living room. Luke will gladly help you with anything. Same goes for Michael.”

Ashton wanted to snort, “I don’t think Michael likes me.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Ashton regretted them. It was stupid of him, bad-mouthing Michael in front of his best friend. Calum didn’t lash out at him, though.

“Well, so far, you haven’t done anything that has put you in his good graces,” the hint of a smile appeared on Calum’s face, “but don’t worry about it too much. Mike will come around, eventually. You are part of the pack now.”

Ashton shuddered when Calum took a step back down the hallway to wrap a hand around Ashton’s upper arm. “You are part of this pack now, Ashton,” Calum repeated for emphasis, whiskey eyes gleaming in the dusk light falling in through the leadlight window at the end of the hallway. Ashton was mesmerised how they changed colour with the lighting.

“My pack,” Calum added, sly smile spreading over his lips and Ashton let his eyes flutter close. He couldn’t describe what he felt at Calum’s words, but it was overwhelming, made his chest tighten before something in his gut settled and the usual ease Calum’s touch brought upon him returned. It was different this time.

Somehow Ashton knew that, even if Calum would let him go physically, all the comfort and reassurance would stay with him. Ashton could feel Calum, and Michael and Luke in the living room below them, by presence alone. They were a part of him now, and he was a part of them. Ashton had become larger than his body. He was a part of this pack, would be no matter where he went. To Ashton’s surprise, the thought exhilarated them. It made him feel powerful. Ashton had never been powerful before.

“This one is Mali’s room, but I wouldn’t go in there unless you want to be roped into some kind of remedy experiment with strange plants or an intense discussion about nail polish,” Calum grinned, so fondly that it made Ashton’s heart ache. He knew what Calum felt. Ashton had a sister as well. The thought sobered him. Ashton had a sister as well, and a little brother who were waiting for him at home.

“Now this one,” Calum walked around Ashton to tap two of his fingers against the door behind Ashton’s back. Calum pressed the handle down and Ashton was surprised to find himself back in the same room he had woken up in after the night in the woods.

“This will be your room,” Calum smiled at him. “You can decorate it like you want, but you may have to buy a dustpan first.”

“I uhm, I have a room,” Ashton felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment, “at home I mean, like,” Ashton winced, “I have a home. My mom and my siblings, I already told you I can‘t-”

“You can do what you want,” Calum’s voice was calm, collected as always. He wasn’t smiling anymore. Ashton smothered the repercussion of something that hit his chest before he could decipher the emotion. Calum’s eyes fell to the bed Ashton had left unmade that first morning. “You can go home. You don’t have to stay here 24/7." When Calum looked back up, his expression was blank. “You’ll come back after school.”

Ashton noticed Calum’s phrasing. He wasn’t asking Ashton to come back. He already knew Ashton would. Ashton was part of Calum’s pack now.

Ashton perked up, “Does that mean… ?”

“You can go to school,” Calum clarified, “we all go to the high school in Saint’s, but Michael will transfer to your school.”

Ashton tried hard not to pull a face, “Why?”

Calum chuckled, “So you don’t kill anyone, obviously.”

With that, he walked back out of the room that was now Ashton’s. Calum lead him back down the stairs and out of the house. The autumn’s air was damp, got colder with the setting sun.

“I’m not freezing,” Ashton stated, running a hand over his bare arms.

“”Higher body temperature,” Calum breathed fog into the air, his bare feet making the grass beneath him squelch as he lead Ashton further away from the house. "Your proteins have been adjusted to a higher denaturation point. We’re at about 42 celsius.” Calum glanced at him. “That’s not the only thing.”

Ashton swallowed. This was it. The big question in the room. Ashton wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But he had to, to get home. “What else is there?”

Calum came to an abrupt halt, his shoulders bumping into Ashton’s chest. The raven-haired boy looked at him for a good, few seconds before a slow, feral grin made Calum’s lips part, “You tell me.”

Ashton blinked in confusion and like that, his vision was overcast by a yellowish tint and suddenly, he could see. It was similar to the moment Ashton had put on glasses for the first time. The leaves of the trees became focussed, Ashton being able to tell single leaves apart. Whenever he moved his gaze, the edges blurred before leaving him with a magnified view of whatever he had focussed on. A slight gasp escaped him. Looking at Calum, Ashton realised that Calum’s eyes, too, were glowing an even more intense golden. It was breath-taking, seeing Calum with wolf’s eyes.

“What do you see?” Calum asked.

Ashton couldn’t help the amazed laugh that bubbled out of his throat, “Everything.”

He let his gaze sway over the house. For the first time he noticed the slightly chipped state of the barn paint, the splatters of mud against the front porch steps. It wasn’t just his vision. The most overwhelming change was his smell. There was earth and impending rain, a strong flowery herb scent that came from the greenhouse, and Calum who smelled like musk and boy and something that made Ashton want to shove his nose into the crook of Calum’s neck.

If Ashton focussed, he could hear the animals creep in the bushwhack of the woods, the slight hum of insects crawling over bark and leaves.

 _You received a gift some people would kill for._ Ashton understood now what Michael had meant. Ripping his head up and mouth open, Ashton let out a short but preeminent howl. To his surprise, it came out much clearer and stronger than he had thought, startling Ashton.

Calum next to him began to laugh. Bending over, he slapped his knee repeatedly like a seal, his eyes crinkling. Giving in to the bubbling joy inside his chest, Ashton joined in. This time, he let the repercussion of what Calum felt wash over him. It was a strange but exhilarating, sharing their joy in such a way.

“I guess I don’t need my glasses anymore?” Ashton asked once he had calmed down enough to breathe properly again.

“No, never again.” Calum took a step forward,  let his fingertips ghost over Ashton’s cheeks for only the fraction of a second.

The gold hadn’t faded from Calum’s eyes when both their attention was diverted to he house. Yipping and laughing, Luke burst through the front door. The blond boy was over the front porch railing within a second, Michael hot on his heels. Michael, too, was grinning, which comforted Ashton when he was tackled to the ground by Luke. Ashton could smell the sleep on the younger boy. He had probably woken Luke up with his howl.

“Go easy on him, Luke,” Calum smiled from where he was towering above them. The breath got knocked out of him a moment later when Michael arrived, dragging Calum with him as he flopped himself down on top of the cuddle pile Luke had opened.

It should have been weird for Ashton, lying in the grass with three strange boys on top of him, each of them rubbing their hands over a part of him. But then so was having the ability of popping out a set of fangs and fur upon liking and, really, there was that. Ashton savoured the cuddles as long as they lasted.

Michael was the first one to pull himself back to his feet, plucking Luke off of Ashton’s right side once he was standing. Luke let out a protesting growl that turned into a pout once he had met Michael’s stern gaze. As soon as Luke had lowered his head in surrender, Michael turned his head to nod at Ashton, nothing more but the infinitesimal tilt of his head. Ashton understood, nonetheless and reciprocrated the nod. With that, Michael turned on his bare heels and sauntered back to the house.

“Welcome to the pack,” Luke beamed down at Ashton before running after Michael. He caught up to the purple-haired boy right in front of the porch, jumping onto his back. Ashton watched Michael granting Luke a piggyback ride until they had disappeared back into the house, then he turned his head to the side and up. Calum was lying next to him, looking at the sky. Calum’s eyes droped halfway close as he blinked down Ashton.

A smug smile appeared on his lips, “It’s not as bad, is it?”

Ashton bit his lip, then he decided to go for it and rested his cheek against Calum’s underarm next to his face, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For giving this to me. Michael was right, it is a gift.”

Calum sat up, squeezing his hands in his lap as he shot Ashton a close-mouthed smile. Ashton tried hard not to get distracted by the bulging muscles of Calum’s arms. It wasn’t Ashton’s fault, really, his life would be a lot easier if they all wouldn’t be shirtless all the time. 

"Thank you," Calum managed, eventually. "I don't turn people voluntarily, so." 

There were so many emotions in Calum’s eyes that Ashton failed to decipher a single one. 

“Sometimes,” Ashton swallowed, “sometimes I feel like this… peng of emotion in my chest, but it doesn’t come from me. What I feel that-”

“We call it an echo,” Calum cut him off, not rudely. Calum never interrupted him, it was more like a talent to predict when Ashton’s sentences would fade out on their own. “You can imagine it as being a limb of the same body. If one of us gets hurt, we can all feel it. Same goes for anger or fear or… any kind of strong emotion, really. It’s a thing of being in tune. The closer we are, the stronger the echo.”

Ashton nodded before averting his gaze to the sky. Next to him, he could hear Calum collapse back onto his back as well. It was dark, long before either of them got up.

*

Ashton winced when the back door of his house sprung open with a creak. The walls of the semi-d were thin, his mother’s room right down the hall from the kitchen. Cursing silently, Ashton pressed the door back shut and tiptoed to the fridge. Now that he realised it, he was starving. Lunch before the endurance test seemed a lifetime ago and he hadn’t eaten anything at Calum’s house.

“Mom’s at the diner, you don’t have to bother sneaking.”

The plate of leftovers Ashton had scavenged clattered to the ground, cold fries spilling over the linoleum floor.

“Fudge, Lauren!” Ashton threw the fridge door shut. Heart hammering in his chest, he turned toward his little sister. Lauren was leaning against the door frame of the kitchen entrance. Clad in her Minnie Mouse pyjamas, she had her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“You missed dinner,” Lauren told him, decisively unimpressed, “Harry and I were alone.”

Within an instant, Ashton deflated, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” the ten year-old shrugged, “I can put the plate in the microwave for you?”

“No,” Ashton tried hard to quench the smothering guilt in his chest, “no, it’s fine, tyke. Get back to bed. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

Ashton waited until his sister had left before he began gathering the food from the floor. He ended up wolfing down the chicken and fries cold as they were, with his back rested against the sink cabinet. Somehow, Ashton couldn’t find the motivation to get up and sit down at the table. He waited until he heard his mother’s car pull into the driveway before he dragged himself to his feet and went into his room. Ashton had passed out before his head hit the pillow.


	7. aquiver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello lovelies! I'm sorry this is late, uni is keeping me very busy, but whenever I have a minute of free time, I'm writing, promise. Enjoy! xx

_aquiver_

_adjective_

_1\. trembling, shaking rapidly, quivering_

 

The overwhelming taste of salt made Ashton retch as he fought against the waves crashing over his head, pulling him under yet again. Despite the burn, Ashton kept his eyes open, frantically searching for the beacon’s light hitting the surface. His oxygen was running out, nothing but water filling his lungs as his chest cramped and his mouth snapped open at its own accord. Ashton was long lost in the deep before the light illuminated the sea again.

*

Ashton woke up to an incessant ringing in his ear. Groaning, he lifted his head from his pillow and plucked his phone from the bedside table, blinking against the harsh artificial light of the screen.

“Hello?”

“I’m picking you up in ten,” Michael’s voice informed him.

Ashton didn’t even get to utter a grunt before the line went dead against his ear. Letting the phone fall onto the pillow, Ashton swung himself out of bed. He needed to blink a couple of times before the black spots disappeared from his vision and he stood steadily. Ashton hadn’t been a fan of mornings in the first place, but being rung out of bed by a crude werewolf that just so happened to be part of the pack Ashton belonged to was a new low point, even for him.

He picked up a pair of jeans from the floor and grabbed a pair of boxers out of the open drawer of his dresser. Yawning until his jaw cracked, Ashton stumbled into the tiny ensuite bathroom that had been the reason he had claimed his room as his own when they had moved into the house.

A low moan escaped Ashton when the pelting water of the shower hit his body. The wound on his shoulder had closed fully, was nothing more than soft, pink skin. Ashton massaged the spot while he rinsed his hair with the other. It still seemed so surreal to him, everything that had happened that night in the woods. Ashton wasn’t sure yet, what it all meant. He knew it would be alright, though. Digging his nails into the spot where he had been bitten, Ashton submerged his head fully under the spray. He had received a gift. He would be alright.

By the time Ashton had made it out of the bathroom, towel slung around his shoulders while he was trying to squeeze his still damp legs into his jeans, his phone was ringing again.

“You’re late.”

“Fuck!” Startled by the unexpected presence in his room, Ashton’s foot tangled in the waistband of his jeans, his balance was thrown off-kilter and like that he was tumbling to the ground. Wincing as his knees hit the ground hard, Ashton glared up at Calum. The raven-haired boy was leaning against the doorframe of Ashton’s room, his mouth twitching with unshed laughter as he walked over to where Ashton was.

Calum was clad in maroon dress pants and a crisp white shirt beneath a maroon blazer, the top few buttons undone. A school uniform. Right, Saint’s was a private school. Ashton sighed when Calum’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck, fingertips rubbing against his skin.

The other boy picked up Ashton’s phone from where it had clattered to the ground and pressed it to his ear, “Hey, Mike. Yeah, we’ll be right out.”

“You could have warned me,” Ashton grumbled when Calum handed him his phone back. Turning his head away in an attempt to hide the blush that was creeping on his cheeks (he was half-naked after all), Ashton pulled himself to his feet. He could feel Calum’s eyes on him as he walked over to his desk chair and pulled a fresh shirt out of the pile his mother had perched on the seat.

“Sorry,” Calum said, tilting his head to the side. It made him look strangely like a puppy, which… the irony. Ashton refocused on finding a matching pair of socks, instead of elaborating on that thought. Once he was fully dressed, he picked up his backpack from its spot under his desk and made a beeline for the door. Calum followed him.

Ashton was already down the stairs, a mere metre away from his kitchen door when he remembered that, right, his siblings would be in there. The realisation made Ashton come to an abrupt halt, causing Calum to run into him from behind. For the split of a second Calum’s arm was around his waist, his face pressing into the back of Ashton’s neck, but then he was gone, a good few steps behind Ashton when he turned around.

“My little brother and sister are in there,” Ashton said.

Calum smiled at him, his teeth flashing in the sunlight falling in through the front door window, “I know. I can smell them.”

“Please, don’t…” Ashton sighed. What was he supposed to say? Please, don’t behave all werewolf-y around my little siblings? Ashton rubbed a hand over his jaw, “Would you mind waiting here, just for a second? My siblings aren’t used to guests.”

“Okay,” Calum shrugged before sitting down on the bottom step of the stairs.

Ashton watched the fabric of Calum’s dress shirt strain against his chest before he shook himself out of it and entered the kitchen.

Harry, half asleep over his cornflakes, didn’t give more than a wave of his spoon in greeting while Lauren next to him perked up. She protested when Ashton stole half of her mayo and ham sandwich.

Shoving the bread into his mouth in one go, Ashton hummed, turning towards the counter. He shoved the brown lunch bag his mother had prepared into his backpack before grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. A short glance out the kitchen window reassured Ashton that, indeed, the familiar black Jeep was parked next to the curb in front of his house. The car was way too flashy for Ashton’s neighbourhood.

“I’ll be a bit late today,” Ashton ignored the sour taste of the words on his mouth, “No shenanigans until I’m home. I’m gonna cook something tonight so don’t try to use the oven yourselves.”

Lauren rolled her eyes at him while Harry nodded obediently. Ashton turned his head towards his sister, “Make sure Harry gets dressed and don’t let him wear his The Flash shirt. He wore that the last two days.”  

Harry uttered a protesting “Hey!” while Lauren saluted.

Grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl, Ashton made a beeline for the door, “Bye guys. Love ya.”

“Bye!” his sibling’s voices called after him.

Calum pulled himself to his feet the moment Ashton reemerged from the kitchen.

"Here, for you,” Ashton handed Calum the apple before turning towards the front door and heading outside. Ashton smiled when the echo of surprise and happiness hit his chest.

*

Ashton could feel the tension even before he had climbed into the backseat.

“... just saying that it might be a good idea.”

Michael and Luke were sitting in the front, Michael’s grip on the steering wheel tight as he looked down at Luke with a carefully neutral expression.

The blond boy was clearly not amused. His cheeks were stained red with anger, nimble fingers coming up to loosen the knot of his tie. Luke was wearing the same maroon school uniform as Calum.   “You’re saying that like it’s nothing! This is the first time since-- we haven't...”

“Stop, Luke!” Michael’s voice rose in volume, “It’s not that big of a deal as you make it out to be!”

Ashton watched the exchange between the two werewolves like a tennis match. As much as Ashton had gotten used to Michael’s hot temper, it was weird seeing Luke upset. The echo of distress Ashton received from Luke a moment later was even worse. It made Ashton want to snarl, disembody everyone who dared to make Luke, made Ashton feel that way.

Luke inhaled sharply when he was cut off by Calum who had taken the remaining seat in the back.

“Luke!” the raven-haired boy barked. Ashton could feel his heartbeat speed up and his vision tinted yellow. “Control yourself, you are triggering him!”

Ashton only saw Luke pale and look at him out of the corner of his eyes, as in the next moment, Calum had wrapped his hands around Ashton’s chin and was forcing the older boy to look at him.

“Repeat after me,” Calum said, the authoritative tone to his voice shrinking Ashton’s world down to the alpha’s face, “efferitas exeat.”

Ashton opened his mouth, his breathing becoming more ragged as his blood began to heat up. A tremble went through his body and suddenly, Ashton knew. He was about to shift. And he couldn’t. Not here, not in the car with Calum and Luke and Michael, not so close to his family’s house.

“Say it,” Calum urged him, nails digging into Ashton’s jaw. Ashton was thankful for the pain. It gave him a fixpoint.

“Effer-effor…” Ashton’s tongue struggled to wrap around the hard consonants. His body was getting hotter by the second.

“Efferitas exeat.”

“Efferitas exeat,” Ashton repeated.

“Again,” Calum demanded and Ashton obliged. Over and over again, he uttered the words, until his heartbeat had calmed and his blood had cooled down. As soon as the yellow faded from his vision, he let his eyes flutter shut.

“And this,” Calum said, letting go of Ashton’s face in favour rubbing his shoulder, “brings us to your first lesson. If you are emotionally compromised, you will shift. So try to stay out of any situation that will make you overly excited, sad, and foremost angry, okay?”

Ashton nodded.

“Good. Remember the mantra?”

Ashton nodded, again. In the front, Michael started the car and pulled away from the curb. The roar of the engine was much smoother than the old beat-up hatchback Ashton’s mother drove, almost mollifying. After Ashton had rubbed a hand over his face, he looked up at Calum, then Luke, who was, his back to the windshield, staring at him out of wide blue eyes.

Ashton shot the blond boy a reassuring smile before turning back to Calum, “It’s Latin, right? What does it mean?”

“The truculency shall end,” Calum said, “Whenever you feel like you’re losing control, you repeat the mantra. It’s our mantra, no other pack has it but us. It will help you.”

“Anti-wolf mantra, got it,” Ashton run a hand through his curls, “anything else?”

“Don’t kill anyone,” Luke supplied idly from the passenger seat.

Calum let out a short grunt, “What Luke means to say is, you’re now stronger, faster and in any other physical way superior to all the other kids attending your school.”

“Except for me,” Michael added without taking his eyes off the street.

The hint of a smile appeared on Calum’s face, “Except for Michael.” Calum’s eyes were serious when he looked back at Ashton, “You can’t use your new abilities at school. Act like nothing has changed. No one can know that you are a werewolf now. No one.”

Ashton nodded, feeling a little bit overwhelmed, “Okay.”

Calum smiled, softly this time, “You can do it.”

“Otherwise, I’m there to get rid off the bodies,” Michael muttered under his breath.

“Mike,” Calum scolded but got nothing than a sweet smile in return, “We’re there.”

*

“Not gonna lie, I’m digging this whole dressing like you want thing,” Michael grinned, stretching his arms in his leather jacket as they joined the throng of students trying to get into the school building.

Ashton could feel the bemused to irritated looks piercing through them while Michael and he walked past the other students. Michael didn’t seem to be bothered in the least. He wore his dyed hair and leather jacket with poise, daring anyone to say something to his face. A part of Ashton envied him for that.

The other part was concerned. Michael was like a flashing neon sign, shining light onto Ashton, who, up until this point, had gotten by mostly by keeping it on the low, becoming invisible as often as he could. Nonetheless, Ashton hurried to grin back. Something inside him was incredibly bent on getting Michael’s approval.

The purple-haired boy scrunched up his face once they had entered the yellow-brick building.

“I don’t like school,” Michael told Ashton upon his inquisitive look.

Ashton nodded. He couldn’t really argue with that.

“Ashton Irwin!” Ashton winced as he heard the familiar voice call out his name. The next second, he was pulled out of the stream by his ferocious looking best friend. “Where the fuck have you been? You promised to call me yesterday, forgot?”

“Fuck,” guiltily, Ashton cast his eyes down while Ashley crossed her arms in front of his chest, “I’m sorry, I--”

“I was worried! Also Bio sucked ass without you, we are doing a new project with assigned partners and I got that idiot Greg Perkins, you know one of Carter’s gorillas?”

Ashton nodded in sympathy. He did know Greg, far too well. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m Michael,” the purple-haired boy introduced himself, inconspicuously wedging himself between them.

Ashley examined the younger boy from head to toe before squinting, “Do I know you?”

“He’s that friend, I told you about,” Ashton intervened before Michael could speak up, “the older brother of one of Harry’s friends? He picked me up yesterday, remember.”

“Ah." Recognition flickered in Ashley’s eyes. She pursed her blue-painted lips before grinning deviously, “I’m Ashley. Did you use Directions on your hair?”

A just as feral smile appeared on Michael’s face. “Madison Reed, you?”

Ashley huffed, “Bleach London.”

“Nice." Michael tipped his head in approval. It was the first time Ashton saw Michael show respect to someone who was not part of their pack.

“Mhm, he’s cute,” Ashley informed Ashton, “we’re gonna keep him.”

Ashton blinked, his mouth falling open slightly as he watched his best friend sling her arm through Michael’s. A moment later, Ashley was pulling the bemused but not uncomfortable looking werewolf down the hallway. Ashton hurried to catch up with them.


	8. syzygy

_syzygy [siz-i-jee]_

_noun, plural syzygies_

_1\. an alignment of three celestial objects, as the sun, the earth, and either the moon or a planet_

 

By the end of the week, Ashley had taken full custody of Michael. The purple-haired boy preened under the attention and Ashton watched their friendly bickering with amazement. It would’ve almost felt normal, Michael just being another kid that had joined them at the loser table, if it hadn’t been for the two times Ashton’s mind went into overdrive and it was only Michael pulling him into the next restroom, forcing him to repeat the mantra Calum had taught Ashton, that kept Ashton from turning right in the middle of the school hallway. More than the physical pain the almost shift brought upon him, Ashton hated the way Michael would look at him afterwards, disappointment bright in his eyes.

“Control,” Michael told him on their drive home on Friday, “nothing matters but control.”

“Efferitas exeat,” Ashton gave back, blankly. He was barely able to keep the annoyance out of his voice. It wasn’t fair towards Michael, he knew the purple-haired boy was only doing what he was supposed to do. Apart from that Ashton didn’t think it was a good idea under any circumstance to act pissy towards Michael. Ashton was just frustrated with himself.

“I’m picking you back up at six,” Michael informed him once he had pulled up to Ashton’s house.

“Okay,” Ashton said. He knew it would have been pointless to argue with Michael. With a small wave, he got out of the car and stalked towards the front door of his house.

Ashton’s mother was asleep on the couch when he entered the living room. Breathing past the overwhelming smell of vanilla scented candle, Ashton spent a good two minutes searching for the remote before he was finally able to shut the TV off. His mother stirred in her sleep, her nurse uniform crinkling as she curled in on her side. Carefully, Ashton draped the blanket that had fallen to the ground back over her body. Lastly, he took the empty plate of leftovers with him as he made his way out of the room.

He found Lauren in the kitchen, brooding over her homework.

“Hey, kiddo,” Ashton greeted her whilst dumping the dirty dishes onto the pile accumulating in the kitchen sink. “How was your day?”

“I don’t like math,” the ten year-old grumbled, resting her chin on her hand and pouting up at him.

Ashton couldn’t help but laugh at the sight, “Yeah, I think no one does. You can do it, though.”

“What if I don’t wanna?”

Ashton frowned at her, “Lauren.”

“I have an idea,” his sister smiled slyly and Ashton knew then that he had gotten wrapped up in a scheme, “if I do my math homework, can I go to Kelly’s tonight then?”

“Mhm,” Ashton pretended to contemplate, “yeah I think that’s in it. Where does she live?”

“Near the distillery. Kelly said her mum would even come and pick me up if you allow it.”

Ashton nodded, “That’s alright. Have you seen Harry today?”

“He’s spending the weekend at Jake’s.”

“Is he?” Ashton frowned. “He didn’t tell me.”

“He asked mom.”

“Alright. You want me to help you with your homework?”

“Please,” Lauren rolled her eyes, “I can do it alone.”

Laughing, Ashton picked up the sandwich he had made himself and walked out of the kitchen and into his room. He had a good three hours before Michael would come back and pick him up.

Ashton was about two pages into the novel he had to read for his English Lit class when his door flew open. Ashton didn’t flinch, by now he was used to it. He merely grunted and pulled in his legs when Ashley flopped down at the foot end of his bed.

“I hate him,” his blue-haired friend announced, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

With a sigh, Ashton closed his book and placed it on the bedside table. “Okay, tell me.”

Ashley huffed.

“Did he talk shit behind your back?”

“No, I would have killed him. And that wouldn’t bother me, really, then I could cross him off my list as just another male disappointment.”

“Reasonable,” Ashton conceded, “maybe would’ve caused some international quarrels with the Norwegians, but hey, who cares. Now tell me what did Lido do?”

Ashley looked at her nails, “He kinda asked me on a date.”

“Oh,” Ashton sat up, “but that’s good right? What did you say?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“Ashley!”

“I know,” she wailed, burying her hands in her face, “I hate this Ashton, I really do. I’m not used to feeling all… mushy inside.”

“Awww,” Ashton cooed at her.

“Oh my god, shut up!” Ashley lightly slapped his leg, throwing a pillow at his face when Ashton started making kissy faces at her. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Ashton picked his book back up.

“I don’t,” Ashley sighed, “I also have no idea what to wear.”

“Just wear anything, I don’t think he will care.”

“That is such a boy thing to say.”

“First of all, sexist,” Ashton giggled when his best friend groaned, “second of all, what I mean to say is that you’ll look great in anything.”

“Suck-up,” Ashley grinned, her tone way too fond to mean any harm. She flopped to the side, resting her head on the pillow next to Ashton’s head. Not a minute later, Ashton felt her breath even out against his bicep. Shaking his head fondly, Ashton turned the page.

Ten minutes before Michael was destined to pick him back up, Ashton shook the blue-haired girl back awake.

“No, leave me here for death.”

“Oh come on, you slept for over two and a half hours.” Ashton struggled to pull his best friend out of bed, but eventually he managed. Ashley followed him grumbling out of the room and down the stairs. By the time they had made it out of the house, the black Jeep was already waiting for Ashton in front of his house.

Ashley raised her eyebrows, “Is that car waiting for you?”

Ashton nodded, “Yeah, it’s Michael. We’re gonna uh,” it was then that it occurred to Ashton that he had actually no idea what they were going to do that night, “hang out.”

Ashley hummed, rubbing her index finger over her chin, “For the record, I can live with the fact that you spend so much time with your new friends, but you can’t love them more than me.”

She pouted and Ashton laughed, “Oh, I would never dare to.”

“Good,” Ashley grinned at him, obviously consoled, “do you think Michael would mind taking a detour to my house? My mom dropped me off on her way to work and I don’t wanna walk to the bus station.”

“Sure, hold on.”

Ashton jogged the few metres around the car and pulled the door open, leaning over the passenger seat to talk to Michael.

“Hey, sorry, would you mind if we-- holy shit!” Ashton wasn’t proud of the squeak he uttered when he saw that it was Calum, not Michael who had come to pick him up, “Calum!”

“Ashton,” Calum smiled at him.

Calum leaned forward and Ashton already braced himself for the inevitable fondling, when, half an inch from Ashton’s face, Calum’s nostrils flared and the raven-haired boy pulled back. His whole face scrunched up as he fell back into his seat.

Ashton was confused for a second, but decided to focus on the task at hand, “Uh hey, do you mind if we give my friend a ride?”

Calum shook his head, his eyes staying transfixed on the road. After a moment of hesitation, Ashton nodded and climbed back out of the car to give Ashley a thumbs up. “We’re gonna drive you home, c’mon.”

“Awesome”, the blue-haired girl told him with chattering teeth. Once she had climbed into the backseat, Ashley addressed Calum, “Hey, dude, thanks for the ride.”

“No problem,” Calum gave back, his tone calm as usual, yet clipped. Ashton smothered the echo before it could unfold in his chest. Whatever Calum was feeling right now, Ashton didn’t need an echo to know it certainly wasn’t a happy emotion.

They spend the drive to Ashley’s house in silence, the low rumble from the radio sparsely interrupted by Ashton giving Calum directions. Calum’s lips stayed pressed shut, his eyes never leaving the road. Ashley seemed to sense the tension in the air, because as opposed to her usual bubbly demeanor, she, too, kept her mouth shut tightly until they pulled up in front of her house.

“Alright, this is it. I’ll call you tomorrow, Ashy,” with a wave, the blue-haired girl pushed the car door open, “Thanks again for the ride!”

“Bye!” Ashton called after her, just before the car door fell shut behind his best friend. He watched Ashley trudge up the few steps to her front door, waited until she had disappeared beneath the green-varnished door before he turned towards Calum. Calum shot him a feeble smile before he started the engine back up and pulled onto the street.

Ashton turned away to look out of the window. Frankly, knowing that Calum was anything but happy around him was killing Ashton. Calum obviously didn’t seem to want to talk about it though, so Ashton resorted to what he did best. He would ignore the problem until it would go away.

* 

Luke made a beeline for him, the moment Ashton entered the kitchen, “Don’t beat yourself up too much, Ashton. We all struggled at the beginning.”

Ashton needed a few good seconds to process what Luke had just told him, “Huh?”

“A few more shifts and you’ll be fully sentient when you’re a wolf. Michael told us what happened at school today.”

 _Oh._ “Oh,” Ashton mumbled.

“We all mess up sometimes. Control will come eventually,” Luke smiled, “you’ll get there, I believe in you.”

“Thanks, Luke,” Ashton smiled at him, feeling consoled. It was nice to know at least one of them did.

“Pizza!” Michael announced, coming in from the living room, a stack of cardboard boxes in his arms.

“Pizza!” Luke cheered back, pulling open the drawer to his right in order to retrieve what turned out to be a pizza cutter.

“They will need a while for that,” Calum told Ashton, appearing at his side. “You can come into the living room and choose a movie with me.”

Ashton nodded before following the other boy into the next room. Ashton flopped down onto one of the chesterfields while Calum walked over to the shelves next to the chimney.

“So like…”

Calum looked up from the stack of DVDs that had been perched horizontally in front of all the other DVDs stacked in the shelf.

“Pizza and DVDs?” Ashton asked, “A normal movie night? This is what this is?”

Calum blinked at him, “Yes?” The raven-haired boy furrowed his brows, “Why, what did you think we were going to do?”

“Oh,” Ashton pulled his knees against his chest, “nothing just…”

Calum looked at him for a couple more seconds before a sly smile took over his features, “Why, Ashton, did you think that we were going to do some crazy wolf ritual? Paint a pentagram onto the wall with our blood and howl at the moon?”

“No,” Ashton gave back. It wasn’t what Ashton had thought of. There had been candles in his vision.

“Sure,” Calum sniggered before holding two of the DVD cases up, “in any case, which one?”

“Save yourself the time, Hood,” Michael’s voice came from the kitchen, “I already chose a movie!”

“Wolves,” Calum sighed, “so annoying with their supernatural hearing.”

Ashton was about to respond but then suddenly Calum was towering over him, pressing Ashton’s knees flat before flopping himself on top of the curly-haired boy. Ashton gasped lightly, played it off as a sound of discomfort.

“Shh,” Calum shushed him, sprawled himself out until he was comfortable. With a sigh, Ashton deflated and accepted his fate as Calum’s pillow for the evening.

“Good boy,” Calum mused from where he had bedded his head on Ashton’s chest. Ashton was about to ask, but then he remembered that, right, echoes were a thing.

“Disgusting,” Michael commented as he walked up to them, “look how they are cuddling without us, Luke.”

“Rude,” the blond boy agreed, his faux-offended expression crumbling within seconds as he perched himself on Michael’s lap, who had previously wedged himself into the space between Ashton’s feet and the armrest of the sofa. Ashton thought it to be kind of ironic, that there were two more, enormously sized sofas available and yet they had all ended on the same one. Somehow, he didn’t mind in the least. It felt right like this, all of them ending up in a single heap of limbs and pizza grease.

Luke was the first one to fall asleep, Michael following him throughout the second movie. Ashton felt his eyelids become heavy at the end of it and with the knowledge that he was safe here, surrounded - quite literally - by his pack, he allowed himself to fall asleep.

It was an elbow to the stomach that jerked Ashton back into consciousness. Keeping his body still and his breathing steady, Ashton assessed the situation. To mask his initial reaction, Ashton rolled onto his side, pretended to drift off again. It was then that he realised the body on top of his was gone.

Carefully, Ashton pried his eyes open. The living room was dark, illuminated only by the moonlight falling in through the floor length windows. Calum was standing at the far end of the sofa, his hand carding through first Luke, then Michael’s hair before he turned and walked away.

Ashton listened to him walk into the kitchen, put on what smelled like his shoes. The decision was infinitesimal, almost non-existent. Silently, Ashton sat up. He arched his back, popped his spine as well as he could, before pulling himself to his feet. By the time he made it into the kitchen, Calum was gone.

Thanking all the powers to be for his inability to ger cold, Ashton snuck out the kitchen door. The air outside was damp, tasted cold against his teeth. He could see Calum’s silhouette, headed towards the edge of the woods. Cursing under his breath, Ashton fell into a running pace.

Calum spun around, a good few seconds before Ashton reached him, “Ashton?”

Involuntarily, Ashton’s eyes began to glow, “Yeah, it’s me.” Hastily, he blinked the yellowish tint out of his vision. “Sorry.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“You woke me. And then you left and I thought, uhm…” Ashton was thankful that the darkness was hiding his blush, “maybe you would like some company? With whatever you’re doing at three am out in the woods that is, of course.”

Calum looked at him for a couple of seconds, his expression blank before it softened.

“Yeah,” Calum’s voice was gentle as he spoke, a soft smile overtaking his features, “sure.”

And like that, the raven-haired boy had dropped to the ground, sprawled himself out on his back. “Lay with me?”

Ashton complied, of course he did. If Calum would have asked him to set the world on fire, Ashton probably would have done it. He sprawled himself out on his back, mimicking Calum’s position.

“The stars are beautiful,” Ashton stated, following Calum’s gaze. The night sky was pitch black, illuminated by millions and millions of tiny dots.

Calum perked up visibly, “You like the stars?”

“Yeah, I mean as much as everybody else does, I think. Why,” Ashton lifted his head to look at Calum, “you know more about it?”

Calum nodded, his eyes crinkling before a serious expression took over his face, “That bright one there? That’s Sirius. Where I come from people associate its rise with the beginning of winter. Also, a lot of people think it’s just one star, but it’s actually a star system. Sirius A and B. Two stars to form the brightest constellation.”

“Really? That’s so cool. How do you know all that?”

“I love the stars. As a kid, I always used to watch the stars with my mom.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Yeah,” Ashton didn’t have to look at Calum to know that the other boy was smiling. “See that kind of blue one there? That’s Vega. And those few over there. That cluster is called Pleiades, or the ‘Seven Sisters’. I think that’s kinda cool. It makes up a part of the Taurus constellation, you know the zodiac sign?”

Ashton hummed, urged Calum to keep talking. He could have spent an eternity like this.

Ashton felt at ease, laying in the grass with Calum, just gazing at the stars while the other boy’s voice lulled him to sleep.

“Hey, Ashton?” Calum asked what felt like hours later. They had lain in silence for a couple of minutes now.

Mournfully, Ashton pried his eyes back open. He had nearly drifted off. “Yes?”

“Are you and that girl…” Calum broke off and Ashton lifted his head, propped himself up on his elbow to get a proper look at the other boy. Calum exhaled loudly, “Was she your girlfriend?”

“Ashley?!” Ashton giggled at the thought alone. “Hell no! She’s like my sister that would be,” Ashton shuddered, “no way. Why would you think that?”

“You reek like her,” Calum’s lips pursed before they parted into a triumphant smile, “reeked like her, anyway.”

“Oh?” Ashton let himself fall back onto his back and lolled his head to the side, “What do I smell like now then?”

“Me,” Calum grinned at the sky. “Just like me.”

“That’s alright,” Ashton yawned, scooting closer to Calum so he could rest his head on the other boy’s ribs, “I can live with that.”

Ashton had passed out even before he felt Calum’s fingers tangling in his hair.


	9. nemesis

_nemesis [nem-uh-sis]_

_noun, plural nemeses_

_1\. an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome_

_2\. an agent or act of retribution or punishment_

 

Ashton woke up with the smell of bacon in his nose and sunlight tickling his feet.  A groan escaped him as he buried his face deeper in the duvet he was sprawled out on. Swallowing against the dry taste in his mouth, Ashton focussed on his hearing. Within a heartbeat, the noises around him amplified and he heard the muffled sound of laughter, the sizzling of oil in a pan, the crinkling of plastic and a female voice telling Luke to put plates on the table.

Ashton shook off the last of tranquility and sat up. He found himself in the room Calum had given him, his room. Now, without the fear of being subjected to governmental experimentation or Calum’s presence captivating most of his attention, Ashton took the time to actually examine the room. It was still as empty as it had been the first few times he had been in here, but now Ashton saw the minor imperfections, the holes in the tapestry that indicated where someone had driven nails into the wall, the remnants of stickers on the drawers of the desk. Somehow it gave him a warm feeling in his stomach as he let his fingers glide over the indents in the table top.

A knock on the door made Ashton’s head fly up, “Yes?”

“Morning!” chirpy smile in place, Luke popped his head into the room, “Breakfast’s ready, I thought I’d tell you before Michael has eaten all the scrambled eggs.”

“No way!” Ashton exclaimed dramatically, hurrying towards where Luke was standing, “my eggs!”

Luke followed him, laughing, as Ashton sprinted down the hallway and tripped down the stairs. He came to an abrupt halt when he reached the entrance of the kitchen, Luke tumbling into his back before, thoroughly unbothered, squeezing past him and making a beeline for the food laid out on the kitchen counter. Ashton was left standing on the threshhold, his eyes glued to the woman standing behind the kitchen island.

The first thing he noticed were her eyes, light and kind despite the fact that they were piercing. Her long blonde hair was tied back while she was flipping pancakes on the oven, the front of her apron covered in streaks of flour. Luke walked up to her, snatching a pancake right out of the air. Luke ditched the chiding slap with the spatula she aimed at him, beamed at her while he chewed. The woman let out a fond sigh while she stroked Luke’s fringe out of his eyes. A motherly gesture.  Ashton felt the echo in his chest. Security.

The woman perked up when she spotted Ashton frozen in the doorway, “Oh, hello there. Are you the new one Luke told me about?”

Ashton tried hard to make his mouth form coherent words, but failed. It was so off-putting, having this lovely, non-pubescent and so incredibly normal woman standing in the kitchen of a house full of werewolves.

“Uhm,” Ashton managed.

The woman’s smile didn’t falter when she turned to Michael, who was standing on her other side, “Is that him, Mikey?”

The purple-haired boy merely grunted, nodding while he shoved an entire egg on toast into his mouth.

The woman frowned at Michael, “Manners, Michael, I raised you better than that.”

“Sorry, mom,” the purple-haired boy retched out, incredibly not sorry and Ashton felt his jaw hit the floor.

Not Luke’s mother then, Michael’s. Somehow, the thought made him giggle. It was so absurd, having Michael, crude, reckless, feral upon pinched the wrong way Michael, bow to this his clad in a heart-patterned apron mother. Quickly, Ashton smothered the sound with his hand. Luke, the only one who had noticed, grinned at him.

The woman just rolled her eyes before turning back to Ashton, “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Ashton,” Ashton managed, his shock slowly but surely wearing off. Hastily, he shook himself out of it, “I’m Ashton.”

“Ashton,” the woman repeated, “I’m Karen. Here you go, honey.”

The woman smiled and handed Ashton a plate filled to the brim with eggs and toast. Tentatively, he took it. The smell made his mouth water.

“Smells heavenly, thank you!”

Karen laughed, “You’re welcome, I know how much teenage boys eat.”

“Mom,” Michael whined.

Ashton could sense his presence, even before Calum appeared behind him, effectively interrupting the conversation. Calum’s hand was cold when he slid it over Ashton’s shoulder as he walked by. Goosebumps erupted all over Ashton’s skin. Calum was clad in nothing but basketball shorts, his bare feet leaving damp traces on the wooden flooring. Calum had spent his morning as a wolf. More than that, it was the change in atmosphere that piqued Ashton’s attention.

“Anything?” Karen asked. The single word was inauspicious, hung heavy in the air.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton watched Calum shake his head, “Nothing.”

More than the echoes hitting his chest, it was the expression on Karen’s face that made Ashton’s gut sink in disappointment. Michael and Luke lowered their heads to their plate. Ashton hurried to do the same, pretended to be busy with his breakfast.

“Honey…” Karen tried but was cut off.

“I’ll be out,” Calum told the kitchen counter, then made a beeline for the door. His shoulders were squared, fists clenched by his sides. Ashton watched him walk out, then looked at the other ones.

“Michael,” Karen and Luke said at the same time.

“At it,” the purple-haired boy muttered. He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl before running after Calum. Ashton was left to stand in silence before Karen shook them all out of it.

“So, boys,” she smiled, “what do you think about going grocery shopping? I wrote a list with the things you need. Ashton, you can drive right?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Good. I am headed to meet some girlfriends for lunch, so I’m gonna get going. Have a good day, boys.”

Ashton couldn’t help but melt into the hug Karen pulled him into. It felt good, not having to be the one to provide consolation.

“C’mon,” Luke said once they were alone, the happy smile returning to his face, “we’re gonna take the Jeep.”

*

Ashton’s mouth fell open as soon as Luke had pushed open the gate of the barn. Inside were not only the Jeep Ashton was already familiar with, and a considerable amount of the chains Luke had told him about, but also…

“Luke, what the hell is that?” Ashton squinted at the humongous metal construction taking up the greater part of the room. There were pipes and vessels everywhere, measuring tools and a row of buttons attached to something that looked to be a control panel attached to one of the biggest cauldrons.

“Oh, we call it the distillery. That’s Mali’s baby, though, I wouldn’t go to close otherwise you get blasted.”

Ashton swallowed, “Blasted?”

Luke nodded seriously before taking his hand and leading him towards the construction, stopping them a good three metres away. “See this?”

Ashton followed Luke’s pointer finger. On the ground, there was an about thumb-thick line of… dirt?

“That’s anthora, or wolfsbane. It’s one of the few things that is harmful for us. Put into a closed circle, it’s impossible for any werewolf to pass.”

Ashton nodded, trying to process the information.

“The distillery produces a weakened form of anthora serum. Harmless to humans, but induced into any kind of liquid and given to werewolves it gets them-”

“Poisoned?”

“Drunk,” Luke laughed, “You wouldn’t believe what some people pay to have their bourbon actually affect them. It’s how we make our money. Alcoholic beverages for our kind.”

“Amazing,” Ashton giggled and Luke chimed in, “It is. Talk to Mali some time, she can tell you a whole lot more. Now we should get going, though, the store closes at two.”

Ashton nodded and walked back to the car. A slight tingle of excitement formed at the bottom of his stomach as he climbed into the driver’s seat of the Grand Cherokee. The car was nice, much nicer than any other car he had ever driven.

They spent the twenty minute drive into town jamming to the radio. Ashton was thankful the roads were almost deserted. He had a hard time focussing on the streets when Luke was next to him, belting along to Eminem’s Lose Yourself and gesturing wildly. Ashton was still bursting into fits of giggles by the time he steered onto the Whole Foods parking lot.

“Okay, game plan?” He asked once they had entered the shop, a seemingly endless amount of rows of shelves in front of them.

Luke retrieved two crinkled sticky notes from his pocket, “I take one and you the other?”

Ashton hummed as he took one of the slips from Luke. After having read through his, he looked up.

“Who makes it to the dessert section first gets to pick the ice cream,” Ashton declared.

A competitive grin appeared on Luke’s face, the happiness underneath bright, “Deal.”

“Ready?”

“Oh, I was born ready.”

Ashton snorted, “Set.”

Luke pretended to stretch.

“Go!”

Uttering an impressive war cry, Luke disappeared into the first row. Giggling like mad, Ashton pushing his shopping cart further into the shop before he took a sharp turn to the right. The first few items on his list were all vegetables. Once he had retrieved those from their baskets, he headed for the canned fruits aisle.

Ashton was reaching for a can full of pears when it happened. It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach, a cold hand seizing his heart and squeezing, pushing all the oxygen from his lungs. Ungracefully, Ashton tumbled backwards, taking a good handful of cans with him.

Uncaring of the dull throb in his bottom, Ashton scrambled to his feet. The echo had been strong, almost overwhelming. Its source had to be close. Luke.  

“Hey, you!” Panicked by the voice calling out for him, Ashton looked around. He calmed when he saw that the person approaching was just a shop clerk. The girl was barely a teenager, about fourteen.

“Are you alright, sir?” the shop clerk looked at him out of concerned grey eyes. Her unruly brown hair danced over her shoulder as she tilted her head to the side. Ashton jumped when she laid a hand onto his upper arm.

“Yes, sorry,”, he shook her off, trudging backwards, “sorry, I- I have to go, so sorry for this mess. Sorry, I swear I’ll make it up to you!”

With that Ashton spun around and sprinted down the aisle. He focussed on his sense of smell, the intense stench of vegetables and cheese almost making him retch, but that didn’t matter. It was easy to find Luke, his trace despite all the other smells the most prominent in the shop. Ashton attributed that to the whole pack thing.

A sigh of relief washed over him when he spotted the blond boy, unharmed, standing in front of a table full of persimmons. Ashton wanted to call out for him when he noticed the stone-cold expression on Luke’s face, so uncharacteristic for the younger boy that it made Ashton falter in his step. Carefully, he trudged closer. It was only when he stepped out of the aisle and onto Luke’s side that Ashton saw the reason for Luke’s decisively masked distress.

The two boys were standing on the other side of the persimmon table, their expressions, much like the rest of their features, an almost exact copy of Luke’s. The tension was thick in the air, loaded with an almost tangible charge. Ashton swallowed as he assessed their opponents. The two boys were older, both of them at least in their early twenties.

The first was sturdy, bulging heaps of muscles apparent underneath his black sweatshirt as he shifted, widening his stance. The second one was taller, more slender, but just as buff. Both their eyes, the same piercing cerulean blue, were transfixed on Luke, who stared back just as intensely.

Ashton caught himself holding his breath. Just when he thought he would have to suffocate, there was a shift in the atmosphere and then the taller one of the men let out a noise, miserable enough to pull at the strings of Ashton’s heart. It took him a second to realise that the taller one had said Luke’s name.

The echo was immediate. Ashton killed it off before it could unfold fully. The glimpse he caught was enough to make his heart race.

“No,” that was the sturdier of the men. Almost violently, he gripped the taller one by the collar, the gesture opposing his completely impassive face. “He’s dead, Jack. C’mon!”

And with that, the sturdier man dragged Jack out of the store.

Ashton looked after them until the automatic doors had slid close behind them. Then he turned towards Luke. The blond boy had lifted his face to the ceiling, the veins in his neck becoming prominent as he directed silent words to the ceiling. Ashton could see the younger boy’s chest convulse. In lack of a better idea, he did the only thing he knew how to help. Uttering gentle words of absolution, he pulled Luke’s body against him.

Luke let Ashton hug him for a good few seconds before he pulled away. Luke had crafted his expression into a mask of jauntiness. Ashton pretended not to notice the unfocussed state of Luke’s gaze.

“C’mon, Luke, let’s pay and go home, yeah?”

Luke smiled at him and nodded. Ashton smiled back, ignoring the echo of pure anguish that made his heart clench.


	10. state of grace

_state of grace [stait ov grais]_

_noun_

_1\. the state of one who is under seemingly divine influence_

_2\. the conception of grace developed alongside the conception of sin_

  


Luke clutched his hand on the way back. Ashton was thankful for the fact that the Jeep was an automatic and he didn’t have to let go of Luke’s hand to shift gears. He could tell the blond boy was anchoring himself.

The moment Ashton steered the Jeep onto the gravel way in front of the house, Luke was out of the car, sprinting in the direction of the woods. Ashton barely had time to kill the engine before he ran after the blond boy.

“Luke!” he called out, in vain. Ashton ducked to not be hit square in the face by the clothes Luke shed on the way. And then the blond boy was gone. Ashton merely caught a glimpse of the golden wolf before he disappeared into the woods.

Wheezing, Ashton let himself fall to his knees before rolling onto his back. His head was spinning, whether that came from the physical exhaustion or the echoes that were still hitting his chest in uneven intervals he didn’t know.

“Ashton!”

Ashton merely groaned when he heard the familiar voice calling out for him. He so was about to get skinned. In a vain attempt to save his life, he sat up, facing Michael with raised hands, “I swear I don’t know how it happened.”

“Ashton,” Michael interrupted him, crouching down to clasp his hands around Ashton’s temples. Ashton let out a confused grunt as Michael tilted his head around, scanning his neck and face for injuries. "Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I mean I’m fine, just dandy, but-”

“Oh thank god,” and like that Michael was in his space, hugging him tightly.

Ashton squeaked in surprise, “What?”

“We just felt an echo, we didn’t know what happened. We thought you got yourself killed or some shit and Luke was mourning you,” Michael told him, his voice rising in pitch with every word, “Calum went crazy, he ran the whole way into town.”

“Please, that’s absurd-- wait, got myself killed?” Ashton scowled, “What the heck is that supposed to mean?”

Michael laughed, the sound dying in his throat abruptly when another echo hit them. Ashton’s breath hitched with the intensity of it. All glee vanished from Michael’s eyes.

“Ashton,” Michael asked, his tone way too calm, “where is Luke?”

“Uhm,” Ashton swallowed when he saw Michael’s eyes light up.

“Ashton,” Michael’s voice dropped to a growl.

“We met these guys at the grocery store,” Ashton hurried to explain, “or rather Luke met them. It was crazy, they looked like him, or well they were older so technically Luke looked like them, but anyways they had this super intense staredown and then suddenly one of them was sobbing out Luke’s name and the other yelled at him for it before dragging him out of the store and-”

Ashton didn’t get any further as the next moment, Michael was scrambling to his feet.

“Tell Calum what you told me,” he bellowed, his legs already carrying him towards the edge of the woods.

“Okay!” Ashton yelled after him. He wasn’t sure Michael heard him. Deciding that he was powerless in this situation, Ashton pulled himself to his feet and slowly began to collect the clothes Luke and Michael had discarded on their way off the clearing. He left the pile of clothes on the edge of the woods, figuring that Michael and Luke would manage to find them when they came back.

With that, he turned towards the house. Ashton had made it about halfway across the clearing when he was tackled to the ground. The supernatural part of him knew that he was in no danger, the smell was too familiar, too _pack_ to set any alarm bells of in Ashton’s mind. The rational part of him screamed when he scrambled onto his back to be faced with a giant, black paw settling down on his chest, the appendant snout coming down to his neck.

Ashton flailed helplessly as he was buried underneath a good 300 pounds of wolf.

“Can’t breathe,” he pressed out, helplessly. A heartbeat later, the weight shifted, shrinked down to a normal body. It didn’t help Ashton’s case much as the next moment arms wrapped around Ashton’s middle, squeezing so tight it pressed the last bit of oxygen out of his lungs.

“Ashton,” Calum murmured into his neck. Ashton needed a moment to decipher the tone to his voice as relief.

“It’s me,” Ashton tried to keep his voice as calm and collected as possible while Calum nuzzled his neck, shoulder, and sternum. Ashton also tried not to pay too much thought that Calum was very naked very on top of him.  “I’m alive, totally unscathed, really.”

“Ashton,” Calum repeated as he lifted his head, a bright smile overtaking his features, “you’re fine.”

“I’m fine,” Ashton nodded frantically.

Calum’s eyes gleamed as he searched Ashton’s eyes. With a laugh, he rolled them over so Ashton was on top of him, then another time until they fell back into their original position. Just when Ashton was about the to protest, he was stunned into silence by Calum’s lips coming down to press against his. The kiss was short, nothing more than a quick, sloppy press of Calum’s plump lips against his, but it was enough to make Ashton give up on breathing altogether. Paralysed, he lied there, still trying to process what had just happened while Calum moved back to rub his face over his shoulder. If it weren’t for the prickling sensation on his lips, Ashton almost could have pretended it didn’t happen at all.

Eventually, Calum let go of him. With a soft smile, he sat up, offering Ashton a hand. Ashton knew that he probably looked ridiculous, with his rumpled hair and flushed cheeks and wide eyes he just didn’t seem to be able to close. He just hoped Calum didn’t notice.

“I am glad you are okay,” Calum told him as they walked towards the house, his usual calm manner returning, “I was worried. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Yeah,” Ashton had a hard time focussing. Calum’s face was so close to him, his bottom lip shiny from Ashton’s spit. Ashton bit his lip when Calum’s tongue swept over his mouth, moisturising his lips against the cold wind. Ashton shook himself out of it, though, when he noticed the way Calum looked at him, expectantly.

It had just been a kiss, a stupid peck on the mouth. Nothing more than an extension of the very tactile way Calum, all of them, treated him in the first place. People kissed each other all the time. If it was true what Michael had told him, Calum was just glad Ashton was unharmed.

Willing the butterflies in his stomach to die down, Ashton told Calum what he had told Michael about the incident. Calum’s expression became sourer the more Ashton talked. As soon as Ashton had finished, Calum nodded to himself, his gaze becoming distant as he looked onto the woods.

“Calum-”

“Do you want a sandwich?” Calum smiled at him as he turned back to Ashton, “I really feel like a tuna sandwich right now.”

“Uh, I mean-”

“Great!” grabbing Ashton’s hand, Calum pulled him into the house.

Ashton let it go. He knew that if Calum didn’t want to tell him what was going on, there was no chance in hell Ashton would get anything out of him. So Ashton kept his mouth shut as he sat himself down on one of the kitchen stools and watched Calum wipe out bread and condiments.

The raven-haired boy made easy conversation, talking about the songs playing on the small kitchen radio and the movies they had watched last night. It was easy, for Ashton to forget about everything taking place outside of the kitchen like this.

“Keep your Wednesday night free,” Calum told him as he sat down the platter full of food in the middle of the kitchen island.

“Okay,” Ashton sighed. Wednesday night was his shift to make dinner for his siblings. He’d have to work something out. Making the decision to deal with it later, Ashton grabbed one of the sandwiches, “why?”

“There are some people I have to present you to, as a new member of my pack. Right now, you’re an unauthorised bite. That makes you hunter’s prey and I’d rather not have you killed.”

Ashton choked on the bite of ham and cheese in his mouth, “Hunters?!”

Calum smiled at him, “We are monsters, Ashton. Of course, there’s a counterpart.” Calum’s eyes grew soft, “Don’t worry about it, though. We have an agreement with the local clan of hunters. It’s going to be fine.”

Against the swirling sensation of dread in his stomach, Ashton let himself trust Calum. Ashton knew that despite the fact that the other boy was young, Calum knew what he was doing as an alpha wolf.

“Okay,” Ashton nodded, swallowing the remnants of sandwich between his teeth, “okay, I trust you.”

The happy echo that hit his chest was enough to make him smile.

*

“Take off your clothes.”

Despite the fact that he had known this was about to happen, Ashton couldn’t help the blush that made his cheeks burn as he met Calum’s intent gaze.

“Do I have to?”

Calum raised an eyebrow at him, tilting his head lightly to the side. Ashton groaned and stripped out of his shirt, kicked off his shoes next. Stubbornly, he kept his gaze on the ground as he shed the rest of his clothes. He could feel the smug smile on the other boy’s face as Calum himself began pushing down the obligatory basketball shorts he was wearing.

“Go easy on him, Cal,” Mali remarked from her spot on the front porch steps. There was an abundance of bright purple and green tubes and instruments spread out next to her. Ashton didn’t even want to know. The whiff of something that smelled strongly like cinnamon steaming from one of the pots was enough to make his head go all woozy, even from his spot on the middle of the clearing.

Calum merely grinned at Mali, the type of fond yet murderous smile only a lifelong suffering as the little brother could produce, “Thanks, Mali.”

“Always, baby bro!”

The raven-haired boy directed a deep sigh towards the sky.

His expression became solemn when he looked back at Ashton, “The second time sucks a little less than the first time,” god, Ashton hoped so, “but it’s still going to hurt a lot because your body takes so long to shift. I’m with you the whole time, though, so try to focus on me. Ready?”

“No?” Ashton tried.

Calum smiled, then his eyes lit up. Ashton blinked against the yellowish tint overcasting his vision. He could feel his blood heat up, the pace with which it was pumped through his veins quickening. Ashton’s breathing became ragged.

“Don’t fight it!” Calum’s words came out muffled past his elongating canines, “Turn, Ashton! Turn for me!”

A scream ripped from Ashton’s throat as his legs yielded underneath him and he went down. The cracking of his bones accentuated the rapid waves of energy jumbling his cells. Looking down, Ashton saw swatches of fur sprouting over his arms and then a bolt of heat erupted at the bottom of his spine, shot up his neck and he threw his head back. The roar he uttered turned into a howl midway and Ashton shifted.


	11. imbue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today, I got super early to the train station, so I was like "cool, I'ma write" and long story short, I got so engrossed that I not only missed my train arriving, people exiting it and new people getting onto it before it took off without me, no I did all that whilst being on the wrong platform the whole time and this is the story how I fail at life, but at least we get some nice fic out of it, I hope. Enjoy!

  _imbue_

_verb, to imbue_

_1\. to inspire or influence thoroughly_

_2\. to soak, especially with moisture, dye, etc_

 

Ashton woke up on one of the sofas in the living room. Dawn was breaking outside of the windows so they must have been out for not more than an hour or two. A sticky feeling on his chest directed Ashton’s gaze downwards. There were small, oval electrode patches glued to his chest, no cables attached. Mali must have taken his vitals after Calum had brought him in. The skin around the patches was clear, as opposed to the rest of his body, that was covered in a thin layer of dirt. If he focussed, Ashton could hear Calum and Mali talking in the kitchen, his sister giving Calum instructions on how to cut up a pepper.

Ashton was about to sit up, when he heard commotion coming from the hallway. A second later, Michael and Luke strolled into the room, their voices raised.

“No way, I won!”

“Shut up, Luke, I clearly reached the handle before you. My hand was beneath yours.”

“Yeah, because you wedged it under mine after I had already gripped the handle. Admit it, Michael. I am faster than you.” The smugness in Luke’s voice nearly made Ashton grin.

“You think so, huh?” Michael growled , taking a step forward and into Luke’s personal space. Luke faltered, just the tiniest bit, but his chin raised, “Hell yeah.”

Growl intensifying, Michael raised his finger. Then he poked the blond boy in the cheek. A second later, they burst into fits of giggles. This time, Ashton did grin. It made him feel indefinitely better, knowing Luke was fine, happy again.

Eventually, Michael and Luke had calmed and Ashton watched Michael grab Luke’s hand, biting gently into the knuckle of Luke’s ring finger. Ashton could feel his eyebrows raise.

When Michael spoke, his words were not louder than a whisper, and so soft that Ashton wasn’t sure at first that it had been Michael who had said them, “You are everything to me, you know that?”

Ashton didn’t have to be able to see Luke’s face to know he was beaming. Ashton had known that the relationship between Luke and Michael was going far beyond any type of your average  friendship, even under pack measures. He hadn’t known they were together like that. The longer Ashton thought about it, the more sense it made, however. The doubled, overwhelming echo of adoration made Ashton’s heart swell. As soon as he saw Luke lean up, Ashton closed his eyes. That moment wasn’t for him to see.

Quickly, he relaxed his muscles and schooled his breathing into a deep rhythm. He was sure Michael and Luke had been too caught up in each other to notice him having witnessed their moment.

As soon as Luke and Michael had clambered off into the kitchen, receiving a sharp call from Mali to wash their hands before they would touch any of the yet to be cut vegetables, Ashton contemplated dozing for a little bit longer. The couch was comfortable, and his metabolism high enough to grant him instant sleep upon request.

His plans were destroyed however, when he felt fingertips brush over his forehead, the warm hand wrapping around his neck a second later.

“No,” Ashton whined, edging further into the couch, “sleep.”

The hand around his neck squeezed, its thumb rubbing the ticklish spot beneath his earlobe and Ashton squirmed.

Reluctantly and with an exaggerated groan, he pried his eyes open, “You are mean.”

Calum smiled at him, calm and collected as always, but with a hint of fond in his eyes that Ashton savoured more than was probably healthy. “Do you want to stay for dinner? Mali’s making a stir-fry.”

Ashton hummed and closed his eyes, pretended to contemplate the question. A triumphant giggle escaped his lips when he managed to grab Calum’s arm blindly and pull the other boy onto the couch. Calum wheezed out a surprised laugh, but before Calum could wriggle himself out of his grasp, Ashton threw a leg over the other boy’s thighs.

“I can’t stay for dinner but I’d like some quality time with my alpha,” Ashton told the left of Calum’s collarbones that was pressed against his face.

Calum didn’t answer, didn’t move at all for a couple of seconds. Ashton was about to get worried, wondered whether he had said something wrong, but then Calum wrapped an arm around Ashton’s waist and buried his nose in Ashton’s hair. With a content sigh, Ashton pressed his face deeper into Calum’s neck. He could hear the other boy’s heartbeat thump against his ear, steady and just a fraction faster than that of an average person. Ashton smiled. They matched.

*

When Ashton got home, he found his mother’s car gone and his siblings asleep on the couch. After he had carried both of them into their respective beds, he trudged into his room and slumped down at his desk. Having spent the majority of his weekend at Calum’s house, there was now a pile of homework left, the sheer size of it making Ashton want to give up and just go to bed. He didn’t, however. Apart from all the things complicating his life at the moment, he didn’t want to add failing grades to the list. Suppressing a yawn, Ashton flicked on the desktop light his mother had bought when he had been seven and grabbed the first book.

*

Ashton could smell that he was in trouble, even before he felt Greg Perkins’ disgusting egg and ham breath in his neck. A moment later, the boy’s fleshy hand clamped down Ashton’s shoulder and Ashton was spun around. A low wince escaped him as his head hit the door of his gym locker, hard. Ashton made a mental note to just not shower anymore after gym class. It never seemed to end well for him.

“Hey, Ashton.”

Ashton tried hard not to retch. “What’s up, Greg?” he forced out, the smile he forced onto his face ending in a grimace.

“That’s an excellent question.”

Like that, Greg let him go and Carter Stevens wedged himself into his vision. Ashton had waited for that. As huge and bulky as Greg was, he also possessed the estimated intelligence of a breadloaf. He only acted upon being told so, being told by Carter, more precisely.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could see the third in the round, Kyrill Petrov, lean against the wall next to the door. Ashton didn’t know if Kyrill was intelligent or not. Having transferred to their town last year, Ashton hadn’t seen much of him so far. Ashton was at least ninety percent sure the Bulgarian didn’t know the first word of English, however, as he never talked. Not that he needed to. Kyrill followed Carter like a silent, brawny shadow. No conversation needed.

Carter moved into Ashton’s space, bracing his elbow against the metal behind Ashton. He pressed his arm horizontally against Ashton’s neck, just enough to make Ashton uncomfortable. Carter was a mastermind at this, a true psychopath. Not that anyone would ever accuse him of being such. Regarding his outward appearance, Carter couldn’t have looked more like a nerd, with his lanky figure, thin-rimmed glasses, cropped hair and suspenders. No one dared to look deeper, see the sick mind underneath.

Ashton had been victim to Carter and his gorillas since sophomore year. At first he had tried to fight it, then eventually when he had realised that he couldn’t win, Ashton had worked hard on becoming invisible. And it had worked. Carter had let off of him, during the past few months. An achievement that was apparently lost now.

Ashton wasn’t really bothered by it all that much. He had bigger problems. The quickly increasing pace of his heartbeat for example. He was bigger than his body now. He was certainly bigger than his bullies. For a moment, he entertained the thought. It was tempting, imagining how he would rip the intestines right out of Greg’s stomach, strangle Carter with them, seeing him defenseless. Seeing him scared with no ability to breathe, begging for his life. Ashton fought to keep his composure. As much as he wanted to let the ferocity prickling in his veins take over, he was not allowed to. No one could know. No one.

“A really excellent question,” Carter mused, “Zimmer announced the results of the Cooper test today, did you listen?”

Ashton couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face. He hadn’t listened, not until Coach Zimmer had barked out his name and pressed a gold medal into his hand. Looking back at it, Ashton should have known that Carter wouldn’t let him get away with that unscathed. Carter had been top spot on that list since his freshman year. He was the school’s track and field star and Ashton had rained on his parade. And damn had it felt good. Maybe it was the animal that had become a part of him, maybe it were just four years of suppressed rage, but in the end it didn’t matter.   
Ashton widened his grin, practically beamed at the other boy, “Yeah, I did. What place did you come in again? Second, right?” Ashton shrugged against the arm Carter had still draped over his neck, “Better luck next time.”

The slap made his head turn, the sting of it leaving a burning sensation on Ashton’s already singeing skin. He knew then, that he had went too far. Ashton barely managed to close his eyes before the familiar yellowish tint overcasted his vision and he felt his blood boil. Control, he needed control.

“I don’t know how you did that sprint the other day,” Carter hissed into his face. Ashton pressed his eyes further shut, “but the next time you think about pulling shit like that, know that if you do, I’ll break your fucking legs, are we clear?”

Ashton’s mind was spinning. He needed control. “Efferitas exeat.”

“What?” Carter was squinting at him, his eyebrows knitted up in confusion.

He repeated the phrase a couple of times in his head. Slowly, his blood cooled and the sensation against his eyelids vanished. Carefully, he pried his eyes open.

“Crystal clear,” Ashton managed.

An appalled smile appeared on Carter’s face, “Good.”

With an elbow to Ashton’s stomach that made Ashton splutter and a muttered “freak”, Carter walked off. Greg and Kyrill both shot him a glare, Kyrill silently with his light eyes boring right into Ashton’s brain and Greg with a grunted “loser”. Then the two of them followed Carter out of the changing rooms.

Ashton let himself fall onto the bench separating his row of lockers from the next one. He had just managed to school his breathing back when he felt a familiar presence nearing. Hastily, Ashton ruffled his hair back into place, made sure none of his clothes were showing any indication of him having gotten slammed against the lockers.

Ashton couldn’t tell Michael about what had happened. Michael would freak out if he knew Ashton had gambled with his control like that and even worse, he would tell Calum. Calum, who had explicitly told Ashton not to act upon his new abilities.

“Ashton?” Michael’s voice appeared a few locker rows down a moment later.

“Here!” Ashton chirped, plastering an unbothered smile on his face as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Michael appeared at the end of his row a second later, his gaze flicking around in search of danger. He deflated when he saw there was none.

“What’s up?” Ashton asked him, innocently.

Michael furrowed his brows, “I felt your echo, you were distressed. What happened?”

Ashton raised his brows in faux-surprise, “Nothing.”

Michael squinted at him. Hastily, Ashton began to rub the back of his neck, plastered a sheepish grin onto his face, “I mean I struggled for a second, dunno where that came from. I got it under control, though, with the anti-wolf mantra and all. I’m all good.”

Michael examined him closely, his eyes narrowing for a second before his expression smoothed out and he nodded, “Alright,” and after a second, “I’m proud of you. You’re getting better at this. Soon you’ll be able to trigger and suppress the shift completely,” Michael grinned earnestly, “and before we know it, you’re conscious when you’re a wolf.”

Ashton beamed at his shoes. He had noticed the progression but it was even nicer to hear it, “Thanks.”

“Alright, enough with the sappy shit,” Michael rolled his eyes, punching Ashton in the shoulder, “hurry up now. My mom’s coming over to make dinner and we have to help her.”

Ashton saluted, before he followed Michael out of the locker rooms.


	12. priority

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two weeks of winter break *sniffles and looks at the sky* "Thanks Jesus for taking one for the team and dying at such a convenient time of the year!"

_priority_

_noun, plural priorities_

_1\. precedence, especially established by order of importance or emergency_

_2\. a preceding or coming earlier in time_

_3\. something afforded or deserving prior attention_

 

Ashton was sitting on his bed, his History book and an almost empty bag of gummy bears sprawled out on the duvet in front of him, when the twig hit his window. Because of the storm going on outside leaves and branches had been hitting his window continuously for the greater part of the Tuesday night. So Ashton wouldn’t even have budged, if it hadn’t been for the warm feeling spreading through his body a moment later, the light prickling in the back of his neck that told him he wasn’t alone anymore.  

Frowning against the rain that hit him in the face once he had pushed the window open, Ashton popped his head outside and searched his backyard for any sign of pack member. He was rewarded with the unmistakable glow of a pair of golden eyes in the dark and a short warning to step back. Ashton barely managed to retreat back into his room before there was something dark and misshapen flying through his window. A second later, the thing that turned out to be a duffel bag was followed by yet another dark and misshapen something, this time unfolding itself into his quite well-shaped alpha.

“You could have texted me, you know,” Ashton mumbled, directing his eyes everywhere but Calum’s soaked, naked upper body. “I could have opened the front door?”

“Hi,” Calum just grinned at him, crouching down to hoist the duffel bag off the floor, “I brought you something.”

“You unpack that, I’m going to get you a towel.”

Ashton tried hard not to smile when the grateful and thoroughly unbothered echo hit his chest. He failed. By the time he returned to his room, Calum had put on a hoodie and long sweats. Ashton handed Calum the towel and received a thankful smile in return. Whilst Calum began drying his hair and face, Ashton inspected the heap of fabric now taking up the greater part of his bed.

“What is all of this?”

“Clothes,” Calum answered, stating the obvious. “My clothes for you.”

Ashton scrunched up his nose. He couldn’t quite keep the indignation out of his voice as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, “I do have clothes, thank you. I get that this whole pack thing makes you want to care for me, or whatever, but this is honestly crossing the line a bit. I mean I get it my family isn’t-- we don’t have much money, but this?”

“Ashton,” Calum interrupted him, calm as always. The raven-haired boy searched his eyes for a moment, then he frowned, “what are you talking about?”

Ashton raised an eyebrow at the other boy, “Your charity donation here?”

“Charity..” Calum’s eyes widened in realisation, “... oh. Oh, no! That’s not what this is about!”

Ashton caught his bottom lip between his teeth, “What is it then?”

“I need you to wear this,” Calum said and pulled one of the shirts out of the pile before turning towards Ashton, bumping the fabric against the older boy’s chest. When Ashton didn’t move, Calum sighed and placed the shirt back on the bed before he short-handedly gripped the hem of the longsleeve Ashton was currently wearing and pulled it up. Ashton felt like a child, the way he had to lift his arms so Calum could get the shirt over his head and off. Ashton ignored the way Calum’s fingers gliding up his torso made goosebumps erupt all over his arms.

“It’s my sleep shirt, so the fabric is basically imbued with my smell. There will be other alphas at the council tomorrow and because we’re going alone I don’t want any of them to get funny ideas.”

Ashton swallowed. A part of him wanted to ask about those funny ideas. The other really, really didn’t want to know.

“Why are we going alone?”

“Michael is… not on good terms with someone whose approval we need.”

Ashton wasn’t all that surprised, really.

“And Michael wouldn’t let Luke go alone, so it’s the two of us.” Something about the way Calum spoke the sentence tipped Ashton off. It took him a moment to realise that Calum wasn’t telling the truth. Not completely. There was something more to the story, something Calum wasn’t telling Ashton for a reason. Ashton merely got the light version of the truth. He decided to take it.

“What about your sister?”

“Oh, Mali’s not a wolf. I mean, technically she should be. She has the gene and all, but she never turned. Only I did.”

Ashton nodded, processed the information, “So you are a born werewolf, then?”

“Yeah,” Calum’s gaze became distant for a moment before he turned back to Ashton, a glint of pride in his eyes, “a born alpha to be precise.”

The way Calum said it made clear that that had to be something special.

Ashton took a step back, cowered lightly, “My alpha.”

Calum grinned and before Ashton knew it, he was tackled onto the heap of Calum’s clothes. Ashton groaned as his head hit the duvet. Calum’s knee had hit him meanly in the crotch. To his surprise, Calum’s body went rigid on top of him. A second later, Ashton’s face was tilted up to look at the other boy.

“Ashton?” Calum asked, quietly, eyes wide with something that Ashton needed a moment to decipher as fear.

“Yeah?” Ashton asked back, just as quietly.

“You don’t mind it when I-- when we cuddle you? Because if it makes you uncomfortable, then we would stop. Pack cuddles are kind of like a bonding thing, but it would work as well if we were just around you, we don’t have to touch if you don’t like it. I would never force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with, you know?”

The concern, no the fear that he had upset Ashton was so blatantly clear in Calum’s words, in his eyes, that it left Ashton speechless.

Eventually, Ashton remembered how to form words, “It’s fine,” he smiled earnestly, “I like it, actually. It feels nice, like I’m-- like I belong to you. It’s a good feeling.”

Calum’s features softened and with a content puff of air, he dumped his head back down onto Ashton’s shoulder. A couple of seconds later, Calum began nuzzling Ashton’s neck, like he had the first time back when Calum and Michael had surprised Ashton in the locker room.

“Let me guess, more alpha scent rubbing?”

“Yep,” Calum mused against his temple.

“Great, okay, lemme just grab my History book;” Ashton wriggled around until he was leaning against the headboard, “Gummy bears?”

Calum took the bag with a happy sigh, shaking it until the last of candy had fallen into his palm. Then he sorted them by colour. Not that Ashton watched him do that. He was focussed on his homework, totally indulged in the assassination of the last tsar of Russia and his family.

Once Calum had distributed all the gummy bears into their colour-coordinated heaps, he began shoving them into his mouth, heap by heap, the yellow ones first.

“Red, really? You saved yourself the red ones for last? You are so mainstream, Calum.”

The other boy frowned as he chewed, the accumulation of candy in his mouth prohibiting him from speaking, “Huh?”

“You ate the red ones last so you obviously like them best. Which is just so what everyone does. I am disappointed in you.”

Calum’s expression turned into one of mock-offense once he had caught onto Ashton’s game, “Oh, sorry,” the raven-haired boy swallowed obscenely, “I didn’t know you were a gummy bear snob. Tell me, mighty Ashton, what is the best flavour then if it’s not the red ones?”

Ashton huffed, “White, obviously.”

“White?” Calum’s eyes bulged, “Blasphemy!”

“Do you call yourself a god?”

“Oh shut it, just because I refuse to be your hipster alpha.”

Ashton snorted, then returned to his book. Calum played with the remnants of the gummy bear package for a while, before he threw it away and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Ashton ignored the atrociously happy melody of the Jump and Run Calum was playing, while he tried hard to stay engrossed in his book. By the time Ashton had made it to the end of the chapter, the tune was stuck in his head.

He shut his book and placed it on the bedside table. Calum was looking at him expectantly when Ashton turned back to face him, “I’m hungry. Do you want some dinner?”

Calum’s mouth twitched upwards. “If you don’t mind.”  

Ashton rolled his eyes and rolled himself off the bed, “C’mon. I’m pretty sure we still have some casserole left.”

High-pitched cartoon voices greeted them as they stepped into the hallway. The lights of the TV flashing through the open living room door illuminated their way down the stairs. As soon as they had made it into the kitchen, Ashton flicked on the lights and turned towards the fridge. He could feel Calum watch him as he retrieved the tinfoil covered leftovers and put a plate of the casserole into the microwave.

Ashton fought with the ancient buttons for a minute, so he didn’t notice that they had gotten company at first. It was only when he heard his little sister giggle that he spun around and spotted her sitting at the kitchen table, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration as she painted the pointer finger of Calum’s hand black. Calum, who had taken the seat opposite of her, was watching her apply the nail polish with interest. Ashton was about to protest, tell Lauren off, when Calum looked up at him, shooting him an unbothered smile and a wink.

Speechless, Ashton watched his little sister manicure the alpha wolf’s fingers. Once she was done with his right, Calum spread his left hand out for her to paint that one as well. Ashton was startled by the ding of the microwave, indicating that their food was heated up.

“Done,” Lauren announced when Ashton turned back around. Her eyes were glued to Calum, “Do you like it?”

“I love it. It looks great,” Calum waved his hands through the air in an attempt to get it to dry faster, “Your sister is talented, Ash.”

“Yeah, she is,” Ashton smiled and set their plates down on the table, “why don’t you go check on your brother, Lauren?”

The ten year-old pouted at him, but moved to climb off of her chair nonetheless.

“You can paint mine next time, promise,” Ashton whispered into her ear before sending her off with a light clap on the butt. The light giggle she let out reassured him that they were good.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t have to let her do this. You could have just told her off.”

Calum shrugged, the usual calm smile playing on his lips, “It’s fine, I didn’t mind at all. I quite like it, actually.”

Calum went to admire his nails before turning his hands for Ashton to inspect. Ashton examined them closely. The nails were painted impeccably, not a single smudge of black was over the edge.

“Wow,” Ashton admitted.

“Told you she’s talented,” Calum grinned.

Ashton rolled his eyes, “Eat your casserole, Calum.”

“You too, Ash.”

Ignoring the slight fluttering of his stomach, Ashton pushed the sleeves of Calum’s shirt up his wrists and dug into his food.


	13. covenant (I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry xmas/happy winter days!

_covenant_

_noun, plural covenants_

_1\. a binding agreement_

_2\. a compact, commonly between two or more parties, to do or refrain from doing something specified_

 

As promised, Calum was alone in the car when Ashton climbed into the passenger seat of the Jeep on Wednesday night. The moment Ashton had buckled his seatbelt, Calum touched his face, not much more than the feather-light press of fingertips against Ashton’s cheek.

“How do you feel?” Calum asked him as he pulled away from the curb. Calum’s voice was calm, collected as always.

Ashton bit his lip. He had been doing that the whole day, had chewed on the inside of his mouth until he had bitten it raw. Even now he tasted iron as he sucked his cheek into his mouth, “Nervous.”

“It will be alright,” Calum reassured him. His normally coffee-coloured eyes seemed black in the low light. “It’s nothing more than a formality.”

Ashton exhaled and released his bottom lip from between his teeth when the brown boy took his hand. It would be alright. If Calum said so, Ashton believed that.

The ride lasted nearly half an hour. Occasionally, one of them would hum along to whatever bop was playing on the radio, but apart from that, they drove in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Ashton occupied himself by watching the night swoosh by the side window. He noticed the houses that they passed getting bigger and nicer the longer they drove. Eventually, Calum pulled up to a house that Ashton could only describe as a mansion. The building was three stories high, weathered grey stone and impeccably clean white windows telling Ashton everything he had to know.

“The lions are a bit much,” Ashton couldn’t help but remark as they surpassed the electronic iron gate guarding the property. On top of the lithic gateposts, two brass lions were roaring at anyone who dared to pass through the gate. Calum next to him chuckled. He took Ashton’s hand once they had climbed out of the car, squeezed it before he lead the older boy to the entrance of the mansion.

The door opened, even before Calum had raised his hand to knock. Ashton almost expected some kind of butler to open the door. Still Ashton’s breath caught in his throat when he recognised the man who was welcoming them.

“Calum,” the blond man said, tilting his head in greeting.

“Jack,” Calum gave back, just as politely, “This is my new beta Ashton. Ashton, this is Jack Hemmings.”

“We met already,” Ashton blurted.

Jack tilted his head to look at him, cerulean eyes scrutinising every inch of Ashton’s face before a spark of recognition flashed over his eyes, followed by pain. A second later, all emotion vanished from Jack’s face, disappeared behind a carefully crafted mask of disinterest.

“Follow me,” the blond man said and stepped aside. "They are already waiting for you.”

The inside of the mansion was exactly the way Ashton had expected it to be. There were dark marble floors that turned into parquet once they had climbed the flashy wooden stairs of the entrance hall up to the second floor. The halls were wide enough that they would have been able to let a car pass through and the dark red walls were adorned with a seemingly endless amount of oil paintings, which had to be worth more than Ashton’s house. Ashton wasn’t disconcerned by the fact that most of them were showing scenes of blonde, blue-eyed people slaughtering rabid looking wolves. Calum had told him it would be alright. Ashton silently repeated their mantra in his head.

Jack lead them through a labyrinth of hallways and stairs before they eventually came to a halt in front of a heavy, double-winged door. The blond man hesitated, only for the fraction of a second as he laid a hand on the handle of the door. Then he exhaled, almost ragged. With a sharp jerk of his head, Jack turned his head towards Calum.

“Is he good?”

The words came out rushed, as if Jack was pressing them out fast enough so that he couldn’t take them back. Ashton watched Calum’s eyebrows rise, the brown boy’s lips falling ajar before Calum pressed them into a tight line. He nodded and with another sharp jerk of his head, Jack pushed the door open, leading them into the room behind it.

It was a library. Ashton didn’t need to count to know that accumulated in this room were more books than his school’s library held. The door had lead them onto a gallery, looking down at the main area of the room. Ashton thought that the scene beneath them could have served for the cover of a Better Living magazine.

There were four people scattered across the room. Ashton noticed the child first. The little girl couldn’t be much older than six, or seven. She was perched on what Ashton supposed to be her mother’s lap. Their eyes met, her black irides flashing golden against his for only the fraction of a second. The girl grinned at him, baring her tiny, sharp fangs and Ashton looked away, quickly. Out of instinct, Ashton used his next step to swerve closer to Calum.

“Shun and her daughter Liling,” Calum informed him once he had followed Ashton’s line of sight. “Shun is the alpha of the pack in Saint’s.”

Ashton nodded and mentally sorted them to the side. He could tell by the way Calum talked about the woman that he didn’t have to worry about her.

Quickly, Ashton assessed the remaining two people. It were a man and a woman. Both of them had to be at least three times his age. The man was standing in the far corner of the room, his light eyes following them as they descended the spiral staircase. His features were caucasian, cropped brown hair divided into a middle part that reminded Ashton of Brendon Fraser in The Mummy. Ashton and the others had watched that movie on Monday night, after Ashton’s third successful shift. As Ashton got closer, he was overwhelmed with the smell of citrus and sandalwood. It was like the man was oozing incense that laid itself over every available surface, clogged the air around him. Ashton tried hard to breathe past the stench.

The blue eyes and long blonde hair told Ashton everything he had to know about the remaining woman. She stood up upon their arrival, positioning herself in the middle of the room. 

“I assume this is your unauthorised bite?” the woman asked Calum, who nodded. Her tone was impassive, clinical like the rest of her demeanor. Ashton noticed that the woman had foregone any kind of greeting. Not that Ashton would have expected one. The woman spoke with authority. This was her house.

“Mh,” the woman hummed, her cerulean eyes examining Ashton from top to bottom before she turned back to Calum, “how old is he?”

“Three weeks.”

“Any incidents?”

“None,” Calum said, a hint of pride in his voice at which the woman raised a single eyebrow.

“Step forward, beta,” she commanded Ashton. Ashton looked at Calum, who nodded, nothing more than the slight tilt of his head. So Ashton stumbled forward.

In the middle of the floor, the parquet was replaced by a panelled mosaic. It showed the sun and the moon, panelled with light wood, while the night sky was represented by a dark cherry wood, interspersed with fourpointed light-wood stars. The lower tip of the crescent moon made up the centre of the circle, and with that the centre of the room. Ashton stepped upon it. He was hyperaware of every single pair of eyes looking at him.

A few seconds passed, then the woman took a step forward and curled her fingers around his chin, tilting his head from side to side. Ashton was grateful that he was used to people invading his space in that way by now.

“How old are you in human years, beta?”

Ashton blinked, needed a moment to comprehend the question. The woman smelled like soap, gunpowder and something oddly familiar that Ashton couldn’t place.

“Seventeen,” Ashton said, firmly. He felt like a child at the principal’s office.

The woman met his eyes, searched them for a moment, then she let him go. Ashton was about to exhale, relax as she turned away from him, but then a sharp, stinging pain set his cheek ablaze and he cried out.

Ashton needed a moment to realise what had happened. His eyes went wide as he saw the small, curved switchblade disappear back into the woman’s sleeve. Breathing heavily, Ashton lifted a hand to his cheek. It was getting damper by the second. The stench of iron nearly made him retch and like that his senses slipped into overdrive.

Heart pounding against his ribcage, Ashton gritted his teeth as yellowish fog laid itself over his vision and his knees bent into a wider stance. The blood oozing from the cut on his cheek reached his mouth and now he could taste the iron. The realisation made the back of his head prickle, and his blood heat up. He wanted to rip the woman apart, dig his teeth into her neck and rip her windpipe out. That was when the echo hit his chest. Calm.

Ashton spun around. His eyes found Calum’s instinctively. Calum was staring at him blankly, his gaze burning with calm intensity. Another echo hit Ashton’s chest. A warning. And then he understood. _Oh._

Fighting against the prickling energy at the bottom of his spine, begging for its release, Ashton focussed on cooling his blood off. This was a test. They were testing him. A quick glance around assured him in his theory. Shun was standing now, shielding her daughter from his view. The man with the light eyes was watching him with a twitch of his mouth, as if he was trying to contain a grin while Jack and the woman were surveying his every moment. Jack’s hand was now resting on the holster that was fixed around his upper right leg.

Ashton closed his eyes and rightened his back. Then forced his muscles to relax. _Efferitas exea_ _t_ , he chanted in his mind, over and over. A feeling of triumph made his lips curl upwards as he felt his heartbeat slow down. Once Ashton was sure he had gained back complete control over himself, he let his eyes flutter back open. The cut on his cheek has closed up. Ashton wiped over his cheek with the sleeve of his shirt as best as he could, a slight frown appearing on his face as he saw the fabric was imbued with red.

Ashton turned towards the woman, “I think you owe my alpha a new shirt.”

Boisterous laughter filled the room a second later. Ashton needed a moment to figure out that it was the man with the light eyes who was laughing.

“Fantastic,” the man spoke. His words were deterred by a thick accent, his voice made for a harsher, more melodic language than English, something Eastern European. The man’s eyes gleamed with joy as he took a step forward.

“Thank you for your contribution, Aleko,” the woman announced, effectively causing the joy to vanish from the other man’s eyes. They looked each other in the eye for a moment. Then, decisively unimpressed, the woman turned towards Calum, “Your beta has passed his test.” Ashton couldn’t help but grin. The woman shot him a stern look before continuing. An almost final sigh left her lips, “We have no objections, “addressing the whole room, she added, “The council authorises this bite. Alpha Lam?”

Shun smiled at Ashton as she perked up, “The council authorises this bite.”

Ashton felt like he needed to thank her, so he lowered his head in gratitude.

“Alpha Petrov?”

“The council authorises this bite,” the man repeated, lips curled into a grin that Ashton would have called boyish if it weren’t for the fact that the man was about fourty.

The blonde woman turned towards Calum,  “Alpha Hood, do you claim this beta as yours?”

“I claim him.”

It took Ashton a moment to realise that it wasn’t Calum who had uttered the words. His blood froze as he looked up, met the piercing light eyes that were already fixed on him. Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could see Calum move and then the brown boy was taking a stance in front of him.

Calum’s voice was not feigning any false hospitality as he growled at the other alpha, “You can’t claim him, he’s mine.”

The man smiled, his eyes not leaving Ashton’s as he spoke, “Oh, but I have a right to him. I bit him first.”


	14. covenant (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two, [song two.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZsm_DJzj2Q) As a quick guide: "kutre" means "puppy" in Bulgarian, and "momčence" is the belittled version of "boy", so "little boy". 
> 
> Disclaimer: Boys showing other boys who their alpha is, heh. 
> 
> Enjoy! xx

Ashton shifted his weight, causing the leather beneath him to produce a creaking sound. Liling, who was perched on the sofa next to him, used the opportunity to move as well, scoot closer to him. She had done that repeatedly over the last half an hour, had managed to wander from her original position at the far end of the sofa to the middle of it, almost in touching distance of Ashton. Ashton bit his lip. Amongst all the other things happening right now, the child’s incessant staring started to freak him out.

Jack Hemmings, who was standing at the opposite side of the room, was effectively ignoring them. His back was leaned against the frame of the heavy wooden door that Calum, the hunter woman and the other two alphas had disappeared behind. The blond man was playing with a butterfly knife, twirling and throwing the blade through the air before catching it with ease and letting it dance over his fingers. Ashton felt nauseous by watching him alone.

It was a muffled crash, followed by a roar that made Ashton jump to his feet. A second later, he found himself at gunpoint.

“Stay where you are, beta,” Jack hissed at him.

Hastily, Ashton raised his hands and sat back down. He’d rather not die at the hands of a hunter tonight. Jack narrowed his eyes at him, then he turned and opened the door. Before Ashton could catch a glimpse inside, Jack had disappeared into the room and pulled the door shut behind him.

Ashton blinked, then he turned his head to the side and down, “Do you like phone games?”

Liling gaped at him, startled by Ashton actually addressing her. After a moment of hesitation, the six year-old nodded. Smiling, Ashton pulled his phone out of his back pocket. He opened a game of Subway Surfer before handing the phone to the girl, “See if you can beat my record.”

Liling let out a happy noise and began to swipe her thumb over the screen, small cries of victory escaping her mouth as she collected coins.

Ashton waited until he was sure the girl was fully engrossed into the game before he scrambled to his feet and tiptoed the way over to the door. Carefully, he pressed his ear against the carved wood. Ashton closed his eyes to be able to focus better. A heartbeat later, he could hear.

“I’ve had enough of this,” a shiver ran down Ashton’s spine at Aleko’s words. “The law says that I have a right to him. My teeth went into his flesh first. By council right, he’s mine.”

“You hunted him _for fun,_ ” Calum’s voice was calm, but Ashton could feel the echo of confined, blind rage clawing at Calum’s insides, “Your bite took place on my territory. If my betas wouldn’t have stopped you, you would have killed him and then moved on, probably leave me to dispose of the body. You don’t want more betas, Aleko, you just want him because I lay claim to him. The beta is part of my pack. I turned him. He belongs to me.”

“Momčence,” the other alpha’s words were dripping with venom as his voice dropped low, “you can’t even find her. How are you going to train your new beta if you can’t even find your own. She might as well be rotting somewhere, because you are not searching hard enough.”

Ashton felt like someone had gripped his heart with an ice-cold hand and was squeezing. He could hear Calum growl at the other side of the door.

“Alpha Petrov, you are digressing,” that was the huntress speaking, “Bring forth your cases in a final statement. Then the council will decide.”

“The beta is mine,” Ashton could hear Calum say, “I found him in my territory. He was bleeding out. Without me he would have died.”  

“Right,” the other alpha sneered, “isn’t that what you said the last time, kutre?”

“Enough!” Ashton flinched back, even though the huntress’s reprimand wasn’t directed at him. He could tell, even without being in the room, that some kind of invisible line had been crossed. “Your pledge, Alpha Petrov, now.”

“Alpha Hood can’t prove that I didn’t want to turn the boy. He was my prey, and then his betas chased me off to enable the kutre to steal the beta from me. It's-”

“Step back.”

Ashton flinched, his heart nearly leaping into his throat as he felt the sharp point of what he supposed to be an arrow tip press against the back of his neck. Hastily, Ashton blinked the yellowish tint out of his eyes. He didn’t want to give the hunter any more reason to release the arrow.

“I’m sorry,” he hurried to press out. “Please, don’t kill me.”

A snort, and then the metal was lifted from his neck. Slowly, Ashton turned around. It took him a moment to realise that he knew the man at the other end of what turned out to be a crossbow. The other man they had encountered at the grocery store.

Under the man’s stern, cerulean gaze Ashton hurried back to the sofa. Once Ashton had sat down, the man shouldered his crossbow and assumed the very same position Jack had abandoned when he had disappeared into the next room.

A second later, the heavy wooden door swung open. The first to emerge was Shun. The Asian woman seemed thoroughly bored as she walked over to the sofa and picked up her daughter. She smiled at Ashton, a gesture that made the knot in his stomach loosen just the tiniest bit. Liling dropped Ashton’s phone into his lap before she began waving as her mother carried her up the spiral staircase. Ashton waved back, then turned back towards the now open door.

The next to emerge was Aleko. A few strands of his hair had gone astray and were now falling into his forehead. It weirdly emphasised the feral glint in his eyes.

“Don’t get too comfortable, beta,” the alpha snarled at him, then he was gone.

Ashton allowed himself a couple of seconds to shake the terror from his bones, then he jumped up. He slowed down a considerable amount when he saw the way the hunter whose name he didn’t know yet was watching him. A moment later, Calum appeared in the door frame. Ashton’s stomach sank as he watched Calum’s eyes meet his for only the fraction of a second, the alpha’s irides pitch black in the low light. Then Calum averted his gaze, effectively making the words in Ashton’s throat die.

Like that, Calum was making a beeline for the spiral staircase. Ashton hurried after him. It wasn’t until they were out of the mansion, Calum striding down the gravel way, that Ashton tried to speak up, “Calum.”

The brown boy ignored him. Ashton sucked his bottom lip inside his mouth and began to chew. He tasted iron by the time he had climbed into the passenger seat. Ashton hadn’t closed his door fully when Calum was firing up the engine and pulling away from the mansion.

Forcefully, Ashton was hurled back into his seat, the door falling shut on his own accord. Calum didn’t even seem to notice. His eyes stayed glued to the streets as he kept shifting gears, accelerating. The echoes that hit Ashton’s chest took his breath away. Even in its weakened form the pure, pent up rage that resonated within his chest made Ashton’s jaw clench. His heart was pounding against his rib cage.

“Calum!” Ashton called out once he saw the needle of the speedometer pass the seventy mark. They were twice above speed limit. Ashton’s voice seemed to do the trick, though and shake Calum out of his stupor. Calum hit the brakes, hard and Ashton’s body was hurled forward. He wheezed as the seatbelt ricocheted him back into his seat. Before Ashton knew it, Calum had steered the Jeep onto the side of the street, killed the engine and was out of the car. Cursing, Ashton fumbled to unbuckle his seatbelt and followed him.

The night’s air was cold, stinging like a whip on his skin as he ran after Calum’s figure, a dark silhouette moving through the night. They were in the middle of nowhere, nothing but a slim stretch of green alongside the road before the forest began. Ashton counted that as a plus.

“Calum, fucking-- Calum!” Ashton slithered to a halt when he saw that Calum had stopped at the edge of the woods. Even from afar he could see the other boy’s hands tremble, his chest rising in uneven intervals.

Calum’s claws flashed in the moonlight as the alpha boy lunged forward. For a moment, Ashton thought Calum was slashing at the tree to release his anger, but he thought wrong. A bone-thrilling groan resonated across the field and then the branches of the tree were shaking as Calum unhinged the trunk of it by its roots. Gaping, Ashton watched Calum rip the tree out of the ground, like he would have plucked the pinwheel out of his mother’s flower pot. Calum swayed only for a moment, the tree above him showering the ground with earth.

Then the alpha sent the tree flying, crashing into the woods, cutting the trees in its way and leaving a swath of destruction. Calum let out a roar that was more feral than human, the noise making Ashton’s blood freeze and boil at the same time. Ashton fought with the need to shift, join his alpha in his frenzy.

The feeling ceased when he saw the blood drip from Calum’s hands, the skin sliced open by the bark of the tree. Calum had hurt himself, maybe would hurt himself even more severely if Ashton didn’t put an end to this. _Efferitas exeat,_ Ashton told himself with faux optimism, then took a step forward.

“Calum?” Ashton called out, meekly, as soon as he was only a couple of feet away from Calum’s aquiver figure.

The other boy spun around, snarling at Ashton with his fangs on full display, before Calum seemed to realise what he was doing and the gold faded from his eyes.

“Ashton,” Calum pressed out, and then with a lot more anguish in his voice, “Ash.”

Ashton opened his arms, right when he was tackled to the ground. Calum’s legs bracketed his waist like a vice, effectively pinning Ashton to the ground. Ashton’s head hit the ground with a low thump. Simultaneously, Calum gripped the front his shirt and pressed him into the grass even further before closing the space between their bodies. Ashton tried to meet him halfway, but the growl Calum let out was enough to make Ashton refrain from moving even the smallest inch.

And Ashton never would have thought it would happen like this, them kissing in the grass at the side of the road but Ashton couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he could feel it, felt everything that Calum was feeling, with the other boy so close.

Calum’s heart was pounding against his own, the other boy’s lips heavy on his. It wasn’t gentle, Calum kissing him was clashing teeth and swiping tongues. Calum’s nails were tearing open fabric and skin as he gripped onto Ashton’s biceps. The pain made electricity prickle at the back of Ashton’s head.

Ashton couldn’t help the small, protesting noise that escaped his lips when Calum pulled away eventually. They breathed heavily into each others mouths as Calum pressed their foreheads together.

“Tell me,” Ashton breathed out once he thought the air in his lungs would last for that. His voice was shaking more than he would have liked, “please just tell me.”

“You’re mine,” Calum’s gaze was searing when he pulled away far enough to let their eyes meet. Ashton found oceans of emotion in Calum’s dark eyes, but they all boiled down to one thing. A promise. A promise withstanding whatever the council may have decided. Ashton’s breath hitched as a slow, triumphant grin spread over Calum’s lips, “The council validated my claim. You are my beta, officially.”

Ashton felt a blinding smile creep onto his own features, “Yeah?”

Calum chuckled, “Yeah.”

Ashton let out a string of curse words, causing Calum to outright laugh this time. It was pure relief, hyping them both up. Just for the sake of it, Ashton gripped Calum’s arms and rolled them over. Ashton yipped at the alpha beneath him with his fangs on display, a mad giggle escaping his lips when Calum took back control and flipped them over into their original position. Unbothered, Ashton bared his throat. The gesture was instinctual, and seemed to console Calum within an instant. Growling softly, more gently than anything, Calum leaned down, rested face against the crook of Ashton’s neck. Ashton could feel Calum’s teeth graze his skin, not enough to break the skin, just enough to make goosebumps erupt all over Ashton’s arms.

Ashton let his head loll to the side. It was hard to fight against the feeling of utter bliss that Calum’s presence caused him.

“Hey, Calum?”

The other boy hummed in acknowledgement.

“What happened over there?”

Calum raised his head, his gaze darkening when he followed Ashton’s line of sight to the swath in the woods.

“Something that,” Calum let out a sigh, “something that Aleko said got to me. It shouldn’t have, but it did. I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

Ashton swallowed down his curiosity. He didn’t have to ask, though. Calum was telling him on his own.

“My mother,” Calum said. He rolled off of Ashton and onto his back, their sides staying pressed together. Ashton dropped his head to the side so he could watch the other boy’s profile as he spoke, “She disappeared six moons ago. I’ve been searching for her every night, roaming the woods, but I-- I just can’t find her.”

The helplessness and frustration in Calum’s voice made Ashton’s heart seize. “Do you think she’s--”

“No,” Calum interrupted him, gruffly. Ashton flinched, and a second later, Calum was taking his hand, interlacing their fingers before squeezing. “No,” the brown boy repeated more softly, “I would have known that. Losing a member of your pack is like having a limb torn off. It’s excruciating. My mother, she just… vanished. We were on a stroll through the woods. Luke and I were chasing a deer, and my mother stayed behind, you know, let us young wolves have our fun. Then I felt an echo of distress and the next second she was gone, her presence just,” Calum stretched his arm into the sky, balling his hand into a fist before uncurling his fingers one by one, “gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Ashton said. He wished he had better words, words that were sufficient, but he didn’t.

Calum smiled at him, nonetheless, “Don’t be sorry. I will find her. And if I have to roam every stick and stone these woods consist of. I will find her.”

Ashton let his eyes flutter close. In front of him he saw the picture that had caught his eye, that day when he had talked to Calum in his study. Calum, not older than twelve with chubby cheeks and a blinding smile on his face, his hand resting on his mother's shoulder. The mother of that small boy had disappeared. Ashton channelled the determination Calum was oozing into an echo of his own, “We’ll find her.”


	15. arcadia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my love Andie, the fic title is for you of course xx

_arcadia [ahr-key-dee-uh]_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. a very pleasant and quiet place or scene_

_2\. any real or imaginery place offering peace and simplicity_

 

Ashton didn’t unbuckle his seatbelt right away when Calum pulled up to his house. He stayed put, took a glimpse through the passenger window. The kitchen window of his house was illuminated. Inside, Ashton could see his mother doing the dishes, still in her nurse uniform. She must have just come home. A short glance at the car radio told Ashton that it was minutes after midnight.

“Thanks for driving me home,” Ashton turned towards Calum and smiled.

The alpha boy nodded his head, his expression soft as he watched Ashton pull the handle of the passenger door, “Of course.”

Ashton could feel the other boy’s heartbeat, perfectly in tune with his own. He could feel all the adoration and pride that Ashton found stirring inside himself whenever he thought about Calum. And before he knew it, Ashton was moving, levering himself on the hand brake as he leaned closer. Calum stilled, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as he watched Ashton lean in and then, a second before Ashton could press their mouths together, Calum averted his face, causing Ashton’s lips to land on his cheek.

Ashton’s breath caught in his throat as he realised what had happened. A constricting mixture of embarrassment and rejection made his chest clench. Calum had turned away. He didn’t want to kiss Ashton, didn’t want Ashton to kiss him. Ashton had been right. The kisses they had shared before had been nothing but a heat of the moment kind of thing. An amplification of their overall need to touch each other. It hurt more than Ashton would have expected. He felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

Blindly, Ashton reached for the handle, pushed the car door open for good this time. Calum’s eyes were wide as he watched Ashton scramble out of the car. Ashton knew that Calum could feel exactly what Ashton felt. Even more mortified, Ashton pushed himself of the seat and landed on the curb, his wolf senses just so prohibiting him from hitting the concrete butt first.

Ashton could hear Calum call after him as he stalked up the short way to his front door. It took every ounce of Ashton’s self control not to start running. Once he had made it inside, he threw the front door shut behind him, let himself fall back against the pressed wood. Ashton tried hard to breathe past the overwhelming feeling of humiliation. The only consolation he found was the roar of the engine outside, Calum’s presence eventually fading from his reach.

Pulling himself together as best as possible, Ashton pushed himself away from the door and sauntered the short way into the kitchen. His mother looked up upon his entrance, the smile vanishing from her face as soon as she had surveyed Ashton’s appearance. Ashton knew that his mother could tell that he was shook up.

“Hey, mom,” he tried nonetheless.

His mother frowned, “What happened, baby? You look upset.”

Ashton wanted to sigh. Instead, he picked up a dish towel from the rack and began drying off the dishes she had placed on the drying space next to the sink, “‘s nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, Ashton. I changed your diapers, I know your upset face.”

For a short moment, Ashton contemplated drowning himself in the dirty dishwater. His mother blinked at him, decisively unimpressed and Ashton let his head fall, “I’ve been… involved with this… person and I thought... “ Ashton hated how heartbroken he sounded. He was pathetic. “... I thought they liked me, but they don’t. Not in that way, anyways.”

“Oh, baby,” his mother sighed, the pity in her voice making Ashton’s stomach clench in discomfort. The knot loosened, however, when his mother opened her arms. Ashton let himself fall into the hug, buried his face in the crook of her neck. He had to lean down to do so, and for a moment Ashton wondered when it had become that way. Before he could think too much about it, Ashton focussed on the amalgamation of scents filling up his nose. There was his mother’s perfume, flowery but not too heavy as to not irritate any patients, the scent of laundry detergent underneath, and the smell of himself, his siblings, _home_.

Ashton didn’t know how long they stood there, him holding on tight while his mother rubbed his back, whispered reassuring words into his ear. It felt like healing balm on Ashton’s wounded soul.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you and that,” his mother shot him a smile that was a tad too knowing for Ashton’s liking, “person, but I know you. I know that you are my son and that you are kind and smart and he-- they probably don’t deserve you anyways.”

“Mom,” Ashton whined, but he couldn’t help but feel better. It was nice to hear that his mother believed in him, even though she was his mother and hence technically obligated to tell him that.

“I mean it. You are a good kid, Ashton, always so good to me and your brother and sister," his mother smiled, her eyes becoming shiny and Ashton hastily averted his gaze. He couldn’t bear the sight of his mother crying, even if it were happy tears.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, honey,” his mother swept a stray curl out of his face, before adding in her serious mom voice, “Now go to bed. It’s way too late and you’ve got school tomorrow.”

Ashton saluted, then made a beeline for the door. Once he was in his room, he ditched the pile of unfinished work on his desk in favour of flopping himself down onto his bed. He’d just copy his math homework off of Ashley in the morning. Not bothering to change out of his clothes, Ashton pulled his duvet over him and closed his eyes.

*

Michael was waiting at the car when Ashton walked down the car park on Friday afternoon.

“Man, I wish I would live closer to you,” Ashley, walking next to Ashton, sighed, pushing her backpack higher up her shoulder, “then I could join your car pool. That’s one nice ass car.”

Ashton snorted and shot his best friend a wicked smile, “Oh, I think your ride isn’t that bad either.”

Plastering an innocent smile onto his face, Ashton waved at the lanky boy waiting next to a beat-up, poisonous green hatchback down the line. One could say what they wanted, the guy definitely didn’t care what others thought about him.

“Shut up,” Ashley mumbled, dark red spreading over her cheeks.

“Mhm, no. Tell me, what’s the deal about you and the Norwegian.”

“His name is Lido,” Ashley rolled her eyes.

Ashton grinned, “I know. Now stop deflecting and tell me.”

“Uh, I like him.”

Ashton gasped, “Like or like _like_ him?”

“You are an arsehole,” Ashley whined, giving Ashton all the confirmation he needed.

“Fantastic! I’ll plan your wedding. Or maybe, your monthiversary first. We don’t want to jump the gun or anything.”

“I hate you,” Ashley lilted, then, obviously before Ashton could continue to pester her, she ran off, right into her boyfriend’s arms.

Ashton called an overdramatic “I love you, too!” after her before bridging the last few feet to his own destination.

“About time,” Michael remarked when Ashton rubbed his shoulder in greeting (the whole tactility thing, as Ashton had discovered, was kind of contagious). There was no real heat behind the purple-haired boy’s words, so Ashton merely gave a smile back and turned to round the car and climb into the passenger seat.

“Hey, uhm,” Ashton said as soon as Michael had steered the Jeep onto the streets, “can you take me home?”

Michael’s eyes widened with wonder, but he kept his gaze on the car in front of them, “You don’t want to come back to the house? It’s your turn to pick a movie tonight.”

“Yeah, I’ve got… I promised Ashley to hang out with her tonight. She made me promise on the way to the car, sorry.”

Michael was silent for a couple of seconds, seconds Ashton spent breathing evenly, keeping his heartbeat as calm as possible. Eventually, Michael shrugged, “Okay, that’s cool.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem, man. But make sure to come by the house tomorrow, okay? It’s a full moon on Sunday.”

Ashton’s stomach dropped, “Is it?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry. You’ve been doing great these past weeks. You’ll be fine,” Michael patted his leg, blindly, “We got you.”

Ashton bit his lip. He really wasn’t looking forward to the full moon. So far, he had only shifted three times, and none of these times he had been conscious.

“We got you,” Michael repeated for emphasis and Ashton let go of his bottom lip in order to smile at the other boy. “Okay.”

Michael turned up the radio after that, and Ashton let himself fall back into his seat. He used Michael’s presence to calm himself down. Ashton figured that if the purple-haired boy didn’t worry about the full moon, Ashton shouldn’t either.

*

After Michael had dropped him off, Ashton entered his house to find his little brother sprawled out on the couch in the living room. An old episode of Spongebob was playing on the TV, a half empty bowl of soggy Fruitloops perched on the couch table. Harry pulled his legs to his chest when he noticed Ashton, his eyes staying glued to the TV screen. Ashton wedged himself into the sofa space his little brother had cleared.

It wasn’t until a couple of episodes later, that Ashton noticed Harry staring at him.

Raising an eyebrow, he turned his head completely, “Yes?”

Harry blinked at him, “Are you going to stay?”

“What do you mean?”

The seven year-old shrugged, “Normally, you are gone on the weekends,” and averted his eyes back to the TV. Ashton felt his stomach sink, and his throat close up. He stayed motionless, even when Harry scrambled around until he could pillow his head onto Ashton’s thigh, and placed the older boy’s hand on his head demandingly. On autopilot, Ashton began running his fingers through his little brother’s hair.

Harry let out a content hum, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, buddy, me too.”

That night when Ashton fell into bed after an evening filled with Barbie movies and the hard-fought battle for the cheesiest slice of pizza, it was with a light heart. He had neglected his siblings way too often during the past weeks, and having spent a normal, cuddle-filled evening with the little devils put his bad conscious to rest. It made his heavy chest feel lighter.  

It was just when he was about to doze off that the presence of a second heartbeat, perfectly in tune with his own, appeared within his sensory reach. Ashton had fallen asleep before he could think about it.

*

The next day, Ashton took the bus to the house. The vehicle was beat-up, almost older than the grey-haired, moustache-sporting bus driver (not that Ashton judged her) and only drove the route every two hours. Once he had gotten off the bus, it was another twenty minutes along the dirt road until he had made it to the house.

“Ashton!” Luke called from the kitchen, the moment Ashton had set foot into the house.

Ashton counted to three in his head, a wide smile appearing on his face, as, on three, he had a good hundred and seventy pounds of blond werewolf koalaing him.

“Let him live, Luke,” Michael, who was watching the whole ordeal from the hallway, said and rolled his eyes, but Ashton could see the fond smile on his face.

“They wouldn’t have gotten you,” Luke told Ashton, pulling away slightly, but not far enough to loosen his vice-like grip around Ashton’s torso, “even if they would have said that Aleko had any right to you. We would have fought them! Right, Cal?”

“Right,” Calum’s calm voice sounded from behind Ashton. Ashton almost flinched. He hadn’t noticed Calum coming in after him. The urge doubled when the alpha slung his arms around Ashton and Luke. Ashton ignored the electricity prickling at the back of his neck that sparked the moment Calum’s hand landed on his back. He kept the smile on his face, beamed at Luke until his cheeks hurt. A second and some obligatory grumbling later, Michael joined in on the group hug.

“I’m glad you are ours,” the purple-haired boy sighed, bumping his head against Ashton’s shoulder and effectively reminding him of the topic at hand.

“Aw guys, trust me,” Ashton smiled at Michael and Luke. He could feel Calum’s breath in his neck, “you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

Michael disentangled himself with a content hum. Luke squeezed him tightly one more time, before eventually letting him go. Ashton tried hard to keep his breathing steady when Calum stayed pressed against his back. Instead of letting him go, the alpha boy tightened his grip around his waist, draped his free arm around Ashton’s shoulders from behind.

“We are going to dye Michael’s fur,” Luke informed Ashton cheerfully. “You can watch if you want.”

“Sure,” Ashton swallowed. His adam’s apple bobbed against Calum’s arm.

Luke smiled at him, then turned to follow Michael past them and out of the house. The moment the front door had fallen shut behind him, Ashton sucked in a breath. He wasn’t sure what he had wanted to say, but Calum didn’t give him a chance to do so. Before Ashton knew it, he was pinned against the wall of the hallway. Calum kept him there for only a second before he backed away, except for his hand, that encircled Ashton’s wrist as if the other boy was scared Ashton would run off if he didn’t fixate him in some way.

Ashton met Calum’s dark gaze for only a second, then he cast his eyes down, “If you’re here to tell me that I’m stupid or whatever, then you can save yourself the effort. I already know that.”

He flicked his gaze up momentarily, to find that Calum had furrowed his eyebrows, “You are not stupid, Ashton.”

Ashton snorted. He felt like a stubborn kid doing it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t make him feel at least a little bit better, “I get it okay. You’re not into me like that.”

“Ash.”

Ashton shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll swear I’ll get over it. It’s just a crush, or whatever. As I said, it’s stupid.”

“Ashton,” something about Calum’s voice was off. Ashton looked up. The other boy was looking at him, so intensely that Ashton had to blink, then something seemed to ignite in the whiskey-coloured irides. “You are so stupid.”

“Yeah, I’m aware, I already-”

Ashton was pretty sure a sucker punch would have hurt less than having Calum invade his space, press their lips together in a manner that was almost… desperate. It didn’t prohibit Ashton from kissing Calum back, though. It was too easy, getting lost in Calum like that.

“I’m sorry,” Calum panted once they had broken for air, “I’m sorry. I should have kissed you. In the car. It was never my intention to make you think I didn’t want to.”

 _It’s fine_ , Ashton wanted to say, _as long as you do it now._ Instead, he sucked his own bottom lip into his mouth, “Why didn’t you do it?”

Calum stared at him, for such a long time that Ashton began to wonder if the other boy was going to answer him at all, but eventually, Calum exhaled, “What do you feel?”

“What?”

“What do you feel?” Calum repeated and there it was again, a desperation in his eyes that Ashton simply couldn’t fathom.

“I don’t understand,” Ashton said. Calum let out an almost frustrated groan. “Please, tell me what’s going on? Calum!”

“I’m your alpha,” Calum gritted out, helplessly, as if that would offer any kind of explanation to Ashton.

“Yeah, I uh... I am aware of that.”

“No, you don’t understand. I am _your alpha,_ Ashton. Every fibre of your body is now wired to obey me. It’s your first instinct to,” Calum spoke the next words slowly, his tone imbued with contempt, “ _please_ me. Whether you are aware of it or not. I need you to look beneath that. Look as deep as you can. What do you feel?”

“Oh,” Ashton felt his gut clench. He had known that he had always felt the urge to obey Calum as his alpha when it came to all the wolf things he had to deal with. Ashton had never thought about the prospect of their different power levels influencing this aspect of their relationship. It was nauseating, the thought that maybe none of what he felt was real. Ashton let his eyes flutter close and did as he was told. He focussed on the beating of his own heart, tried to zone in on what was left if he dismissed Calum’s presence. Ashton felt nauseous, but for a different reason than before, at what he found.

After a few, long moments, Ashton pried his eyes back open, “I want to kiss you. That’s what I feel. That’s pretty much what I always feel, actually. I want to kiss you. And I miss you. You’re standing right in front of me and I feel this overwhelming urge to be closer to you. Yesterday killed me, and that was only a day that I haven’t seen you when I usually would have.”

Ashton smiled. He could hear Calum’s voice, back when it had been strange to his ears, a beacon of light while he lay dying, freezing and with a pulsing flesh wound tearing open half his shoulder. _I want him,_ Calum had said, well aware of the fact that he was risking a pack war.

“I want you.”

A slow, but blinding smile spread over Calum’s face, the echo that hit his chest making Ashton grin, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ashton’s giggle was cut short when Calum crowded him back against the wall.

“Good,” Calum growled, in a way that made Ashton’s stomach flip. Then he closed the distance between them.


	16. unassailable

_unassailable [uhn-uh-sey-luh-buh-l]_

_adjective_

_1\. not open to attack or assault_

_2\. not subject to denial or dispute_

 

It was a mild day, for November. The sun was out, and the balmy breeze didn’t manage to chill his bones as it would have if he still would have been human. As it was, it merely made Ashton let out a pleased sound. It was nice, getting a bit of cooling off. More often than not Ashton found himself sweating when he stayed indoors for too long as normal people tended to crank up the heating in winter. He understood now, why the rest of his pack tended to lose their shirts first thing when they were amongst themselves. Ashton himself had changed into basketball shorts and nothing else as soon as Calum had let him go.

The alpha boy was waiting for him on the lawn between the house and the barn. Calum was sitting cross-legged on the grass, leaned back on his elbows. For a moment, Ashton got lost in the movement of Calum’s abdominal muscles, contracting and relaxing with every breath the other boy took. Ashton shook himself out of it once he realised he was staring.

Instead he averted his gaze to the middle of the lawn. Jumping around like an excited child (which, when Ashton thought about it, was actually quite an accurate description), Luke was busy spreading a large sheet of tarpaulin out on the grass. Michael, already in wolf form, watched him from the side, his tail wagging slightly whenever Luke threatened to slip on the material. The blond boy didn’t, however. Luke always managed to catch himself in the last second, his head flying up to grin at Michael a second later. That little shit. Ashton suppressed the urge to chuckle and let himself fall down next to Calum.

“So, Luke’s gonna dye Michael’s fur?”

“Yes, I am!” Luke exclaimed from where he was wrangling down the last edge of the tarpaulin, “And it’s going to look awesome!”

Michael gave an affirming bark, before placing his paw on the rebellious material. Luke beamed, scratching the soft fur on the underside of Michael’s snout, before skipping over to where he had splayed out various bottles, next to the rolled up end of a garden hose.

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Ashton murmured as they watched Luke pick up the nozzle of the hose while Michael placed himself in the middle of the tarpaulin.

Calum smiled, a sense of glee radiating off of him that was silent, a static in the air rather than a loud laugh, but still there. Ashton could feel it. “Oh, I think it’s a terrible idea. But Michael wants to be the first multi-coloured werewolf in history, so who am I to deny him.”

From the other side of the lawn, Michael gave a yip. A second later, he was doused in ground water which (judging by the miserable yapping sounds) was cold as ice. Ashton shivered as the echo hit his chest, but he couldn’t quite keep the grin off his face. Afterwards Michael lowered himself onto his hind legs. With amusement, Ashton watched Luke crank open the first bottle of dye and empty it out almost completely onto Michael’s back.

“Alright, you’re ready?” Luke asked, his hands already lifted into the air, ready to work their way into Michael’s fur.

Michael bumped his nose into Luke’s chest, leaving a wet trail there as he pressed the side of his head against Luke’s stomach for only a second. Luke smiled down at the boy turned wolf, such deep adoration in his eyes that Ashton forced himself to look away for a moment. It was the second time he had to avert his eyes because he felt like he was intruding on something he wasn’t supposed to see and as soon as Ashton realised this, he poked Calum in the shoulder, lightly, to get his attention.

“Mhm?” Calum turned to look at him, a spark of curiosity lighting up his whisky eyes.

“About Michael and Luke,” Ashton thought about the scene he had witnessed after his second shift.

Calum blinked at him, expectantly.

“Are they… you know,” Ashton waved his hand.

Calum blinked again.

“I saw them kiss,” Ashton blurted out, “so I was wondering if they are…”

“Mates,” Calum finished the sentence for him, a slow smile spreading over his lips, “the word you are looking for is _mate_.”

“That-” Ashton tried to control his breathing, “that exists?”

“Not in the way you are thinking of right now, no.” Calum patted his arm reassuringly. “It’s not some voodoo magic werewolf pairing thing or whatever. It’s more like… do you know when people say ‘oh, this person is the love of my life?’ or ‘the one’ or whatever? That’s what werewolves call their mate. In it’s original meaning, the word stands for companion. Your first and last companion. In the end, it is nothing but a word, but still not one you just throw around lightly.”

Calum looked at him, almost sternly, and Ashton hurried to nod, hurried to show that he had understood that. The word carried meaning.

“You could call Michael and Luke boyfriends if you want, but-”

“But that wouldn’t be sufficent,” Ashton concluded.

Calum nodded, “Yeah. If you want the whole story, ask Luke about it.” Calum took a moment to look at the blond boy currently busy spreading hair dye into his mate’s fur. “It’s not really my place to tell.”

Ashton nodded and turned his head back to where Luke was joyfully slathering up Michael’s fur with a variety of dark liquids. The current one was coloured a dark turquoise. Luke grinned while he massaged the dye into Michael’s side.

The wolf’s formerly sandy blond back was now glistening in a dark cherry tone, that Ashton knew would come out as a firetruck red. Michael’s eyes were half-closed. The low, incessant growl he emitted was causing the tarpaulin beneath him to vibrate. A blissed out hum, Ashton realised.  As soon as Luke seemed satisfied with his work, he took a step back.

“Don’t move,” he sternly ordered, “for the next twenty minutes.”

Michael let out a huff before lowering himself to the ground with a heavy thump.

“That’s right,” Luke grinned, “good boy.”

Luke laughed when Michael snarled at him and, unimpressed by Michael’s bared fangs, patted the wolf’s head. Then he walked over to where Calum and Ashton were sitting and flopped himself down in front of them.

“You did a good job, Luke,” Ashton said, earnestly.

Luke beamed at him, “Thanks. Wait till I’ve rinsed the dye out and dried him. It’s going to be a masterpiece. He’s going to look amazing.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Calum said, standing up. “Until then, sandwiches?”

*

Michael did end up looking like an artistic masterpiece, Ashton had to give Luke that much. The dye didn’t cling as well to the fur as it would have to human hair, dampening the effect and making it bearable on the eye. Michael’s head was a mess of all different colours, leading down his neck in stripes to the firetruck red back. Each of his legs were a different shade of green, while his sides shimmered mermaid blue. It looked almost comical, like a child’s drawing come to life. 

Michael was exhilarated. Barking and leaping back and forth, the wolf craned his neck into almost impossible positions to examine himself. Ashton made sure to take a few pictures, along with the video Calum was taking. Calum was doing that the old-fashioned way, recording with a camcorder.

“Mhm, not a hipster alpha at all,” Ashton commented, a breathless giggle escaping his throat as he dodged the elbow Calum had aimed at his ribs.

“Shut up, the thing doesn’t have an internet connection. Also, it’s got charme.” Calum poked his tongue out at Ashton and Ashton found it significantly harder to focus on [the rainbow-coloured wolf](http://wolvesmichael.tumblr.com/post/143072246024/i-was-bored-so-i-took-a-pretty-wolf-and-edited) in front of him instead of the way Calum’s tongue swiped over his bottom lip before he retrieved it back into his mouth, leaving his lips shiny.

Ashton wanted to kiss Calum. It took him a second to realise that he could. Ashton could do that now. He could kiss Calum whenever he wanted to. Slowly, Ashton lowered his phone and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. Grinding the inside of his cheek between his teeth, he inched closer. Calum noticed him when he was about a foot away. Smiling, the brown boy lowered the camcorder and took half a step back so he was turned towards Ashton. Ashton took it as an invite to step into Calum’s space.

“Hi,” Calum’s eyes crinkled around the edges as he spoke.

“Hey,” Ashton breathed out before slotting their lips together. It was a lazy kiss, not as deep as the ones they had shared when they had been alone in the hallway of the house, but Ashton didn’t mind. He still felt that prickle of electricity at the bottom of his stomach when Calum swiped his tongue over Ashton’s teeth, buried his own fangs in the plump flesh of Ashton’s bottom lip a second later.

Ashton didn’t realise what Calum had done until the alpha boy pulled back, leaving Ashton with the taste of iron in his mouth. “Ow, you bit me!”

Calum grinned slyly at him, fangs still elongated as he took a step back into Ashton’s space and scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin beneath Ashton’s ear. “Get used to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you missed it in the chapter, or didn't want to interrupt your reading flow, someone on tumblr was indeed so awesome as to photoshop [Michael with his dyed fur!](http://wolvesmichael.tumblr.com/post/143072246024/i-was-bored-so-i-took-a-pretty-wolf-and-edited) A thousand hugs and kisses to the incredible Bellamy! xx


	17. contravene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to [@blazed-calum](http://blazed-calum.tumblr.com/) for helping me with the Maori!

_contravene [kon-truh-veen]_

_verb, to contravene_

_1\. to come or be in conflict with_

_2\. go or act against_

_3\. deny or oppose_

 

Ashton ran his fingers over the swaged titles on the backs of the books stacked neatly on the shelf to his right. Ashton had been curious since the day he had talked to Calum in the study, what the other boy’s room looked like. The answer turned out to be astonishingly normal.

The room was tidy, calm like the alpha boy himself. The loose papers on Calum’s desk were neatly sorted into stacks, only the armchair in the corner of the room was littered with clothes. On first glance, the room could have belonged to any other teenage boy, if it weren’t for the little knick-knacks here and there hinting at the much vaster truth to Calum’s person. Like the extensive collection of mythical tomes on his bookshelf. That one was a bit of a giveaway.

“Okay, so this is Latin,” Ashton said as he slid his thumb up the gold-swaged title of one of the tomes before turning his head towards Calum, who nodded in affirmation. The brown boy was perched on the edge of his bed, watching Ashton inspect his room with amusement in his eyes. “But what is this? Kotahi rau ngā otaota? That’s not Latin, right? What does it mean?”

“A hundred herbs,” Calum said. "It’s Maori.”

“Maori,” Ashton echoed, pulling the book in question out of the shelf and skimming over the front. There was a bundle of unfamiliar looking flowers printed on the bottom of it, with more writing in the foreign language above.

“It’s my mothertongue.”

Ashton raised his eyebrows in surprise, “Really?”

Calum smiled, “I was born in New Zealand. My family is descendant of the tangata whenua there. The wolf gene, that’s where I got it from. The members of my tribe have been children of the wolf ever since the first moon rose above Aotearoa.”

Ashton felt himself gape at the other boy, “That’s amazing.”

Calum’s smiled faded, “I can’t really remember it. We fled when I was really young, six or so. Before elementary school.”

Ashton could tell by the way Calum talked about it, that there was a lot to his story. Carefully, Ashton pushed the book back into his slot and joined the other boy on his bed. Calum let himself fall back so he was sprawled out on the mattress, head directed towards the ceiling. Ashton didn’t waste any time flopping himself on top of the other boy’s body. They grinned at each other for a moment, before Ashton rested his cheek against Calum’s heart. “Tell me about it.”

Calum hummed, “It’s a long story.”

Ashton pressed his lips to the bare skin of Calum’s sternum, “I have time.”

Calum above him sighed, but Ashton knew that he had won. It was exciting, to finally have someone tell him something, anything.

“My mother fell in love with my dad when she was really young,” Calum began. “He was the son of Scottish immigrants that had settled in the town near my tribe’s reservation. My grandparents, well the whole tribe really, disapproved of it, but there wasn’t much they could do. They turned a blind eye on it, until Mali was born. According to my mom, it was a humongous outrage. Her family was well-respected in the community, and then she went and had a child with an outsider, and not even someone from another pack, but a white man.”

Ashton frowned, “But that’s not fair!”

When he looked up, he found Calum smiling down at him. Calum was looking at him like there was something more to Ashton, like Ashton was one of the stars that Calum had carved into the ceiling. Calum looked at him like Ashton was demanding to be watched. It was dazzling, almost.

“It wasn’t, but life rarely is,” Calum shook his head lightly before continuing the story. “The clamor died down when Mali turned out to be no child of the moon. My mom only received a lot of contempt for that, as if it was her fault that Mali couldn’t turn because she had married the white man and all that.” Calum’s voice remained calm, but Ashton could feel the echo of disgust. “And then I came around.”

Ashton smiled at the image of Calum as a baby, a chubby-cheeked toddler.

“I started showing signs when I was about four. You’ve met Liling. I was like that, with the premature fangs, and glowing eyes and all. At first my mother tried to hide it, but I was a child. I couldn’t control it. Once the tribe found out, we were ousted for good. I was born as an alpha, so I was destined to challenge the chief for his position once I had grown up. And they couldn’t have that. A half breed, a mixed child as the leader of their pack? There was no way. They set our house on fire.”

“Oh my god,” Ashton felt anger stir inside himself. Even now, years later and though it had taken place years before they had met, Ashton felt the overwhelming need to protect Calum.

“I was in the woods with my mom that night, luckily, and Mali was visitting my dad’s parents with him, so none of us got hurt, but that was the breaking point. My dad left shortly after. He had always had problems with the animosity, but the fire made him yield.”

Blindly, Ashton searched around on the duvet until he had found Calum’s hand, interlaced their fingers and squeezed. Ashton empathised. He knew what it felt like to be abandoned by his dad. “I am so sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be. I always had my mom. My mother’s a strong wolf.”

Ashton smiled, simply because Calum did.

“But after that our days on the homeland were counted. My father’s parents gave my mother some money, for my sister and I. She bought this land, far enough away from anyone who could have known of my existence.”

“Your mother sounds amazing.” Ashton was in awe, at the strength of the woman on the photo in the study.

“She is,” Calum beamed at the ceiling. “I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

Ashton swallowed. It was like a bitter aftertaste, the reminder that Calum’s mother was gone. A second later, Ashton felt determination wash away the taste. They would find her. He had promised Calum as much.

“What happened once you were here?”

“It was lonely, at first. Mali had an easier time fitting in than me. She knew what it was like to attend school, be around other children. I couldn’t do that when I was younger, because I might have hurt them. My mom was busy figuring out the local pack dynamics, trying to set up the business with the dystillery so we wouldn’t have to starve when my grandparents’ money run out. It was hard for some time, for me. First grade sucked. But it got better when my mom started to take me into town. She had befriended the wife of the hardware store owner. Came in handy when she had to buy material to wield a cage just big enough to put her son into it. But it was cool, because I could play with the son of my mom’s friend. Though, he was a pretty big loser.”

Ashton flinched, when a loud, threatening howl sounded from outside and Calum laughed.

It took Ashton a moment to realise, “Michael?”

“Michael,” Calum confirmed, such fond taking over his face that Ashton couldn’t help but smile. “Karen figured it out, the whole werewolf thing, a good half year after we moved here. She was quite shocked, but at that point she had already adopted us into her family, so she supported my mom. Karen let me and Michael be brothers. Michael was the first one I was allowed to tell."

“What did he say?”

“He loved it.” Ashton felt an echo of adoration hit his chest, that was too weak to stem from Calum. Michael. Ashton grinned. “He said I was like one of his video game characters come to life.”

“That’s a good reaction,” Ashton mused, burying his face deeper in Calum’s chest. He tried to imagine it, explaining this whole, big werewolf thing to his own family. Ashton pulled a blank. It was too unreal, too unexplainable. His mother would cry, probably. And his siblings were just kids. He couldn’t tell them, not until they were older at least. Preferably never.

“Yeah, I think so, too.”

They lay in silence after that. Ashton relished in the feeling of just being there, feeling Calum’s warm skin against his own and trying to process everything that Calum had told him while the alpha boy’s fingers were drawing patterns onto his back. Star constellations, Ashton realised after a while.

“Hey, Calum?”

“Mhm?”

“Why the stars?” Ashton pried his eyes open to meet the other boy’s gaze, and pointed at the ceiling. “I mean, why do you love the night sky so much?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Calum smiled at him and then his eyes lit up, glowed golden for only a couple of heartbeats. “Because the night sky, the night sky belongs to the wolves.”

*

It was dawn when they came. Ashton was leaned over the kitchen sink, struggling to shake the rest of conservation water out of a can of peas that he wanted to add to the salad he was trying to make. He heard them before anything else. The low hum of engines, too quiet for it to be cars, but still strong enough for the undergrowth to be crushed beneath the wheels.

“Calum!” Ashton yelled as soon as he saw the vehicles emerge from the woods. It were quads. Ashton counted three of them in total, each carrying a figure. Ashton could hear the sounds of the TV being muted, followed by the padding of bare feet over the wooden flooring.

“What’s up?” Calum asked him as soon as he had reached Ashton.

Ashton jutted his thumb in the direction of the window. Calum took a single glance out of the window, then he dashed for the front door. Ashton followed hot on his heels.

“Those are hunters. I have to get Mali inside the house. Wake the others, go!”

Ashton didn’t question what was happening. He just moved. Calum jumped down the front porch steps, disappeared into the barn a second later. Ashton ran to where Luke was curled up into a ball on the ground in between the house and the barn, peacefully dozing. Michael was curled around him, his head bedded on his forelegs, the multi-coloured fur shimmering in the setting sun. The wolf’s breathing was going even, but his eyes were open. Michael was awake. A single glance into his determined eyes told Ashton that Michael knew what was happening. The wolf’s head lowered until his nose was hovering over Luke’s head. Michael snuffled, his fur jostling.

“Luke!” Ashton tried to push the blond boy awake, but Luke merely grunted, pushed his hand away before curling further into Michael.

 _Michael forgive me_ , Ashton directed at the heavens before he reached back and punched the younger boy in the shoulder, hard. Luke’s eyes flew open and a split second later, Ashton found himself on the ground, an olive green paw pressing him further into the grass. Michael barked once, sharp and pronounced before lifting his paw off of Ashton’s chest.

“I know, I know,” Ashton mumbled.

“What’s going on?” Luke asked, rubbing a hand over his face. The hair on the left side of his head was sticking up, sleep-mussed fringe falling into his eyes.

“There are people here I don’t know. Calum told me to get you.”

Immediately, Luke’s gaze cleared, his lips pressing into a hard line. He exchanged a quick glance with Michael, who took off a second later in the direction of the house. A foot away from the front porch, the rainbow-coloured wolf jumped, his frame blurring and then it was Michael’s human form disappearing into the house.

“He’s getting pants, c’mon,” Luke explained before pulling Ashton to his feet with him.

*

Calum was standing in the middle of the field behind the house. His shoulders were squared, head held high as he watched two of the new arrivals dismount their vehicles. The third figure remained on their quad, while the other two began to cross the field towards the werewolves.

Ashton took a stance to Calum’s right, Luke behind the alpha. Michael arrived a few moments later, now clad in basketball shorts like the rest of them. Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could see Michael throw a sweatshirt at Luke. The blond boy caught it, quickly pushing the fabric down his body before he pulled the hood up so far that his face was cast in shadows, only his nose and mouth visible. It reminded Ashton of that one time the boys had hunted him down at school.

“What do they want?” Michael mumbled, inaudible for anyone without supernatural hearing.

“I don’t know,” Calum gave back, just as lowly. “But we’ll find out.”

Ashton took in a shaky breath. For a split second, Calum turned to look at him and shot him a reassuring smile. Then the alpha directed his attention back to the two figures walking towards them.

It were a man and a woman, clad in an all black array of combat pants, shirts and jackets. Ashton schooled his expression into something neutral, but his heart was pounding. Even taking into consideration his werewolf strength, the guy’s upper arms were as thick as his thighs.

“This is private territory,” Calum spoke up before any of the intruders could. His tone was authorative, yet as calm as usual. “You are trespassing.”

“The head huntress sends us,” the woman spoke up, her tone unyielding. “We are supposed to survey if you are prepared to rein in the new beta during his first full moon.”

Ashton swallowed. They were here because of him.

“We are.”

“Yeah,” the male hunter spoke up, “we’d rather see that for ourselves,” a condescending smile making his lips part, “kiddo.”

Ashton knew it would happen, even before Michael had taken the first step forward. During every interaction with the hunters Ashton had witnessed so far, there had always been a mutual understanding of respect. An understanding of respect the male hunter in front of them was severely lacking.

“You wanna say that again, hunter?” Michael asked, plastering a mock-innocent grin onto his face. “I couldn’t hear you the first time. What did you just call my alpha?”

The hunter’s eyebrows drew together, but Ashton could see the hint of danger flesh in his eyes, “Step back, dog.”

“Michael,” Calum said, but his reprimand was in vain.

Michael took another step forward, his eyes flashing golden for just the fraction of a second, and like that, the hunter's hand wrapped around his throat in one, quick motion.


	18. cataclysm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The pack's song for this chapter, and Calum's song for the whole fic.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKh3LxUR3tw) (Thanks to Andie for the suggestion.) Enjoy! xx

_cataclysm_

_noun, plural cataclysms_

_1\. a momentous and violent event marked by overwhelming upheaval and demolition_

_2\. a catastrophe_

 

Ashton expected an echo of rage, thorough enough to make even his own blood boil. But it wasn’t rage that resonated within Ashton’s chest. It was terror. Ashton’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Michael shudder in the hunter’s grip and then start thrashing at the man, uncoordinated like a helpless child. It was like a negative version of Michael. The boy struggling to breathe reacted nothing like the terrific and so easily ferocious werewolf Ashton knew Michael to be. Ashton wanted to intervene, help Michael, but the secondhand panic made his head spin. His chest tightened, his lungs contracting the more he tried to suck air into them. He couldn’t breathe.

It stopped when Ashton was pushed to the side. He stumbled, just so caught himself before he tumbled to the ground. The next moment, there was Calum, all up in his space, wrapping his hands around Ashton’s face.

“Breathe, Ashton,” Calum told him, insistently, “you can. It’s the full moon. We are never more one than then. But you are not Michael. Breathe.”

Ashton tried hard to focus on Calum’s voice, decipher the words he was saying but he couldn’t. Over Calum’s shoulder, Ashton could see Luke’s hooded figure dash forward. Luke was fast. Ashton hadn’t known just how fast Luke was, but as he watched the scene unfold further, Ashton realised that there was a lot he had yet to learn about the blond boy.

Luke’s hand curled around the hunter’s underarm with precision before he brought it down to his knee. The bone broke with a spine-chilling crack and the hunter screamed. In an instant, his grip loosened and released Michael, who fell to the ground like a wet sack of rice. The hunter paid him no attention as he shifted all his focus on his new target.

Letting out an aggravated scream, the man lunged forward. Luke dodged the blow to the jaw with ease, _practised_ ease, Ashton realised, and watched as Luke landed a sucker punch. The hunter stumbled, his eyes bulging as all air was pressed out of his mouth and lungs. He fell like a tree. A second later, Luke was on top of him, his knee pressing down into the hunter’s diaphragm, effectively prohibiting any new air from entering the hunter’s lungs. The motion made Luke’s hood fall, expose his face and neck. He was still in his human form, teeth blunt and eyes their normal, cerulean blue. He hadn’t used any of his supernatural abilities to bring the hunter down.

“What’s it like?” Luke asked. His voice was not louder than a whisper, violent. “Tell me, senex, what’s it like when you can’t breathe?”

The words that spilled out of the hunter’s mouth in response were different from what Ashton had expected. His voice was strained, eyes full of shock as he looked at Luke. “You are the boy.”

Luke sneered down at him, “I am _a_ boy.”

Before the hunter could reciprocate, their conversation was broken off. A light gasp escaped Ashton as, out of the corner of his eye, he watched the female hunter finally break out of her stupor and surge forward, wrap her arms around Luke from behind. But Luke was prepared. The blond boy caught her hands as if he knew beforehand where the huntress wanted to strike, sent her stumbling backwards by pointedly ramming his elbow into her spleen. The distraction was grave enough to let the male hunter gather a gasp of air back into his lungs, gather enough strength back so that he was able to push Luke off of him. Luke rolled off of him in a way that was way too smoothly for it to be unintentional. He landed on his knees, slowly rose to his feet. Luke’s chest was heaving minimally as he stared down at the two hunters. He watched the huntress help her partner to his feet with an impassive expression.

“You are the boy,” the male hunter repeated as soon as he was standing, his broken arm cradled against his chest.

“Diego,” the huntress hissed, “let it go.”

The hunter shook her off, took a step towards Luke, “You are the Hemmings boy.”

“Luke Hemmings is dead,” Luke bit back, a finality to his tone that thrilled Ashton to the bone.

It was like puzzle pieces falling into place. Ashton felt his eyes widen as the realisation hit him, hard. It was all there, in front of his eyes, had been the entire time.

There was the uncanny resemblance between Luke and Ben and Jack Hemmings and their encounter in the grocery store.

_“Is he good?”_

Jack had talked about Luke when he had asked Calum this, about Luke, his little brother. It made sense, so much sense. Ashton couldn’t believe how blind he had been. Luke, blond, blue-eyed Luke, who was a zealous, merely fifteen year-old, yet sported scars as long as Ashton’s entire arm down his back. Luke, a Hemmings. Luke, a hunter.

It was the whistling of repressed air that pulled Ashton back into the here and now.

Luke caught the arrow aimed at his chest, plucked it right out of midair. Ashton hadn’t even seen coming. All of their heads snapped into the direction of the woods, where the third, forgotten hunter was kneeling on the seat of his quad, the bowstring of his crossbow vibrating from its release.

Ashton could see both Diego as well as the huntress swallow. Diego’s eyes filled with hatred, the huntress’s eyes with fear. Ashton decided that the woman was smarter.

“We see that all measures for the beta’s full moon have been taken,” the female hunter directed at Calum, the brave face she was putting on merely masking the nervousness underneath.

With a bone-chilling crack, Luke snapped the arrow into pieces and let the remnants trickle to the ground.

“Concedite!” Luke growled, lowly and absolutely lethal. Ashton didn’t have to be able to understand the word to know what it meant.

Without another word, the huntress pulled her partner in the direction of their quads. She reached her vehicle first, jumped onto the seat and steered the quad back onto the track leading into the woods, following the third hunter who had taken off as soon as his companions had started making their way towards him.

The moment the male hunter had reached his quad, he turned around. The noise he uttered under his breath was too low to be audible for anyone without supernatural hearing. It was a single word, three syllables accentuated sharp like knives. A curse, unmistakeably directed at Luke. “Proditor!”

With that, the male hunter shoved his helmet over his head and mounted his quad, kicked the vehicle to a start before he followed the other hunters back into the forest.

Ashton took a deep breath once he was gone and gripped Calum’s shoulder, squeezed to let the other boy know that he could breathe now. Calum let him go, reluctantly, grabbing his hand instead. Ashton shot him a reassuring smile, even if it came out a bit shaky.

A shudder went through Luke’s body the moment the last hunter was gone. His shoulders fell and like that, he had spun around and was kneeling by Michael’s side, cradling the other boy’s head on his thighs. Michael’s chest was heaving still, and even though they didn’t compel Ashton anymore, he could still feel the waves of panic coming from the purple-haired boy. They were less intense now, got weaker by the second.

“... should’ve thought beforehand,” Michael mumbled, causing Luke to sniff and lift one of his hands out of Michael’s hair to rub his nose on his sleeve. “Yeah, you fucking should have. How often do I have to tell you to think before you blindly attack. He could have fucking killed you, Michael.”

“He caught me off-guard. Couldn’t breathe, I.... my one weakness. Sorry.”

“Shh,” Luke shushed him before pressing his lips to Michael’s forehead.

A small smile played on Michael’s lips as he let his eyes flutter close. He lifted one hand above his head to take Luke’s left and interlace their fingers. “You fought good. Still got it.”

Luke beamed down at the purple-haired boy, shaking his head.

“You fought good,” Calum repeated, causing Luke to pry his eyes away from Michael and smile at him.

“Eh,” the blond boy shrugged half-heartedly, “someone had to do it.”

Calum nodded, accepting the deflection, “We should go to sleep. It’s going to be nighttime soon, and we have a long day tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Luke turned his head to look at the rising moon, almost full in the darkening sky, before he looked back down at Michael. “We’ll come inside in a minute.”

Ashton waited until him and Calum had made it into the kitchen until he spoke up. There was a minor detail, something that had only surfaced to the forefront of his mind once he had sorted through the mass of things that had happened and stowed most of it away.

“Hey, Calum?” Ashton asked as the other boy handed him a can of soda.

“Yes?”

“That third hunter, the one that stayed behind…”

Calum’s jaw set, his gaze darkening, “Yes?”

“He had a crossbow. And, I mean, was that…” Ashton couldn’t say it. The thought was too dreadful to him.

Calum set his can down carefully, before he answered, “The hunters live by their code. For them, their code stands above everything. We have a truce with them that prohibits them from hunting us as long as we do not turn violent against any humans, or them. It is not my place to tell Luke’s story, but you know the outcome and that is that he is part of this pack. He is a werewolf and therefore he is prey in the hunters’ eyes. Nothing else. Whoever he may have been before, that person is dead now. That person died the moment he was bitten.”

Ashton took a swig of the soda Calum had handed him, swallowed.

“But yes,” Calum said eventually, lifting his eyes from his can to meet Ashton’s eyes, “the hunter with the crossbow was Luke’s brother. That was Ben Hemmings.”

*

“I’m not going to lie,” Ashton sighed loudly, just to shake the tension from the air, and maybe talk over the jumbling cells in his blood, singing to the moon outside. He could feel it, feel the planet rise higher with every second. Soon it would reach its peak. That was when it would unfold his full effect on Ashton, or that was what the others had told him. “The last time I imagined some hot, half-naked dude chaining me up in his barn that was in a bit of a different context.”

Calum in front of him snorted and fastened the last shackle around Ashton’s wrist, pulling on the chain connecting it to the heavy ring bolted to the ground in middle of the cage.

“The chains are not going to hold you for long,” Calum explained in that slightly worried, slightly feral voice Ashton had grown accustomed to throughout the day. The day of the full moon. A big event, as Luke had reassured him multiple times, even though Ashton wouldn’t experience any of it consciously. “They are just so you don’t hurt yourself during the shift. After that we got you. Once you’ve broken free, we’re going to keep you in check and before you know it, it’s tomorrow morning and you’ve got your first full moon behind you.”

“That’s, uh,” Ashton tried for his best smile. Reflexively, he strained against the cuffs around his wrists, “reassuring.”

“We got you,” Michael chimed up from where he was standing outside of the cage.

“We got you,” Luke agreed, shooting Ashton a wink.

Calum smiled, darkly. Then he leaned forward, pressed their lips together for just a heartbeat, or two.

“They are right,” he whispered, “we got you.” And with that, Calum left the cage and leaned the door shut. There was no point in locking it. Ashton would break through it either way.

Ashton smiled at his friends, his pack. They had him.

 

* * *

 

1 _senex_ means “old man” and holds a negative connotation, the counterpart of “kiddo”

2 _concedite!_ = the imperative plural of concedere means "to yield, to retreat", used in the given context Luke advises the hunters to "flee!"

3 _proditor_ means “traitor”


	19. komorebi

_komorebi [kom-ho-reh-bee]_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. sunlight filtering through trees_

 

Ashton sensed the hand, even before it splayed out flat on his back. The smell of axe bodyspray and sweaty track socks filled his nose. He just so managed to strain the muscles in his neck and brace himself with a hand in front of his chest. Then he was pushed forward. Ashton tasted rust and chipped varnish as his face was pressed against the door of his locker. The edges of the maths tome he had been trying to shove into the top shelf cut into his chest, left a throbbing sensation. Then the hand was gone and he was free again. Ashton knew better than to stare after the cackling group of boys, who were already at the end of the hallway, rounding the corner.

Lips pressing into a thin line, Ashton shoved the rest of his books into his locker and slammed the door shut. He flinched when he found Michael standing at the other side of it.

“I felt an echo of pain.” The purple-haired boy frowned, green eyes roaming Ashton up and down, searching for any injuries. “What happened?”

Ashton plastered a smile onto his face, big enough to be convincing, “Nothing, just hit my head on the locker door. I’m still a bit groggy from yesterday night. No biggie.”

It wasn’t even a lie, technically. Ashton did feel like he was hungover, had so since the moment he had woken up in the greenhouse with a couple of monitoring pads attached to his chest and his first full moon behind him. It was a dull throb in the back of his head, a queasiness in his bones. Calum had reassured him that the feeling would wear off eventually.

_“It has that effect on all of us. With great power comes…”_

_“... a great feeling of having been thrown under a bus?”_

_“Yeah,”_ Calum had smiled _, “a bit like that. Only the full moon leaves us behind like that, though. You’ll get used to it.”_

Ashton couldn’t wait to get used to it. Even though, Michael’s grumpy demeanor all morning didn’t give him much hope in that aspect. The purple-haired boy squinted at him. Ashton carved his expression into something innocent, sheepish.

“Okay.”

“Right,” Ashton cleared his throat. “I’ve got maths now, so I gotta go.” He slung his backpack over his shoulder and began to walk backwards. “But I’ll see you at lunch!”

Ashton rounded the corner before Michael could answer.

His teacher was already in the classroom when Ashton entered. Ashton reciprocated the teacher’s stern gaze with an apologetic shrug of his shoulders before he hurried to sit down. From the very back of the room he could hear Carter Stevens and his gorillas snicker.

Ashton ignored them as he flipped his book open. Maths belonged to the list of classes Ashton attended only for exactly that - attendance. As soon as his teacher began to drone on about long division and its applicability regarding algorithms, Ashton’s brain ceased all higher functions. His mind was blank as he looked at the equations on the paper in front of him.

Ashton wasn’t sure how much time he had spent doodling on the piece of paper when he felt a tingling sensation against the back of his head. The next moment, a familiar presence appeared in his sensory reach. Startled, Ashton looked up and out of the window.

“No fucking way,” he hissed, too loudly.

“What was that, Mr Irwin?” his teacher inquired, visibly unamused that Ashton had interrupted his lecture.

“Uhm,” Ashton was uncomfortably aware that the whole class was watching him, “I wanted to ask if I could go to the bathroom?”

The group of girls sitting in front of him broke into giggles. Ashton swallowed past the burn in his cheeks. His teacher sighed before pulling the drawer of his desk open.

Hastily, Ashton stood up and stumbled his way to accept the hall pass, “Thank you.”

“Six minutes, Irwin.”

Ashton saluted and made a beeline for the door. He was out in the hallway before he could see the boy at the back of the classroom rise to his feet. As soon as Ashton had pulled the door close behind him, he ran. Mid-period, the corridors were as empty as expected and Ashton allowed himself to focus on the contracting of his muscles. He was down the halls within seconds.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ashton gritted out, the moment he had pushed open the side entrance leading him onto the yard behind the science building. He knew Calum could hear him.

The boy himself was perched on one of the picnic tables clattered around the yard, a satisfied grin spreading over his lips as he watched Ashton approach.

“Visitting you,” Calum informed him once Ashton was standing in front of him, “aren’t you happy to see me?”

Ashton rolled his eyes, just for the effect of it. On the inside, he was melting and he knew that Calum could feel that, could feel Ashton’s echo. “You’re crazy.”

“Crazy for you,” Calum gave back, smugly.  
Ashton groaned as Calum clasped his hands around the lapels of his hoodie and pulled him in.

“What are you doing?” Ashton tried, weakly, against Calum’s mouth.

“Kissing you,” Calum breathed out in between pecks, “that teacher of yours said six minutes, so I’m utilising the remaining five and a half.”

Ashton wanted to protest, but it was hard with Calum so close, their mouths slotting together so easily. With a sigh, Ashton gave in and allowed Calum to nudge his lips open further with his tongue. He could feel Calum’s triumphant grin against his mouth. In retaliation, Ashton searched for the pulsating energy confined at the bottom of his spine, and allowed it to run freely through his veins, just enough that he felt his newfound fangs elongate. Ashton digged them into Calum’s bottom lip.

A second later, Calum’s hand wrapped around the nape of his neck, pulled Ashton’s head back by his hair. Ashton pried his eyes open to find Calum looking at him. Serene wonder flashed over Calum’s eyes as he lifted his fingers to his mouth, just to retrieve them coated in red-tinged saliva.

“You bit me.”

Ashton smiled, let his eyelashes flutter as he leaned forward. Calum loosened his grip in Ashton’s hair enough to let him. Ashton pressed his lips to his cheek, “Get used to it.”

The brown boy’s breath faltered, just for the remainder of a second, then Ashton found himself flipped, the hard concrete top of the picnic table digging into his lower back.

“You,” Calum pressed their lips back together, “are…,” almost violently, Calum began making his way down Ashton’s face, attacked his neck, “so…”

“Cheeky?” Ashton suggested. The giggle that bubbled up inside his chest his chest came out as a low moan when he felt Calum’s teeth drag over his throat. “F-fuck.”

The echo that hit his chest was nothing but smug satisfaction. Ashton had a hard time focussing with Calum’s mouth on his skin. It was intense, much more intense than anything he had experienced so far. It made his skin tingle, something inside his stomach furl. Ashton let his eyes flutter shut, buried his hands in the thick curls at the back of Calum’s head. Calum moved back up and pressed their lips together, then let go.

Ashton just so managed to swallow the protesting whine that had threatened to escape his throat. He felt it, then, the presence in his reach that he had missed entirely. It had been drowned out by Calum, much like everything else. Ashton tried to mask his indecency with a cough while Calum took a step back, let go of him for good.

Then Calum turned to their right, “Hey, Luke.”

“Hey,” Luke gave back, hovering on the heels of his feet at the corner of the picnic table. The shit-eating grin on his face made Ashton want to bury his face in the back of Calum’s neck. Ashton should have known it. There was no way in hell Calum would ever sneak out to visit him without Luke tagging along.

“I assume,” Ashton cleared his throat, willing the burning in his cheeks to go away, “you went to visit Michael?”

“Yeah,” Luke grinned even wider before his face fell. “He had some kind of presentation going on in his art class, though, so he couldn’t sneak out. But at least I got to see you.”

The way Luke said it, so undiscerning and amiable, made Ashton’s lips curl into smile on their own accord, “I’m happy to see you too, man.”

Luke began walking past them, “Coming here was Calum’s idea, by the way. Don’t let him tell you otherwise,” upon Calum’s growl, Luke fastened his pace, “I’ll wait at the car.”

As soon as Luke was gone, Calum turned back towards him. With a crease between his brows, he rightened the strings of Ashton’s hoodie before looking up at him, “You should come by the house tonight.”

Ashton nodded, “Yeah. I have to take a detour to my house, make dinner for my siblings. Afterwards, I’ll come around.”

“Good,” Calum leaned forward, pecked Ashton on the lips, “I’ll send Michael to come and pick you up.”

“Or _you_ could come and pick me up.” Ashton stuttered when Calum rose an eyebrow, “Michael, uh, he’s got some stuff to catch up on with Luke, right? So maybe you should come and pick me up?”

Calum blinked at him, then a small smile played out on his lips, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m going to pick you up. You should hurry.” Calum smiled as he began to walk backwards, away from Ashton, “Half a minute left.”

Ashton pushed himself off the picnic table and started jogging towards the science building. With Calum’s presence still so ingrained into his cells, maths didn’t quite faze him. Ashton could feel the howl before he heard it, a grin splitting his face in half as he sprinted down the hallway, back to his classroom.

*

Calum left that night. After he had picked Ashton up and they had had dinner with the rest of their pack, Calum and Michael left to patrol the woods. Ashton hadn’t asked but he knew that it wasn’t a simple stroll through their territory. Calum and Michael would search for Calum’s mother, like Ashton knew Calum did on a regular basis. They had talked about it, once after the night at the council when Calum had told him about the disappearance of his mother. As soon as Ashton had regained his conscience during the shift, he planned on joining the search party. Until then, he was bound to stay back.

“Sunrise,” Michael murmured as he pressed his forehead to Luke’s. Ashton had seen them say goodbye countless of times before, but it still amazed him to hear Michael speak with such gravity in his voice, “I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Sunrise,” Luke echoed, then watched as the purple-haired boy rose to his feet and strut over to the door where Calum was already waiting for him. Calum reciprocated the smile Ashton shot him, warmth dripping from the corners of his mouth even though his eyes remained empty. Ashton ignored that. He knew it wasn’t because of him.

Luke scrambled off the sofa as soon as the door had closed behind Calum and Michael, and made his way to the shelves next to the fireplace, stacked with DVDs. “Normally, I’m catching up on my shows on Monday evenings, but because you are here we can watch a movie instead?”

Ashton yawned, snuggling himself deeper into the couch. His full stomach and the soft blanket Luke had thrown at him the moment Ashton had sprawled himself out on the couch were making him sleepy, “Sounds good to me.”

Luke smiled at him before he turned back around. As he stretched to reach one of the higher shelf boards, the shirt he was wearing rode up, revealing a good portion of his lower back. Ashton bit his lip as he spotted the jagged lines that ran up Luke’s back before they disappeared underneath his shirt.

“Hey, Luke,” Ashton asked as the blond boy returned to his spot on the couch, a pile of DVDs in his hands, “can I ask you something?”

Luke smiled at him, unsuspecting curiosity making his eyebrows lift, “Sure. What is it?”

“The scars on your back…” Luke’s smile faltered, but his gaze remained steady. Ashton took a deep breath, “How did you get them?”


	20. memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke's song for this chapter is "Top Floor" by Ed Sheeran.
> 
> TW more or less graphic depictions of violence, and stupid kids in love
> 
> Enjoy! xx

_memories [mem-e-rees]_

_noun, plural of memory_

_1\. the mental faculty of retaining and recalling past experience_

_2\. period of time covered by the remembrance or recollection of a person_

 

“It’s kind of a long story,” Luke smiled at him. There was no surprise in his gaze, if anything, it was relief underlying his words. As if he had waited for Ashton to ask him this question. Or maybe he was happy that he could talk to someone about it.

Ashton leaned his elbow on the backrest of the couch and propped his head up on his hand, “Tell me about it.”

“To answer your question,” Luke closed his eyes for the duration of a heartbeat, “I did it myself. The scars, that was my doing.”

Ashton felt his own breath hitch.

“But that’s not what you want to know, I think?”

Ashton shook his head, slowly. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know anything at all of the things Luke was about to tell him. But then he gritted his teeth. This was his family now. He needed to know what had happened.

“Tell me your story, please.”

Luke smiled at him, seemingly content with Ashton’s answer. He slouched himself further into the sofa, got comfortable. Then he let his head loll to the side, his gaze attaching to the flames that were dancing in the fire Calum had set up in the chimney.

“I met Michael and Calum on my first day of middle school. I hadn’t been to school before that, I was homeschooled during my elementary years like every other child born into a werewolf hunter family.”

Luke took a breath, gauged Ashton’s reaction. Ashton remained calm. He had known that, where Luke came from. Luke seemed content with Ashton’s silence.

He continued, “So I was quite nervous. First day of school, big day and all that. And then I got run over by a skateboard within ten minutes of being on school grounds.” Luke grinned and shook his head. “I landed on my butt, while this lanky kid in a spiderman hoodie and the most impressive fringe I had ever seen just kept rolling. He was being chased by his buddy because the kid on the skateboard had stolen his Elmo beanie.”

Luke turned to look at him, fond and mischief bright in his eyes, “You can now guess which one of them was Michael and which one was Calum.”

Ashton chuckled. “I think I have an idea.”

He tried to imagine it, the chubby-cheeked kid Ashton knew from the family photo in Calum’s study with an Elmo beanie, getting his head stolen by a mini Michael on a skateboard.

“In the end, Joy, Calum’s mother, came to help me to my feet, apologised to me. I guess she was used to it. Mikey and Cal always wreaked havoc, wherever they went. There was always commotion around them and that day I was just another piece of collateral damage.”

Luke pulled his knees to his chest, turned back to the flames. He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. “I was fascinated, from that day on.” A low smile spread over his lips. “It was kind of hard not to. They were so loud, even in class they never shut up. Well, Michael never shut up. Calum tried to control him, but you know Michael. He isn’t really the obedient type. It was impossible not to look at them. I spent a good month just admiring them from afar.”

Involuntarily, Ashton raised his eyebrows. Luke caught him before he could lower them again.

“Why,” Ashton rubbed his cheek, “why didn’t you just approach them?”

Luke laughed at him, as if Ashton was missing the obvious. “I had a _crush_ , Ashton. I was eleven and very, very uncool and I had a crush on a boy who was a year older and very, very cool. Not that I knew it then. But you still feel it, you know? Even if you can’t name it?”

Ashton nodded. He had been dealing a lot with that lately.

“How did you become friends then?”

Luke’s hand fell from where he had wrapped his arms around his knees to his left foot. “I sprained my ankle. I had gone on a hunt with my bro-” Luke cut off as if he had run out of air. He inhaled. “I had fallen in the woods and twisted my ankle badly enough, so that I couldn’t participate in gym class for a good couple of weeks. Michael was on the bench as well.”

Ashton chuckled, “Did he do something bad?”

“No." Luke shook his head, then swayed his head so he could meet Ashton’s gaze, “Michael had asthma. He wasn’t allowed to do any heavy exercise.”

“Oh,” Ashton sat back, bit his lip.

“Suddenly, it was easy,” Luke smiled, an expression of awe in his eyes, “Michael asked me for my name and I asked him for his as if I hadn’t been obsessing over him for a month already. He said that he thought I was kinda cool and invited me to play video games with him that afternoon and I was so over the moon, Ashton. Not only had I made a friend who didn’t belong to either my family or was an adult bound to hang out with me on a hunt, but it was also Michael. I was friends with Michael Clifford.”

Ashton suppressed the weird urge to pat Luke on the shoulder and mumble “good job.” Luke seemed to get it, nonetheless. A huge grin split his face in half. Or maybe that was due to what he said next. “What followed was the best year of my life. I was best friends with Michael and subsequently also Calum. I mean, I only ever saw Calum in school or at Michael’s, but I didn’t care, you know? They were my best friends. They were my compensation for the hard training at home. Your training as a hunter begins the moment you are born so it was… it was nice to have a scrap of normal, of everyone else. It was easy to ignore the feeling of Calum and Michael keeping certain things from me. I just figured that it was because they had been friends long before me. And then there were Michael’s attacks. Those kept me occupied.”

Ashton was about to ask, but then he remembered. Right. Michael had been asthmatic.

“It didn’t happen that often,” Luke furrowed his brows, “but when it happened, it was bad. He always joked about it, said how neat it was that we were able to spend the majority of the day in the nurse’s office and not in class after an attack, and his mom always got us ice cream when she came to pick him up. But it was terrible,” Luke dug his nails into the revealed skin where he had slit the fabric of his jeans above his knee open, “to see him crumble just like that, gasping for air, heaving more and more of it into his lungs but he couldn’t breathe. He just couldn’t…”

Ashton involuntarily leaned forward, tried to console Luke by rubbing his arm. Luke smiled at him, blinked the watery shine out of his eyes.

“It happened sporadically, not more than once or twice a month. It was manageable.”

Ashton bit his lip. The way Luke said it made clear that there had been a deadline to the manageable time period. He almost didn’t want to ask. “What happened then?”

“I went to summer camp,” Luke let out a humourless laugh and let his head fall back, looked at the ceiling. “I am a good archer.”

Ashton nodded. He didn’t hesitate to believe that for one second.

“It was a special summer camp for my kind and I won this really big trophy, because I beat all the other contestants other clans had sent, even much older hunters. I was good at what I did, excellent.” Luke frowned. “I wanted to show Michael when I got back, so I called his house, asked if I could come over, you know? His dad told me he was in the hospital. The idiot had gone on a stroll on his skateboard and forgotten to bring his inhaler.” Luke let his gaze fall back onto the fire. “His lips and nails were blue by the time they found him. He almost died and…” Luke looked at his lap. “It took its toll on Karen.”

Ashton blinked, needed a moment to assign the name. Karen, Michael’s mother. The woman with the pancakes.

“She had struggled with it for a long time, but that was kind of like the last straw. She made a decision after that.”

Ashton died to ask what kind of decision it was. But he knew Luke would tell him, eventually.

“A week after that and two weeks before the first day of eighth grade, it was my birthday. I had coaxed the headhuntress into letting Michael and Calum sleep over. Calum came but his mother picked him up the same night. She didn’t allow him to spend the night at someone else’s.”

Luke smiled, a special kind of smile, dripping with fondness and adoration. His hand came up to his neck, retrieving the necklace hidden underneath his shirt. Dangling from the silver chain was a pendant, about the size of a coin. It was a crescent moon, a tiny ruby dangling from the top tip into the concave space.

“Michael gave this to me at midnight. He said that he was sorry, that he knew necklaces were for girls but that he thought I might like this one.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“He was the centre of the universe to me. I was so far gone, already and then he did this and… I kissed him.” Luke looked down, closed his eyes as he closed his fist around the pendant. His smile dropping into a close-mouthed, lopsided grin. “Needless to say that I was devastated when he didn’t talk to me the following two weeks.”

“Wait- what?!” Ashton felt his mouth drop open.

Luke bared his teeth, “I pinned him down, on the first day of school. He didn’t even look me in the eyes. He just said we shouldn’t be friends anymore.”

“I’m sorry.” Ashton knew that Luke and Michael had found their happy ending eventually, still his heart bled for little, prepubescent Luke getting rejected.

“Don’t be. Michael had his reasons. I think a part of me knew, back then, what was really going on, but refused to see. I tried to talk to Michael several times, but he treated me as if I was air. I even tried to get Calum involved, he was my friend too after all, but,” Luke shrugged, “eventually I gave up. Well, gave up trying it that way. I couldn’t give up on Michael. So I began to investigate.”

The corner of Luke’s mouth twitched, as if he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to smile or frown. Ashton felt his chest clench as he saw Luke heave in a breath, willing the shiny state of his eyes to go away. Luke looked down.

“It was bad when Michael cut me off just like that. But that was really nothing compared to when I followed him and Calum into the woods a month later to watch first Calum and then Michael shift into these fantastic, lethal beasts that my family had warned me about since the day I was born. I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast in my life.”

“Wait,” Ashton raised his hand in question, “Michael had become a werewolf?”

Luke nodded, “Calum bit him two days after my birthday.”

“Oh,” Ashton felt his eyes grow wide, “so that’s the reason he stopped talking to you?”

“He didn’t want me to get hurt,” Luke shook his head. His hand wandered to the back of his neck and then lower, to where his scars began.

“But why? Why did Calum bite him? Alphas can live without a beta, right?”

“Yeah,” Luke nodded, “Calum turned when he was eleven. He was already a werewolf when I met him. He lived two years without a beta bound to him by his bite. I don’t think he ever wanted to give the bite to someone. Calum has never turned someone voluntarily.”

Ashton swallowed, thought back to the night he had been bitten, thought of the council, of Aleko and the huntress’s sharp, blue eyes. The same cutting irides were looking at him right now. Luke’s statement included Ashton. Luke’s statement included Luke.

“It was Karen’s decision, the bite,” Luke continued, “it cures all physical impairments. There are some packs in the South who give the bite to cancer patients, in exchange for a price, of course. You lost your shortsightedness. And Michael lost his asthma.”

“So that was Karen’s decision,” Ashton mumbled, more to himself.

But Luke nodded nonetheless, “She was a mother, so she did everything so her son could live.”

“What happened then?”

“Once I was home I locked myself in my room and bawled my fucking eyes out.”

“Oh. I’m sorry you were sad.”

“I wasn’t sad.” Luke tilted his head slightly. “I was scared.”

“Why scared?”

“You know the authorisation process, right?”

“Oh,” Ashton felt his heart sink, “oh no. Michael was an unauthorised bite?”

“Hunter’s prey,” Luke confirmed, grimly.

“Wait, but… the hunters didn’t have to know about him, right?”

“Oh, we would have found out,” Luke grinned mirthlessly, “There was no truce back then. It was wolves against hunters. And I had seen Calum and Michael shift.”

“You wanted to tell on them?”

“No.” Luke’s head whipped in Ashton’s direction, his gaze ablaze as he pierced Ashton with it. “No,” Luke repeated more softly. “It was my duty to tell on them. There was an ‘out of control’ alpha and his unauthorised beta in our county. I should have run straight to the headhuntress, announce the breach and watch them hunt down my best friends. That was what I was supposed to do. That was everything I had been brought up with, that was everything I had ever believed in. Kill werewolves, save people. That was what I believed in.”

“But you didn’t go through with that,” Ashton concluded.

“I didn’t.” Luke’s knuckles turned white where he still held the pendant of his necklace enclosed, “I believed in Michael more, Calum too. I loved them, both of them, more than anything. And Michael was the centre of my universe. I was in love with him. Even though he hadn’t talked to me in weeks and his stupid ass wouldn’t even look at me in class, I loved him more than anything in the world. I would have rather died than let any harm come to him.”

Ashton sat back, tried to process all of this. It seemed so incomprehensable to him. He tried to imagine it, small, twelve year-old Luke gambling for his friends’ life, choosing them over his own family.  

Ashton felt that Luke’s story was coming to its high point, “What did you do instead?”

“I chose death,” Luke answered, simply, “I decided that Luke Hemmings was going to die.” Luke smiled at the fire, almost mockingly. “As the son of one of the oldest hunter families on the whole North American continent, I should have known better. I should have known better than to sneak into the woods during a full moon, alone and without weapons, but that was the decision that I had made.”

Ashton felt his heartbeat pick up speed. He had a distinct feeling where this was going to go, “The scars, they--”

“I did it myself,” Luke cut him off. “I knew what was going to happen when I set foot into the forest that night. I knew it all. I knew that Michael wasn’t older than a month and that new werewolves can’t fathom a single human thought for the first few of months. I knew that new werewolves are feral and that humans become not much different from deers during that stage of their transformation into a mythical creature. I knew what was going to happen. I knew it and I wanted Michael to turn me, whether he wanted that or not.”

“But… but betas can’t turn people, right? That’s what Calum told me when I asked him about shifting at school. Only alphas can create new werewolves through bite?”

“Yes and that,” Luke lifted his index finger, “was the one thing I didn’t know.”

Ashton’s stomach dropped as he realised what that meant. He tried to find words and inhaled, but there were none and so he released the breath he had taken unused.

“Calum stopped Michael as soon as he realised what was going on. I’m not sure if you have noticed this yet, but if your alpha gives you a direct order, you can’t disobey it.”

Ashton shuddered as he remembered the few, but poignant occasions Calum had talked to him in _that_ _authoritative voice_ and his words had overtaken every priority in Ashton’s brain.

“Yeah,” Ashton cleared his throat, “yeah, I noticed that.”

Luke nodded, “It still works, even during the transformation period. That’s how Calum keeps you in control when you are a wolf.” Luke frowned at nothing. “I am still sorry for what I did to him that night. Those were probably the worst couple of minutes in Calum’s life until then. There was me, who was his friend and who was a Hemmings -- Calum knew about me and my family, of course -- lying on the ground with half my back clawed open and then there was Michael, his best friend who had just non-sentiently clawed half of my back open. I still don’t know how he remained calm enough to save me, but he did.”

Ashton inhaled deeply.

“After he had chased Michael off, Calum brought me to the greenhouse. Mali managed to stop the bleeding for the most part, but I was dying.”

Ashton swallowed. He tried hard not to imagine that too vividly.

“I don’t remember much, it’s all a haze but I remember when Michael came.”

Ashton didn’t hesitate to believe for one second the havoc that Michael must have wreaked when he had seen Luke on the greenhouse table.That was something he _really_ didn’t want to imagine.

“I don’t think I had ever gotten yelled at as badly as I did then. He was so mad.” Luke smiled, the kind of smile that Ashton had seen him wear only twice before. The day Ashton had woken up in the house for the first time and witnessed Luke and Michael fight in the kitchen, and the time he had woken up on the same couch they were sitting on right now. _You are everything to me_ , Michael had said to Luke. “And then he kissed me,” Luke grinned. “Only took me one death scare to get him to admit that he liked me back.”

“Jeez,” Ashton wheezed out, in lack of a better idea. “What happened then?”

“Joy had called my family, and they came." Luke sighed. “The code is very clear about the whole getting bitten aspect. There was no absolution for me. They were supposed to let me succumb to my wounds.”

Ashton wanted to scream how that wasn’t fair, but he knew that Luke knew that already. He bit his lip, “But they didn’t right? I mean obviously, but…”

“No, the headhuntress,” Luke’s face contorted into a grimace, “my mother couldn’t let me die.” Luke lifted his head, his gaze becoming dull as he repeated the words he had uttered before, “She was a mother, so she did everything so her son could live.” For the brief remainder of a second, Luke’s face was overtaken by emotions, so many that Ashton had a problem deciphering them all. But he didn’t have to. They all had one thing in common. They were all tinged with pain.

“She asked Joy to have Calum turn me and in return the hunters were going to turn a blind eye on the Hood pack.”

“A truce,” Ashton said.

“The truce,” Luke nodded. “That’s how it came to be.”

“Hey, Luke,” Ashton asked, carefully, after several beats of silence, “I noticed that your brothers, they treat you like… like you don’t exist. And that hunter, Diego or whatever his name was…”

Luke smiled at the bare skin of his knee, “Luke Hemmings died that night three years ago. He’s nothing but a memory of someone else’s life. So when Ben and Jack Hemmings see me, they see nothing but a werewolf belonging to a pack in their county. That’s part of the truce.”

Ashton wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t find any consoling words. He couldn’t imagine giving up his family, losing his siblings. All he could do was sent an echo, convey all the love and compassion he felt for the younger boy to him.

Ashton let out a slight wheeze when Luke wriggled over the half metre separating them and wrapped his slender arms around Ashton’s shoulders. Ashton hugged Luke back whole-heartedly.

“I am happy now. Please don’t think I am not. I have you and Calum and I have Michael. I don’t regret the decisions I have made. I have chosen my family, but that doesn’t make the bond any weaker.”

“I think you are probably the strongest person I know.”

Ashton could feel Luke’s smile against his shoulder.

“Hey, Ashton?”

“Yes?”

“Might be weird, but I’m glad it was you who stumbled into our territory that night.”

Ashton looked into the flames smouldering in the chimney, felt the warmth on his face and hands, Luke’s head heavy on his upper arm. “Yeah, me too. Me too. ”

*

Ashton was awoken by the kitchen door opening. It was dark in the living room when he pried his eyes open. The fire in the chimney had ceased to ashes and soot. At the other end of the sofa, Luke was passed out soundly, his feet wedged between the backrest of the sofa and Ashton’s ribs.

Ashton let his eyes flutter close when he heard footsteps approaching. He reopened his eyes a fraction, peered through the slits. Luke’s feet against his ribs twitched when Michael began carding a hand through the blond’s hair.

Michael himself was leaning over the backrest, his bare upper body leaving little droplets of mud on the leather of the chesterfield as he did so. His purple hair was ruffled, wet from the rain outside.

“Your hands are cold,” Luke rasped out after half a minute, his voice slow and raspy from sleep.

“Sorry.”

“That doesn’t mean you are allowed to stop.”

Ashton let his eyes fall close as he saw Michael pick the head-rubbing back up.

“Find anything?” Luke’s tone was low and cautious.

“No,” Michael sighed, “I mean, Calum’s still out there, but…”

“Don’t say it. Don’t even think about it!”

“I am not!” Michael whisper-shouted back. Ashton suppressed a smile. It made him feel warm, that Luke and Michael were considerate of him sleeping. Ashton had almost drifted back off to sleep when Michael spoke up again. “So what did you and Ashton do while me and Cal were roaming the woods? Did you have a good evening?”

“I told Ashton the great big story of how my scars came to be.”

Ashton could feel Michael’s gaze lay on him before it settled back on Luke, “Oh.”

“Don’t do that. I hate it when you when you frown.”

“‘m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

Ashton could hear a bit of a commotion. Then Luke said, “You know it wasn’t your fault, Michael.”

There was a beat of silence, then “I love you, you know that, right?”

“Give me your heart and I will give you my hand,” Luke recited a phrase that Ashton didn’t know, but that he didn’t have to know in order to understand that it held meaning for Michael and Luke.

Ashton squeezed his eyes shut tight, pretended to sleep-drunkenly mumble when Luke’s foot kicked him in the knee as he was hoisted up. Ashton waited until Luke and Michael were gone before he sat up, threw the blanket off of him and padded with bare feet into the kitchen. The door creaked as he cracked it open, slipped out of the house and onto the back porch. Ashton settled on the back porch steps. He surveyed the clearing behind the house before he lifted his gaze to the sky. Calum’s words rang through his mind like an echo, _The night sky belongs to the wolves._ Ashton smiled. The night sky belonged to him.


	21. mangata

_mångata [maan-gatta]_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. the glimmering, roadlike reflection that the moon casts onto the water_

 

Ashton gasped as his head broke through the surface of the water and air streamed back into his lungs, just before he was pulled under yet again. From below, Ashton could see the light of the beacon hitting the surface. He tried to focus on that as he began to paddle towards it. Ashton’s eyes and mouth stung from the salt, his movements becoming more sluggish the longer he struggled against the waves. He couldn’t do it. He had never done it. In this ocean, he was a rag doll being thrown around.

Ashton felt his movements slow along with his thoughts, but he didn’t give up. Not yet. His muscles spasmed with the cold and the light hit the water. But this time the cone of light became bigger, instead of moving along. By the time Ashton had realised what was happening, it was already too late.

Ashton broke through the surface again, just in time to have the deafening creaking and groaning make his chest vibrate as the beacon fell, tons and tons of metal bending until they broke and the beacon crashed into the sea, it’s light flickering under water for just a second before ceasing completely.

Ashton saw the tidal wave coming, ripples building up to a house-high wall of water. Unable to do anything else, Ashton let it take him up and with it. He had tried to hold his nose and keep his mouth pressed shut but to no avail. He was surrounded by water. All sense of direction lost, he was thrown around.

And then it was over, as rapidly as it had started. Ashton’s body collided with firm yet soft ground. He had landed on all fours. His arms gave up underneath his weight and his face hit the ground, the salt in his mouth mixing with grains as he swallowed a mouthful of sand. Faintly, Ashton registered that he had made it to the shore. He could hear the waves crash but he wasn’t encompassed by water anymore. Darkness tinged his vision as he tried to open his eyes, so he abandoned the attempt and let his body still. His conscience slipped away with the last of his energy, and he spiralled into nothingness as his dream changed.

When Ashton came to, he found himself running. The muscles of his legs contracted untiringly, let the world around him blur as he sprinted past. There was no more water in his lungs or salt crusting his eyes. The whole sea was gone. Instead, he was surrounded by trees and brushwood. Nothing but the smell of undergrowth, bugs and leaves was filling his nose. An incredible sense of joy filled Ashton’s chest.

He laughed, or it would have been a laugh. What his throat produced sounded distinctivly more like a yap than anything else, sounded distinctivly more like a wolf. Ashton wasn’t surprised to find honey-coloured fur and paws as he looked down. Ashton wanted to slow to a halt, but he didn’t get a chance to. His changed shape had distracted him from his surroundings and he overlooked the bundle of roots in his way.

His paw caught in the tangled web of undergrowth and Ashton tripped, and tumbled to the ground. He rolled over several times before he stilled on his back. He could feel his hind leg bleed, where a fallen branch had cut him. The pain made the back of his head tingle, sizzle with energy and like that, Ashton jolted awake.

*

He was naked when he woke up. Panic made Ashton sit up rapidly, frantically look around. He wasn’t on the back porch steps anymore and the clothes he had worn were gone. Ashton’s head itched where twigs and leaves had tangled in his curls. A slight shiver run through his body as he scrambled to his feet. It were nerves, not the cold. Even without clothes and outside at the end of November, Ashton still felt comfortably warm. He tried to see it as a bonus.

Ashton had no idea where he was. The forest surrounding him didn’t look familiar in the least. Only the smell told him that it had to be in somewhat of a proximity to the house. Cursing under his breath, Ashton began to walk. A light wince escaped him as he put weight on his left foot. Upon inspection, Ashton found a crooked, red line of fresh skin curling around his ankle. The cut must have been deep, healed fully only minutes ago. Ashton’s stomach sunk. Then he began to run.

*

Calum, Michael and Luke were all alotted around the kitchen island when Ashton barged into the kitchen. Three heads whipped up, the spoon of Frosted Flakes Luke was guiding towards his mouth stopping halfway there. The three boys blinked at Ashton in unison.

The happiness of finally having made his way back faded momentarily as Ashton realised that he was still naked. He got over it pretty quickly. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other naked before.

Gasping for air, Ashton propped his hands on his knees and tried to breathe.

“Ashton!”

Ashton held a finger up in order to get the others to wait until he didn’t feel like he was losing a lung anymore. Echoes of worry and confusion hit his chest. Ashton couldn’t blame them. He probably looked like a jungle child with dirt all over him and twigs in his hear.

“Just a second,” he wheezed out.

“I’m gonna get him some pants,” Luke mumbled and left the kitchen.

Ashton managed to shoot him a grateful smile as he walked past. Then he heaved himself into a vertical position. Both Calum and Michael took a step towards him.

“What happened?” Calum asked him, brows furrowed.

Ashton was about to answer when he realised he actually had no idea. “I don’t know.”

Calum let out a dissatisfied noise and stepped into his space, began roaming his fingertips all over Ashton while he circled him. Calum was searching for injuries, Ashton realised after a second.

“I fell asleep on the back porch, watching the stars and the next thing I know is I’m in the middle of nowhere and my clothes are gone.”

Calum thumb ghosted over the former wound on Ashton’s foot, faded to an almost invisible scar by now. Then he rightened his back to meet Ashton’s eyes. Ashton got distracted, for a moment, by the way the light caught in Calum’s eyes and made specs of gold and amber visible in his dark brown irides. Ashton wanted to sigh. Calum was so beautiful. Calum’s gaze softened slightly when he seemed to notice the lovestruck expression in Ashton’s eyes.

A pair of basketball shorts thrown at Ashton’s face interrupted their moment.

“Thanks, man,” Ashton told Luke, who grinned at him before he hoisted himself up on the kitchen counter. Ashton hurried to step into the fabric. As soon as he was somewhat clothed again, he felt better.

“I think I know, though, what happened,” Ashton looked down, slung his arms around himself. “I had a dream, that- I think I shifted in my sleep.” Ashton frowned, then he looked back up, “And I think I was conscious.”

*

“Ready?” Calum asked him, voice calm as always, but Ashton could see the worry in his eyes, and below that a spark of excitement.

“Yeah,” Ashton nodded and crouched down. He held Calum’s gaze as the alpha took several steps back, leaves and twigs crunching beneath his feet. Out of his peripheral vision Ashton watched the golden blond wolf to his right wag his tail, the rainbow-coloured one to his left shift his weight, digging his paws deeper into the ground.

Ashton shut them out, focussed solely on Calum’s eyes and the thrumming in his blood. A yellowish tint laid itself over his vision, as soon as he watched Calum’s eyes light up. They shifted at the same time.

Ashton had become faster at the shift, what had taken him minutes during the first time he had now down to nearly half of one. And he had been right. Ashton didn’t lose consciousness. He was fully aware of everything as he gained control over his new body, got used to the sensation of having four legs instead of two.

Ashton rose to his paws on shaking legs. He could feel the breeze jostling his fur, the woodwork crack beneath him as he took a step forward. Ashton had experienced the heightened senses as a human already, but it was a completely new experience as a wolf. The prioritisation of his sensory system seemed to have shifted along with him. He relied a whole lot more on his sense of smell and hearing than his eyes.

A cracking sound beneath him brought Ashton’s attention back to his surroundings. The big, black wolf in front of him tilted his head, tongue swiping over his snout. Ashton swayed his head around, found two more pairs of wolf eyes trained on him. They were waiting on him.

Slowly, Ashton took a step forward, then another one. Calum’s eyes narrowed as Ashton approached him. Calum widened his stance, his ears twitching. The alpha wolf was wary of him.

Ashton came to a halt when he was only a foot away. Ashton knew he had to be quick.

In one fluid motion he jumped forward, bit Calum on the muzzle softly and then jumped back. Calum fell onto his hind legs in surprise. If Ashton would have still been human, he would have laughed. The sight was too comical.  

Ashton could see the realisation unfold in Calum’s deep brown eyes. He watched as a growl made it’s way up Calum’s body. The ground and Ashton’s whole body vibrated with it as Calum sat up slowly, bared his fangs. But Ashton recognised the behaviour at what it was. Calum gave him a single bark as a warning.

Ashton ran, but he didn’t make it farther than a couple of metres until Calum had overtaken him. Leaves and dirt flew into the air when the black wolf’s paws dug into the ground and he made Ashton slither to a halt with a snarl. Instinctively, Ashton lowered his head and upper body to the ground.

Calum strut over to him, familiar eyes sizing Ashton up as the black wolf tilted his head, contemplating. Ashton closed his eyes, pried them open again, however, when he felt the light press of teeth around his muzzle. Calum bit down harder than he had, but not hard enough to inflict any pain.

Ashton yipped, just because he could and he could almost see the exasperated eyeroll Calum would have been doing if he could have. The satisfaction going along with it hit Ashton’s chest as an echo. Gently, he nudged his nose against the side of Calum’s head as soon as the alpha wolf had backed away a step. Calum reciprocated the gesture and a second later, Ashton was buried beneath heaps of fur, black and golden and rainbow-coloured. He felt the love, the same way he had felt it as a human when his pack had made him the centre of their cuddle pile.

A light pressure against the back of his skull was the only warning he received, and then Calum’s voice resonated within his head. Just a single word, encompassing what all the wolves around him were already telling him, _Welcome._


	22. winter solstice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Different things were supposed to happen in this chapter, but then pack feels took over and this got twice as long as usual and all that got pushed into the next chapter. So to the people that I told differently, don't worry it's still up next! All the love ❤️

_winter solstice [win-ter sol-stai-s]_

_noun, singular form_

_1\. the solstice on or about December 21st that marks the beginning of winter in the Northern Hemisphere_

 

There was a foot-high blanket of snow piling up on his door mat that covered his front yard when Ashton pushed open his front door. He was glad that they had paid the gas bill for the heating in November already and so would be able to make it through the last days of December until the new year without any complications. Quickly, before any more of the precious heat from inside his house could vanish into the freezing evening’s air, Ashton grabbed his backpack from its place next to the shoe rack and threw the door shut behind him.

He turned to lock the door twice. Lauren would spent the holidays on a skiing trip with her class, Harry would stay the night at one of his friends’ house for a birthday sleepover and his mom was working a double shift (holiday season meant more than twice as many patients hitting the ER than usual.) Ashton was glad it was that way, so he didn’t have to have a bad conscious for leaving.

“Nice sweater,” Ashton commented as he climbed onto the passenger seat of the Jeep.

Michael scowled at him, rubbing a hand over the brightly-coloured, LED-illuminated reindeer sewn onto the front of his christmas sweater. Then his scowl turned into a malicious grin, “Oh, just you wait. Yours is already waiting for you under the tree.”

Ashton paled, “Uh, I get one too?”

“Of course,” Michael turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb, “everyone gets one. It’s part of the ceremony.”

Ashton nodded. He had come to know that _the ceremony_ was something that was taken very seriously by the pack.

Nonetheless, he buried his face in his hands. “How bad is it?”

“Depends,” Ashton could hear the suppressed and unarguably devious laughter in Michael’s voice, “how much do you like dancing elves?”

With a groan, Ashton slouched deeper into his seat and dumped his head against the passenger window. Michael patted him on the shoulder amicably. They spent the rest of the drive in silence, or it would have been silence, if it weren’t for the ear-splitting R.E.M Michael was blasting. Ashton’s ears were still ringing by the time Michael had steered the car into its parking spot in the barn. The distillery greeted him with a cacophony of bubbling sounds and whistles. Someone who was probably Mali as she was the only one who could cross the aconite border had strung fairy lights around the cauldrons and pipes.

“Happy Winter Solstice!” Luke greeted them when Ashton and Michael entered the house through the kitchen door. The blond boy was leaning over a humongous pot filled with what Ashton smelled to be mulled wine. The front of Luke’s sweater was endowed with a blinking penguin.

Ashton laughed. “Happy Almost Christmas to you, too!”

“Did you bring your Secret Santa gift?”

Ashton lifted his backpack, dutifully, “Sure did. How’s the mulled wine coming along?”

“Better as soon as he has added this,” that was Mali, entering the kitchen in that very moment. She was holding a sleek, silver flask in her hand. “This is my christmas brew, especially developed for pubescent werewolves. I trust you not to indulge too much.”

“We would never,” stated Calum, coming in after her.

For a moment, Ashton got distracted by the blinking dog in a santa hat that was on the front of his sweater. It was almost funny, how the other boy was dressed in probably the most ridiculous outfit possible, yet still managed to make Ashton’s insides flutter.

Ashton smiled at Calum, receiving a wink in return.

“Sure you won’t,” Mali sighed and placed the flask on the kitchen counter. Then she turned towards Calum and began wrapping the scarf she had loosely hung around her neck more tightly around it. “Have a good winter solstice. Tom and I are going to the movies, but I’ll keep my phone on vibrate.”

The corners of Calum’s mouth curled upwards when Mali pressed a kiss to her brother’s cheek. “See you later, boys!”

“Bye!” Ashton and Luke sang in unison, while Calum smiled silently and Michael tried to sneak up on the platter of cookies Luke had placed next to the stove.

“Take that cookie and you will lose the hand.” Luke smiled without turning away from the door.

Michael growled, lowly, but retracted his hand and swung himself on top of the kitchen counter instead. They started bickering after that, like they usually did, and Ashton decided to leave them to it. He picked his backpack up from where he had placed it on the floor and sauntered into the living room. Ashton smiled when he felt Calum’s presence follow him.

The living room, too, had fallen victim to an abundance of tinsel and fairy lights. The whole room smelled like fir and star anise. In the corner, right in front of the windows, they had put up a christmas tree. Its tip was touching the ceiling. Ashton made a beeline for it, pulling the zipper of his backpack open.

“You know, you’re not allowed to look.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

Ashton could hear the amusement in Calum’s voice. For a moment, he could feel the alpha’s fingertips graze the back of his neck before Calum retreated onto one of the sofas. Ashton made sure Calum was dutifully looking away, that mischievous smile still playing on his face, before he retrieved the gift he had brought and placed it under the tree.

Ashton had known the moment he had drawn Calum’s name from the hat what he wanted to get the other boy. The twenty dollar limit they had set for their Secret Santa just so allowed him to pull through.

Making sure that the side where he had scribbled Calum’s name on the wrapping was facing the floor, Ashton pulled himself to his feet, just to be spun around and then Calum was in front of him, pressing their lips together.

Ashton went rigid in surprise for only a moment before he went pliant in Calum’s arms and laid his hand against Calum’s cheek, kissing him back.

“What was that for?” Ashton asked as soon as they broke for air.

“Mistletoe,” Calum grinned, jutting his thumb at the twig of green hanging above their heads, dangling from a branch of the christmas tree.

Ashton grinned. “Smooth, Hood.”

“Dinner, Hood,” Luke grumbled from where was dumping a huge casserole dish onto the dinner table. Michael was hovering behind him, a guilty expression on his face and a few cookie crumbs on his chin.

Calum laughed before he pulled Ashton to the table.

“Luke,” Michael whined, but the blond boy simply huffed as he walked past the purple-haired boy, deliberately stepping onto the older boy’s foot as he disappeared back into the kitchen. Michael sighed at the ceiling before he ran after Luke.

“You look good,” Calum complimented Ashton, softly, gathering Ashton’s attention. Ashton was about to thank him, willing the burning of his cheeks to go away, when he noticed the devilish glint in Calum’s eyes. “Alas,” added the alpha boy and retrieved a middle-sized, expertly wrapped parcel from the chair that Ashton had planned to sit on, “you’re still not dressed, appropriately.”

Ashton groaned, but took the parcel. He extended a single claw to dig into the package, careful not to slice into the fabric he knew waited for him inside. Michael hadn’t lied. There were an array of dancing elves on the front of his christmas sweater. With a tiny switch that was sewn into the collar, he could make them light up.

“Where did you even get these?” Ashton asked as he pulled the sweater over his head and smoothed it out over the black button-down he was wearing.

“Michael’s mom makes them. The Cliffords take the whole holiday season very seriously.”

“Yes, we do,” Michael said as he reentered the room, a steaming bowl in hand.

Luke, still a bit pouting but obviously more consoled than before, set down another two pots and planted himself in the chair opposite of Ashton. Ashton smiled at him and Luke beamed.

“Alright, everyone,” Calum said, as soon as Michael had sat down as well. He stood up gracefully, despite the blinking dog on his chest.

“Aw,” Luke cooed, “are you going to give a speech?”

“Shut up, Luke,” Michael mumbled. Luke bared his teeth at him, but Calum intervened before they could start bickering again.

“What I wanted to say,” Calum said loudly, “is that I love you all,” Calum looked at each of them, his eyes twinkling when they met Ashton’s, “and I could not have asked for a better pack. You guys are my family. So, to pack!”

“To pack,” they echoed and clinked their glasses together.

The muscles of Ashton’s jaw contracted against the initial bitterness of the mulled wine. After a moment, however, his taste buds got used to it and he took another big gulp. Ashton savoured the warm jolts that it sent down his spine. Calum sat back down and they dug into their meals.

“Wow,” Ashton let out a moan of appreciation as soon as he had swallowed the first bite. “This is really good.”

“Thank you,” Michael preened. “It’s my mom’s recipe.”

“Oh,” Ashton felt his eyebrows raise. “I didn’t know you cooked.”

“He doesn’t,” Luke snorted, raising his wine glass. “Mike stood by and _tasted_ while I did the whole cooking.”

Michael’s mouth dropped open. Half-chewed food on display, he stared at Luke for a couple of seconds. Luke raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, took a sip of wine and set his glass back down. Slowly, Michael closed his mouth, swallowed and pressed his lips into a tight line.

“Excuse us for a moment,” Michael directed at Ashton and Calum.

Then, like a human-sized Jack in the Box, Michael jumped up, his chair screeching over the parquet. Luke raised his arms in defense, but to no avail. Slinging his arms around him from behind, Michael hoisted the blond boy out of his chair and, ignoring Luke’s yells of bloody murder and strategically placed kicks to the shin, made a beeline for the sofas.

Ashton wasn’t all that concerned about the whole ordeal. He knew that if Luke actually wanted to be free, he would be sitting back on his chair by now, Michael a twitching mess on the ground. Ashton had seen how Luke had handled the hunter Diego.

Luke landed on the middle sofa with a thump, Michael planting himself on top of the other boy right after, effectively immobilising him. Michael caught Luke’s thrashing hands, slid his hands lower until he was circling Luke’s wrists and pressed Luke’s arms to his chest, folding himself down on top of him, so their faces were only half an arm’s length apart. Luke seethed at the purple-haired boy, but Ashton could see the glimmer of levity in Luke’s bright blue eyes.

“Would you stop bitching?” Michael whisper-yelled at Luke, any anger that his voice might have carried drowned out by the fond that was dripping from every word. “You’re being insufferable and it’s Almost Christmas, my favourite holiday.”

“That’s your fucking fault!” Luke bit back. “You ate the cookies even though I explicitly told you not to.”

“I am not having an argument with you over cookies,” Michael laughed.

“This is not about the cookies, they are just the tip of the ice berg! It’s about the principle - ow!”

The backrest of the sofa blocked the view of whatever Michael had done to Luke. All Ashton could see was the purple-haired pressing his face into the crook of Luke’s shoulder. When Michael resurfaced, Luke growled at him.

Michael growled right back, baring his teeth. Ashton couldn’t tell who of them started cracking up first, but suddenly the two of them were cackling, laughing until their breaths ran out. Michael and Luke’s arguments, Ashton figured, were a lot like strucks of lightning. Short, high-voltaged charges of energy that were destructive but left the air clear.

“You done now?” Michael asked, eventually.

“I’ll get you back for that,” Luke huffed, but all annoyance was gone from his voice. “One day, when you will least expect it.”

Michael grinned and rolled himself off of the blond boy before extending his hand. Luke forewent it and hoisted himself over the backrest of the sofa instead, landing smoothly on his feet. Michael let out an overly scandalised gasp before he followed Luke, walking _over_ the couch instead of around it. He tackled the blond boy from behind, wrapping his arms around Luke’s torso and smothering the side of his face in sloppy kisses.

“Ew, Michael, no, stop it!”

“Say you love me, first!”

“Get off of me!”

“Say it!”

“Fine!” Luke scowled at him, but Ashton could see the overflowing adoration in his eyes. “I love you.”

“Great,” Michael beamed, “I love you too.” He whispered into the younger boy’s ear, causing Luke to turn bright red. Then he let him go in favour of circling him so he was standing in front of Luke. With a quick peck to the lips and an entirely too pleased smile, Michael rightened the collar of the dress shirt Luke was wearing beneath his sweater. Then he turned around, sauntered back to the dinner table as if nothing had ever happened. Luke, after some more seconds of recollection, followed him.

Calum snorted as soon as their two friends had returned to their seats, and forked another piece of roasted chicken from his plate before he shoved it into his mouth. Ashton just smiled to himself and shook his head.

The rest of the dinner went by without any more love wrestling incidents. By the time the last bowl and pot was cleared, Ashton was pretty sure he was seconds from bursting. Gratefully, he jumped on Calum’s suggestion of relocating to the sofas.

“Cut me open,” Ashton groaned as he lowered himself onto the Chesterfield near the windows. Calum chuckled as he lifted Ashton’s legs to sit down on the couch next to him before he draped Ashton’s feet back into his lap.

“You shouldn’t have eaten so much.”

“I take it as a compliment,” Luke said from where he was gathering their Secret Santa gifts from under the tree and put them on the coffee table.

“Your cooking was impeccable,” Michael hurried to ensure him.

“Extract your head from his ass, would you,” Calum sighed, knowing he was fighting a lost cause. Ashton could feel his jaw drop before he quickly snapped it back shut. Calum cursed so rarely that it always startled Ashton when it happened. As if hearing the host of a kid’s show pop out some expletives.

Michael just blew Calum a kiss, then he flopped himself down on the floor between the middle sofa and the coffee table.

“Okay, okay, who wants first?”

“Me,” Michael said.

“Ashton,” Calum said, winning the staring match with Michael within seconds. “It’s his first year, it’s only fair.”

Michael grumbled something that suspiciously sounded like _“Just because he sucks your dick…”_ but Luke was already handing a small, book-sized parcel to Ashton. It had his name written in gold sharpie on elegant, sky blue paper and Ashton smiled at Luke.

He took the effort of sitting up properly, before he tore into the wrapping paper. It wasn’t a book, like he had expected, but a pack of…

“Vanilla scented candles?” Ashton asked.

“I know you enjoy them a lot,” Luke preened at him. “You mentioned it one night when Mali was testing her incense on us.”

Ashton laid a hand on his heart. He was touched, that Luke had memorised that. “That’s… thanks, man.”

Luke lowered his head in a no problem gesture, obviously satisfied that his gift was liked.

“I’m next!” Michael exclaimed and Luke slapped his hands away before picking up a sleek, dark green gift and handing it to him.

“Pokémon for the Playstation 1?”

“Found it in a thrift shop,” Calum said. “We played it a summer long in second grade, remember? I checked and it works on your PS4.”

Michael looked at the game in his hands, looked at Calum and for a moment Ashton thought the purple-haired boy was going to tear up.

“I love you, man. I’m too lazy to get up and cuddle you, but I definitely love you.”

Calum smiled at him. He rasped his knuckles over his chest. “I feel the love.”

Michael smiled back, an exchange between them happening that didn’t require words.

Then Michael picked up a white, non-descriptive envelope and handed it to Luke. “Here you go, you Grinch.”

Luke’s eyebrows rose slightly, but he took the envelope, curiosity overtaking his expression as he thumbed it open along the slit. As soon as he had torn the envelope open, a plain paper fell out, folded once in the middle. Luke picked it up from where it had landed on his lap and unfolded it. His eyes moved steadily over the paper as he read and then looked up at Michael.

“When?”

“After this,” Michael smiled at him, almost excitedly.

Luke nodded, joy taking over his face and then he was hugging Michael, squealing into his shoulder. Michael laughed and patted his back before eventually Luke had calmed and returned to his original position.

“Time for the alpha,” Luke’s giddiness made his words come out more squeaky than usual.

Ashton leaned forward and bit his lip as he watched Calum take his gift. Calum’s eyes widened when the last scrap of wrapping fell and revealed the book beneath.

Calum swallowed and looked up at Ashton, “You got me a book about astrology?”

“100 Cool Facts about Outer Space,” Ashton grinned. “You love stars and I thought it would match your 100 Spices and Plants book.”

Calum stared at him. The smile that slowly but surely made the corners of his mouth curl upwards was small, but so intimate that it made Ashton’s cheeks heat up. Calum’s eyes crinkled at the edges as he pressed the book against his chest.

“I think what our dear Cal is failing to say right now is that he likes it,” Michael provided from his spot on the floor.

Calum kicked him, blindly.

Michael yelped, and then hoisted himself into a sitting position. “Asshole.”

Calum finally pried his eyes away from Ashton and looked at Michael. He poked his tongue out at the purple-haired boy. Grumbling, Michael pulled himself to his feet and took Luke’s hand, pulling him up with him.

“You’re lucky I have better things to do or I would kick your ass, Hood.”

“Michael,” Luke reprimanded, but Calum just chuckled. “Have fun on your date.”

Michael flipped him off on his way into the kitchen.

“Thank you, we will,” Luke said on behalf of the purple-haired boy.

“What are you going to do?” Ashton asked.

“Michael’s present is an event in the woods for me,” Luke explained. “He set it up so we can go there tonight.”

“More precisely now,” Michael added and handed Luke his jacket.

“Are you guys okay with us leaving?”

Ashton accredited Luke that the blond boy tried hard to keep his excitement at bay.

“Yeah,” Ashton laughed, waving his hand. “Shoo, shoo.”

Luke and Michael made a beeline for the kitchen. Luke had already stepped outside, when Michael turned back around and met Calum’s gaze. Slowly, Michael tilted his head upwards, baring his throat. Calum’s eyes lit up golden as he waved the other boy off, a tiny smile forming on his lips. With that Michael was gone, pulling the door shut behind him and Luke.


	23. entity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a huge, super mega shoutout to [ashirtwit on tumblr](http://ashirtwit.tumblr.com/) who made an [amazing gifset]() for this fic. (You should definitely look at it, it made me cry.)
> 
> Disclaimer: Boys touching other boys. *mixes half a bottle of holy water with half a bottle of vodka, shakes and takes a sip* Yes, oh yes.

_entity_

_noun, plural entities_

_1\. something that exists as a particular and discrete unit_

_2\. the fact of existence, being_

 

“Last one,” Calum announced and Ashton let out a “Thank god." Calum shook his head at him with an amused smile as he handed Ashton the plate he had just rinsed.

Ashton might have been pleasantly buzzed. As Luke and Michael had strategically fled the scene to have their date in the woods, Ashton and Calum had spent the past half an hour doing the dishes of their winter solstice dinner. To make the whole thing more fun Calum had retrieved two wine glasses and in between rinsing bowls and plates and cutlery, they had steadily emptied the pot of mulled wine Luke and Mali had concocted.

“What now?” Ashton asked as soon as he had toweled off the plate and placed it on the stack with its counterparts.

Calum enclosed Ashton’s hands with his, rubbed his hands dry on the towel Ashton was still holding before taking it from him and throwing it on the kitchen counter. The action coaxed another giggle out of Ashton’s mouth. He was happy, simply because he was here, in this very moment, with Calum next to him and not a worry on his mind.

Calum took his hand, gingerly lifting it to his mouth before pecking each of Ashton’s knuckles. The gesture was simple, but made warmth spread over Ashton’s cheeks. Calum grazed his teeth over the middle digit of Ashton’s index finger, his eyes a dark, glowing amber in the kitchen light. He held Ashton’s gaze as he did so. Ashton could hear his own breath hitch. Calum grinned and bit him lightly there before he intertwined their fingers and let their hands drop in order to pull Ashton out of the kitchen and into the living room. Ashton settled himself down on the couch with a deep, content sigh, while Calum made a beeline for the chimney. Ashton seized the opportunity to let his eyes roam over Calum’s very well-shaped backside while the other boy bent down to push new logs into the fire.

As soon as he was done, Calum let himself fall back into one, swift motion, sprawling himself out on the shaggy rug in front of the chimney. Ashton watched him for a second before he averted his gaze and reached for his backpack. He struggled with the zipper before he had managed to pull out his battered copy of The Great Gatsby.

Mr Oliver, his English Lit teacher, was on him at the moment. Ashton had been slacking off in school during the past few months. It wasn’t completely his fault, really. In between juggling school, homework, his family and his newfound life as a werewolf, Ashton struggled to find the right amount of time for all of it. In most of his classes his mental absence didn’t really make a difference. English Lit, normally one of his best classes, was an exception.

“What are you reading?”

Ashton looked up to find Calum staring at him with half-lidded eyes.

“Book for school.”

Calum frowned at him, “Come here instead.” He patted the piece of rug next to him.

“I can’t. I have to have read this after the break.”

Calum jutted out his bottom lip. “Bring your book with you then.”

At Ashton’s raised eyebrow, Calum smiled innocently. “I won’t distract you, I promise.”

Ashton stared at him for a couple of seconds, Calum’s smile unfaltering. Eventually, he gave up and hoisted himself up with a sigh.

“Fine.”

Calum grinned, brightly. He grabbed Ashton’s hand as soon as Ashton was within reach and pulled the curly-haired boy on top of him. Ashton let out an oof as he landed with his face pressed into Calum’s chest. Before Calum could wrap his arms around him, Ashton rolled off of him, a respectable arm’s length away.

“Stay there,” Ashton growled at the alpha before raising his book and making himself more comfortable on the rug. It was comfortably plush, Ashton had to give Calum that.

Calum, ignoring Ashton’s order, scooted closer until he could rest his chin on Ashton’s shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could see Calum examine the side of his face, then Calum let his head loll back so he, too, could look at the book Ashton was steadily holding up.

Ashton had been reading the first sentence for over two minutes now. Determined not to let Calum distract him, he started for the seventh time. He could feel Calum reading along over his shoulder. Ashton had made it about three paragraphs in when Calum let out a deep sigh and repositioned himself. Ashton furrowed his brows and read on.

“This is boring. That doesn’t even make sense. If he loves her so much, why doesn’t he just tell her.”

“That’s the point of the book.”

Calum huffed. “It’s a bad book then.”

“It’s one of the most significant-- ugh, you know what? Fine.” Ashton shut the book and threw it on the coffee table. “Satisfied?”

Ashton tried hard to suppress the smile that wanted to take over his face at the sight of Calum’s shit-eating grin.

“A little.”

Ashton glowered at him, but it was hard to keep up the façade with Calum’s hand sneaking up on his stomach, his thumb moving in soothing circles.

“You’re unbearable,” Ashton muttered, but shuffled around until he could bed his head onto Calum’s chest. Calum’s heartbeat was steady against his ear, a tad faster than that of a normal human being and completely in sync with Ashton’s. Ashton let out a consoled hum when he felt Calum press a kiss into his hair. Calum’s thumb resumed its task on Ashton’s back. The echo that hit Ashton’s chest was dripping with mischief and satisfaction.

Ashton blinked lazily, the warmth of the chimney and Calum’s body getting the better of him. It felt like the calming effect Calum usually had on him had tripled. He relished every second of it. To busy himself Ashton began to study the row of books on the shelf closest to his head. It were books the size of his abdomen, leather-bound tombs with gold-imprinted titles.

“Hey, Calum?” Ashton asked after a while. He had studied the titles of the books. Not one of them made sense to him. “Why Latin? I mean, you speak it and the hunters do, too, like... is there a reason?”

He could feel Calum smile above him. “We speak Latin because the Roman Empire was founded by two of the first werewolves we know of.“

Ashton turned his head, so he could rest his chin on Calum’s breastbone, shot him a questioning look. “Who?”

This time, he saw Calum smile, “Romulus and Remus, twin brothers raised by Lupa, the she-wolf. They were the founders of the city of Rome and born slaves of the moon. Most scripts, including the really, really old stuff is written in Latin and, well, the hunters are all about traditions and fancy old stuff. If you ask him about it, Luke can tell you about how his bloodline reaches back nearly two millenia.”

“And then he went and totally ruined it."  Ashton couldn’t help but giggle, almost hysterically. He had learned pretty quickly that taking the comedic approach to the situation was the best way to go. It was too terrifying otherwise, imagining Luke making all the decisions he had made before he had reached puberty.

Calum shook his head, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Thankfully the headhuntress still has two sons left who abide by her every word.”

The thought of Jack and especially Ben Hemmings and his crossbow sobered Ashton up instantly. Calum seemed to sense his mood drop, or maybe felt it as an echo (Ashton hadn’t quite figured out how to send an echo or prohibit one from being sent yet,) and skillfully steered their conversation away from the topic, “I learned Latin because my mother thought it would help me become a better werewolf.”

“I think you are a great werewolf.”

Ashton didn’t notice until nearly a full minute after he had said them that Calum had gone silent at his words. Alarmed, he looked up to find Calum staring at him, mouth slightly ajar and the whole of his face a deep crimson colour. Eventually, Calum flipped them over so their positions were reversed, the alpha half on top of Ashton instead of vice versa.

Calum searched Ashton’s eyes for a couple of seconds before his own lit up. Calum bared his teeth and Ashton watched Calum’s teeth elongate. Ashton watched the features of the boy he loved shift into more animalistic ones and almost out of reflex, he raised his hand. He stroked over the crease between Calum’s brows and watched it smooth out. Then he cradled Calum’s cheek in his hand.

“Calum,” Ashton whispered and like that Calum’s features shifted back.

Calum’s eyelids fluttered close as he said, “You know, there is this old English myth. It says that if a beloved, someone who truly loves and trusts the werewolf, if that beloved calls the beast by its name, then the wolf turns back into a human.”

Ashton felt his cheeks heat up as Calum opened his eyes, his face entirely human again.

“Do you mean,” Ashton swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, “that I am your beloved?”

Calum leaned down, let his breath ghost over the side of Ashton’s face as he gently pressed a kiss to the spot where Ashton’s ear connected with his head. “I do. I love you.”

Ashton had expected the confession to hit him like a sledgehammer. Instead, it was molten gold that flooded his veins and warmed him up from his core all the way into his fingertips.

Slowly, he turned his head so he could catch Calum’s lips with his own. He pressed his lips to Calum’s, nothing more and nothing less, before he pulled away. “I love you, too.”

Calum smiled at him and Ashton could feel what the other boy felt. Calum’s joy mixed with his own. It was almost inebriating. Calum kissed him, slipped his tongue into Ashton’s mouth and nudged his lips further open. Ashton let him. It was brilliant, the feeling of their tongues sliding against each other. It made the back of Ashton’s head prickle.

“Arch your back for me,” Calum murmured breathlessly in between kisses and Ashton lifted his upper body off the ground. Immediately, Calum’s hands fell to his love handles. Calum slipped his hands beneath his sweater and tugged Ashton’s dress shirt out of his waistband. He scratched his nails over the bare small of Ashton’s back, making Ashton squirm in pleasure before pushing the fabric up, up and over Ashton’s head.

Calum hurried to discard his own sweater as soon as he had rid Ashton of his. The moment he was topless, Calum’s eyes snapped back to Ashton as if he was bound by magnetism to do so. Calum looked down at him, an almost hungry expression in his eyes and Ashton couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach. He pulled Calum back down, slotted their mouths together. It was different this time. There was nothing gentle, or innocent, about the way they licked into each others’ mouths. It was almost dizzying.

With a low moan, Ashton scratched his nails down Calum’s back, coaxing a growl out of him. Calum pressed himself closer to him and Ashton further up the rug. Ashton gasped lightly when Calum’s thigh pressed harder against his crotch. The other boy’s hands roamed Ashton’s body like he wanted to worship every detail and Ashton’s breathing became more ragged.

Calum’s lips were addictive and he couldn’t pull away, but heat was rapidly pooling in his stomach and his jeans were getting more uncomfortable by the minute. Calum’s hands came to his aid, slapping Ashton’s away and undoing his belt for him. Ashton struggled out of his jeans, kicking them off his feet before he reached for Calum’s fly. Calum didn’t let their mouths disconnect.

Ashton palmed the other boy’s crotch and it set off jolts of excitement at the bottom of his spine when he felt the outline of Calum’s cock through his pants. He had done that. It was a whole new feeling of power. He could make Calum hard. Ashton could make Calum want him as much as Ashton wanted Calum. Ashton felt exhilarated.

He moaned when Calum’s lips wandered to his neck. In retaliation, he pushed Calum’s trousers down until they were pooling around his knees and wrapped his fingers around the waistband of Calum’s boxers, toying with the elastic fabric. Calum let out a guttural noise, urging him on, and Ashton obliged happily. He slipped his hands into Calum’s boxers and wrapped a loose hand around Calum’s cock. Ashton could feel the hot flesh swell in his hand, knew he wasn’t better off. Calum bucked his hips into his hands, a low curse falling from his lips when Ashton tightened his grip, began pumping his hand up and down.

“Fuck, Ashton.”

Ashton just grinned blissfully as Calum bit down on his shoulder hard enough to make electric pain erupt from the spot. Ashton lost his grip around Calum’s cock, though, when the other boy moved lower, moved down Ashton’s chest to his navel in pecks.

“Cal-Calum,” Ashton’s hand seized air when Calum reached his cock, pulled his boxer briefs down and put his mouth to Ashton’s dick. He felt an echo of Calum’s excitement, and most importantly the turned on haze in his chest. It set his skin on fire. Ashton’s mouth dropped open and a string of unintelligible vowels escaped him.

“Calum,” Ashton gripped the other boy’s shoulder. Calum pulled off of him with a pop. He seemed to instinctively know what Ashton needed. Ashton pushed Calum’s boxers down the same time Calum wriggled back up to reconnect their mouths. They moaned in unison when their cocks aligned.

“Need you,” Ashton pressed out when they broke for air. He curled his hand around the nape of Calum’s neck, trying to make him understand. “I need you inside of me.”

Calum startled in his grip. Ashton could _hear_ Calum’s heart skip a beat. And then Calum stopped, sat back on his heels and out of Ashton’s reach. Ashton almost cried out loud.

Instead, he whined, “No, come back.”

Calum stared at him, so intensely it made Ashton squirm.

“Think,” Calum pressed out, his voice still breathless from them making out. Ashton needed a moment to realise Calum spoke in a _begging_ manner. “Do you really want to?”

Ashton wanted to laugh because Calum was so ridiculous. He wanted to take Calum’s hand and just guide it to his throbbing cock, but he knew that was not what Calum needed, or meant.

“Yes,” he said, sincerely, and held Calum’s gaze, “yes, you beautiful, considerate bastard. I really want to.”

“No, Ash, I need you to think,” Calum looked at him intently, something like desperation in his eyes.  Almost bitterly, Calum wiped his spit-slick mouth with the back of his hand.

Ashton frowned, not understanding.

Calum kept his eyes trained on his hands as he explained, his smile mirthless, “I am your alpha, Ash. It’s your first instinct to please me. I need you to look beneath that like you did after the convention at the hunters'. Look as deep inside as you can. Do you want this? Do you-- do _you_ want to sleep with me?”

“Oh,” Ashton felt his gut clench. He had known that he always felt an urge to obey Calum, whatever the alpha boy asked of him, but he hadn’t know that it could go that far. And that it was influencing him subconsciously as well.

Ashton closed his eyes, furrowed his brows and tried to concentrate. Eventually, he looked back up at Calum, raised his thumb to smooth out the crease between Calum’s brows. Ashton cupped his hand around the squishy flesh of Calum’s cheek.

“I have wanted you since I first laid eyes on you,” Ashton smiled at the other boy. “I don’t know if you know that-- no, actually, I’m pretty sure that you know that-- but you looked like a god at the dawn of time, sitting on that boulder like a madman, shirtless in September. And I’ve been your pagan ever since, but that has nothing to do with the fact that I am also your beta. I’m in love with you.”

Calum grinned, his smile all crinkly-eyed, the one that Ashton loved.

“Okay." He nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna get stuff,” Calum whispered as he pecked Ashton’s lips. “Don’t move.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Ashton whispered back, earning himself another kiss before Calum pulled away and himself to his feet. Ashton couldn’t help the remorseful sigh that spilled over his lips as he let himself fall back onto the rug. The edges of Calum’s figure blurred as he vanished, returned not more than a couple of seconds later with a nondescript bottle and several foil packages in hand. Ashton thanked all the deities for wolf speed.

Calum settled in between his legs and discarded lube and condoms in favour of grabbing one of their sweaters and bunching it up. Ashton dutifully lifted his ass into the air, let Calum place it underneath the small of his back. Calum rewarded him with a quick peck to the lips before he picked the lube back up, ripped a foil square off the string.

Calum settled between his legs. Ashton closed his eyes when he heard the pop of the lube bottle being opened. And like that, Calum’s mouth was back on his cock, mouth along the vein at the underside it and Ashton moaned, lowly, his head driving back into the rug as Calum gripped his leg with one slick hand, hitched it around his waist, and began stroking Ashton’s rim with the other. Ashton wriggled against Calum’s teasing finger.

“Please,” he begged breathlessly, “Calum.”

It was all the encouragement Calum needed. Uttering soothing words, Calum folded himself over Ashton and pushed one finger in. Ashton gasped, but upon Calum’s concerned gaze, he just slung his arms around Calum’s neck and pulled the other boy down.

“C’mon,” he panted into Calum’s mouth. Calum moaned, and began circling his finger.

“More,” Ashton urged him on, “I swear, Cal, I can take it. Just-- please.”

Calum seemed to understand and nodded. Ashton was more than grateful for that. The heat coursing through his body got more intense, the further Calum worked him open.

Two, three and then, finally, Calum was pushing into him. Ashton tried hard to breathe against the initial burn of the stretch. Calum nibbled on his skin, doing his best to distract him. It was enough to help Ashton adjust. Mainly because Calum was so close and Ashton really needed him fully inside of him, otherwise, he might have died. All air rushed out of Ashton’s lungs when Calum bottomed out and stilled.

“Okay?” Calum asked, concern and the unveiled want to move, finally take Ashton, straining his voice. Ashton wasn’t quite there yet but he needed Calum to move more urgently. So he nodded, groaned when Calum pulled out and pushed back into him in one languid motion.

And Ashton held tight, tighter until his and Calum’s bodies were an entity and Ashton could do nothing but cling, cling against the waves of pleasure ripping through him with every thrust of Calum’ hips.

Praise dripped from Calum’s lips like waterfalls as he steadily picked up pace and Ashton pressed his eyes shut tight. He could see the other boy behind his closed eyes, still. Every detail of Calum’s face, every nuance of his complexion was edged into Ashton’s memory, imprinted into the back of Ashton’s eyelids.

Ashton let his eyes flutter back open, overwhelmed with the need to see Calum’s face, gauge his reaction. Calum was already looking at him, breath leaving his open mouth in pants as his hands carded through Ashton’s hair almost frantically. Ashton got lost in the dark pools of Calum’s eyes, too deep for him to ever resurface again.

“You,” Ashton panted out because it was the only word his mouth would form, the only thing on his mind. Calum looked at him and Ashton knew that Calum understood, understood everything Ashton so desperately tried to tell him.

Calum cradled his face and pressed their lips together, the same desperation driving him and making his hips snap up at an erratic pace. Heat was pooling into Ashton’s stomach rapidly, and his grip on Calum’s shoulders tightened.

“Cal, I’m-- fuck-- I’m close.”

Calum’s pupils were fully blown as he looked down at him. He didn’t let up for a fraction, seemingly determined to tip Ashton over the edge first and that thought alone was enough to make Ashton unravel. Arching his back off the ground, Ashton came, harder than he had ever come in his life and coated his and Calum’s stomach in white.

Calum rocked into him two, three, four more times and then he stilled, his grip on Ashton’s shoulder becoming tight enough to bruise, his nails nearly breaking Ashton’s skin and the single, desperate “Ash” he uttered was nearly enough to send Ashton straight over the edge again. Ashton didn’t know how long they remained into this position, glued together by sweat and come, just panting into each others’ mouths. A low wince escaped him when Calum eventually did pull out.

Ashton mourned the feeling of feeling full, the sudden emptiness making him feel incomplete. Ashton, who was still riding out the aftershocks of his orgasm and hence not having gathered all of his higher brain functions yet, didn’t protest when he felt Calum’s arms slip underneath him and hoist him up. How Calum was even able to walk right now was beyond him.

It wasn’t until he felt his body hit the plush softness of a comforter, that Ashton bothered to refocus on his surroundings. Ashton pried his eyes open to find himself watching Calum’s naked backside walk into what Ashton identified as the en suite of the other boy’s bedroom.

A couple of moments later, Calum reemerged with a wet cloth in hand. Ashton began stroking Calum’s upper arm as soon as he could reach it, lazily smiling up at the other boy. Calum smiled back and quickly wiped first Ashton and then himself off. As soon as he was done, he carelessly threw the washcloth through the open door of the bathroom and crawled into bed next to Ashton. Calum pulled the comforter up over both of them and Ashton wasted no time to throw his leg over Calum’s thigh, rest his head on the other boy’s chest.

After several minutes of just nibbling at the other boy’s neck, Calum’s hand running up and down his sides, Ashton pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Calum’s collar bone. “Hey, Cal?”

“Mhm?”

“That was good.”

Calum chuckled, slung his arms around the small of Ashton’s back and began to draw patterns into Ashton’s skin.

“Yeah,” he said softly, “it was.”

“We should do it again some time.”

This time, Calum laughed. “Yeah, we should.”

He looked down, his eyes gleaming with joy and love and that special kind of awe that was reserved for Ashton and Ashton alone. Calum puckered his lips and Ashton grinned as he leaned up, pecked Calum on the lips. With a content sigh, Calum let his head fall back on his pillow and Ashton did the same on his chest.

“Hey, Calum?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you do it? Turn me, I mean.”

Ashton didn’t dare raise his head to gauge Calum’s reaction. He had been wanting to ask this question for a long time. Somehow it was in this very moment that the words tumbled out of his mouth.

“You knew what would happen. All the trouble with the hunters and Aleko and… it would have been much easier for you if you would have let me die. Why did you turn me?”

An echo hit Ashton’s chest which was so careless and self-assured that it made Ashton look up afterall. Calum was smiling at him.

“Because I wanted to." The alpha’s voice was calm, collected as always, with a soft edge to it. Calum lifted his hand to push Ashton’s curls out of his face, causing Ashton’s mouth to curl into a smile. “Because I wanted you. That was the decision I made.”

Ashton nodded, content with that answer. He lowered his head back to Calum’s chest and closed his eyes. He didn’t know what ceased first, Calum’s fingers on his back or his fingers stroking Calum’s ribs. In the end, Ashton knew that it didn’t matter, because he was sure that they drifted off only seconds apart.

*

The morning dawn was already breaking by the time Luke and Michael made their way across the clearing, towards the back entrance of the house. The morning dew crunched beneath their feet.

Luke let out a wheeze as soon as they had reached the back porch and he was finally able to dump the abundance of blankets and duvets he had carried. Michael had used them to build him a bed in the woods. The purple-haired boy dropped his own pile right beside Luke’s and let out a low “Thank fuck, finally.”

Luke grinned and went to press a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. “Don’t swear. It was totally worth it.”

Michael smiled at him, the same smile that had made Luke swoon every day for the past five years. “For you, everything.”

Luke shook his head lightly and made a beeline for the back door. He was excited for the warmth of the house and the comfiness of his own bed. Luke’s face scrunched up, however, as soon as he had set foot into the kitchen. Michael, following right after him, was a lot more vocal about it.

“Oh my god, what the hell did they _do_ in here?” Michael glowered into the living room. “Jesus Christ, it just gets worse. Cal could have at least opened a window.”

Luke couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face, “I’m pretty sure preserving our olfactory nerves wasn’t quite a priority on his mind when it happened.”

Michael crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Still," he grumbled. “A little bit of consideration would have been nice. _We_ weren’t that bad.”

“True,” Luke agreed, “we were worse.”

“As if,” Michael huffed, fully aware that Luke was telling the truth. “It reeks like sex in here. We were so nice as to not soil any shared living spaces.” Then his expression turned into one of contemplation. “Hey, do you think Ashton passed out?”

Luke rolled his eyes, mumbling as he stepped farther into the living room “That was one time.”

Michael came up behind him and rounded the sofa. “At least they didn’t leave any visible traces.” He examined the couch upholstery before gingerly sitting down. Luke let himself flop down next to him, yawning. He was about to shoot a remark back, when he noticed the concerned expression on Michael’s face.

“Michael,” Luke admonished, “stop worrying.”

“I’m not-”

“Calum deserves this.” Luke waved a hand at the space between the chimney and the coffee table, undoubtedly the epicentre of the smell. “He was lonely, you know he was. Even if he pretended that he wasn’t. He’s so much happier now. I’m so happy he’s got Ashton. I’m very glad we found him.”

Michael sighed and let himself flop to the side, rested his head onto Luke’s thigh. Smiling, Luke began carding his fingers through the purple strands he loved so much.

“Yes, me too.”

They sat in silence for a while, both of them just watching the sun rise through the windows to their right.

“Do you wanna wake him?” Luke asked, after some time.

Michael shifted and buried his hand in the back pocket of his jeans. Together, they looked down at the scrap of fabric in his hand, the smell of it faint but distinct. Michael would have known that smell everywhere. He had spent a great part of his childhood surrounded by it. Luke, though not quite as familiar, picked it up as well. There was no doubt.

“We’ll tell him the moment he wakes up,” Michael said. “For now, we’ll let him sleep. He does that so rarely.”

Luke nodded, accepting Michael’s decision. He watched Michael place the floral printed scrap on the coffee table, carefully, like the treasure it was. Resuming his task of massaging Michael’s scalp, Luke averted his gaze back out of the window. He hoped Calum would wake up soon.


	24. trace

_trace [trais]_

_noun, plural traces_

_1\. a visible mark made or left by the passage of a person, animal, or thing_

_2\. evidence or an indication of the former presence or existence of something_

 

Ashton woke up to sunlight tickling his nose and the mattress next to him warm, but empty. Frowning and with his eyes still closed, Ashton extracted a hand and groped over the sheets. A light groan escaped him when he pried his eyes open. Apparently, the aconite didn’t only manage the simulate the drunkenness, but also the hangover. It was bearable, though, merely an unpleasant, dull pounding at the back of his head.

Yawning so hard his jaw cracked, Ashton rolled himself over and out of bed. There was no soreness in his muscles or his ass, and even the rug burn he was pretty sure he had gotten last night was nowhere in sight. Ashton rubbed the rosy skin of his back for a couple of seconds in amazement -- he was still getting used to the fact that it took him hours to heal scrapes and wounds, not days -- then he began searching Calum’s floor for clothes.

A light chuckle escaped Ashton when he found a neatly folded pile of basketball shorts, band tee and socks next to the door. Calum was so thoughtful. Ashton slipped into the clothes and, after having made sure that the mess on his head was somewhat tamed, made his way out of Calum’s room.

Ashton found Calum and Luke perched on the edge of the middle sofa in the living room. Michael was seated with his back to him, on the sofa closest to the wall, but Ashton didn’t have to be able to see the other boy to know that Michael shared the same serious expression the rest of his pack was bearing. Mali, who Ashton rarely saw outside of the greenhouse, was standing behind the sofa closest to the windows, her arms crossed in front of her chest. All their eyes were fixed on an object placed on the coffee table. Furrowing his brows in bemusement, Ashton took a step further into the room. The atmosphere was far too serious for his liking. His pack’s heads lifted in unison upon his entrance. Ashton tried to catch Calum's eyes, but the other boy wouldn't look at him. 

“What’s going on?” Ashton asked and, almost hesitantly, sat himself down on the armrest of the middle sofa. Calum smiled up at him, but his eyes were hollow. Ashton tried not to feel the sting. He knew this wasn’t about him.

There were several beats of tense silence before Mali took pity on him and explained, “Michael and Luke found something in the woods.”

“A trace,” Luke added.

Ashton frowned, looking at what seemed to be a frayed and dirty piece of cloth. Judging by the floral print on the fabric, it had once been part of a blouse, or something similar. Ashton looked around, then leaned forward.

“Can I?” Ashton felt the need to ask and, upon Mali’s nod, picked up the scrap.

“Smell it,” Michael said, “does it remind you of anything?”

Ashton blinked at him, then he looked back down at the fabric. He closed his eyes and focussed, took a deep breath. The first thing that hit him was something herbal yet flowery, pleasant. Ashton knew that smell. His aunt had gifted his mother a bottle of it once: Jil Sander.

“Perfume,” he said and pried his eyes back open.

Mali nodded, “Anything else?”

Ashton took another whiff. Besides the chemical smell of polyester, and much more faint than the perfume, there was iron and beneath that there was something sharp, stinging. Ashton had smelled that before. It took him a moment to remember what it was.

“Gun powder,” he said. “Gun powder and iron.”

Calum next to him let out what Ashton could only describe as half hysterical laugh and half snort. A heartbeat later, the raven-haired boy was on his feet, striding out of the room. Startled, Ashton watched him leave.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked as soon as Calum was gone.

Mali took the piece of fabric from him, a sympathetic look in her eyes. “I’m gonna start dissecting it, see if the gods of pipettes and Petri dishes can tell us something.”

Luke turned to look at him as soon as Mali was gone too. “It’s Joy’s.”

Ashton felt his stomach sink.

“We found it in the woods. It was buried under a lot of mud. It must have been there for weeks, maybe even since her disappearance. We searched the area, but there’s nothing.”

Ashton looked from Luke to Michael, who was staring intently at the ground, and back to Luke. He had figured that the piece of fabric belonged to Calum’s mother. Nothing else managed to pull the light from Calum’s eyes like the vanishing of his mother did. Ashton needed another moment before he had figured out what was so devastating about the piece of cloth.

“Oh no,” Ashton said, shaking his head. “No! Discharge residues? You think the gun powder, that’s discharge residues?”

“We don’t know anything,” Michael murmured, but the sad expression in Luke’s eyes was enough confirmation for Ashton. Ashton stared at him for a moment, then his mouth snapped shut.

Determinedly, Ashton stood up, “This is not how we are going to deal with this.”

And with that, Ashton stomped out of the room, up the stairs and made a beeline for Calum’s door.

The other boy was standing with his back to the door, facing the wall-length window of his room when Ashton burst in.

“Calum,” Ashton said, resolutely. All his resolution crumbled the moment he had reached Calum and found him not seething like he had expected, but crying. And Ashton stared in awe, because this was the first time he had ever seen Calum break like that. But Calum was crying. Silent tears spilled out of hollow eyes, Calum’s face void of any emotion, drained of it.

“Calum,” Ashton whispered, reaching out, gently pulling Calum against him. The other boy let him, a stir going through him and then Calum was clinging to him, so tightly Ashton was sure his ribs were seconds away from cracking, but Ashton wouldn’t have pushed Calum away if his life depended on it.

“You said it yourself,” Ashton spoke, calmly. “You said you know she’s not dead because you would have felt it. You would know if they had shot her. She’s not gone, not like that. And you know that.”

“I don’t know anything!” Calum pressed out through his teeth, his breath hot against Ashton’s neck. Angry tears dampened Ashton’s skin but he could have cared less. He had to try hard to keep his composure, not start bawling right along with Calum. Because Ashton could feel it. He felt everything Calum felt, all the dread and anger and crippling helplessness, unfolding in his chest like venom.

“I don’t know whether she’s alive or not. I don’t know where she-- where her body is. I don’t know how I can find her. I don’t know anything,” Calum said bitterly and then a part of him seemed to crumble. The anger vanished from his body and all that was left was grief. Calum sobbed and Ashton, as gently as possible, steered him towards his bed, laid them down. There were no words of consolation, so Ashton remained silent as he held Calum.

“I just want my mom back," Calum whispered, long after his sobs had turned into hiccups and then heavy breathing. Ashton was pretty sure the breaking of his heart was audible. “I’m not ready yet. I’m only sixteen. I can’t do it on my own yet. I need my mom.”

“We’ll find her.”

Calum snorted. 

“Shut up,” Ashton growled. “We will find her. I promised you, remember?”

“You can’t promise that,” Calum mumbled, but Ashton just lightly slapped him on the back before pulling away in order to look Calum in the eye.

“You are Calum Hood,” Ashton said, “You are a born child of the moon and an alpha wolf at that. You faced down a whole tribe of werewolves who wanted your death since the day you were born. You faced down a council of two alphas and a headhuntress to claim me. You will face down whoever is responsible for this and you will prevail, like you always have. Because you are Calum Hood and this is what you do. You prevail.”

The faintest hint of a smile appeared on Calum’s face. Then his eyes dropped. “What if I’m not strong enough?”

Ashton smiled, “Then you have a pack of three and a half werewolves who will _make_ you strong enough. I don’t know if you have noticed.”

“I-- yes, I did.” Calum smiled, sincerely this time, before he dumped his head back on the bed and closed his eyes. “I… I’d like to be alone for a while now, if that’s okay?”

Ashton nodded, easily. He understood. “Of course.”

He made to get up, but Calum’s hand around his upper arm held him back. Calum kissed him, shortly but deeply, and then let him go. Ashton grinned as soon as they had broken apart and got up for good this time.

“I love you,” Calum said, just as Ashton’s hand had wrapped around the door handle. “You are the stars that make the night sky bright.”

Ashton smiled. He didn’t turn around as he answered, “You are the moon that breaks the night.”

With an echo of adoration resonating in his chest, Ashton pushed the handle down and slipped out of the room.

*

“Ready?” Luke asked him, honest concern in his eyes.

Ashton grinned right back and stretched his legs. “Oh, you bet on it, Blondie. See this as The Big Grocery Store Aisle Race: Part Two.”

Luke’s face distorted into a grin. “You’re on.”

“Are you two like… done?”

“Be nice, Mikey.” Luke slapped Michael on the chest, lightly. “Besides, Ashton hasn’t done this as often. It’s still exciting!”

“We have done this a million times and it’s still exciting.” Michael rolled his eyes, but he shot Ashton a wink. “Alright then, Irwin, all settled?”

Ashton looked from where the three of them were standing on the clearing behind the house to it. Most of the building lay in the dark, only the living room windows and the windows of Calum’s room where Calum and Mali were currently holed up, were illuminated.

Ashton got that. This was a Hood family matter even more than it was a pack matter. Calum and Mali were the orphans coming out of this. _Maybe_ , if Ashton had any say in it.

In lack of an answer, Ashton smiled at Michael and stripped himself of his shorts before he crouched down. The shift still hurt, a lot, but he had gotten much faster, managed the transformation in nearly under a minute now. And Ashton knew soon he would be able to do it within the blink of an eye, a burst of energy jumbling his cells with the force of a supernova, just like the others.

As soon as he was a wolf, Ashton shook out his fur and let his head swing around a couple of times in order to adjust to the altered vision.

Luke and Michael landed next to him, their paws ripping patches of grass out of the ground as they shook themselves out and headed for the woods. Ashton trotted after them. He tried to open his senses as much as possible.

Ashton felt a slight pressure pricking in the back of his head and allowed the others in. He had expected it to feel weird, having his friends’ voices in his head. But in the end, it felt as natural as every other aspect of his new, supernatural life.

As soon as they had reached the woods, Michael and Luke picked up pace and Ashton was quick to follow. The sun was beginning to set and soon the moon would rise. Sniffing the air for any hint of Jil Sander perfume, Ashton ran.

*

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin!”

Ashton choked on the piece of apple he was currently chewing and went into a coughing fit. Michael, sitting next to him at the lunch table, began pounding on his back. The sympathetic expression in the eyes of the purple-haired boy didn’t stem from his worry about Ashton’s respiratory failure, that Ashton was sure of.

He managed to swallow the piece of apple and heave in a breath, just when Ashley slammed her hand onto his tray, sending the rest of his apples flying across the table.

“You!” his best friend spit and very nearly grabbed him by the collar. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Uhm,” Ashton tried, but Ashley wouldn’t let him talk.

“I tried to call you about a hundred times during the weekend, and it went to voicemail every single time.”

“I am sorry." Ashton raised his hands in an appeasing manner. Ashley narrowed her eyes at him, but sat herself down next to him.

“I spent the weekend at Michael’s house…”

The purple-haired boy glared at him in a way that clearly said _Hey, don’t drag me into this! I wanna keep my scalp!_

Undeterred, Ashton continued, “... and I forgot to bring my charger, so when my phone died I couldn’t charge it until this morning.” That wasn’t a lie, technically.

Ashley searched his eyes intently before her frown softened, turned into a pout instead. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “It’s impossible to get a hold on you these days. I have stuff to tell you, people to complain about.”

“I am sorry,” Ashton repeated. “Tell me now?”

Ashley huffed, but Ashton could see the desire to tell him about whatever was occupying her mind beneath her eyeroll. “Fine. Okay, first of all I was in Art today and I overheard Greg and the Bulgarian, Kyle or whatever, talk about you. Apparently, Carter is looking for you.”

Ashton’s breath hitched, but he smothered the pang of dread before it could grow, grow big enough to become an echo.

“Who is Carter?” Michael asked, his brows furrowing just the slightest.

“No one,” Ashton said quickly.

Ashley raised her eyebrows at him, but jumped in on Ashton’s boat. “Yeah, he’s no one,” Ashley assured Michael, “doesn’t matter, really.”

And because she was still the best friend Ashton could have ever asked for, she quickly diverted their attention to a different topic, “Anyways. You, Mr,” she jabbed her index finger into Ashton’s chest, “can tell your secret boyfriend--” Ashton spluttered, and for the second time that day, needed Michael’s assistance to retch food back up his windpipe. Unimpressed, Ashley just continued talking, “-- that you are busy next weekend. Because it’s my monthiversary party and you are coming.”

Ashton stared at her. “What?”

His best friend grinned. “Yeah, it’s been a month, already. I mean you would know that if you would look at your goddamn phone for once, but.”

A smile overtook Ashley’s face, so giddy and genuinly happy that Ashton couldn’t help but lean forward, opening his arms in invitation. Ashley hugged him, quickly but tightly, before she let go, laughing.

“I’m happy for you.”

“I know.” Ashley smiled, then picked up her phone.

“But, uhm, what makes you think that I have a secret boyfriend?”

Ashley raised a single brow at him, lifting her eyes from her phone to deepen the effect. “ _Please._ You’re always gone on the weekends. You keep daydreaming in class. You have that new _glow_ all over you. Kim Sanders told me to tell you that she thinks you look hot without the glasses. You’re either doing drugs or you are having really good sex.”

This time, it was Michael who spluttered, but not out of embarrassment. Ashton glowered at him. As soon as Michael had composed himself, he got up. Interrupted by giggles, he said, “I have to get to class.” Another burst of laughter and he was gone. “Bye.”

Ashley looked after him before she turned back to Ashton. “It’s not Michael, is it?”

“No,” Ashton shook his head, “it’s definitely not him. He’s got a boyfriend, also.”

“Oh,” Ashley’s face lit up, “that’s cute. He needs to bring him!”

“You’re inviting Michael?”

“Yes, and his boyfriend. Speaking of boyfriend,” Ashley shot him a cheshire cat grin, “tell me who yours is. I am a little scandalised that you haven’t told me immediately but I guess I’ll forgive you because I’ve been busy with Lido as well. Now spill. ”

Ashley rested her elbow on his shoulder, staring at him from the side.

Ashton sighed. “Fine, okay.” A part of Ashton was happy, though, glad to finally be able to talk about it with someone. He would just have to be careful not to spill too much. “His name is Calum.”

“Calum,” Ashley repeated, clearly memorising the name.

“He’s Michael’s best friend and I,” Ashton smiled down at his plate, “I really like him.”

“Aw, Ashy,” his best friend cooed and Ashton was quick to duck her attempt to clutch his face. “Do you have a photo?”

Ashton shook his head. “I don’t.”

Ashley sighed. “Well, that’s okay, I guess. I’ll see him Saturday, anyways.”

“Saturday?”

“The party,” Ashley smirked. “You’ll bring your boy.”

Ashton inhaled, but Ashley clamped her hand over his mouth before he could speak. “No backtalk! If you don’t bring him, I’ll make Michael do it.”

Ashton crossed his eyes in exasperation, but nodded. Pleased as punch, Ashley lifted her hand from his face.

“Great, I have a History test now, I gotta go, but we’ll talk in Bio. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Ashton grumbled, fumbling his phone out of his back pocket. Punching the passcode into the lock screen, Ashton tried to think of a way to tell Calum that they were going to a party. After a couple of moments of contemplation, Ashton begun to type a message.


	25. eclipse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trigger warning for Graphic Depictions of Violence applies to this chapter, please stay safe! If you do not feel comfortable proceeding, leave a comment and I will give you a summary of what is happening in this chapter! All the love, Carly xx

 

_eclipse [ek-lips]_

_noun, plural eclipses_

_1\. the partial or complete obscuring of one celestial body by another_

_2\. a temporary or permanent dimming or cutting off of light_

 

Ashton was the last one left in the locker room. It was Friday afternoon and Coach Zimmer had held him back to congratulate him on his rise from a C- to a B, a grade that Ashton never thought he would ever see typed on his report card after _Physical Education_.

Ashton’s phone began to vibrate on the bench, just when he had stepped back into his jeans. In the knowledge that it was probably Michael waiting at the car for him, Ashton ignored it. He rolled his eyes when a couple of seconds later, he heard the door leading outside open and then shut.  
“Relax, Michael, I’ll be out in a-- oh.” Ashton broke off with a frown when he saw that it wasn’t his purple-haired friend who had come in.

It was Carter Stevens. To Ashton’s surprise, the other boy was without his lackeys.

“Hello, Ashton." Carter smiled at him in a way that made the hairs on the back of Ashton’s neck stand up. Carter leaned himself against the lockers opposite of Ashton.

Ashton crossed his arms in front of his chest. He sneered. “Where did you leave Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Don’t you need them to hold me down?”

“I’m not here to beat you up.” Carter frowned as if the mere idea of him bullying Ashton was ridiculous, as if he hadn’t spent the past three years tormenting Ashton. “I just wanna have a little chat.”

Ashton felt his mouth drop open slightly. He snapped it back shut. “Okay?”

Carter smiled, and pushed himself off the lockers. He rounded the bench separating them and came to a halt shortly in front of Ashton. His smile became devious as he leaned forward, invaded Ashton’s space.

He murmured, “I saw you with your boyfriend the other day when you snuck out of Maths. So you like dick, huh?”

Ashton’s heart skipped a beat before it began to hammer. Dread laced itself around his intestines, made bile rise in his throat. Carter had watched him and Calum. As far as Ashton knew, Carter had probably taken pictures of it, was ready to out Ashton to the whole school.  

“And you got yourself a prep boy, too.” The glint in Carter’s eyes became nasty. “Do you suck his dick so he pays for your mother’s bills? Yeah, you do, right? Get down on your knees like a fucking gay whore?”

Ashton felt the confined energy at the bottom of his spine flare, begging him to wolf out. A growl was building up in his throat. The urge to rip Carter’s head off of his shoulders became overwhelming. He longed to tell the other boy to shut up, but he couldn’t open his mouth. Not when he could feel the unmistakable sting of his canines elongating. His hands were shaking with the effort to keep all the rage in his chest within him. _Efferitas exeat_ , Ashton told himself, over and over again.

“Tell me,” Carter almost purred at him, “how much?”

Ashton’s gaze snapped up and he stared at the other boy. There had been something else, beneath the malice and disgust in Carter’s voice. Ashton’s mouth dropped open, his teeth long retracted, as he realised why Carter was cornering him like this.

“Oh my god,” Ashton breathed out. A hysterical burst of laughter bubbled up in his throat. Where it was still lying on the bench, Ashton’s phone began to vibrate again. Ashton spoke calmly as he took a step away from the other boy. “You really are wondering that, aren’t you?”

Ashton couldn’t help the triumphant smile that made its way onto his face. Several things happened at once. Ashton’s head hit the locker behind him hard when Carter pushed him forward. The bang was hard enough to leave Ashton seeing stars. Carter seized the moment to advance on him, but not in the way Ashton had expected him to. No, it was way worse. There was a flicker of desperation in Carter’s eyes, making Ashton’s eyebrows lift in surprise, and then Carter was smashing his mouth onto Ashton’s.

It hurt, but the feeling didn’t stem from Carter pressing his lips to Ashton’s, or the iron grip he kept on Ashton’s upper arm. Ashton’s mouth fell open as an inexplicable surge of terror split Ashton in half. Carter, oblivious, used the opportunity to slip his tongue into Ashton’s mouth. Ashton’s throat constricted and he couldn’t breathe anymore. It was mind-bending, the overwhelming, acid-like feeling of betrayal laying fog over his eyes. It was not his own emotion. It was an echo. Way too close to him.

Terror of his own spread through Ashton, and with all his might he pushed Carter off of him. The other boy toppled backwards, landing on the bench, but Ashton didn’t care. Panicking, he turned around. Calum was standing at the far corner of the bench, his eyes boring into Ashton’s. The other boy’s knuckles were white where he held his phone still pressed to his ear. A short glance at Ashton’s phone still lying on the bench confirmed that Calum had been the one trying to call him, presumably to tell him it was him picking Ashton up not Michael.

Ashton tried to say something, anything, but all that came out of his mouth was an unintelligible noise. Calum’s eyes flicked down to Ashton’s lips, probably swollen from Carter’s attack, then even further to where Ashton’s belt was still undone. Ashton could see Calum’s breath hitch in his throat at that and the worst possible words tumbled out of Ashton’s mouth.

“I swear, it’s not what it looks like.”

Instantly, Calum’s eyes shot back up to meet his gaze. Calum's gaze darkened into pitch black and then he spun around. Ashton needed too long to make his muscles kick into gear.

“Calum!”

Ashton reached the hallway to find it empty. Frantically, he looked around. Waves of fury made his breathing go ragged, and then it stopped. Calum had cut him off. Somehow, that hurt more than any of the echoes Ashton had received. It was an instant feeling of being lost, all his sense of belonging gone within the blink of an eye. Ashton panicked.

“Calum!” he yelled as he burst out of the gym building and spotted Calum at the other end of the parking lot. Instinctively, Ashton ran. He just had to reach Calum. Once he had explained the situation to him, everything would be fine again.

Ashton nearly wanted to sob out in gratitude when he watched Calum’s figure come to a halt. The alpha’s body was shaking, Ashton didn’t even need wolf sight to see that. With his hands balled to fists, Calum was standing with his back to him, his head held high.

“Calum!” Ashton wheezed out once he had slithered to a halt a couple of feet away from the other boy. “Cal, Cal!”

“Give me a reason, Ashton,” Calum said, and then turned around, slowly. His eyes wouldn’t meet Ashton’s, his voice deadly calm as he spoke, “Give me any reason to not walk back and beat that little boy toy of yours to pulp. How could you-- how--” Calum’s voice wavered and then he broke off.

“Please,” Ashton said as soon as he was sure Calum wouldn’t speak any further. Ashton put on his most sincere face. “I promise you, it’s really not what it looks like.”

Calum snorted, his eyes remaining averted.

“I swear!” Ashton run his head through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts. “Can you-- please, Calum.”

Calum flinched at the mention of his name, and his eyes lit up, his fangs elongating before he closed his eyes. Ashton’s gaze fell to where Calum’s fists were still shaking. Ashton didn’t need an echo to feel the waves of rage Calum emitted. Calum was having a hard time controlling the wolf, something that Ashton had never witnessed before. He had seen Calum angry, but he had never seen him struggling with the beast inside. Calum, who was always calm and _always collected._

“Can you hear me out? I beg you, please, just hear me out.” Ashton raised his hands.

Calum exhaled, loudly, but nodded, motioning Ashton to talk.

“Okay, so Carter--”

“I do not care for his name.”

Ashton tried to ignore the sting the revulsion in Calum’s voice left. He knew it wasn’t directed at him, not directly, but still it was almost unbearable to him.

“He came onto me. You know I would never do this to you, fuck, you know I would never want to kiss anyone else. I love _you_ and you know that, Calum. He kissed me against my will and if you cut away the haze of anger, you can recall my echo of distress. You feel what I feel, you know I’m not lying.”

Calum’s face distorted into a grimace.

“What reason should the human have to just...” Calum broke off again, into a pressed exhale.

 _He can’t say it_ , Ashton realised.

“... ‘come onto you’?”

Ashton faltered and unfortunately, Calum noticed. His eyes narrowed into slits and he looked up to catch Ashton’s gaze. Ashton avoided his eyes.

“Ashton,” Calum said, almost menacingly. “What are you keeping from me?”

Ashton cast his eyes down, rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. A second later, Calum’s finger had wrapped around his chin, were forcing his head up.

“Spill.” Calum’s words were slurred by his fangs. “Now.”

“He, uhm…” Ashton struggled. “Carter and I have a bit of a history.”

“What kind of history?” Calum asked sharply.

“He’s kind of--” Ashton exhaled. “He’s been bullying me, okay? Long before I turned, for years, it’s, uhm-- he’s been tormenting me since my second year of high school.”

Ashton needed a moment to decipher the emotion that replaced the anger in Calum’s voice as pain and somehow guilt, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you would have killed him.”

Calum remained silent. They both knew it was true.

“I thought he was going to try to pummel me,” Ashton explained. “I didn’t know he would kiss me. Fuck, I didn’t even know he swings that way. He told me he followed me when you pulled me out of Math the other day and that he watched us.”

Calum let out a growl.

Ashton remembered the desperation in Carter’s eyes. “I think he tried to suppress that part of him but lost control when he saw us. Because I have something he doesn’t. I am confident in who I am and I am sure about my love.”

Calum nodded, his eyes falling to the ground. For a long time, that was actually just seconds but felt like an eternity to Ashton, the alpha boy was silent. Then he looked up. “Get in the car.”

And Ashton wanted to cry in relief. He hasted to the passenger side and almost ripped the door off its hinges in his hurry to get inside. Ashton halted, however, when he realised Calum wasn’t getting in the car as well, but instead was making a beeline for the gym building.

“Calum!”

The other boy didn’t react and Ashton’s stomach sunk when he realised what Calum had in mind.

“Calum! Please, don’t! Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t!”

Calum whirled around, his step never faltering. He simply walked backwards as he caught Ashton’s gaze and said, “Get in the car, Ashton.”

Calum’s voice was calm, toneless and had that certain air of authority, that certain gravity to it. Calum was speaking to Ashton in his alpha voice, robbing Ashton of any possibility to disobey him. Helplessly, Ashton watched Calum continue his way across the parking lot while his own body moved on its own. Heart pounding against his rib cage, Ashton sat on the passenger seat and watched Calum disappear into the building.

Ashton was seconds away from panicking. He hated Carter, he hated Carter with every fibre of his being, but he didn’t wish an angry alpha upon anyone. Carter was human and in no way equipped to offer even a whiff of resistance when met with a ferocious Calum.

Ashton wanted to run after them, but Calum’s order had been clear and the mere thought of defying his alpha left Ashton nauseous. He couldn’t move from the inside of the car. All he could do was wait until Calum would return.

But he could hear. Ashton’s eyes widened as soon as the thought occured to him and he hurried to roll down the window. Then he focussed, closed his eyes and listened. At first, he got nothing but bugs creeping through the gras of the stretch of green separating the gym from the parking lot. Then he widened his reach and flinched, when the slamming of a metal door resonated within his head at several times the normal volume. A second later, Ashton realised that it hadn’t been the door that had been slammed but rather something against it. Something that uttered a pitiful noise upon it, not fully a whimper, not anymore.

“I asked you if I have made myself clear?” That was Calum’s voice, eternally calm. He didn’t even sound strained. Another wince in return and then a gargling noise.

“Fine, I’ll repeat myself.”

Ashton believed to hear something like protest, a begging for Calum not to, but it was all indecipherable to him. Ashton flinched when he heard another bang and then the horrible sound of bones snapping.

“If you ever touch him again,” Calum snarled, and Ashton could picture the scene, Carter’s face smashed against the wall and Calum breathing into his neck, his nails digging deep enough to draw blood. “I will come for you. There is no place where you can hide, and no one to save you from my wrath. Come near my boyfriend again and I will rip out your spleen and feed it to you. If Ashton comes home with so much as a hair out of place, I will kill you. Are we clear?”

The affirmative Carter choked out was barely audible. Seemingly not loud enough for Calum. Another snap, this time a bigger bone, maybe even the tibia.

Calum roared, “Are we clear?”

“Y-yes.”

Ashton had never heard Carter’s voice like that before. He was used to Carter’s sneer, even his slimy tone of voice when he kissed the teachers’ asses. Now it was reduced to a sob. Ashton felt pity for Carter, strong enough to make his heart clench.

And then, suddenly, it stopped. Ashton remembered that time in junior year Carter had locked him inside a ball container. Ashton had scratched his nails bloody trying to get out and to this day the smell of basketballs made him retch.

No, he told himself, if anyone deserved this, it was Carter. For all the bruises and scars and stomach aches he had given Ashton. Ashton pried  his eyes back open and stopped listening.  

Maybe it was the wolf inside him, or maybe it was the purely human side of Ashton that inhibited all compassion, but Ashton didn’t feel anything anymore as he waited for Calum to return.

Calum reemerged from the gym building not a minute later. Ashton kept his gaze on the dashboard as Calum slid onto the driver’s seat. He ducked away when Calum tried to lay a hand on his cheek. He didn’t have to gauge Calum’s reaction to see the alpha’s brows furrow.  
“Ashton,” Calum said, bemused and demanding in a way that definitely rubbed Ashton the wrong way.

Ashton crossed his arms in front of his chest. He didn’t have any compassion for Carter, that was true, but a part of him was angry. Angry at Calum because even after they had determined that Ashton wasn’t at fault, Calum hadn’t contained his anger.

“Are you done now?” Ashton asked, keeping his tone bored and his gaze out of the window.

“Huh, what? Are you-- are you mad at _me_? Ashton!”

This time, Ashton did look at him when Calum tried to touch his face, “Oh, I am mad, indeed! Thanks for noticing!”

Calum gaped at him in disbelief. “Why?!”

It didn’t take more than that for Ashton to go off, “Because I told you not to go after him and you still did it! I hate Carter as much as you do, but you acted like an impulsive child, Calum! What if he calls the police on you?”

Calum’s mouth dropped open even further before he snapped it shut. Grimly, he said, “He wouldn’t dare. I made sure of that. And now stop with this. I made sure he never even looks at you again.” Calum sneered. “You should be thankful.”

Ashton stared at Calum for a good few seconds in disbelief. He inhaled deeply, then let the air whistle out through his teeth in an attempt to keep himself in check. Calum watched him for a few moments.

“He laid hands on one of my betas,” Calum jutted out his chin, his face becoming determined. “I will not allow that, especially when...”

Ashton narrowed his eyes at him, “... especially when, what?”

Calum shook his head, his hand -- its knuckles were busted, but Ashton could see the skin heal beneath the foreign blood already -- coming up to the ignition button. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to tell you when you are mad.”

“Tell me what?”

“Let it go,” Calum told him in that authorative voice that prohibited Ashton from digging any further. In his normal voice, Calum added, “I am tired of this argument. Buckle up.” And with that Calum pressed the button down and steered the car out of its spot and off the parking lot.

Ashton kept silent during the drive. He wasn’t sulking per se. Ashton felt hurt. Not because of the argument, not even because Calum had annihilated Carter. Truth be told, Ashton felt disappointed because his words alone hadn’t kept Calum from doing what he had decided, as if Ashton’s opinion didn’t matter at all to him. As if his veto was worthless.

“Please drop me off at home," Ashton mumbled as soon as they had left the school district and Calum was obviously steering the car in the direction of the house.

“Ashton,” Calum tried, but Ashton didn’t let him.

“Please, just drop me off at home,” he repeated.

Ashton felt that Calum wanted to protest, but the alpha did take the next turn left and steered them towards Ashton’s house. It wasn’t until Calum had pulled up to the curb in front of Ashton’s house that Ashton spoke again.

“Thanks,” he muttered, and quickly climbed out of the car.

Ashton could feel Calum’s gaze linger on his back as he made his way up to the front door. Because his backpack, along with his keys, was still in his gym locker, Ashton had to knock and wait for one of his siblings to open up. Only when Harry had opened him, one of his bionicles in hand and his eyes curious as the why Ashton wasn’t using his keys, Ashton could hear the ignition of the Jeep start back up.


	26. epiphany

_epiphany [epi-fah-nee]_

_noun, plural epiphanies_

_1\. a sudden insight or understanding_

_2\. a moment of great or sudden revelation_

 

Calum was not happy. With his arms crossed in front of his chest, he stood leaned against the fridge of his kitchen, waiting for his friends to react to what he had just told them. So far, Michael hadn’t done much more than stare out of the window where he was perched on the countertop of the kitchen island. Luke, standing at the side of the countertop, was busy mushing bananas into his greek yoghurt. He had the decency to every so often look up at Calum and assure him that he was still listening, at least.

“What I’m saying is that that imbecile _bullied_ him. Did you know about that, Michael?”

The purple-haired boy furrowed his brows and Calum shuddered at the strong echo of indignation that hit his chest a second later.

“If I would have known, the asshole would be rotting somewhere out there by now,” Michael said, tonelessly, shooting Calum a single, burning glance before he averted his eyes back to the window. “I wouldn’t have let him live. And you know that.”

Calum did know that. He laid a hand on Michael’s knee, sending an apologetic echo back. He didn’t plan to have another member of his pack pissed off at him for the day. One was upsetting enough.

Because it slowly but surely drove Calum insane, all the emotions inside him twirling and tumbling and making his head and heart ache. He wasn’t used to this kind of turmoil. A part of him longed to sleep it off. The bigger part of him wanted Ashton, right now, right here with him. Having Ashton’s presence so far away unsettled Calum, whether Ashton was still angry at him or not.

Shaking the curly-haired boy’s upset face out of his mind, Calum continued, “I did what I had to do. It’s my job to make sure my betas are protected. I won’t let some kid hurt one of mine.”

Calum kicked out, pressing his lips together. He knew he probably looked like a child doing so, but he didn’t really care.

“I think,” Luke said, swallowing heavily around the spoon in his mouth. A second later, Michael had snatched it out of his mouth and put it back into the bowl.

“Speak clearly, Luke,” Michael admonished him.

Luke glared at the purple-haired boy before turning back to Calum. “Anyways, I think that Ashton is still very new to the whole werewolf thing. He isn’t used to pack dynamics yet.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t he tell me?” Calum struggled to keep the frustration out of his voice. That was what hurt him the most, the fact that Ashton hadn’t trusted him.

“Probably because he wanted to prevent exactly the situation we are in now,” Luke sighed. “Or maybe he was ashamed.”

“Okay, but he could have at least fought back himself. I empowered him. He is a wolf now. He could have fought back.”

“He couldn’t have,” Michael muttered. “You told him that he can’t change anything about his behaviour.”

Michael’s brows were still furrowed. Calum knew that Michael was shutting down at the moment because he blamed himself for what had happened. Seeking the fault by himself was one of Michael’s worst and unfortunately also most pronounced habits. That knowledge didn’t help the hot flush of anger surging through him.

“Are you saying that this is my fault?!”

Michael gritted his teeth, shook his head and Luke caught Calum’s gaze.

“Efferitas exeat, Cal.”

Instantly, Calum deflated and fell back against the fridge.

“Efferitas exeat,” Calum repeated and rubbed a hand over his face. “I just… can’t bear the thought of one of my betas getting hurt because of an order I gave them.” Calum pulled a grimace. It was one of his worst fears. As the alpha, it was his responsibility to be savvy of and above such things. That was one of the first things his mother had taught him.

“Especially not when it’s my mate,” Calum added, mumbling.

In an instant, Michael’s head snapped up and Luke’s spoon clattered to the ground. Michael reached out blindly and clapped the blond boy on the back several times while Luke struggled to breathe past the yoghurt that had just entered his windpipe. The both of them were staring at him, matching expressions of shock and awe in their eyes.

“Are you serious?” Luke wretched out, eventually.

Calum nodded.

“Did you tell him as much?” Michael asked, a new spark of life in his eyes. At least Calum had managed to pull Michael out of his guilt hole.

“No, I--” Calum sighed. “I wanted to wait for a better moment.”

“Reasonable,” Michael said while Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“You have to tell him, Calum. Ashton deserves to know that you think of him like that.”

“I will,” Calum faltered, “eventually.”

“Do it tomorrow,” Luke demanded. “The party is a good opportunity. It’s a monthiversary party so it is, technically, a romantic enviroment.”

“Fine. I will talk to him. 's not like I have to try to make up with him. Maybe he’ll be more lenient if he knows.” Calum did hope so.

“Or don’t you rather want to make out with him?” Luke smiled at him smugly

Calum rolled his eyes, “You’ve got greek yoghurt on your chin.” With that Calum pushed himself off the fridge door and sauntered out of the ktichen. “Looks a lot like--”

The door fell shut behind him and cut the rest of his sentence off.

*

Ashton was not happy. Cursing, he pulled his brush through the mess on top of his head, but somehow Ashton managed to make the tangles even worse. Discarding the brush, he took a step away from his bathroom mirror and sighed.

He had spent the last twenty-four hours holed up in bed, marathoning an entire season of Hell’s Kitchen and, upon Gordon Ramsey losing his shit over raw lamb, forgotten that he had a party to attend. A party he was now late for. Because he had gotten into the shower so late, Ashton had had to blow dry his hair. All that had resulted in the bird’s nest on his head.

Having given up on his hair, Ashton walked back into his room and aimed for his dresser. It took him a bit of rummaging, but eventually he had managed to retrieve one of his bandanas from the pile of clothes bunched together.

Ashton slung the fabric around his head and was satisfied to find the greater part of his curls tamed back when he checked his locks in the mirror. Having gotten rid of the hair problem, Ashton slipped on his shoes and pocketed his keys, phone and wallet.

Luke had texted him a good twenty minutes ago that the rest of the pack was on their way to pick him up, which meant they should arrive any minute.

Ashton made his way downstairs to find his little brother in the living room, engrossed in some cartoon playing on the TV.

“Hey, buddy,” Ashton greeted Harry and let himself fall onto the sofa next to him. “Ashley’s party is tonight. You gonna be okay being alone for a couple of hours?”

Harry looked at him, hazel eyes wide, and nodded.

Ashton carded his hand through the mussed hair at the side of the seven year-old's head. Harry had probably napped on the couch earlier. “Mom should be back around midnight. I’m gonna be gone longer than that, but I’ll be back too when you wake up.”

Harry grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, small fingers curling into the fabric.

Ashton smiled, “I made you mac and cheese for dinner. It’s still warm so you don’t have to heat it. Best eat it soon, okay?”

Harry nodded again, then dumped his head onto Ashton’s upper arm, hands still clinging to Ashton’s shirt. Ashton sighed and rested his chin on top of his little brother’s head. He was aware of the fact that he had been neglecting his siblings lately. They usually used to do a lot of fun things on the weekends, and now Ashton was always gone.

“And tomorrow we’re gonna spend the whole day on the couch and watch movies, alright? Just the two of us and your sister as soon as she gets back from her friend’s.”

Harry’s face lit up in excitement. “Can we watch the Lego Movie again?”

Ashton grinned. “Sure.”

A moment later, his phone vibrated against his leg and, reluctantly, Ashton got up.

“I want you in bed by ten the latest!” Ashton called after himself as he made a beeline for the door. “And if anything happens, text me. I’m gonna leave my phone on vibrate.”

“Tell Ashley she can come watch movies, too.”

Ashton laughed. “Will do.”

And with that, he was out of the door.

*

Fairy lights lined the short paved-open way leading up to the Frangipanes’ house. A heavy bass sounded onto the street even through the walls, mixed with the shrieking sounds of laughter. The curb in front of the small but neat colonial house was packed with cars. Ashton accredited it to Calum’s parking skills that the other boy had managed to wedge the car into a spot that should have been way too narrow for the Jeep.

Ashton admired the about two inches of space left on either side of the car for a moment before he pulled himself back up and surveyed his pack. A slight smile appeared on Ashton’s face when he realised that, predictably, they had all dressed in black, much like Ashton had caught himself having done. The only blotch of colour was Michael’s hair and the fading maroon colour of Calum’s flannel. Calum. Ashton wanted to sigh, and not just because Calum looked really, _really_ good in that flannel.

To say that the car ride had been awkward would have been an understatement. In between Michael’s pre-party playlist (one that he had assembled himself and that consisted mainly out of EDM versions of 90s rock classics) and Luke’s attempts to talk over the awkward silence that ensued between songs, Ashton had managed to pretty much ignore Calum, who had been busy driving, up to this point. Not so much now. Ashton dragged his eyes from Calum’s chest to find Calum already looking at him. Quickly, Ashton averted his gaze.

“Alright,” he announced and planted himself in front of his friends. “There are a few rules.”

Luke grinned at him expectantly, Michael rolled his eyes and Calum just continued to stare. Ashton made sure not to meet Calum’s eyes again.

“One,” Ashton lifted his index finger, “absolutely no wolfy behaviour. You are just normal kids attending a high school party, understood? People have phones at those. It’s a senior party. That’s pretty cool for normal juniors. Even cooler, however, is to _keep_ your cool.”

“We’re cool with that." Luke giggled, and Michael grinned. Ashton ignored them both.

“As I was saying. No wolfy behaviour, no tantrums.” Ashton looked at Michael, who raised the brow of his that was pierced in a _What?_ kind of matter. Ashton held his gaze until Michael averted his eyes, the faintest shade of pink on his cheeks. “If someone bothers you, you just walk away. Pretty simple.”

“Two,” Ashton flicked up his middle finger up next to his pointer, “no alcohol.”

“Werewolves can’t get drunk,” Michael informed him.

“I know,” Ashton smiled at him, “and for it to stay that way, you can put that flask in your back pocket right back in the car.”

Michael’s mouth fell open. He gaped at Ashton until Luke pushed his mouth back shut and stole the flask out of his back pocket. Luke turned around, opened the car door, threw the flask on the passenger seat before he turned back to Ashton and gave him a thumbs up. Ashton smiled appreciatively at him.

“Fine,” Michael grumped, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “what’s rule three then?”

“Oh, uhm,” Ashton rubbed the back of his head with his hand, “actually, there are only these two rules. Rule three is go have fun, I guess.”

“Great,” Luke chimed up and pulled Michael towards the entrance of the house by their intertwined hands. “Let’s go attend this party!”

Ashton looked after them fondly before he realised that he was now alone with Calum on the front lawn. He could hear Calum draw in a breath. He was about to say something. Quickly, Ashton set his muscles into motion and followed their friends. A heartbeat later, he could feel Calum’s presence following him. Ashton killed the echo hitting his chest before it could unfold.

He experienced sensatory overload as soon as he had set a foot into Ashley’s house. The music was deafening, making his head thrum. All the different presences of the people cramping the hallway and subsequent rooms made his danger senses go crazy. His sense of smell was the hardest to tone down, and right now Ashton was overwhelmed by the smell of fifty different perfumes, spilt alcohol and sweating bodies.

Ashton barely had time to adjust himself, when he was wrapped up in a bear hug, a familiar voice shrieking into his ear, “Ashton!”

Ashton smiled at his best friend as soon as she had pulled away and rested his hand on her arm in order to bellow back into her ear, “Happy monthiversary!”

Ashley grinned at him, a bit sluggish, but not drunk yet.

“You don’t have anything to drink!” Resolutely, she pressed her red solo cup into his hand. Then she searched the area behind him. A frown appeared on her face when she found it empty. “Where is Michael? Where is Michael’s _boyfriend_? I have to meet the boy that snatched the punk’s heart!”

Ashton laughed and turned her in the direction of the kitchen, where he could feel Luke and Michael’s presence. “Don’t smother him!”

“I would never!” Ashley grinned, deviously, and then went on her merry way.

Ashton shook his head after her, and then steered in the direction of the living room.

As it was still early in the evening, the designated dance floor was as good as empty. The party guests were mostly mingling in small groups along the walls. Ashton sighed in relief when he found that there was a free spot on one of the sofas. He plopped himself down next to a girl he knew from his AP Biology class. She was deeply in conversation with none other than Ashley’s boyfriend Lido, co-host of the party.

“Happy monthiversary!” Ashton smiled at Lido and raised his cup.

“Thanks, man!” Lido smiled back at him, a bit timidly but sincerely. Which, when Ashton thought about it, was actually a quite accurate way to describe the other boy in general. Lido’s Norwegian accent made his consonants come harsher over his lips as he said, “Ashley will be pleased that you are here.”

“Already met her.” Ashton nodded and took a gulp of his drink, just to promptly pull a face. Whatever Ashley had concocted was _strong._ Ashton would have been wasted within minutes, if it wouldn’t have been for his inability to get drunk. It didn’t help the sharp burn down his throat, though.

“Ashton!” Maddison, the girl from Ashton’s Biology class, cheered at him. “How have you been?” Her hand crept up his arm. “You got buff!”

“Uhm, thanks,” Ashton answered, lamely. Ashley had told him all about the school gossip regarding him and his ‘transformation’. It confused Ashton, more than anything.

“I like you without the glasses!” Maddison continued.

“Yeah, it’s-- it’s cool-- contacts, I mean! Because I’m wearing contacts now!”

Maddison just smiled at him, then suddenly, her eyes widened as her gaze was caught by something behind Ashton.

“Who is that?” she asked, her grip falling from Ashton’s upper arm. Freed, Ashton turned around to see what she meant.

‘Who’ turned out to be Calum, standing in the corner of the room. A red solo cup in hand, Calum was talking to a girl that Ashton recognised as a member of the school choir. She was laughing at something Calum had said, her hand landing on Calum's bicep and Ashton saw red.

Ashton would have loved to blame his reaction on the wolf in him, but that would have been a lie. Those where purely human emotions making the blood rush in his ears as he found himself bolting upright a moment later, bridging the distance in long strides.

Calum looked up, even before Ashton had arrived next to him. He must have felt Ashton’s presence approaching, or maybe it were the echoes of jealousy Ashton was pretty sure he was firing off at the moment. Not that he cared.

No matter whether he was mad at Calum at the moment or not, no choir girl got to touch his boyfriend like that. Even if it was Eva, one of the choir’s soloists and a very sweet human being in general, as Ashton knew first hand. That he liked Eva didn’t keep Ashton from accidentally, purposely stepping onto her toes as he wedged himself through the space between them, however.

Pushing her arm off with his torso, Ashton slung his arm around Calum’s waist.

“Hey!” he smiled, brightly. “What’re you guys talking about?”

Calum shot him a glance out of confused, but interested eyes. Ashton ignored him for the moment in favour of diverting his attention towards Eva.

The girl smiled at him, “Hey, Ashton! Calum here walked in and looked a little lost, so I took him under my wing. He told me he was here with you?”

“He is.” Ashton kept his tone just sincere enough to not be impolite. Much. “Actually, Cal and I have to, uhm, talk about something, so excuse us.” Ashton amped his smile up a couple more watt. “Just a moment.”

And with that, Ashton clasped his hand around Calum’s and pulled the other boy away from the corner and out of the room.

“Ashton,” Calum said, when they were halfway up the staircase leading to the second story of the house.

Ashton continued to ignore him until he had closed the door of Ashley’s room behind him. It was then that Ashton realised, his plan didn’t go much further than this.

With his arms crossed in front of his chest, Ashton fell back against the door. He glared at Calum. Calum stared back with an impassive expression on his face. Then he took a step forward, closer to Ashton, closing the space between. Slowly, his hand came up to tug a stray curl out of Ashton’s face. Ashton hated that, even now, the slightest touch from Calum made shudders run up and down his body.

“You’re mad.”

Ashton cast his eyes down, but that was confirmation enough for Calum. The raven-haired boy leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. Reflexively, Ashton’s breathing slowed down, calmed as they breathed together and his body eased into Calum’s touch. Calum pulled away, only an inch, in order to press his lips to Ashton’s cheek, work his way up Ashton’s ear lobe in gentle pecks.

“You’re hot when you’re jealous,” Calum whispered into his ear and Ashton’s breath hitched.

“You--” Ashton’s eyes widened when he realised he had fallen victim to a scheme. “You did that on purpose! Eva, you got her talking to you on purpose!”

The twinkle in Calum’s eyes was answer enough.

“Oh my god,” Ashton groaned, “I hate you so much.”

“It got you talking to me again, so I’m fine with that.” Ashton didn’t have to see Calum’s face to imagine the grin on his face.

“You’re the worst."

“Are you still mad at me?” Calum asked, pulling away to meet Ashton’s gaze, “about the other day?”

“No." Ashton shook his head. “I don’t give a rat’s ass about Carter. Truthfully, he has made my life a living hell the past three years so he got what he deserved. I just wish you would have listened to me. I know I’m just your beta or whatever, but that felt really shitty, you know? That you didn’t even consider what I had to say.”

Calum cast his eyes down. “I am sorry.”

Ashton sighed. “It’s okay. Your emotions were all over the place, so…”

Calum smiled at him and Ashton returned the smile. It felt indefinitely good, being on good terms with Calum again.

“Besides,” Ashton’s smile broadened and he leaned forward to press his lips to Calum’s, “I missed you.”

Calum was quick to move in, chase after Ashton as soon as he had pulled away. “I missed you, too. I don’t like it when you’re not with me. And Ashton?”

Ashton looked up at him. “Yes?”

For a moment, it almost seemed like Calum needed to build up courage to utter his next words, but Ashton knew that was ridiculous. “You’re not just my beta. I think… uhm, well… I mean… and you don’t have to reciprocate it, or whatever, of course... but I’ve been thinking about this lately and… so…”

Ashton raised his brows. “Calum, what are you trying to say?”

The alpha took a deep breath, and let his eyes flutter close.

Another deep breath and Calum opened his eyes again. “I think you are my mate.”

Ashton felt his heartbeat cease, before it picked back up at twice the pace.

And then, “I think so, too.”

And Ashton winced, because that was probably the most unsmooth he had ever been.

“You’re my mate, too,” Ashton hurried to clarify, “I mean, that’s how I feel about you, too.”

Calum’s face lit up like a christmas tree. “Really?”

Ashton smiled. “Yeah. I don’t really see myself ever feeling the same, as deeply, about someone as I do for you. You’re the love of my life. You are the moon.”

Ashton smiled into it when Calum leaned forward to close the distance between their mouths. Ashton had missed this, a lot. And he knew that that was probably ridiculous, considering his fallout with Calum had lasted less than two days. But still. He had just discovered that his _mate_ reciprocated the sentiment. Ashton was allowed to be sappy.

Pliantly, Ashton opened his mouth when Calum lightly bit into his bottom lip. The feeling was as brilliant as ever, having Calum’s tongue explore his mouth. Calum’s hands tangled in his hair, buried themselves in the curls until the bandana slipped from Ashton’s head. Ashton didn’t care. He was too preoccupied with Calum’s leg between his, Calum’s thigh pressing against his crotch. Ashton was breathing hard when Calum broke for air.

“I can taste liquor on your tongue." Calum grinned, almost feral, before he dipped back down. Ashton let out a low moan when Calum moved to his neck. “Vodka and Rum mixed is pretty hardcore. Such a naughty boy.”

“Yeah, the last time I drank it was…” Ashton took a moment to rummage around in his brain. It was hard to concentrate with Calum’s lips on his skin. “Funnily enough, the night you bit me, actually.” Calum hummed against the crook of his neck. “We were at this bonefire thing and--”

The epiphany hit Ashton like a train full-frontal. Suddenly, all the oxygen was gone from his lungs and he struggled to grab onto Calum’s arms as his mind began to race, took turn over turn until all the pieces had been projectiled into place.

“Calum!” Ashton struggled to detach the other boy’s mouth from his neck. “Calum! Cal, stop!”

In lack of a better idea, he buried his fingers in the hair at the nape of Calum’s neck and pulled. Instantly, Calum let out a loud noise of protest, his eyes lighting up golden as his hand flew up to loosen Ashton’s grip.

“Ow, Ashton, what the fuck!”

Ashton just stared at him, wide-eyed, his breathing going ragged.

“Calum,” he pressed out and all pain-inflicted anger faded from Calum’s eyes as he realised that something was going on.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, calm as always, soothing.

Ashton would have smiled at the gesture, but his heart was pounding to hard. He went over it in his mind again. Ashton had to be absolutely sure, otherwise he would seriously hurt Calum. But Ashton was sure. It made so much sense.

Taking a deep breath, Ashton cupped Calum’s cheek in his hand. An almost maniac burst of laughter bubbled up inside his throat. He should have realised so much sooner.

“I know where she is,” Ashton looked at Calum. His tone ended up awestruck, “Calum, I know where your mother is.”


	27. joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Calum's mama for having such a joyfully (haha, see what I did there... yes, I hate myself, too, but it's 3am so forgive me) usable name, that works great as a chapter title as well! Lots of exciting things happening, so I hope you enjoy! All the love, Carly xx

_joy [joi]_

_noun, no descriptive plural_

_1\. keen pleasure; elation_

_2\. a source or cause of delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated_

 

A range of emotions washed over Calum’s face before he took Ashton by the upper arms. Ashton nodded, frantically, to answer the question Calum couldn’t ask.

“I swear I am sure. Get the others and I can explain it to you.“

As it turned out, that order was pretty pointless. Not a heartbeat later, Ashton was pushed forward, tripped into Calum, sending them both stumbling into the middle of the room. Calum caught Ashton with ease. He had probably expected the door to fly open.

“What happened?” was the first thing Michael asked, looking alarmed. Luke was hot on his heels, looking around the room with that look in his eyes that he only got when he was in what Ashton liked to call his ‘soldier mode’. Ashton closed the door behind them and turned to three pairs of waiting eyes.  

“Ashton knows where my mother is,” Calum said from where he had perched himself on the foot end of Ashley’s bed. Luke and Michael turned their heads so fast Ashton thought they would break their necks. Michael stared at Calum and the both of them engaged in a silent conversation that Ashton didn’t even bothered to try to understand.

In the meantime, Luke looked at Ashton, “Are you sure?”

Ashton nodded.

“Where is she?” Michael asked, prying his gaze away from Calum in order to look at him.

“Okay, hear me out,” Ashton raised his hands and wandered over to Ashley’s desktop. Quickly, he punched in her password and began typing.

“Let’s see what we know so far, yeah?”

Michael made an impatient noise, but Luke held him back with a hand on his arm. Calum just waited.

“You said she was gone, suddenly, but she isn’t dead because you would have felt that.”

“Yes,” Luke said, urging him on.

Ashton nodded his head. “And then you found the cloth and on it were what you thought are discharge residues. It smelled like iron and gun powder.”

“We know all of this,” Michael said.

“Yeah, but it weren’t discharge residues. The gun didn’t get fired because Joy didn’t echo pain and let’s be real a gunshot is loud, you would have heard that.”

“What are you saying?” Calum asked, not rudely. Just desperate.

“Yeah, I'm not following either.” Luke frowned.

Ashton took a deep breath. “Joy didn’t get shot because there was no gun. However Joy got taken, it wasn’t because she was shot.”

“Okay, but why did she smell like bullets then?”

“Because her abductor did.” Ashton turned the laptop screen around for the others to see. “The piece of cloth must have come in contact with whoever took her when it got ripped off and the abductor had the scent on him. The gun powder and iron don’t stem from bullets. I mean they were supposed to be, but they never got made. Just traces of them remained, enough so that the smell of the one who did this got imbued with the scents.”

“Griffin Ammonition?” Calum asked, looking at the screen. “A munition factory?”

Ashton raised his finger. “An abandoned munition factory." He smiled. “The night you bit me, I went to a party not a mile away from the factory building. The area around there is quite popular with my school’s people because it has this ghost town vibe to it. No one goes there normally so no danger of any parents materialising. And it’s…”

“... just outside of our territory,” Michael said, lowly.

Ashton nodded and Calum took the laptop from him and placed it on the desktop. Ashton watched him type the address of the factory into the search engine.

“Plum Creek Hill, that’s almost in Saint’s.”

“Shun’s territory?” Luke asked incrediously. “You think she has something to do with this?”

Ashton needed a moment to place the name. Then he remembered the female alpha he had met on the night of his authorisation, and especially her slightly creepy, slightly feral daughter.

"I would like to think else.” Calum shook his head, but his expression remained grim. Ashton could almost hear the cogs turn behind his forehead. He suppressed the urge to take Calum’s shaking hands into his.

“Doesn’t matter now anyways,” Michael said. “Whoever did it will pay when the time has come. Can we please get the fuck to this factory now?”

All eyes turned towards Calum and the alpha rose. He opened the door and looked at Ashton, who hurried to lead the way out of of Ashley’s room and down the flight of stairs, by now littered with chatting pairs of people.

It wasn’t until they had reached the bottom of the stairs that their way was blocked by a very determined, unfortunately very sober looking Ashley.

“Woah, there! Why do you look like you’re leaving?”

Ashton squirmed at the prospect of what was about to come.

Ashley had been planning her party for weeks, probably even before her and Lido had gotten together. The past few days Ashton’s phone had blown up with fairy light offers and playlist suggestions, beggings for him to ask his mother for her car so they could buy booze in the town next over where they didn’t ask for ID at the one liquor store along Main Road and there was simply nothing bigger, more important in Ashley’s life than this party right now. Because Ashton’s best friend wasn’t a wolf, she didn’t have to deal with people turning into animals and hunters wielding guns and blades and crossbows and mothers getting abducted. Ashley was normal and Ashton was not anymore and how could he ever make that up to the only person that had never once let him down in his seventeen years of being.

“Ashton,” Calum said, quietly behind him. Ashton could feel the overwhelming need to move, go and finally, _finally_ find Joy resonate throughout his whole body.

He killed the echo. Ashton was too busy with the other pain seizing and pounding in his chest, one that he could see unfold a second later in Ashley’s eyes, because of course she knew, even before Ashton had opened his mouth.

“I’m so sorry. We have to leave, but I swear, I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry.”

And with that, Ashton pushed past her, his pack following him as he made a beeline for the door.

“What the-- Ashton! Michael! What the hell is going on? Hello? Ashton!”

As soon as they had made it outside, Ashton began to run. He didn’t want to imagine what they looked like, all of them clad in black, charging towards the only upper class car in the row lining the curb. They moved like a union. Of course, it wasn’t anything any of the people outside, witnessing them taking off, would be ever able to put their finger on. But Ashton had seen it before, with just Calum, Luke and Michael. They moved like limbs of the same body. He was one of those now.

Calum was on the driver’s seat and had the car running by the time Ashton dove onto the backseat. Luke got into the passenger seat and Michael slid in next to Ashton. Ashton’s hands were shaking by the time he pulled the car door shut. Through the tinted windows, Ashton could see Ashley stand on her front porch, staring after them with a speechless expression on her face. Calum maneuvered the car out of the parking spot and pushed the gas pedal down, the kickdown making the car surge forward.

“It will be alright,” Michael murmured, laying a comforting hand onto Ashton’s arm. Out of all of them, Michael was the only one that actually knew Ashley, had witnessed day over day how much his best friend meant to Ashton and how much her monthiversary party meant to her. “She will forgive you.”

Plastering the most convincing smile onto his face that he could muster, Ashton nodded and then turned away, turned to look at the night flying past the window. “Yeah... yeah, she will.”

His world had become bigger than that of a normal teenager. Ashton just wasn’t willing to allow even the slightest damage to his old life, even if he had outgrown it. Because he might have outgrown his old self, but he would never outgrow his family. He never would be able to. He just had to prioritise differently now.

*

Calum steered the car as far into the woods as he could before they had to leave it behind and simply ran the rest of the way. Ashton lead them the last mile before they reached the edge of the clearing the munition factory was located on. Unanimously, they took a few moments to take in the sight in front of them. The rectangular factory building was towering several stories high, the walls made from sheet metal glistening in the moonlight, several holes in the walls revealing a view into the pitch black inside. Ashton had seen the old munition factory several times from afar, over the treetops at the bonfire ground, but never this close.

“I can’t hear anything,” was the first thing Michael said.

Luke hummed in agreement, his piercing blue eyes pulling the factory apart inch by inch. “Yeah, me neither. It seems like there’s nobody in there. But that’s probably the whole purpose. They must be concealing Joy somehow, otherwise we would have been able to sense her presence a long time ago.”

Calum flinched at the mention of his mother’s name, not noticably, but Ashton saw it. The alpha examined the building like the rest of them, then took a step forward, his shoulders squaring.

“One of us has to go inside and see for themselves.”

Ashton pulled him back by his flannel, almost violently enough to make the fabric tear. It would have been a pity. Calum really did look exceptionally good in the fading maroon.

“I’m going,” Ashton kept talking before Calum could interrupt him, “You’re the alpha, Calum. Your life is much more valuable than mine.”

Ashton smiled, ignoring Calum’s protesting glare. “If I don’t come back, I’d rather have you on the rescue team, trust me. And these two need you…” Ashton nodded towards Luke and Michael, who stared back at him with the same expression of anguish and that sliver of hope, that tiniest bit of relief that stemmed directly from where their hands were interlinked. Ashton blamed neither of them for that. If it were differently, he would have never allowed Calum to go in there as well. He wasn’t doing it now just the same. But Ashton, Ashton was the expendable one. His pack had lived before him, and if this all went to hell, they would live on without him just the same.

“Ashton--” Calum tried to protest, but Ashton didn’t let him.

Instead, he stepped into Calum’s space like the other boy had done to him so many times before and wrapped his hands around Calum’s face.

“You deserve your mother back,” Ashton whispered and, more desperately than he would have liked to admit, Ashton pressed his lips to Calum’s, savoured the taste on his tongue. Then he stepped away, just far enough out of Calum’s reach that the other boy couldn’t pull him back. Keeping up the act of false self-certainty, Ashton smiled at his pack and then turned around to make a beeline for the abandoned building in front of him.

The door at the side of the building had to have been some kind of messenger or personnel entrance, as it was not more than a simple metal door with a rusty handle. The hinges gave a slight creak as Ashton pulled it open and slipped into the building.

*

The inside of the factory was, much to Ashton’s surprise, not as dark as he had expected. Moonlight fell in through the numerous holes in the roof where whole sheets of corrugated iron had been blown off, either by the wind or whatever fireworks students long before Ashton’s generation had ignited inside the factory. Remnants of the munition production were littered all over the place, empty bullet cases, scrap metal,  the ginormous cauldrons dangling from the ceiling at the far end of the hall and what looked like an oversized conveyor belt leading through the hall and ending in a broken off leg.

Ashton took a step further into the hall, held his breath and listened. He was alone. There was no hostile presence that he could sense, no other heartbeat that he could hear. Calmed just the tiniest bit, Ashton moved further into the hall, searching the area.

His body ceased all movements, however, when he heard a familiar creaking noise, that of the side entrance, and then footsteps, blood pumping, air whistling. There was somebody else in here with him.

Alarmed, Ashton dove into the next shadow and moved backwards, keeping his eyes on the sparsely illuminated area that he had come from. To say that Ashton jumped when a hand clamped down on his shoulder would’ve been an understatement. Breathing against the mildly serious heart attack seizing his chest, Ashton spun around, fully ready to use whatever fighting assets he possessed.

“Ashley!” Ashton whisper-yelled as he recognised the figure that had snuck up on him from behind and pressed a hand to his pounding heart. No, no, no, this was wrong. This was all wrong. Ashton was seconds away from panicking. “What are you doing here?!”

“I could ask you the same thing, asshole,” his best friend snapped right back at him, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Whether it was to emphasise her words or to keep herself from shivering (a fishnet top over a sports bra didn’t mix well with old, drafty factory building, temperature wise), Ashton wasn’t sure. “What in the heck do you think _you_ are doing?”

What Ashton was sure of was, that he was seconds away from hyperventilating.

“First you ditch my party with that super ominous excuse and then I follow your friend’s fucking almost sports car all the way in Lido’s shitty hatchback to find that you and the rest of your wannabe goth band have apparently decided to trespass into abandoned factories now. I saw them standing on the hill at the edge of woods, all of them with their eyes on the factory like some creepy spectators to a horror movie. What is wrong with you? Did you--” Ashley’s eyes went wide, her anger-reddened cheeks paling again as realisation lit up her eyes. “Ashton Fletcher Irwin! You did not join a satanic cult! Because I swear to god, if I have to tell Anne that I let you get involved with crazy shit like that, she will scalp you as well as me and I ain’t here for that kind of bull--”

Ashton clasped a hand over her mouth, immediately causing Ashley to go silent. She glowered at him.

“Can you… stop... please?” Ashton asked quietly, using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Ashley was really here, right next to him, in the lair of some psycho who was able to abduct werewolves without a trace.

Unceremoniously, Ashley clamped down her teeth on his hand, causing Ashton to retract his hand in an instant. “Ow!”

“You deserved that." His best friend huffed before looking around. “This is so fucking creepy, Ashton, I swear to god. This is like Supernatural season one to five kind of creepy, you know, when they had all these fucked up demons and vampires and shit in there that was--”

Ashton could tell by the sharp intake of breath that Ashley saw it in the same moment as he did. _It_ was a giant metal construction at the far end of the factory, wedged into the corner next to the humongous cauldron that had once been used to melt enough metal to fill a thousand rifles per day. The metal of the construction twinkled in the moonlight falling in through the open spots in the roof and Ashton realised then why they had never been able to reach out and find her.

“-- fucked up." Ashley finished her sentence and buried her nails in his upper arm with a whimper. “Ashton, do you see that there is someone inside that huge cage over there? Please, tell me that you see that there is someone inside that huge cage over there, because I see someone inside that huge cage over there and--”

“I see them, too.” Ashton whispered. He was pretty sure his heart stopped beating right then and there, and there were two reasons for that. The first was that he knew who was inside that cage, the view obscured by the tightly-meshed metal from that far of a distance, but Ashton didn’t need to be able to see or sense the motionless person’s presence to know who was inside that cage. The second reason was that he recognised the metal that the cage was made of as silver, the only substance along with aconite that worked like kryptonite on werewolves, as far as Calum had told him. Inwardly, Ashton shook the bad feeling from his gut.

“We have to free them,” he said, determinedly and took a step forward.

“Free them?! Ashton, I really don’t think that’s a good idea. This is all a bit too Saw to me. You know what we should do? I still think we should call the police.”

Ashton whipped his head around to look at her. “We can't!”

Ashley frowned at him. “Why not? What, are you like the mob or something? Oh my god, Ashton you didn’t join the fucking mafia, did you?”

“No, of course not!” Ashton shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Me?” Ashley whispered incredulously, but she followed him nonetheless as Ashton began to walk towards the cage with long strides. “I am the ridiculous one? What even-- okay, yep, there is definitely a lady in there. Please, god and Stanley Kubrick, make that we don’t get killed.”

Ashley took a step further away from the cage while Ashton came to a halt only inches away from the meshed wall separating him from the person inside. Even from this distance, Ashton could feel the effect of the silver. It was like holding his hand over a pot of boiling water. The urge to recoil was overwhelming. He let his eyes fall to the only door that was let into the otherwise seamless cage. Even the padlock was made out of silver.

“We have to crack that,” Ashton stated, causing Ashley to scoot closer again.

“I suppose you don’t have a key?” Ashley raised her hands at Ashton’s dead-eyed stare. “Sorry, sorry, humour is inappropriate, sorry. I’m nervous and freaked the fuck out, okay?”

Ashton averted his gaze back to the lock and Ashley took it in between her hands, her human skin unbothered by the silver.

Ashley let out a contemplative hum before she perked up. “Oh my god, this might totally go wrong, but I think I have an idea!”

Ashton watched how Ashley ran over to the abundance of banisters and forging utensils strewn around the area where the cauldron connected to the production belt.

“Quick, help me! Look for a banister that says that there is thermite in it!”

Ashton decided that there lay no sense in questioning Ashley’s motives. Instead, he allowed the confined energy at the bottom of his spine to spread through his body, far enough to reach his olfactory nerves. He recalled the smell of thermite from his Chemistry class days. That had been one of the only days he had attended, and his teacher had showed them a really cool, really dangerous and hence memorable experiment. Ashton thanked all the gods that Mr Bucksworth existed.

Not a second after he had kicked his wolf senses into motion, he had located a banister, oozing the smell he needed.

Determinedly, he rushed to the pile of banisters, ignored the biohazard stickers on most of them, and curled his fingers around the handle of the one he needed.

“Here,” he pushed the banister at Ashley, who took it from him with surprise. After she had checked the label, she hurried back to the cage. Ashton followed her on the foot.

“Okay, I’ve only seen this once and I pray to the universe that I won’t blow us up, but…”

Ashley rambled on, as she poured as much of the dark brown powder onto the lock as she could. As soon as she seemed content, Ashley handed Ashton the banister, who quickly set it down a couple of feet away. When he returned, Ashley was holding her lighter to the lock, her thumb on the ignition button and what was undoubtedly a silent prayer leaving her lips.

Uttering a single, desperate “please” Ashley pressed the button of the lighter down and immediately jumped back, straight into Ashton’s arms. Gaping, Ashton watched as the thermite, ignited, began to sizzle, and burn itself into the silver. In fat drops, the silver melted off and formed a small, steaming puddle on the ground until the arch of the lock was thin enough and the lock simply fell off, right into the puddle where the reaction finally ceased.

“That…” Ashton stared at the lock in the puddle and then his best friend. “That was fucking amazing, Ashley.”

“Thanks." The blue-haired girl grinned at him and, with one, perfectly executed karate kick opened the door of the cage. The rubber of her plateau shoes squeaked over the metal. “I happen to have good connections to the Science Club.”

Ashton wasted no time answering her  and, instead, crossed through the silver frame.

In the middle of the cage, a woman was sitting cross-legged on the ground. Her body was relaxed, despite the fact that her whole posture was upright. Even her chin was lifted, almost defiantly, and her eyes were closed. Ashton could see the woman’s eyes move rapidly behind the lids, as if she was dreaming and maybe she was. Lines over lines, convoluted and intercrossing, had been drawn on the woman’s skin with what Ashton thought to be a mixture of spit and the dirt and ashes on the ground around them. She had done it herself. Ashton traced the lines up to the short sleeves and collar of the floral-patterned blouse the woman was wearing.

And Ashton didn’t need a photo in a study in a house too far away from here, or the striking physical resemblance to the person that meant most to him in this world. He would have recognised the woman everywhere, in total darkness and in a room without sound or smell. Because Ashton could feel it, could feel that this was a member of his pack. The woman was a wolf, a wolf he was meant to run with.

The sob that made its way up his throat was involuntary, but he let go of it anyways. Ashton thought he might’ve combusted otherwise. With shaking limbs, he let himself fall on his knees in front of the woman and laid his hand on her shoulder as gently as he could.

The reaction was infinitesimal. The woman’s body moved, yielded under his touch just a tiny bit, but she never woke. Desperation spread through Ashton’s body.

“Please,” he tried, tightening his grip a little and shook. The woman’s body moved, but her eyes didn’t open. “Wake up.”

“Please,” Ashton repeated, louder. To no avail. For a moment, Ashton contemplated slapping her, but even the the thought made Ashton recoil. He never would have dared.

“What’s wrong with the lady?” Ashley asked from behind him, visibly concerned.

Ashton ignored her in favour of laying a second hand onto the woman’s shoulder, and then letting it drop to her chest, feel the steady heartbeat pounding under the floral blouse, just to make sure it was really there.

“Please, wake up. You have to wake up. Calum, he needs you, and Mali, your daughter, she needs you also. And Michael and Luke and even I do, please. You don’t know me yet, but I am part of all of this now and you are too and Calum will not survive if you don’t wake up, so please.” Ashton ran a hand through his hair, resisted the urge to rip at his curls in desperation.

“Excita!” he tried, scraping together the little bit of Latin Calum had taught him. No reaction.

“I don’t think this is working, Ashton,” Ashley sounded worried, moreso about him than her now. “We should call a doctor, or--”

“Fuck!” Ashton swore. He could feel the blood beginning to heat up in his veins. His heart began to pound, faster, gaining pace and Ashton knew that if Ashley would have been able to see his face right now, she would have freaked out about the glowing, yellow state of his eyes. He was about to wolf out. He needed control, he needed--

Ashton’s mouth dropped open and his heartbeat gained pace, but for a different reason this time. Maybe, just maybe...

“Efferitas exeat,” Ashton said.

A stir. Ashton felt the skin beneath his hand twitch and he wanted to laugh.

_”It’s our mantra, no other pack has it but us.”_

Of course she had chosen these words. It was obvious that she had done this state of unconsciousness to herself, as a matter of protection until she was found. Until her pack would find her. The only ones who would know the words. And they couldn't have fit better. It was time for the truculency, the ferocity, for all this madness, to end. 

“Efferitas exeat,” Ashton repeated, more clearly, his tongue wrapping easily around the complicated vowels and then he retracted his hands.

Dried ashes and dust trickled on the ground as the woman opened her eyes. Familiar, abyss-like irides stared at Ashton, blinked and then a smile spread over the woman’s face. Joy Hood's voice was raspy as she spoke, rusty from the long time it hadn't been used, but her tone was warm when she said, “You smell like my son.”


	28. lights-out (I)

_lights-out_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. the time after sunset and before sunrise while it is dark outside_

_2\. the time when children are sent to bed_

 

Ashton could feel his cheeks turn red. He stumbled a bit, and found himself fish-mouthing at Joy for an embarrassingly long time, completely missing the amused glint in the woman’s eyes.

“I'm Ashton,” was the first thing that he thought to say.

Joy nodded and mustered him up and down. It was no condescending gesture, simply an attempt to size Ashton up. Joy's dark eyes remained kind as she did so, unassuming but not foolish and Ashton knew now, from whom Calum had gotten his calm aura. Despite the obvious physical marks of the capture, Joy seemed mentally unscathed.

 _My mother's a strong wolf_.

“It is very nice to meet you, Ashton,” Joy said eventually, her shoulders relaxing, and for the first time Ashton saw exhaustion in the woman’s eyes. “Very good.”

Joy swayed and if she wouldn’t have been sitting, she would have probably tumbled to the ground. Ashton hurried to zip open his hoodie and lay it around her shoulders. He used the opportunity to steady Joy by wrapping a hand around her upper arm.

Ashley, coming up from where she had backed away several feet, hurried to do the same on Joy’s other side. Ashton could see the great big question mark in her eyes, but Ashton was helping this woman, so Ashley was too.

“Thank you,” Joy said and Ashton knew that she meant more than just the hoodie. He inclined his head.

“Is my son...” Ashton watched Joy search the area behind Ashton, come up empty.

“Calum's right outside,” Ashton assured her. “I'm just the scouting commando. He'll be over the moon to see you, again, I can tell you. Calum's been looking for you since the moment you got taken. We all have, these past months. It's been a long time, but we've found you now so--”

“Uhm, Ashton." It was Ashley’s disconcerted tone, more than anything, that made him halt in his words. Ashley, whose eyes were wide now, grabbed his arm with her free hand, her voice dropping to a frightened whisper. “Do you hear that?”

Alarmed, Ashton listened. He didn’t need his wolf’s hearing to hear the steps. They were loud, heavy steps on the ground, followed by the unmistakeable bang of the side entrance door falling close. Whoever had just come in didn’t bother being quiet.

Panicked, Ashton set the energy confined at the bottom of his spine free and focussed on his senses. It took him more concentration than usual, probably due to the giant clump of silver around him, but eventually Ashton managed to access his heightened senses.

He could smell rubber and jersey fabric.  He heard the newcomer breathe, the dirt on the floor being ground by shoes. A fourth heartbeat, just that much quicker than that of a human being.

Ashton was on his feet and at the door of the cage within a heartbeat.

“Stay in the cage and push the door close behind me,” he commanded Ashley, way calmer than he felt. “Hold it close.”

Ashton knew that as long as Ashley held the silver of the door and frame connected, no werewolf would able to come inside. And it was a werewolf that had joined them.

“What are you-- are you crazy? Ashton!” Ashley tried to hold him back, but Ashton had already left the cage.

“Do what I told you!” he roared back.

Ashley flinched, but pressed the door shut behind him. There was fear in her eyes and Ashton got angry, angry because he had dragged her into this and now his best friend was in danger. Ashley maybe was about to get hurt because he hadn’t managed to close his new life off.

So far it had been two separate worlds for Ashton, his life at school, at home, everything that made up the parts of him from before that night and then his newfound life as a member of Calum’s pack. It was a breach in the line he had drawn that kept everything he tried so hard to protect from this life, this new part of him, safe. And Ashton couldn’t allow anything supernatural to cross the border between these two. Ashton couldn’t allow any monster to cross the line into his normalcy, come in contact with the normal, human, unequipped people in Ashton’s life.

How very non-existent the border that he had so desperately tried to guard was, became clear to Ashton when the strange wolf stepped out of the shadows, directly into a beam of moonlight and Ashley inside the cage gasped.

“Petrov?!”

Ashton had made up theories, of course, in his mind about who was responsible for all of this. One of his school bullies had never been among the suspects. It was another breach, another monster crossing the border. It was a thrumming in Ashton’s skull, a prickling sensation down his spine that made the confined energy at the bottom of it flare. Ashton instinctively widened his stance as he felt his fangs elongate in anticipation, his nails growing into claws. Seeing Kyrill Petrov saunter into the middle of the hall made Ashton’s stomach churn.

“Petrov, what the fuck are you doing here?” Ashley’s voice got quieter, from a bellow down to a whisper, the longer she talked.

Ashton wanted to ask the same thing. He furrowed his brows. Kyrill’s last name, said with gravity like that, rang a bell far in the back of his head, but he couldn't remember where he had heard it before.

Kyrill smiled at Ashton as he came to a halt, light eyes piercing through him. He was barefoot and shirtless. Kyrill lifted one of his muscular arms and inspected his fingernails. Ashton watched them grow into claws as Kyrill looked up. His expression was almost bored, but Ashton could see the devilish glint in the other boy’s eyes.

“I am happy that you are here.”

Kyrill’s accent was heavy, but his intonation was flawless and Ashton wanted to laugh because the last time he had seen the other boy he had wondered whether Kyrill spoke English in the first place, or how he was doing in school as a foreigner. Ashton had almost felt sympathetic.

“It took you a long time, mouse, to wander into the trap. So long almost,” Kyrill’s eyes flicked to the inside of the cage for only a second, “that the cheese rotted. But I knew you were anosmic, Ashton Irwin. You _never_ smelled me, did you?”

Ashton couldn’t help the growl that build up in his throat. He hadn’t. He hadn’t known that Kyrill was a werewolf. He hadn’t known any-fucking-thing.

“Oh, but I smelled you. I have to admit I was surprised. Carter’s hatred for you was pathetic. I never understood why he felt the need to beat someone down who couldn’t fight back in the first place. Humans,” Kyrill shuddered dramatically.

“But then… suddenly you weren’t one of them anymore. You became like me. You were supposed to be my brother, did you know?” Kyrill’s gaze was almost lovingly, then his expression turned sour, almost indignant. “My uncle chose you before that insolent child alpha came along and pretended he had any claim to you.”

And Ashton felt his stomach drop. Aleko. Ashton vividly could remember the other alpha, the sole reason he was here in this very moment. _Don't get too comfortable, beta._ The words still made a chill run down his spine. Aleko was responsible for this, not only for Ashton’s bite, but for everything. Ashton felt like he was about to throw up. He knew he hadn’t been the reason why Calum’s mother had been taken, that had been months before Ashton had walked into the woods the first time. But Calum’s defiance to claim Ashton had surely pissed the other alpha off even more.

“You left an empty seat at the table, Ashton, and empty seats are not a nice sight. I can’t wait until all of this is over and you will fill it. You must know,” Kyrill smiled that demon-like smile of his and Ashton felt his claws dig into his hands where he had curled his fists, “We can’t wait to welcome you to our pack. ”

“Go to hell,” Ashton seethed.

Kyrill continued as if he hadn’t talked at all, “Oh, don’t sulk. Of course, you aren’t the mouse we were trying to catch,” Kyrill’s grin faded into a frown, before his smile turned nonchalantly, “but you will have to do for now. I promise, I won’t kill you, not quite, just enough to make it believable. You see, an alpha is much easier to kill when he is mourning the loss of a beta.”

Maybe it was Kyrill’s threat to Calum’s life, maybe Ashton’s hatred for himself because he hadn’t realised that Kyrill had been so much more than just one of Carter’s gorillas all along, but Ashton saw red. He turned around. Ashton could see the confusion, and above all fear, in Ashley’s eyes as he caught her gaze.

“I am sorry,” he said, hoped that Ashley would remember his words when she fought against the memories this night would give her. “I am so very sorry.”

The confusion on Ashley’s face grew, but Ashton had already turned away, back to Kyrill. The other boy grinned and began to unbotton his jeans. Ashton hurried to shed his own clothes, pulled his shirt over his head and the bandana out of his hair. He hastily stepped out of his jeans while Kyrill took the time to fold his own, almost phlegmatically, and place it gently on the dirty ground.

“Very good,” Kyrill said. “Having to find new clothes all the time does get incredibly tiring after a while, doesn’t it?”

Ashton threw his head back and pushed out a single, short-lived howl. Then he took a running start, jumped and set the confined energy at the bottom of his spine free.

*

“This is taking too long,” Michael grumbled. He was steadily treading on the ground, visibly fighting the urge to walk back and forth like Luke knew he wanted to. Michael and pent up nervousness didn’t mix well. “I can’t sense anything. I even lost Ashton when he walked into that building. Something is blocking us.”

Luke, from his position on the ground where he had taken a knee, watched Calum take a deep breath. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what the alpha was thinking. Luke could see Calum’s eyes constantly swaying from the side of the building where Ashton had disappeared, to the holes in the walls, to the surrounding areas. Calum smiled at him when he realised Luke was looking at him, but it was just as tight-lipped and concerned as Luke felt.

“I don’t like this,” Michael added and Calum twitched. “Maybe we should do something. I vote we--”

Whatever Michael’s plan had been, it became irrelevant in the next moment as a short, laconic howl cut through the night. Luke felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand up.

“Calum!” Michael called out, but their alpha had already taken off. Calum shifted mid-jump, the remnants of his clothes trickling in scraps to the ground. Then the black wolf was running towards the factory. Luke stood up, Michael was already busy shedding his clothes.

They shared a short glance.

“You know I love you, yeah?”

Luke nodded. He knew. “Give me your heart and I will give you my hand.”

Michael smiled at him.

Carefully, Luke took off the necklace that the purple-haired boy had gifted him so many years ago and hid it in the back pocket of his jeans, before placing his clothes on top of the pile Michael had complied. Luke rightened his back and pressed his lips to Michael’s clavicle. He breathed in the familiar scent of Michael’s shower gel and the hint of cologne that Michael had started wearing recently. Luke would have been able to recall the scent from memory alone, as he could with every other detail making up the other boy.

Luke pulled away, took a deep breath and turned back to the factory. Michael’s hand splayed out on his back, his fingernails lining up with the scars marring the skin, and like that Michael pushed him forward. Luke shifted during the fall from the hill. He took no time shaking out his limbs but instead made a beeline for the factory building.

Michael overtook him halfway and if Luke could have smiled, he would have. Of course, Michael didn’t let him go first. Luke couldn’t deny the sense of security it gave him, the knowledge that wherever he went, Michael was there, watching out for him. Luke urged his muscles to contract faster and together they ran through the night to where their pack needed them.


	29. lights-out (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title-giving song for this chapter and the prior is "Fear" by X Ambassadors. It also makes a brilliant soundtrack to what's going on, hehe. *clears throat* Enjoy!

Ashton landed on his paws. With his ears lain flat to his head, he ripped his snout open and snarled at Kyrill, who barked right back, almost enthusiastically. He was bulkier than Ashton as a wolf, much like in human form. His fur was a saturated chocolate brown like his uncle’s and if Ashton squinted, he could almost pretend it was Aleko.

Ashton didn’t know how to fight. He wasn’t violent by nature and they had never breached the topic of turning so as a wolf during his shifting lessons. So all Ashton could do right now was to trust his instincts, let the wolf take over.

Ashton didn’t wait until Kyrill would attack him, but surged forward. He aimed for the other wolf’s hind leg. Kyrill seemed to have foreseen his move, however, and leapt to the side, using his position to rest his paws on top of Ashton’s side a moment later, striking his claws over the skin. With a pained yip, Ashton shook the other wolf off and went for the hind leg once again. Kyrill rammed into his side before Ashton could bury his teeth in the bulging muscle. In a bundle of snapping jaws and kicking legs, they rolled over.

Kyrill was strong and Ashton struggled not to get crushed under the other wolf’s considerable weight but he managed to hold his own. Quickly, he backed a few steps away and wagged his tail, calculating. Kyrill looked a lot more unamused now, saliva flying as he bared his teeth. His eyes flashed as he growled at Ashton. Ashton snarled right back, raising his head and tail. There was only one growl he feared, only one wolf he would ever lower his head to and that was his alpha.

Kyrill charged forward and Ashton skipped away in a half circle, then spun around himself and leapt back towards the other wolf. Ashton tried to bury his teeth in the back of Kyrill’s neck, but Kyrill pressed his upper body to the ground and Ashton missed, the energy of his leap sending him flying straight over the other wolf. Ashton landed on his back and fell to the side, struggled to get himself back on his feet. Before he could do so, Kyrill was already on him, burying his teeth in the side of his neck.

The whimper Ashton let out was loud and shrill, even to his own ears. Ashton knew he was in trouble when his paws, along with the rest of his body, left the ground. Kyrill hurled him around by the teeth he had buried in Ashton’s flesh, like Ashton was a rag doll his owner had thrown him. Ashton fought against the waves of pain attacking his side in electric jolts before Kyrill eventually sent him sailing through the air. Ashton’s flight was abruptly stopped by the high wall of the silver cage.

With a yelp, he crashed into the barrier and flopped to the ground. The smell of dirt and iron was overwhelming as the side of his face was pressed onto the ground. Ashton felt his vision dim as he watched Kyrill approach him, slowly, enjoying it, with his teeth bared more for fun than to threaten. If he could have, Ashton was sure, Kyrill would have been laughing at him.

It was a low, almost inaudible gasp that shocked Ashton back into consciousness. Ignoring the pounding sensation at his neck, Ashton turned his head as far as he could and glimpsed inside the cage. Ashley was way closer to him than she should have been, the hand she had reached out almost touching the mesh. Ashton wanted to growl at her, make her retreat back into the middle of the cage, but it came out as more of a whimper than anything else. Ashley said his name, inaudibly so, her eyes too wide to express anything but shock and Ashton bumped his head against the mesh of the cage before he looked away and on.

He had landed a mere metre away from the entrance door of the cage. Desperately, Ashton began to feel for his hind legs, kicked the ground as he tried to move himself. Kyrill growled, smoothly and the message was clear, mocking Ashton: Running was futile.

Ashton let the other wolf live with that fantasy. If he could just block the door of his cage with his body, Kyrill wouldn’t be able to get inside. Determined, Ashton let the muscles of his hind leg contract and pushed himself further over the ground.

He glanced back, watched as Kyrill advanced on him. When he was a mere foot away, Kyrill bared his teeth. Ashton could see the thrill of the kill in the brown wolf’s eyes and Ashton halted. He wouldn’t get any further. The only consolation he had left now was that he had made it halfway.  A good portion of his upper body was lying in front of the cage door. Ashton heaved his head off the ground and snarled at the other wolf, one last time. Kyrill grinned, lowered his jaw so that Ashton had an uninhibited view of his massive, sharp teeth, and Ashton watched him take half a step back, ready to charge.

It was the howl, even before the distinctive sound of a door being burst open and off its hinges that let Ashton know. Kyrill’s expression faltered, his ears perking up as he spun around, just to be rammed into in the next moment. Kyrill landed on his side, the large, black wolf towering above him. Calum didn’t give Kyrill any time to recover.

Teeth bared, the black wolf aimed for the brown wolf’s throat, eyes glowing a vicious, light yellow. With a bark so terrifying it made even Ashton flinch, Calum sunk his teeth into the bulging muscle of Kyrill’s shoulder. The brown wolf let out a yelp, but Calum didn’t let off, dug his teeth into the flesh over and over again before he hurled the brown wolf halfway across the factory, into the middle of the room.

Kyrill hadn’t landed yet when Ashton saw Luke and Michael appear at the hole in the wall that Calum had left. They attacked in perfect synchronicity, keeping Kyrill fixated on the ground while Calum walked over, his intention clear with every step he took. The growl Calum was emitting was petrifying; a death sentence.

Ashton felt it in his bones, and every cell of his body that vibrated with the presence of his alpha. Where Calum was now a mere foot away from Kyrill, he came to a halt and his body bent back, ready to leap. Michael and Luke backed away. They weren’t needed anymore. It was now pure fear-induced impassivity that kept the brown wolf on the ground.

Ashton tried to roll himself onto his feet, but his left hind leg wasn’t responding to his commands, his bones and fur too heavy. He tried to bark, but it didn’t come out louder than a yip. Ashton was pretty sure Calum hadn’t even heard.

And then Ashton was moved. From the inside, Ashley pressed against the cage door with all her might. Ashton hurried to shift his weight to the opposite side, and Ashley let out a triumphant noise as she managed to push the door open wide enough for her to help Joy hobble through. The woman’s stance was stable, despite a bit shaky, and Ashton watched them pass him before they came to a halt halfway between the cage and the scene in the middle of the factory hall.

“Calum,” Joy said, her voice calm, collected and so eternally tender that Ashton couldn’t help but let his eyes fall shut for a moment, hold onto the sound a little longer.

The effect was imminent. Despite the fact that Joy had neither raised her voice, nor spoken loudly in the first place, the growl that Calum was emitting ceased as the black wolf’s body went rigid. Ashton could see the muscles in his legs and back twitch.

“He’s just a boy.”

The black wolf’s head lowered as he looked down at the brown wolf on the ground, clearly guided by Joy’s voice. The growl he had uttered before picked back up, his tail wagging, muscles tensing again.

“This is not his work. Do not kill him.”

Calum ripped his snout wide open, and dipped his head down. Kyrill gave a pitiful whimper as Calum let his jaw snap shut, just millimetres from Kyrill’s throat. Michael and Luke were quick to act. Luke rested his paws back on the brown wolf’s lower body while Michael kept his teeth shortly in front of Kyrill’s neck, the message clear. Should the brown wolf only so much as try to move, Michael would end him. Kyrill jammed his tail between his hind legs, the ultimate gesture of submission.

Calum shot him one last snarl, showered him in dirt as he turned around, heavy paws leaving traces in the sheet of dust covering the ground. The golden in Calum’s eyes faded to their normal dark amber tone as they landed on his mother.

Ashton didn’t have to be able to see Joy’s face to know that she was smiling as she reached out a hand, “Ngaku tama.”

Upon that, the black wolf let out a whimper, and, within a heartbeat, had crossed the short distance between himself and the woman calling out for him. Calum stopped short before he had reached his mother, though, and tripped a step back, as if he was afraid his zeal would hurt his mother.

Joy shook her head and bridged the remaining distance with a short laugh, clasping her hands around the large ears of the black wolf and pressing her face to the bridge of Calum’s forehead. The black wolf’s eyes fluttered shut. Calum let out a soft growl this time, almost like a hum and Ashton could feel it, could feel the echo of overwhelming joy Calum was giving off, despite the silver weakening his senses. He felt exhilarated himself.

Calum had his mother back. Ashton had kept his promise. He closed his eyes with a deep feeling of content.

That was, until something wet, yet incredibly soothing, ran over the soft fur of his ear. Ashton wanted to push it away with his head, but putting in the effort and moving his limbs was just too much at the moment. Then there was a nose-shaped pressure against his forehead, the side of his snout and the pitiful yip that followed his motionlessness was enough reason for Ashton to put in the effort and pry his eyes open. The big, black wolf towering over him reacted immediately, doubling his efforts to bump and lick Ashton into consciousness. Eventually, Ashton managed to heave his head off the ground with the last of his energy and, more weakly than he would have liked, bit Calum around the nose.

The expression on the black wolf’s face was priceless as he stumbled back, much like the first time Ashton had done it, and then he was all over Ashton, nuzzling his jaw and neck, yipping happily.

“Stop that! Get away from him, you stupid fucking dog! You licking him like a tennis ball won’t help him!”

Ashton wasn’t sure whether a wolf could look offended, but the expression on Calum’s face was purely comical, as Ashton watched his 5’4 best friend push an almost 6’1 monster out of the way in order to plant herself in front of him. There was a determination in Ashley’s eyes that almost managed to overtone the fear beneath. It was only that Ashton knew her so well that he noticed. Much like Ashton had expected, Ashley overplayed it. “Shit, don’t look like a drowned rat… dog, whatever! You can understand me, right? You’re one of them?”

Calum widened his stance, tilting his snout upwards, before he inclined his head into a short nod and Ashley rolled her eyes. “Great, then you can fuck off. This is my best friend and he needs someone with an opposable thumb. So unless you can grow those too, you and your humongous paws can make some space right now.”

And with that, Ashley leaned forward and began to examine the tooth marks on Ashton’s neck. Ashton could see her eyes widen as she watched the wound heal right beneath her hands.

Calum let out a low growl, but immediately ceased his efforts when he caught Ashton’s glare. Instead, he uttered what Ashton could only describe as a huff and gracefully traipsed the few steps around them until he was behind Ashton. Ashton could feel the ground revibrate as the black wolf let himself fall on his hind legs, then lowered his upper body so he could rest his head on Ashton’s side, right where his ribs began. Calum watched Ashley work with attentive eyes, baring his teeth whenever Ashton flinched under her touch.

“You know,” Ashley murmured as she began to push Ashton’s wounds together to make them heal faster. “I knew you became like… different, when you got involved with these, but... “ Ashley didn’t look at him and Ashton could see the tears rising in her eyes before she swallowed it down. “But I thought that Michael was kinda nice and I surely didn’t expect this, obviously.” Ashley laughed, humourlessly. “I’m still not sure someone didn’t put some hallucinogen into my beer and I’m actually still at my party while Lido is calling an ambulance.” Ashton could feel the tremor in her hands against his fur, and then Ashley lifted her gaze, met Ashton’s gaze for the first time. “You have the same eyes like this, did you know?”

The whimper had left Ashton’s throat before he could reign it in. Slowly, fearfully, Ashley placed her palm on the bridge of Ashton’s snout, the skin at his neck having all closed up. Ashton’s eyes fluttered close on their own accord and before he could help himself, Ashton had bumped his nose into Ashley’s shoulder.

“And you’re still a stupid idiot… idiot dog…” Ashley took a deep breath and shook her head against his fur. “... werewolf.”

There was so much love, encompassing the fear and disbelief and pure anguish in Ashley’s voice that Ashton couldn’t help but heave himself to his feet, shaking Calum off in the process, who backed away. As soon as Ashton was back on his paws, Ashley’s arms were wrapping around his neck. Her arms weren’t long enough for her hands to touch behind Ashton’s head, so she buried her hands into his fur.

“At least you’re soft,” the blue-haired girl sniffed into his ear and Ashton couldn’t help but bark in laughter. From their spot in the middle of the room, still busy keeping Kyrill in check, Michael and Luke chimed in, until Calum did, too, and then they were howling. The sound made the ground beneath them shake, and produced a thrumming in Ashton’s bones. It left Ashton almost drunk, vibrating with the power of his own pack. He couldn’t believe it, that they had made it. They had found Joy and brought Kyrill down.

The answer started out lowly. It was a growl, ominous and unanimous, too many voices for Ashton to count, making every hair of on Ashton’s body stand in alarm. As soon as it reached her ears, Ashley let go of his neck, pressed herself deeper into the space between his neck and leg.

“Ashton?” she whispered, but Ashton didn’t have time to answer. He looked at Calum, who was standing next to his mother now. His ears were pointed upwards, his whole body alert. Calum’s gaze was directed to the entrance door.

Ashton waited only until he had caught the first glance of a light, vanilla-coloured snout before he began to move, push Ashley backwards by bumping his head into her stomach. Ashley didn’t protest. Ashton could smell the fear on her as he pushed his forelegs off the ground and rested his paws on the mesh of the cage door. He repeated the action twice before Ashley understood, and hurried back into the cage. Ashton threw the door shut behind her by throwing the side of his body against it, then took a stance in front of it.

Luke was the first to arrive at his side, positioned himself next to him. Michael was hot on his paws, positioned himself on Luke’s other side. Calum held a short staring contest with his mother, looking at her with a plea in his eyes, directed his gaze towards the cage, and then back at his mother.

Joy answered with a smile and rested her hand on the underside of his snout before she shook her head. “I will not hide while my son fights, tama. I have protected you from the wolves when you were a child and I will get in their way now.”

Calum let out a miserable yip.

“I am your mother, Calum.” Joy’s smile grew. “That’s my duty.”

And with that, Calum’s mother took a step back and, faster than Ashton had thought it to be possible, shifted. Joy’s fur was jet black like her son’s, her eyes glowing golden as she took a stance next to her son. Her build was more lithe than Calum’s, the nearly four months in captivity having contributed to that, but her movements were executed with intent. Joy was a strong wolf. Ashton counted himself lucky that he was on the same team as her.

Ashton’s attention shifted as, in the middle of the room, Kyrill struggled to his feet, a new spark in his eyes as he shook out his fur. He bared his teeth, almost grinningly, the same time the first wolf entered the factory hall. It was a she- wolf, her body, like Joy’s, more lithe than that of a male would have been.

The vanilla colour to her fur told Ashton that the girl must have been blonde as a human. Her light grey eyes surveyed the room quickly and efficient. Ashton recognised the devilish glint in her eyes without having to be told to which pack she belonged.

Behind her, more than a dozen other wolves entered the factory hall, forming a half circle, circling them in. The last of them, Ashton would have recognised everywhere. He had dreamt of the massive, chocolate brown wolf. The night he had been bitten had haunted him in his sleep to this day. Aleko bared his fangs as he broke out of his pack’s formation and took a step forward.

Calum reciprocated and met him halfway, his ears glued to his head as he ripped his snout open, just as wide as Aleko’s, and growled. Joy backed away, but Ashton noticed that she was moving more sideways than backwards, ready to blindside whoever was to come for her son first.

Maybe it was the tension in the air, drawing all of Ashton’s attention to the scene in front of him, or the pure anticipation of the fight simply making him unmindful of his surroundings, but it was Ashley’s voice alone, calling out his name from inside the cage, that warned him before the world exploded.


	30. doomed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have gotten a lot of comments about the cliffhangers at the end of the last chapters and I want to say that while of course technically they are fun for me, I am aware that they are unpleasant for you. I promise I do not do them to further your suffering, but rather because at this point in the story it's really impossible to insert a break where it would not end in a cliffhanger. There are a lot of plot lines that now all come to together so the action is high, and it's all so intense that the endings inevitably, too, become... intense. Then there are certain splits that are literally in the first notes I made for this story and I'd be sad to let them go (this regards the ends of this and the next chapter.)
> 
> I hope your love for this story will make you forgive this whole issue, if it doesn't I understand that. 
> 
> **A warning to the people, the good and the evil:** The Archive Warning tagged above applies heavily to this chapter. Please, be careful, if you are sensitive to such things. Also, regarding the end of this chapter, it is important for me to mention that I do not throw things at you that I didn't warn you about beforehand. But you'll understand when you'll get there. 
> 
> Now, enough of me talking. Enjoy!

_doomed_

_adjective_

_1\. condemned to ruination or death_

_2\. destined to end badly_

_3\. hopeless_

 

Shards of glass were raining from the ceiling, that was the first thing Ashton realised. He was careful to keep his head down as bodies followed the remnants of the now burst ceiling, sailing down on long, taut black ropes while simultaneously invading through the entrance gates. Ashton could hear Ashley scream behind him, and prayed that she had somehow understood to get down.

Ashton watched humans and wolves clash, screams and barks, the ear-splitting sounds of gunshots and fur-covered bodies dropping to the ground all forming a cacophony in his head. The sight of so many arrows sticking out of all shades of fur created an underlying static in his head.

 _“Shift back!”_ Calum’s voice resonated within his head, drowned out the cacophony, and for the first time since he had met him, Ashton seriously questioned his alpha’s sanity. He could feel Michael and Luke send matching echoes of confusion, but Calum had commanded them in his alpha voice, so there was no disobeying him.

Ashton ignored the pain as his body shrunk. He found himself on his hands and knees, dirt and little stones digging into his skin. Not a second later, there was something pointy, metal-smelling digging into the skin of his nape. Ashton froze, then slowly lifted his hands. A minimal tilt of his head to the side confirmed that the rest of his pack found themselves at arrow point as well. Something soft, suffocating hit his face. Ashton caught the piece of fabric with surprise.

“Get decent, dog.”

Ashton recognised the voice. He looked up. The man’s face was covered by what Ashton would describe as a black hockey mask, his dark eyes flashing through the eye holes, but Ashton was sure. He hurried to obey, and once he had made sure he was allowed to stand, stepped into the shapeless trousers the hunter had handed him. Ashton recognised Diego’s female partner behind the mask of the huntress that was giving Luke the same shapeless trousers Ashton had received.

Luke’s eyes met Ashton’s for only the fraction of a second and what Ashton saw calmed and worried him at the same time. There was a sense of pride in Luke’s eyes that Ashton had never seen before, something that, Ashton knew, had been long lost and buried along with Luke’s old life. Luke was proud that the hunters were intervening. That they had found them. What worried Ashton was the ocean deep concern that Luke was emitting simultaneously.

Next to Luke, another hunter was dealing with Michael, who wasn’t paying him any attention. Michael’s eyes were glued to Luke, more precisely the gun Diego’s partner was pointing at Luke’s spleen. The purple-haired boy bared his teeth when his hunter tried to keep him from taking Luke’s hand. He pulled Luke slightly behind him and the hunter and Diego’s partner gave up when they realised Michael wouldn’t cause them any more trouble as long as he was allowed to stay in his current position.

“At least pull on the trousers,” the huntress commanded and Michael didn’t resist, took the heap of fabric with a raised hand and lowered head. As soon as he was sure Michael wouldn’t provoke the hunters any further, Ashton let his gaze wander on, braced himself for what he was about to see.

There were three hunters on Calum instead of just one. Ashton could smell the nerve on the two hunters that were gripping Calum's upper arms, pointing their guns at the sides of Calum’s ribs with their respective free hands. It gave Ashton an irrational sense of pride, that they knew who Calum was, _what_ he was. Or maybe it was just fear.

A loud bang brought Ashton’s attention back to what was happening in front of them. The arrowhead pressing against his neck grazed his skin as Ashton reflexively turned his head to the origin of the noise. Through the demolished main gates of the factory hall, a final wave of hunters entered, lead by the headhuntress. The blonde woman, even more intimidating than usual now that she was clad in the black hunter armour, was flanked by two masked hunters holding flares. The surrounding wolves flinched back as the harsh light hit their overly sensitive eyes and allowed the hunters taking them on to force them into submission.

Ashton involuntarily took a step back from the light, but was shortly stopped by the arrow piercing into his skin. Upon Diego’s glare, Ashton raised his hands slightly, relaxing only when he saw the hunter avert his gaze back to the scene in front of them. Ashton didn’t plan on dying tonight. He had promised his brother he’d be there when Harry woke up. And if he died, his siblings would have no one left to take care of them. His mother tried, but two jobs didn’t leave any time for raising the kids she tried to feed. They needed him. As did Ashley, in the cage, who Ashton owed so many explanations he had yet to come up with, and his pack next to him, the limbs of the bigger body he had grown into. So Ashton kept his head low, plastered the same impassive expression onto his face he knew the rest of his pack was displaying.

In the middle of the room, the hunters were closing in on a group of four wolves. Ashton recognised Aleko, Kyrill and the vanilla-coloured she-wolf that had lead the Petrovian werewolves into the hall among them, along with another, mud-coloured brown wolf Ashton didn’t know.

The hunters were struggling visibly, their knives and silver nets useless against an alpha wolf the size of Aleko and what Ashton easily estimated to be the strongest members of his pack. The fight ended when the headhuntress arrived.

From behind her, a tall, blond man that Ashton recognised as Jack Hemmings emerged. Jack was wielding a claymore, the silver blade flashing in the moonlight and Ashton had no trouble imagining the weapon being centuries old. Even from the distance Ashton could examine the brass lion’s head forged onto the handle.  

The nameless, mud-coloured wolf was the first to fall victim to the weapon. Ashton closed his eyes when he saw the longsword slice open the wolf’s side, causing the wolf to crumble into a lifeless heap. When Ashton pried his eyes back open, the hunters had managed to pin both Kyrill and the vanilla-coloured she-wolf down. Only Aleko was left, standing in between his constrained betas and snarling at anyone who dared to come too close to him. The white of his eyes had turned red, framing the light hue of his irides.

“Enough,” the headhuntress spoke with gravity as she took a step forward. Immediately, Jack lowered the claymore and withdrew back to his position behind her. Aleko snapped at her.

“I said enough!” the headhuntress roared and Ashton wanted to whimper. He had never met a woman more terrifying in his life. He was pretty sure kings would have yielded under her stern, cutting gaze. “Return to your human form, Alpha Petrov, or by the laws of silver and claws I will hold every single werewolf of your pack accountable for this utter _mess_.”

To Ashton’s surprise, it was an echo that appeased him. Ashton turned his head to the side, and found Luke already looking at him, the hint of a comforting smile on his face. Another echo, reassuring this time, like a hand on his shoulder and Ashton nodded, if slightly bemused still, and turned back to what was happening in the middle of the factory hall.

The giant, brown wolf’s body quivered, and then began to sink in on itself, shrunk down until it was a human hand clutching the middle-aged man’s thigh where he was curled in on himself, his head coming to hang low between his arms. Ashton breathed against the intense stench of citrus and sandalwood Aleko was oozing.

In an instant, there were several arrows aimed at the wolf turned man. Aleko made sure to growl at every single hunter within his closer reach, before he turned back to the woman in front of him, his teeth bared.

The headhuntress lifting her chin, decisively unimpressed. “Shackle him, while I try to sort out this mess.”

Then she turned away and walked around the wolves, made a beeline directly to where Ashton was standing. The hunters left behind scrambled to obey her command. Ashton noticed that despite the fact that he could smell the fear on them, all of them were doing it with an impassive expression on their face.

“Alpha Hood,” the headhuntress greeted as soon as she had arrived in front of Calum.

Calum inclined his head, not the slightest hint of nerve in his tone as he spoke, “Headhuntress Hemmings.”

“Can you offer me an explanation for this pack war I had to sent my hunters to resolve?”

“I can,” Calum only continued after the headhuntress had motioned him to go on. “We, meaning my pack, I and a human belonging to one of my betas, have fallen victim to an ambush.”

Upon the word “human”, the headhuntress visibly perked up. Her eyes searched the area behind the pack. Her eyebrows raised when her eyes fell onto Ashley inside the cage.

“Free the girl”, the headhuntress snapped at Diego before turning back to Calum.

Ashton was momentarily distracted when Diego wrenched the door of the silver cage open and Ashley emerged like a cannonball, launching herself at Ashton. Ashton, having anticipated that, caught his best friend with ease and wrapped his arms around her middle. Diego narrowed his eyes at them, but Ashton didn’t yield, only pulled Ashley closer against him and bared his teeth as much as he dared. Diego, obviously appeased after Ashton visibly hadn’t sunken his fangs into Ashley the first chance he had gotten, turned away and back to the headhuntress.

“Ashton,” Ashley whispered into his neck, her voice trembling nearly as badly as her hands she had clasped behind his neck. “Fuck, Ashton.”

“It’s okay,” Ashton murmured back. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, let the familiar smell of his best friend and normalcy calm his frayed nerves. “It’s all going to be okay. Nothing’s gonna happen to you now, I promise. It’ll be over soon.”

Ashton began to rub his hand in soothing circles over Ashley’s back and pretended he didn’t feel the drops of saltwater hit his skin as he pried his eyes back open. Ashton flinched when he noticed the headhuntress’s stern gaze. The woman looked at him for only a couple of seconds longer before she turned back to Calum in front of her. Ashton didn’t miss the flash of emotion, _sympathy_ , in her eyes as she did so.

“Continue, Alpha.”

“We have fallen victim to an ambush,” Calum repeated, picking back up where he had left off, “and it was construed by Alpha Petrov.”

Where he was still on his knees, his hands now shackled behind his back, Aleko growled at the ground.

Calum ignored him. “My mother was taken from me four full moons ago, the council knows as much.”

The headhuntress nodded, her gaze flicking towards Joy, who was standing next to her son. The hunter holding her at arrowpoint watched her closely, but Joy didn’t move. She had received a shirt along with a pair of trousers, the black fabric stained grey where the lines of dust and saliva that adorned her skin were flaking off.

Calum leaned slightly towards her as he continued, “After an extensive search, we tracked her down to his factory. With the help of the human,” Ashley’s grip on Ashton’s shoulder tightened, “we were able to free her from the cage. It is made of silver so it is impermeable to us werewolves, and it weakens our senses. Therefore Alpha Petrov and his pack were able to surprise attack us. It was him who took my beta, my own mother, from me…”

For the first time since he had begun to speak, Calum’s voice shook, but he quickly gained his composure back. With his head held high, Calum met the headhuntress’s gaze. “My pack has surrendered immediately upon your arrival, because we hold the truce as high as the moon herself. We did not come here to fight. It was Alpha Petrov who lured us to this abandoned building to eradicate my pack and me myself. Alpha Petrov has broken the truce and he needs to answer for his crimes.”

Several seconds of silence passed after Calum had ended. Ashton felt like the whole room was holding their breath. Even the hunters keeping the lower wolves of Aleko’s pack in check seemed captivated by what was going on. Eventually, the headhuntress took a step back, turned away from Calum and walked back to the middle of the room. She positioned herself in front of Aleko.

The alpha raised his head until his eyes met hers, expression daring.

“Do you admit to what Alpha Hood has accused you of?” the headhuntress asked. “Do you admit to breaking the truce?”

Aleko let out a condescending laugh, loud and obnoxious in the otherwise dead silence of the hall. His eyes were gleaming bright as he said, “I have done right by myself.”

The headhuntress narrowed her eyes at him. “Explain how so. Plead your case, Alpha.”

“Oh, it is simple.” Aleko bared his teeth. “I won’t allow a little boy to be the alpha of what used to be my territory. He is a child, claiming a power that he has no right to. And then the momčence had the audacity to steal _my_ beta. I am not the one who broke the truce.” Aleko snarled. “Now rein in your hunters and let me go.”

Ashton watched the headhuntress’s sharp, blue eyes muster the alpha on his knees in front of her for a few long moments after Aleko had spoken. Then she turned to where Calum was standing, unmoving and with an impassive expression on his face. Ashton suppressed the urge to cower when the huntress’s eyes met his before they wandered on. Ashton saw something flicker behind the icy blue as the headhuntress’s gaze grazed Luke, half-hidden behind Michael, but she didn’t let her gaze linger. Instead, she looked back at Aleko.

“You have lost control, Alpha Petrov.” The headhuntress said, a sense of finality to her tone. Ashton shuddered at the disgust in her voice. “You have taken matters that _you_ defined into your own hands when you should have plead your case to the council. You have threatened not only the members of the Hood pack, and hurt one of Alpha Hood’s betas severely, but you have also endangered the life of a human.”

Ashley flinched when the headhuntress spoke of her. Ashton tried hard to shake off the urge to pick her up and run. But the arrowhead pressing into his back was too good of a counter argument.

“There is no truce in your mind, and therefore there is no truce in your pack. Not as long as you stand as their alpha.” The headhuntress let her eyes wander over every hunter and werewolf present before she announced her verdict, “Supplicium.*”

The reaction was imminent. Unanimously, the remaining members of Aleko’s pack began to revolt. Ashton watched the hunters fire two more arrows, both hitting hind legs, before even the last wolf submitted, most of them visibly bristling to do so. Ashton looked back at Aleko as soon he was sure none of the Petrovian werewolves would break free.

Ashton felt a shiver run down his spine as Aleko passed up all the pairs of eyes that were resting on him in favour of meeting Ashton’s. Broad, sharp teeth flashing in the moonlight, Aleko’s chest heaved, almost as if he wanted to laugh. He was laughing at Ashton. Quickly, Ashton directed his gaze back towards where the Hemmings were standing. He struggled to shake the shiver from his body. But he knew that soon it would be over. Even without knowing what the word meant, the reaction of the Petrovian werewolves had been a dead giveaway.

Ashton watched as the headhuntress took a step back, let her eldest son take her place.

Ben Hemmings raised his crossbow in one swift motion. There was no decipherable emotion in his icy blue eyes, as Ben fired the arrow and placed it right between Aleko’s eyebrows.

*

The snatch of the bowstring resonated louder than Ashton would have expected. Ashton watched Aleko’s corpse hit the ground with a dull, final thump, all the lunacy and power gone within the last beat of his heart and Ashton felt relief flood his veins.

Unanimously, the Petrovian werewolves shifted back, surrendered completely, and while their respective hunters were busy watching them do so, Ashton’s eye was caught by the one wolf that didn’t.

It was almost comical, how little Ashton was surprised. Kyrill had never known when to stop, even when he had just been a bully in school. With quivering limbs, caused by ferocity not fear as Ashton sensed, the last remaining chocolate-coloured wolf rose to his paws. The hunter watching him fired his gun, but it was already too late. Kyrill had leapt forward, landed halfway between the lifeless body of his uncle and the headhuntress. He ripped his snout wide open, snarled and then leapt another time.

Ashton stumbled to the side, as the body next to his moved. There was a scream, somewhere in Ashton’s throat, an overwhelming sense of _No!_ putting everything into slow-motion and fast forward at the same time as Ashton watched his brother, his bound by something stronger than blood brother, bridge the short distance between himself and harm’s way.

The shaggy blond, almost silver wolf crashed into Kyrill mid-air, the brown wolf’s snapping teeth missing the headhuntress’s head for a mere inch, sending her stumbling backwards. It was the revibration, the snatching sound making the surrounding air thrum, that told Ashton that Michael hadn’t been the only one that had noticed Kyrill’s intentions before the brown wolf had attacked. Two flashes of silver in the air were the only thing Ashton saw before the two wolves crashed to the ground.

“Michael!”

Ashton was sent stumbling to the side a second time, and this time he used the opportunity to let go of Ashley in order to push her into the chest of the hunter behind them.

“Protect her!” he barked at Diego, who raised his brows, but nodded and laid a hand on Ashley’s shoulder. Ashton didn’t get to see it, he had already taken off.  

It was Calum’s arm only, wrapping around Ashton’s waist, that kept him from dropping to his knees right next to Luke, where the blond boy was covering a good portion of the silver wolf’s body with his own. Michael was uttering an incessant whimpering that turned into a breathless bellow as he shifted back. There was an arrow sticking out of Michael’s abdomen and Ashton’s stomach sank.

He nearly broke his neck in his haste to look at the origin of the arrows. Ashton watched Ben Hemmings push his crossbow back into the holster on his back before the blond man hurried to his mother’s side and helped her up. Jack, coming up behind them, surpassed them, his claymore raised. For a single, irrational second, Ashton got scared. The feeling vanished as he watched Jack surpass them, too, and come to a halt in front of Kyrill’s writhing body. Ashton closed his eyes when he saw the blade flash in the moonlight, right before it came down. Ashton was sure that that sound, too, would forever ring in his ears. 

It was the guttural cough that Michael uttered that brought Ashton back into the here and now. Then Ashton caught sight of Luke.

“Michael,” the blond boy kept muttering, over and over, as he frantically ran his hands through the purple strands in his lap.

“... your mom,” Michael wheezed out. “She’s ... still your mom. I couldn’t…”

“Shh,” Luke shushed him, his movements becoming so erratic that Ashton feared he was going to rip out some of Michael’s hair if he kept the gesture up. “It’s fine. It’s all fine. You’re fine, you hear me? We can fix this! Right, Calum?”

Calum had been still behind where he was standing behind Ashton, but Ashton could feel everything that Calum felt. Ashton felt Calum’s nails dig into the skin of his love handle as Calum kept silent. Ashton understood why.

“Don’t worry, Michael,” Luke ignored his alpha and smiled down at his mate. “We will fix this.”

Michael reached out a hand and rested it on the blond boy’s cheek, leaving smears of red where he touched the skin. A single, strained cough made its way out of Michael’s throat before he spoke, utterance slurred but he was smiling, almost comically wide, “Luke.”

Luke let out a noise so pitiful Ashton knew it would take him years to ever forget what it had sounded like. He could feel it, all the agony resonating in his chest, and the overwhelming fear. For a great part, it was his own. Terror was spreading rapidly throughout his body, but it all faded as Ashton yielded under a pain so great it felt like one of his limbs was torn off.

* * *

1 _supplicium_ means "execution" or "death sentence"

 


	31. imber

_imber_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. pouring rain_

 

If someone were to ask Ashton, as he watched his friend lie dying with an arrow sticking out of his abdomen and scarlet coating the greater part of his chest and chin, how it all had come to this, there was nothing that Ashton could have said. Ashton simply didn’t know, how his life had turned into an outright war, with corpses littering factory halls and the few people he held close in life constantly threatened by things worse than the monsters in his children’s books. And even now, as Ashton heaved in a breath and calculated how much blood there was in a human body and how much Michael had lost already, Ashton heard nothing but static sound and he tasted nothing but salt water on his tongue while he watched the people that meant most to him struggling to heave Michael onto the metal cot in the middle of the room.

“C’mon, on three! One, two, now!”

It was Mali who commanded Luke and Calum. The stressed out expression on her face was in stark contrast to the dancing Minnie Mouse on her pyjamas. They had pulled her right out of bed, or rather Ashton had. It had been the logical decision. After Luke had spent the drive back to the house in the trunk of the jeep, making sure Michael laid still while Calum ran every speed bump and right light there was, there would have been no prying him away from Michael. The both of them.

Ashton was connected to Michael. The purple-haired boy was his brother, a part of him that Ashton couldn’t comprehend the importance of. But he didn’t have what bound Calum and Luke to Michael. He had had months, not years with Michael.

So Ashton had made a beeline for the house the moment Calum had brought the car to a stand still with screeching tires. Ashton had shook Mali out of her sleep, ignored her fiancé’s grumbling about it being three in the morning and lead her to the greenhouse. He had done what had been the sensible thing to do.

Ashton averted his eyes when Mali pulled back a hand to where she was hastily sticking electrode pads to Michael’s chest and wiped the blood off on her thighs, right over Minnie’s face. Ashton knew that, out of all the morbid images that had burnt themselves into his brain tonight, this was one of them.

It was Michael’s scream that pulled Ashton back into motion, violently, almost as violently as Mali had pulled the arrow out of his stomach. Michael’s eyes lit up golden as he bellowed out his pain, and then sunk back onto the cot, his eyes squeezing shut. Michael’s chest was rising in uneven intervals, air rattling through his teeth as he visibly tried to fight against the pain.

Luke was there, standing above his head, squeezing the hand Michael held intertwined with his, even in the short phases he had blacked out. The blond boy was whispering words of consolation into Michael’s ear, but even from the distance of the greenhouse door, Ashton could see Luke’s hand tremble.

“Fuck,” Mali cursed as the empty space the arrow had left began to fill with blood and she pressed her hands to the gushing wound. Joy took the platter Mali had dropped the arrow onto and turned to the counter running along the vitreous wall of the greenhouse. The two Hood women worked in perfect synchronicity and Ashton felt sorry that they had been so mercilessly robbed of their long-awaited reunion.

“What are you doing?” Luke asked, his tone way sharper than he probably had intended, frantic.

“It’s not closing up,” Mali answered with gritted teeth, levering her whole weight onto Michael. “It’s not closing up fast enough. It should, but it doesn’t. I have to cauterise the hepatic veins. He’s- fuck, he’s losing way too much blood.”

“Can we give him a transfusion?” Calum’s suggestion came out strained. The alpha boy was visibly struggling to keep his voice calm. Ashton could see the muscles of his neck twitch as Calum leant over Michael’s body from opposite of Mali.

Mali shook her head, “I have a couple of B positives in the fridge but it’s human blood, obviously, and I don’t know if it would help him or worsen his condition, because the human blood might diminish his healing powers and that’s the very opposite of what we want. I just don’t understand why the wound is not closing up, you said you drove almost twenty minutes, he should be much better by now, he-”

“Poison," that was Joy, turning back from where she had begun to dissect the arrow’s head. The apparati on the counter behind her reminded Ashton of the science equipment Ashton had worked with that one semester in sophomore year that he had taken chemistry. “The reason he’s not healing is that the arrowhead was poisoned. I can’t tell what it is right now, but the hunters must have imbued their weapons with it. Most probably some kind of aconite concentrate.” Joy frowned.

Ashton felt a cold hand seize his heart.

“What does that mean?” asked Luke. When no one answered him, he repeated his question, louder this time, “What does that mean?!”

“Luke,” that was Michael, spluttering out a cough. His hand lifted to the blond boy’s cheek, but powerlessly dropped back down halfway there. The purple-haired boy’s face was distorted into a smile, but Ashton could see right through the act. Michael was scared. He had understood. “’s fine, Lukey.”

Luke looked almost appalled at Michael’s words. “What are you talking about? It’s not fine! No, we have to- there has to be something we can do! Mali! What else can we do?”

Mali lowered her gaze, “I’m sorry. We don’t have an antidote and we can’t make one without knowing what kind of poison it was. That could kill him instantly. I’m- I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

Luke stared at her, his mouth slightly ajar. Then he looked down at Michael. Luke’s lips pressed shut. And then a shudder went through his body.

“No!” Luke exclaimed, “No! I am not accepting that! Screw you! You wanna give up just like that?”

“Luke!” Calum reprimanded the blond boy, sharply, but Luke had already bolted out of the greenhouse.

He stormed straight past Ashton, slamming the glass door shut behind him. Uttering a row of expletives, Calum followed after. Luke was rapidly moving away from the house and into the direction of the woods, but Ashton knew Calum would catch up to him.

Inhaling deeply, Ashton fought against the urge to press his forehead against the cold glass of the door. Maybe it would shock his brain to an idea. Maybe it would throw him back in time, just far enough so he didn’t have to endure this.

“Ashton,” came a low, raspy whisper and Ashton jolted. His moment was over. He had to pull himself back together now. Hastily, Ashton spun around and hurried to the cot. Trying to stop the trembling of his hands, Ashton gripped the hand Michael had reached out.

“Hey, buddy,” he said in lack of a better idea when he leaned over Michael’s face, so the other boy could hear him better.

Michael smiled at him. His teeth were covered in fluid, blood and saliva mixing into a rusty colour. “Ashton… Ashton.”

Ashton blinked against the burning sensation in his eyes, “I’m here.”

Michael’s smile widened, but there was frustration in his eyes. He tried to say something, “You… Ashton, you have to…”

“Yes, everything.”

“Cal… Calum, he… you. He needs... Promise… me. Cal’s… not gonna… forgive… you need to… tell him it’s not,” Michael took several seconds to heave another breath into his lungs, his back arching of the metal table as he tried to do so, “not his fault… Ashton!”

Michael looked at him with urgency in his eyes and Ashton nodded, squeezed the hand Michael was holding, used the other to wipe his nose with the back of his hand. “I promise.”

“And… Luke…” Michael’s voice broke off, and Ashton knew that wasn’t entirely due to the other boy running out of breath.

“I know,” Ashton hurried to console Michael. “I know. We’re all going to be there for him. We’ll try our best. We’ll help him get over it, we- we all will.”

“Ashton… you… too.” Michael looked at him with sad eyes, and Ashton lost it because Michael knew him so well. Michael knew him so well that he was aware of the fact Ashton would carry on to mend everyone’s broken heart but his own.

“Yes,” Ashton smiled through the mist clouding his eyes. He pulled up his nose. “Yes, buddy. I promise. Me too.”

Visibly consoled, Michael’s body relaxed and he let his eyes flutter shut, his grip on Ashton’s hand remaining tight as he focussed on breathing. Ashton let his gaze wander down to where Mali was busy stuffing the arrow wound with gauze, a layer of ointment and even more gauze. There were black lines, running up Michael’s abdomen and down to the waistline of his trousers, visualising the spreading of the poison.

Calum brought Luke back in a couple of minutes later. Ashton wasn’t sure which of them looked more terrible. They had cried, the both of them. Calum’s red-rimmed eyes met Ashton’s and Ashton looked away before the sight made him crumble again. Truthfully, Ashton wanted nothing more than to run over to Calum and be consoled by his mate, his alpha. But Ashton knew that if he allowed himself to break now, he would never be able to piece himself together. And he would take Calum right down with him. And Michael had been right. Calum would blame himself. Ashton could see it already, in the deadly calm way Calum moved and spoke. Ashton had to keep himself together to keep Calum together, too.

Luke’s steps were hesitant as he approached the cot, visibly ashamed of his earlier outburst. Mali and Joy did nothing but smile at him with forgiveness in their eyes when he eventually met their gaze. They didn’t blame him. None of them did.

“Luke…” Michael pressed out when the blond boy positioned himself back at the head end of the cot, visibly relieved to have Luke back by his side.

Ashton could see the blond boy’s eyes watering as Luke pressed his forehead against Michael’s.

“It’s … alright… Lukey,” Michael pressed out, his eyes closed.

They breathed together. Ashton watched a single tear slip out of Michael’s closed eye, the same time as Luke began to sob. Hot tears ran silently down Ashton’s cheeks as he looked down, couldn’t bear the sight of his friends’ faces anymore. The static in his ears picked back up, his heartbeat going along with it. Ashton stared at his hands, balled into fists, and wished they would stop shaking, wished the overwhelming taste of salt on his tongue would finally fade.

It was a prickling sensation at the back of his neck that alerted Ashton. Suddenly, he picked up a new scent, another heartbeat. Someone was advancing towards the house. Alarmed, Ashton looked up to meet Calum’s eyes, already looking at him. Something flashed in Calum’s eyes and Ashton knew Calum had noticed the new presence too. Calum jumped and was at the door within a heartbeat. Ashton hurried after him, allowing himself to follow his first instinct.

“Who do you think it is?” Ashton asked, as they strode around the barn, in the direction of the clearing behind the house.

“Oh,” Calum said through gritted teeth, “I know who it is.”

Right before they rounded the corner, all emotion vanished from Calum’s face. Ashton hurried to match his expression, but all effort was lost as he caught sight of the black-clad man waiting for them in the middle of the clearing. His blond hair was shimmering in the moonlight, blue eyes lifting to pierce Ashton before they moved on to Calum. Ashton could hear himself growl. It ceased when Calum put a hand on his chest.

“You are not welcome here,” Calum said in greeting, calmly, but Ashton could feel the waves of suppressed rage coming from him. “I will not allow your presence in my territory, and frankly I don’t have time to talk to you right now.”

“I did not come to talk to you, Alpha,” the corner of Jack Hemmings’s mouth twitched as he inclined his head. It was a tiny gesture serving the due respect, but his expression remained hard. “I came to talk to my brother.”

*

Luke couldn’t help the tremor to his hands. He could feel his brother’s eyes on him. There was that expression in Jack’s eyes, the same kind he had had when Luke had been younger. It was worry and Luke wanted to snort.

He widened his stance where he was standing in front of his brother, met his gaze. Luke was still a head smaller than Jack, but he wasn’t below him anymore. If anything, Luke was more powerful. He could have mauled his brother right then and there, if he had liked, if Luke had liked to deliver the hunters a body to bury of their own. Luke was a hybrid. A monster knowledgeable of the techniques the hunters used to strike. He would have been able to foresee them all.

Luke abandoned the train of thought before it could take over his mind, completely. He could feel the madness creeping in. Luke was slowly driven crazy by the pain coursing through his body and there was only a small portion left of him that kept him from falling victim to it completely. But Michael wasn’t dead yet. Luke couldn’t let go of everything yet.

Instead, he schooled his expression into something more humane. That didn’t mean he bothered to mask any of his contempt or rage, though. Luke Hemmings had died three years ago, and the remnants of him had ceased to exist the same moment the arrow had entered Michael’s body. Luke felt nothing for the man in front of him.

“You’re too early,” Luke spoke up when Jack’s heavy gaze on him became too much. He kept his voice calm, channelled the echo Calum had sent him before he and Ashton had left him to talk to the hunter in private. “He’s not dead yet. Come back in the morning, then you can report back to the headhuntress that Ben was successful.”

Jack’s eyes widened before his lips pressed into a hard line, “I am not here on our mother’s order.”

“Really?” Luke bared his teeth in the parody of an amused smile. “Good! Then you can go straight back to hell. And take _your_ mother and the rest of the clan with you while you’re at it, yeah?”

Jack frowned at him, but Luke could see that his words had hurt the hunter and Luke grinned, feral and for real this time.

“Don’t talk about her like that.”

“Oh, I’ll talk about her how I fucking want. Because I can, because-”

“Stop, Luke.”

“Because I want to!” Luke bellowed back, the monster inside him grinning and yipping as he watched Jack flinch, infinitesimally. “Because she’s dead to me! Just like the rest of you. Just like you and dad and Ben. You are all dead to me! You are-”

“Stop, Luke!” Jack bellowed right back, and Luke could see the muscles at his neck tense. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t even know what it’s been like at home! You weren’t there!” Jack’s voice dropped down to a whisper, almost frantically. “You aren’t there anymore!”

“You ousted me!” Luke roared. "The code says the bite is a death sentence! I am dead to you! That’s the deal, isn’t it?” Luke heaved in a breath, his shoulders shaking with unexpressed rage.

“We are still your family,” Jack said, such certainty, such foolish certainty in his voice that Luke laughed. It sounded mad, even to his own ears.

It took him nearly a full minute until Luke had calmed down enough to speak again, lowly, “I don’t have a family, Jack. Family means caring about each other. The only family I ever had is dying inside that house,” Luke jutted out his index finger at the direction of the greenhouse, “because you shot him. You said you were still my family? Ben knew what would happen if he fired his crossbow and he did it anyways. He shot my mate, knowing it would kill him. And don’t tell me he did it to protect _her_. We both know Ben’s a better shot than that.”

Jack exhaled through his mouth. Luke could see the man’s fists clench. “Ben is confused.”

“Confused?!” Luke barked out a laugh. “Murder isn’t being confused.”

“It’s not murder if it’s a beast,” Jack muttered, under his breath, but Luke heard him. And for the first time, Luke felt hurt by Jack’s words. Luke had lied to himself. There were parts of him left, something that still believed the words Jack said to him, how they were still a family. The discovery that Jack had lied to him stung.

Luke had moved before he could tell his muscles to do so. Swiftly, he took a step forward, let his hand come down on Jack’s left side to create a distraction and undid the holster around Jack’s upper thigh with the other. Luke closed his fingers around the handle of the gun and pulled it out of the holster. He could see Jack’s eyes widen as soon as the blond man realised what Luke had done, but Luke didn’t give him any time to recover.

Forcefully, Luke grabbed Jack’s right hand and pressed the gun into it, enclosed it with his own hands so Jack couldn’t let go.

“Luke, what the hell! Let go, now!”

Ignoring Jack’s protests, Luke pointed the muzzle at his own forehead. Jack struggled against him, but Luke was stronger. He was a werewolf.

“What?” Luke asked, calmly, mocking, once Jack had given up, seething.

“What’s wrong, Jack? You said it’s not murder if it’s a beast. See, I am a beast,” Luke let his eyes lit up, ”so it’s not murder. Pull the trigger, Jack.”

“Stop it, Luke!” Jack was angry at him, but Luke just laughed. He savoured the fear in Jack’s eyes.

“Do it, Jack! Shoot me!” Luke grinned as he tightened his grip on Jack’s hand. “I am already dead, _brother_. Might as well finish what our family has started. Kill me! Kill the beast! Kill the wolf! Save innocent people! Kill _me_!”

“Luke!” Jack screamed at him and Luke couldn’t remember the last time that Jack had done that, truly screamed at Luke, with all his might and every ounce of power he was able to muster. It scared Luke. It almost felt like an atonement.

Suddenly deflated, Luke let his hands drop to his side. The moment Luke had let him go, Jack pointed the gun away from him, hastily pushed it back into the holster. Luke cast his eyes down. He didn’t want the other man to see him cry.

“Once upon a time,” Jack spoke up, eventually, after what felt like an eternity, “we were on the same team. And I don’t know whether you can remember that. Whether you remember anything from the time before he took you away from us. But I do, Luke. I remember everything. This is for my little brother.”

Luke didn’t move as he felt Jack’s hand in his hair and cold, cold as ice glass against his hip, disappearing into the pocket of his trousers. His brother’s lips pressed against his forehead, and like that, he was gone. Luke was alone by the time he managed to look up again.

Rubbing the tears out of his eyes, Luke slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out the present his brother had given him. It was a phial, not bigger than Luke’s pinkie. Inside, Luke could see a milky, almost white liquid shimmer. Luke heard his own breath hitch. Then he ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your feedback makes my day every time, thank you so much for your amazing comments and all the kudos! 
> 
> [tumblr](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/mikeykink) are both mikeykink :) 
> 
> [infomercial voice] also check out the amazing **[8tracks playlist](http://8tracks.com/capncatherine/you-are-the-moon)** containing all the moon fic songs to further your pain, provided by the lovely [Cat](cliffordevil.tumblr.com/) if you like!
> 
> xx, Carly


	32. goner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song for this chapter is _We Never Change_ by Coldplay. All the love, Carly xx

_goner_

_noun, no descriptive plural_

_1\. one whose case is hopeless_

_2\. someone who cannot be saved_

 

Ashton sat with his back against the vitreous wall next to the door. He couldn’t remember at what point his knees had given in under him and he had slid down the cold glass, but it didn’t matter. Ashton was keeping a respectable distance from the cot where Calum was crouching down next to Michael’s head, the two of them exchanging words meant for no one but them. Ashton closed his eyes and focussed on the drops of dew that had formed on the glass and were running down his nape, into the collar of his shirt.

“Mali!”

It was Luke’s shouting that made Ashton’s eyes flutter back open. He pushed himself up into a standing position. A second later, Luke burst into the room. He made a beeline for Calum’s sister, who had been busy concocting another ointment for Michael’s wound.

“Here!” Luke pushed something into her hands. Ashton couldn’t see what it was, but he could see the mad determination in Luke’s eyes. Something inside Ashton’s stomach twisted as he watched Mali’s curious expression turn into one of wonder. Then she turned around and began to rip open the drawers lining the space beneath the counter.

“Luke,” Michael coughed from his spot on the cot and Luke was at his side not a second later. Calum moved to let him take his space.

“Fight, Michael, just a little bit longer,” Luke begged and wiped his eyes before he intertwined his hands back with Michael’s. Ashton wished that his ears would go deaf and his eyes would go blind and his nose would go anosmic. The urge to cover his face with his hands was overwhelming, but Ashton couldn’t look away, couldn’t cover his ears because this was his friend dying and he would have despised himself would he have missed only one of Michael’s last heartbeats. The black lines had spread over Michael’s chest like vines, the farthest of them almost reaching up to his heart.

“Lukey,” Michael’s voice was shaking. His eyes had run dry, pain slurring his speech and Ashton could tell Michael was losing. Michael’s next words were quiet, so quiet that Ashton almost didn’t hear them. It was a confession that Michael had spared until the very last moment,“I’m scared.”

“Don’t be scared,” Luke hiccuped. “It’s going to be fine.”

“I don’t... want to die.”

“You won’t,” Luke stroked Michael’s colourful fringe away from his forehead and shook his head, “I promise you won’t.”

Ashton’s attention got diverted when Mali called his name, “Ashton, I need your nose! Come help me out for a second!” He was almost thankful for it.

Ashton hurried over, “What can I do?”

Mali held up what Ashton identified as a phial. It looked precious, the cork on it sealed with what looked like actual molten gold. Ashton didn’t miss the image of a lion’s head burned into the top of the cork. Inside was a shimmery, white fluid. It looked like liquified moonshine.

“We need to inject Mikey this,” Mali explained to him. “Can you find me a syringe while I try to get this open without spilling anything?”

Ashton nodded, frantically, and immediately went to work. It made his nerve ends prickle, the feeling of finally being able to do something. He could finally help Michael.

Ashton focussed on his sense of smell and took a deep breath, trying to pick up the combination of plastic, steel and sterile wrapping. As soon as Ashton was sure he had found what he was looking for, he hurried to the drawer and pulled it open. A short period of rummaging and Ashton had found several plastic bags filled with injection shots. Short-handedly Ashton ripped the next best open and returned to Mali’s side with a handful of syringes in hand.

“You’re brilliant,” Mali exclaimed before snatching a syringe out of Ashton’s hands. She had worked the cork open with a scalpel and poured the phial’s fluid into a Petri dish. Ashton watched her dip the needle’s tip into the liquid with shaking hands before she pulled the syringe’s slider up and filled the plastic tube to the brim. A sense of triumph made Ashton smile. It had worked.

Luke looked up upon Mali positioning herself on Michael’s other side and they exchanged a quick look. Mali raised the syringe and Luke nodded, leaned back down to Michael. Michael’s eyes were closed, his breaths coming more shallow than ever.

“It’s going to be okay,” Luke whispered, soothing words against the spiritless whimper Michael uttered when Luke pried his hands out of Michael’s grip. “It’s all going to be fine now, Mike. I have your heart and you have my hand.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could hear Calum quiver where he was watching the scene. Ashton took a step around the table and slung his arms around Calum from behind. The other boy all but collapsed into his touch, his grip vice like were he pulled Ashton’s arms around him tighter. Calum buried his face in the crook of Ashton’s neck, averted his gaze as soon as Mali raised the syringe, because Calum had been strong and now there was simply no strength left. Because despite the fact that he was an alpha, in this very moment, Ashton realised, Calum was nothing more than a sixteen year-old boy watching his best friend’s last shot at life. Calum was not able to stand the sight. He was just a kid. They were all just kids. Ashton inhaled and kept a strong grip around the boy in his arms as Mali rammed the syringe right into Michael’s heart.

*

Ashley was sitting Indian style on the centre Chesterfield in the living room. With a grey wool blanket wrapped around her shoulders, she was clutching a steaming mug of what Ashton smelled to be camomile tea.

Tom, Mali’s fiancé, was sitting next to her, rubbing her blanket-covered back while he talked to her in a low, soothing tone, “It’s gonna be okay, girl. It’s just a werewolf crisis. Happens all the time. You’ll get used to it after some time.”

Ashton would have loved to hug the older man for the even, almost calm way Ashley’s shoulders were moving up and down by now. Only her hands were shaking still, her eyes reddened, but there were no more tears in them. Ashley had been a wreck when Ashton had dropped her off in the living room on his way to wake Mali. But Ashton had known that whatever damages the images of the factory had done to her would have been nothing compared to the trauma Ashley would have suffered from if Ashton had let her stay in the greenhouse.

Ashley perked up as soon as she spotted Ashton in the doorway, “Ashton! There you are! How is Michael? Is he okay?”

Ashton took the few steps into the room and let himself fall onto the sofa to her right. An obscene groan fell from his lips. Every single one of his bones were aching and Ashton wondered whether he would ever feel like he hadn’t aged into an old man again in his life.

“Yes,” he said and rubbed a hand over his face, “Michael’s a bit battered, but healing.” Ashton took a deep breath. A part of him was still in awe, unbelieving that he could utter his next words. “He’ll live.”

“Oh thank goodness,” Ashley breathed out and hugged her tea to her chest. “But what happened? What about the guy who tried to turn him into werewolf en brochette?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton said. He wasn’t being completely honest. Ashton had the distinct feeling that Luke knew about Ben, especially after Ashton and Calum had left him to have a conversation with his brother. But Ashton wouldn’t press the blond boy on the matter. Michael lived and that was the only thing that mattered. Everything else was in Calum’s hands now, if guided by Luke. “Michael survived, so we’ll see.”

“The wolves tend to find their way,” Tom reassured Ashley and got up. The other man seemed to sense that he was not needed anymore. Ashton shot him a grateful look, that Tom replied to with an easy smile and a wink. He took Ashley’s half-empty mug with him and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Ashton asked once they were alone.

Ashley nodded, a tired smile making its way onto her face.“Yeah, I just…” Ashley pushed one hand out of her blanket burrito and waved a hand at herself. “I just need to fix this. I can’t come home looking like this, especially after I kinda abandoned my own party.” Ashley smiled nonchalantly and Ashton reciprocated, wholeheartedly. It felt indescribably good, having to deal with the sorrows of a teenage girl after what he - what they together - had just lived through.

“C’mon, I’ll show you the bathroom.”

After Ashton had led Ashley to the main bathroom upstairs, he waited in his room. Over time, a good portion of his belongings had ended up in the room Calum had given him. Most of it were clothes, then books and the occasional knick knack. Ashton let his fingers glide over the loose papers on his desk, an unfinished essay for his English class, before he sat down on the table top. Ashton occupied himself by playing with the handheld he had stolen from Michael’s extensive collection until a knock on the door that made him look up.

“Do you mind?”

Instead of an answer, Ashton threw the handheld onto his bed and opened his arms. A small smile appeared on Calum’s face as he shuffled over and let himself fall into Ashton’s arms. Put at ease by the feeling of Calum’s body pressed against his, the other boy’s arms slung tightly around his neck, Ashton let his eyes flutter close before he buried his face in the crook of Calum’s neck. He could smell the exhaustion on Calum, even more so than Ashton had been able to tell from the look in Calum’s eyes as he had taken the few steps towards him. Now that they had saved Michael and the adrenaline was fading, Ashton felt deadbeat. And he knew Calum wasn’t off much better.

“I want to sleep for a hundred years,” Ashton murmured and Calum hummed. “How’s Michael?”

“We carried him to his room,” Ashton could feel Calum’s lips move against his shoulder, “Idiot insisted on walking himself, but Luke looked like he was about to commit murder, so he let us, eventually. Mali said that the antidote has diminished the poison and with his healing powers kicking back in he should be fine in a couple of hours. Luke’s still with him, just in case.”

“Just in case,” Ashton grinned.

“Obviously,” Calum added, the smile prominent in his voice, and continued in a whisper. “I can’t believe we did it. I was… I was really convinced we were gonna lose him, I-”

Calum’s body shuddered in Ashton’s grip and Ashton remembered Michael’s farewell words. He hugged Calum tighter, so tight that he felt like he might crush the other boy, but Calum reciprocated the hug just as tightly and that alone was enough to make Ashton feel happy about the lack of oxygen his lungs received.

“None of this was your fault, Calum,” Ashton said seriously as soon as he pulled away, just enough to look the other boy into the eye. “None of what happened tonight was your fault. You did everything right. And we saved him. So don’t you dare beat yourself up over something you had no control over.”

Calum’s jaw clenched, almost defiantly, but then his body deflated and he nodded, let his head drop back onto Ashton’s shoulder, “I love you.”

“I love you,” Ashton echoed.

They hugged again, for so long that Ashton almost hoped he would never have to let go. Eventually, he could hear Ashley emerge from the bathroom, though, her voice calling out for him.

“I have to drive Ashley home.” Ashton sighed and let go of Calum.

The other boy sighed wistfully and took a step back, not before he had pressed his lips to Ashton’s, however. “Will you come back after?”

Ashton felt his heart clench at the prospect of disappointing the hopeful expression in Calum’s eyes. It was against every fibre in Ashton’s body to leave his pack now, but he had promised Harry. “I can’t. I promised my little brother, I’d be there when he wakes up.”

As Ashton had expected, Calum’s face fell, but he quickly masked it, nodded with a solemn expression on his face, “That is fine.”

“I’ll be back by noon at the latest,” Ashton promised. “Also,” Ashton smiled, “I think you have some catching up to do with your mother.”

In an instant, Calum’s face lit up. “Yeah,” he smiled, widely, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I love you,” Ashton said as he made a his way to the door, uncaring that that was cheesy.

“Hurry to come back to me,” Calum gave back, his voice so earnest that Ashton felt his heart skip a beat. It wasn’t cheesy when Calum said such things. It just robbed all the air out of Ashton’s lungs.

“Will do.”

*

Ashley looked around as soon as she had climbed into the passenger seat of the Jeep.

Then she whistled, “Damn. That’s some fancy ass car your…uh...”

“Pack mates,” Ashton helped her out.

“... pack mates got going on,” Ashley remarked and Ashton smiled because he had said the exact same thing to Michael the first time the purple-haired boy had picked him up for school.

“Yeah. They have a couple of other vehicles in the barn over there. Uhm,” Ashton hesitated, “I can show you some time, if you want?”

The question hung heavy in the air after Ashton had ended, his uncertainty almost swallowing the last word. It was about more than just the cars. What Ashton was really asking was whether Ashley wanted to continue being in his life in the first place. Whether she wanted a part of all of this. Whether they were still going to be friends. Ashley looked at him for several seconds, expression unreadable. She had understood what Ashton was truly asking.

Then her eyes softened, “They better have a Lambo or something cool like that in there.”

And Ashton wanted to cry because he needed this, he needed his best friend to love him still, regardless of the catastrophic way he had revealed himself to her. Ashton laughed and Ashley grinned, easy. They had always been easy.

“I love you a lot, do you know that?” Ashton said, needing to release some of the overflowing love in his body.

“Of course you do,” Ashley huffed, but Ashton could see the moved expression in her eyes. “I love you too, dipshit.”

Pleased, Ashton started the car. He had just steered the Jeep off the premises and onto the sandy road, when Ashley spoke up again. Her tone was still light, but serious, and even a little bit cautious. “Now I think I deserve to know how the hell you ended up in this mess.”

Though his best friend hadn’t formulated it as a question, Ashton could hear the question mark at the end of the sentence. Smiling, he answered, “Yeah, I think you are right.”

“Good,” Ashley leaned forward and cranked up the heating before she let herself fall back into her seat, “tell me the whole story.”

So, Ashton did. He told his best friend everything, and for the first time since the night he had been bitten, Ashton felt relieved of this certain weight that keeping his new life a secret had put on him. Ashley let him talk, only interrupted him when Ashton told her about his relationship with Calum.

“Wait, are you trying to tell me you banged the hot one and didn’t tell me?!”

Ashton turned red, but he couldn’t help the alert tone to his voice when he asked, “You dubbed Calum the hot one?”

Ashley grinned at him, way too smugly for Ashton’s liking, before she rolled her eyes at him, “Well, obviously. You are like my brother, Michael is an idiot and Luke is a sophomore which makes him a baby. Also, Calum has nice arms.”

“He’s mine.”

The words had left Ashton’s mouth before he had been able to keep them in. Shocked by himself, Ashton pressed his mouth shut and wished for a hole to appear at the bottom of the car that he could vanish into. Ashley cooed and Ashton knew she would never let him live this one down.

“Don’t worry. He’s all yours. I’m not into the whole fur thing," Ashley feigned disinterest as she looked at her nails. “Apart from that, I really like Lido, so.” She shrugged.

Ashton felt his smile falter, “I’m really sorry about your party.”

“It’s fine,” Ashley condoned him, quickly. With a devious grin, she added, “You can organise my anniversary party as a redemption attempt.”

“Everything,” Ashton promised and he meant it. After tonight, Ashley deserved everything.

They spent the rest of the drive in amicable, and very tired silence. Ashley gave him a very long, incredibly soothing hug as soon as Ashton had steered the car up to her curb.

“I’ll see you Monday,” she said and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Don’t get too caught up in your wolf things until then.”

“I won’t,” Ashton answered with a smile. “Sleep well.”

Ashley winked at him and climbed out of the car. Ashton watched her make her way through the heaps of empty red solo cups and other party remnants littering the front yard. As soon as she had disappeared into the house, Ashton pressed the ignition button and steered the car back onto the streets.

*

Dawn was breaking by the time Ashton had made it home and his eyes burnt every time he blinked. A short glance at the clock above the fridge told him that it was almost eight in the morning. His mother was gone, already off to another shift at the hospital, as the yellow post it on the kitchen counter told Ashton, along with a request to take care of the dishwasher. Deciding that he was definitely too tired for any and all chores right now, Ashton simply plucked the post it off the table top and shoved it into his jeans. He would take care of it once he was a functioning part-time human again.

Once he had made it upstairs, Ashton made a beeline for Harry’s room first. As carefully as possible, he pushed the door to his little brother’s room open and peered inside. Ashton’s heart stopped when he found Harry’s bed empty. Panicking, Ashton focussed on his sense of smell and deflated when he picked up his brother’s scent, mere metres away from him. Shaking his head, but unable to keep the smile off of his face, Ashton closed Harry’s door and made a beeline for his own instead.

His room was dimly lit by the first rays of sunshine, Harry’s small form curled up beneath the covers of Ashton’s bed. It was rare that Harry climbed into Ashton’s bed, only ever when he had a nightmare or _really_ missed Ashton these days. Ashton couldn’t help but feel his heart swell a little bit at the sight. Ashton had sacrificed a lot in order to take proper care of his siblings, and the knowledge that they loved him back was all he needed in return.

Careful not to make any noise, Ashton stepped out of the hunter trousers he was still wearing and changed into his most comfortable sweatpants and one of the long-sleeved shirts Calum had given him. Then he climbed into bed next to his brother, sprawled himself out on the little space the seven-year old had left him.

It was the smell that hit Ashton first, citrus and sandalwood, faint but still intense, as if someone had lit incense in the room. Ashton felt his muscles contract almost violently, the bigger part of his body freezing. Slowly, almost in slow-motion as it seemed to Ashton, he raised his head and examined his brother more closely. His eyes were caught by the Batman emblem stitched into the shoulder part of Harry’s pyjamas, drenched in uncharacteristic red. There were four thin, but long marks on Harry’s shoulder, the fabric of the pyjamas torn open where they ran, revealing the gashes beneath. A perfect, miniature version of the scars on Ashton’s own shoulder.

_You left an empty seat at the table, Ashton, an empty seat is never a nice sight._

Ashton breathed hard against the bile rising in his throat. His hands shook as he pulled his brother’s body against him. The seven year-old's hands twitched and Harry snuffled in his sleep, snuggled up against Ashton. Harry’s body fit completely against his chest. It way too small to fill the empty seat Ashton had left.

Keeping Harry secure against him with one arm, Ashton reached onto his bedside table and picked up his phone. As soon as he had managed to press down on the right contact, Ashton let his phone fall onto the pillow next to him. Ashton didn’t speak when the voice on the other end said his name. He couldn’t. Maybe never again. All Ashton was able to do was wait, Harry’s asleep figure against him, not yet aware of the crime that had been committed. Ashton breathed.


	33. lullabye

_lullabye_

_noun, plural lullabies_

_1\. a soothing song with which to lull a child to sleep_

 

Ashton didn’t let go of his brother when they came. He could feel their presences dripping into his reach, hear their steps on the stairs. Two pairs of feet, searching, searching until they had located him. Ashton felt the gust of wind when the door to his room was pushed open and then there were words. Ashton was sure that one of them was talking to him, but Ashton heard nothing but static in his head.

Gentle hands tried to pry Harry’s asleep figure from his arms, but Ashton didn’t let them. He carried his brother, out of the room and down the stairs and to the car. Ashton made sure to keep Harry safe and soundly asleep while they drove. Someone was talking to him again, but Ashton blocked it out. Instead he watched the sun rise from his spot on the backseat. The feeling of Harry’s breath hitting his neck in deep, even intervals was the only thing he allowed.

“Ashton, listen to me.”

Ashton turned his head, and realised that the car had stopped and his door had been opened. Ashton didn’t want to return to reality yet, not when it was where he felt things and had to deal with the gaping, all-consuming abyss splitting his chest in half, cracking further with every beat of his heart and every heartbeat of Harry’s that Ashton could hear. But Calum had talked to him in his alpha voice and disobedience wasn’t an option. A part of Ashton hated Calum for that. The bigger part wanted the alpha boy to wrap him up in a hug so tight it would keep all the crumbling pieces of Ashton’s self in place.

“Can you nod for me?”

Ashton did.

“Do you want to let me carry Harry?”

Ashton immediately recoiled and pressed his brother’s body closer to his chest.

Calum raised his hands, “That’s fine. You can carry him.”

Ashton averted his gaze. He couldn’t deal with the emotion in Calum’s eyes, banned from his voice, but so, so vivid in the amber irides. Because it was pity, and Ashton couldn’t have that. Pity meant that Ashton had lost.

“Okay,” Ashton croaked out, and got off the backseat, careful not to jumble Harry too much. He followed Calum to the greenhouse, the strong smell of herbs surrounding it almost making Ashton retch. Calum pushed the door open for him and Luke, who Ashton only just now recognised as the second pair of feet, held it while Ashton squeezed himself through.

The greenhouse was meticulous, that was the first thing Ashton noticed. Mali was there, in another pair of pyjamas, but with the same look of concern and determination in her eyes.  Instinctively, Ashton’s eyes settled on the metal table in the centre of the room. All the blood from Michael’s impalement on the cot was gone. It was the same cot Ashton had watched another member of his family nearly die on tonight. Ashton prayed, to whatever deity would listen to him, to the moon herself, that his luck would last for two lives.

“Lay him down here,” Mali ordered him, “gently.”

Ashton did as he was told. Carefully, he took a step back once he had lain Harry down, letting go of his brother’s head last to make sure it didn’t bang against the hard metal. Ashton stared at the gashes in Harry’s shoulder, the torn fabric of his favourite superhero shirt, now illuminated grotesquely by the bright neon lights above. Ashton felt his fists clench.

Mali gathered his attention back when she held up a syringe, filled with a clear liquid. “I’m going to sedate your brother, so he won’t wake up while I take care of the wounds, is that okay?”

Ashton nodded and Mali leaned down. Harry’s body stilled considerably once she was done and for the first time, Ashton dared to run his hands through his brother’s hair.

“What does it mean?” he asked, not because he didn’t know the answer, but because he prayed that he was wrong.

“Considering the damage to his clothes, and the depth of the gashes,” Mali took a deep breath. “I am sorry. He has been infected. Whoever...”

“Aleko,” Ashton gritted out through his teeth. “It was him. I could smell him on Harry, still.” Ashton tried hard to fight against the revolting of his stomach. “He must have done it before the attack at the old munition factory. When they had him circled, he…” Ashton remembered the way Aleko had laughed at him, gleefully despite the fact that he had been sentenced to death. Because Aleko had known. It had already been too late, then. “It was him.”

Ashton felt the blood rush in his ears. There was a tingling sensation, spreading from his fists into the rest of his body. Ashton could feel his body temperature rise by the second. He splayed his hands out on the table top and breathed deeply. A moment later, he could feel Calum’s hand rest on his back. It was a silent gesture of consolation. It didn’t help.

“What can we do?” Ashton pressed out.

Mali pressed her lips together as she looked down. “I…”

“Mali,” Ashton threatened, begged.

“It’s in his blood,” Mali said and there was so much sorry in her eyes and voice. She couldn’t be sorry. Ashton couldn’t receive pity. “He’s been bitten and the poison is already in his body. There is nothing we can do. I mean, we could try giving him a blood transfusion, but…”

“Take mine!” Ashton interrupted her. “I’ve got 0 negative, I’m a universal donor!”

“... we would have needed to do that literally the moment he was bitten and if it’s right what you said that was hours ago. I’m sorry. We can just wait and hope he shifts and thereby survives the bite.”

“We can’t do that!” Ashton knew he was yelling, but he didn’t care. They didn’t seem to hear him. “There has to be something else we can do!”

“Ashton!” Luke tried to lay a hand on his arm, but Ashton shook him off.

“Shut up, Luke! Let me do this!” frantically Ashton pushed up the sleeve of his right arm. “Do it, Mali!”

“Ashton!” Calum roared, the authority prominent in his voice.

Ashton spun around to glare at him, “What?!”

They all looked at him with pity in their eyes and Ashton hated it. He wanted to punch every single one of them in the face, if only it would’ve helped to cool his blood down from boiling, cooking him on the inside.

“What?” Ashton repeated, demandingly.

It was Mali who answered him, her tone calm, but her eyes, too, were sympathetic. “You’re a werewolf, Ashton. Even if I would give your brother the transfusion, it would have the opposite effect of what you want.”

Where Ashton had been ablaze, he turned into ashes, turned into stone. Every of his movements ceased, his heart pounding in an unyielding grip. It wasn’t news to him. Ashton had known that.  Truthfully, Ashton had known it the moment he had smelled Aleko’s scent of citrus and sandalwood in his house.

“No,” Ashton whispered, tonelessly. His eyes were stinging. “Please.” Ashton’s throat tightened. “Please, there has to be something we can do. He’s only seven years old, he- he can’t become a werewolf, he doesn’t- please.”

Ashton was pulled under by an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. And he could feel it, all the sympathy hitting his chest in echoes. He focussed on Calum’s arms, wrapping around his middle from behind, supporting him. Ashton didn’t know how long he remained like this, just focussing on heaving air into his lungs and back out while he let Calum carry his weight. Meanwhile, Mali cut his brother’s shirt open with a pair of surgical scissors and began to clean Harry’s wounds.

As soon as he had calmed down enough to speak, Ashton rubbed the tears out of his eyes and he looked up, “I’m sorry.” He looked at Luke while saying it, but it was clear that he was addressing the whole room.

Luke smiled, eyes filled to the brim with mercy, “No problem.”

Ashton nodded and turned back to Mali, “How- uhm how long does the anaesthesia last?”

Mali swayed her hand, “I can’t fully tell when he began to turn so I can’t say when his body began picking up temperature, but it shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours. I didn’t give him much because his body is so small and-” Mali frowned before she took a deep breath and her face turned somber. “He’ll either die from the bite or turn, and if we keep him still and unconscious that maximises his chances of surviving, so.”  

There were no more words that would leave his throat, so Ashton nodded, showed that he had understood.

“You survived it, Ashton,” Luke chimed up, always so eager to console the people around him, “I am sure your brother is just as strong as you.”

Ashton smiled at him. As soon as he felt like he could stay on his own feet, Ashton shook Calum’s hands off of him and leant over the cot. He continued to run his hands through Harry’s hair while Mali began to throw away the remnants of the gauze she had used and Luke left, probably to update Michael. Calum rolled one of the two stools over to him and Ashton thanked him quietly as he sat down.

Through the vitreous back wall of the greenhouse, the first rays of sunlight broke and Ashton wished it was still night and he could look to the moon for guidance. But there was no moon and he had no guidance. So all Ashton had left was waiting, waiting and praying that his brother would make it through the day.

*

"It will be fine."

Calum looked up from where he had watched Ashton's passed out figure, the head of the curly-haired boy bedded on his arm, the hand of his other arm resting on his brother's stomach. Ashton’s breath was coming in shallow puffs, the exhaustion evident on his face, even in his sleep. Calum longed to touch his mate, but Ashton had just fallen asleep and Calum feared he would wake up should Calum only so much as breathe at him.

Calum couldn't remember the last time he had slept. His body was too tense for him to relax, so he remained on his feet, watched over Harry and Ashton while they lay unconscious. It was the least he could do. Calum met Mali's eyes and found a certainty in them that Calum himself was severely lacking.

"I am sure that he will survive the bite," Mali emphasised. "So far, Harry has shown no signs of rejection and Ashton turned, so he shouldn't have any predisposed genes opposing the bite either. I am hopeful it will be fine."

Calum was thankful for the fact that he could be sure his sister would have never lied in order to console him when it came to pack matters. Mali was the smartest person Calum knew, apart from their mother, maybe, and she was hopeful. Calum clung to that hope, tried desperately to draw strength from it.

"It's just..." Calum exhaled.

Mali nodded, a sad smile spreading over her lips as her gaze settled on Harry, "He's a child."

"He's a child," Calum confirmed.

They spent several seconds in silence, Calum just watching the even rise and fall of Ashton's hand on his brother's abdomen.

"I am scared he will hate me," the confession came out quietly. "I am almost certain he does already and... I can't even blame him, can I? I dragged him into this world, it was my decision to bite him when I found him. And I provoked Aleko by claiming him, selfishly, because I wanted him for myself." Calum let out a mirthless laugh. "And now his little brother may die because of me and if he doesn't he'll have to live the rest of his life as a monster. How could he ever forgive me for that? And isn't that also selfish? That I only care about the fact that the love of my life may spent the rest of it resenting me, instead of worrying about the life I destroyed, the fucking fourth one." Calum clenched his fist. He only realised Mali had laid a hand on his shoulder when she squeezed it. Calum was surprised to find anger in his sister's eyes when he met them, "I want you to listen to me, Cali, and listen closely."

Calum swallowed.

"That night in the woods, when you found him, do you know what you did?" Mali didn't let him interrupt. "I'll tell you. You saved Ashton's life. You saved him, Calum. You know how Aleko treats- treated his betas. What you did wasn't selfish, it was an act of grace and _bravery._ You're only sixteen years old, Calum, you are not supposed to know everything yet, and with regards to the things that you do know, you are doing a stellar job. And later, you claimed Ashton and you stood up to Aleko again, because Mom has taught you what is right and we have never feared the people that were after us, have we?"

"Not then and not now," Calum replied, automatically reciting what his mother had told him when he had been a child and scared, still scared of the people that put their want over his life.

"Exactly," Mali said, "and this," she pointed at Harry, "this is no one's fault but Aleko's. He bit a child. Aleko is an abomination. It was not your fault when he attacked Ashton and it is not your fault now. It's the very opposite, actually. You're the one who saved them. You're human, among being a wolf. Aleko was just a wolf acting only upon instinct and hunger, that just so happened to have to shift back into a human form sometimes. It's your human side that determines your greatness, Calum, and there is so much greatness in you."

Calum felt overwhelmed by the certainty in Mali's voice, the passion with which she spoke. Calum had known his sister believed in him, like Michael and Luke did, but she had never told him, not like this. He swallowed, the words in his throat forming a lump and Mali smiled at him, because she could tell what he was unable to say.

"Ashton won't hate you," Mali added, more gently. "That boy has been head over heels for you ever since you brought him here for the first time.”

“It’s his brother,” Calum breathed out, “whether he loves me or not will not make this any less unforgivable.”

“But it’s not you that has to be forgiven, Calum,” Mali said. “And yes, Harry is going to become the fourth beta that will join your pack involuntarily, but that is not a weakness, Calum, that's a strength. You saved them. You gave Michael the air in his lungs and Luke a new life without the pressure of excelling at professions no child should have to learn. You saved Ashton from being the footmat of a psychopath and you will save Harry from being a seven year-old werewolf with a dead alpha and a decimated pack. The bite is a gift that demands sacrifices and no one should receive it without having asked for it. But joining your pack, being a wolf under the moon that you command, that's not a sacrifice, Calum. That's a blessing.”

“Thank you,” Calum said, eventually, in lack of better words, words that could express how much he had needed to hear what his sister had just told him.

“Always, baby bro,” Mali smiled at him before she pressed a kiss to his temple, something she hadn’t done in years. “It’s going to be fine.”

For the first time, Calum believed her.

“Calum!”

It was Ashton’s voice that called out for him, loudly but then quickly silenced.

Calum instantly looked over to where Ashton was awake now, stood upright next to the cot. Ashton’s eyes, shimmering in the beautiful hazel tone that took Calum’s breath away, even now, were fixed on the body of his little brother, stirring on the metal table. Harry was awake.

*

For a few, long seconds, Harry’s eyes swayed aimlessly around the room, an expression of confusion spreading over his small features, before his head lolled to the side. The seven year-old visibly perked up when he spotted his big brother, hands flying to make grabby hands for Ashton’s shirt, eyes wide, “Ashy!”

With a jolt, Harry struggled to sit up, words tumbling over each other in the haste to leave Harry’s mouth, “Ashy, there was a man that came! And he told me you sent him and he said I had to be very quiet, but it hurt, Ashy, he scratched my shoulder and it hurt. My shoulder hurts.” Harry frowned as he ran out of air and pointed to his shoulder, conveying all his discomfort with his eyes.

“I know buddy, I know.” Ashton cleared his throat, blinked hastily as to ban the tears out of his eyes. “Do you know what happened to you?”

Harry shook his head.

“Well,” Ashton said, gave his tone an aura of importance. Ashton had thought about how he was going to tell Harry. He forced himself to smile, “Remember when Peter Parker got bitten by the spider?”

“Of course,” Harry huffed, with all the scandalisation a seven year old could muster.

Ashton laughed, ignoring the fact that it sounded decisively more like a sob, “You got bitten, too, Harry.”

Harry’s mouth dropped into an o-shape. His eyes flitted to his shoulder before he looked back at his brother, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Ashton nodded, “and that’s gonna hurt a bit, remember when Peter felt sick for a bit?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah, but that was because of the spider bite. The spider bite made him a superhero.”

“You’re a superhero now too, buddy,” Ashton struggled to keep his voice even, but he did. He had to. Ashton had to pretend everything was fine, because if he did, then Harry would believe him.

“I am?”

“Yes,” Ashton smiled wider. “You’re gonna be a wolf, isn’t that cool?”

“A wolf?” Harry’s face dropped into confusion.

“A werewolf,” Ashton affirmed, “you know what a werewolf is, right?”

“Of course, I’m not dumb,” Harry rolled his eyes before he frowned. “Ashy, I’m not sure I want to be a werewolf. My shoulder hurts.”

Ashton felt his heart seize, but he ignored it and kept going, “Hey, but you know what’s really cool about this?”

Harry tilted his head to the side, “What?”

“I’m a werewolf, too. See,” Ashton pulled down the collar of his shirt, revealed the fine, almost invisible scars on his shoulder. “We can be wolves together.”

“We can be superheroes together?” Harry asked, suddenly excited.

“Yeah,” Ashton rubbed a hand over his nose. “We’re gonna have tons of fun. We’re gonna be superheroes.”

“Ohh,” Harry gaped at him before he lit up, “is Lauren one too?”

Ashton felt his heart drop. Hastily, he shook his head, “No- no, no buddy. She’s not. In fact uhm… you remember that Peter could never tell Aunt May that he was a superhero, right? He had to keep his powers from her?”

“We can’t tell Lauren?” Harry frowned. “What about Mommy?”

Ashton shook his head.

Harry looked at his lap before a long sigh left his lips and he shrugged, surprising Ashton, “That’s okay, I guess. As long as I have you.”

Harry smiled at him and this time, Ashton did sob. Before Harry could notice, Ashton pulled him into a hug. Harry wrapped his slender arms around his neck, reflexively. And Ashton knew there were so many more things he had to tell Harry, so many things his little brother had to be prepared for. But right now, Ashton felt nothing but relief, because Harry was awake and full of beans and there was time for that.

“That’s right, buddy,” Ashton pressed out. He could feel Harry pat his hair. “You’ve got me.”

*

Calum barely made it into bed. After he had accompanied Ashton and Harry to Ashton’s room, making sure they had enough blankets to squeeze themselves onto the twin size mattress of Ashton’s bed for the morning, Calum had shortly listened in to Michael and Luke, thankfully sleeping, before he had said goodnight to Mali. His sister had ditched her room in favour of disappearing into their mother’s room and Calum didn’t blame her. He, too, planned to have a long, long overdue talk with his mother, celebrate their reunion properly. First, however, Calum needed sleep. Now that Harry was awake and Ashton seemingly fine, Calum could feel the tension leave his body. It left him boneless, the exhaustion of everything that had happened during the night overwhelming him at once. With the knowledge that his family, all of his family, was under his roof, as safe and sound as they could be, Calum passed out the very moment his head hit the pillow.

It was a hand in his hair that dragged Calum back into consciousness. For a short moment, Calum was tempted to swat the hand away, fall back into the swirling shapes of his dream, but then his sense of smell registered the familiar scent wafting into his nose and Calum all but jolted awake. Ashton was crouched in front of his bed, so he was on eye-level with Calum.

“Hey,” Ashton whispered, his eyes so void of any loathing that it made Calum’s eyes widen in wonder.

“Hey,” he rasped back, voice raw from sleeping. “Is Harry okay?”

“Yeah,” Ashton grinned. “He’s out cold.”

“Good,” Calum sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Do you mind?” Ashton asked, smiling, and immediately Calum hurried to roll over so he could make some space for Ashton. Ashton didn’t hesitate to fill it. Uttering a faux bibbering sound, Ashton slid under the blanket, tangled his limbs with Calum’s in a way that made Calum’s heartbeat pick up pace. Ashton bedded his head on Calum’s chest, and Calum, after a moment of hesitation, buried his face in the mop of curls on top of Ashton’s head.

They lay in silence for a long time. Calum utilised it to memorise Ashton’s body against his, the tingling sensation where Ashton’s mouth was pressed open against his skin.

“I wanted to thank you,” Ashton said, eventually, not louder than a whisper.

Calum didn’t manage to mask his surprise, “Thank me?”

Ashton chuckled, and lifted his head, so his chin was pressing into Calum’s sternum, “For being there. You were really good, tonight. Thank you.”

Calum blinked. He cleared his throat, “Of course.”

Ashton smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Calum’s. Calum kissed him back, savoured the prickling sensation Ashton’s lips left on his, the fluttering in his stomach.

“I love you," Ashton mumbled as he pulled away and kissed his cheek, nibbled on his jaw for only a moment before he bedded his head back on Calum’s chest. His voice was already heavy from impending sleep when Ashton added, “You are the moon that breaks the night.”

“I love you, too,” Calum whispered into the cool air of his room. He could feel his cheeks hurting from smiling so wide. At ease, completely at ease for the first time in months, Calum tightened his grip around Ashton’s waist. He breathed in deeply, breathed in the smell of Ashton's scent, so imbued with his own, the familiar smell of home. Effortlessly, Calum reached out and let his pack sense wash over the presences in the house, all of them safe, for now. Exhaling, Calum let himself fall back asleep.


	34. king

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Boys touching other boys at the beginning of this chapter. If that doesn't tickle your fancy, you have the possibity to jump to the first asterisk. 
> 
> All the love, Carly xx

_king_

_noun, plural kings_

_1\. a male sovereign_

_2\. a ruler or chief_

 

Ashton had been awake for nearly an hour when Calum finally began to wake up. Not that Ashton was about to complain. He had used the time sensibly and stared at the other boy while Calum had lain next to him. There was just so much to see that Ashton somehow had never noticed. How his curls fell into Calum's forehead now that the mohawk had grown out mostly and how his nose twitched in his sleep, how the right half of his top lip was just a tiny bit fuller than the left one and that there were two moles on Calum’s right cheek, almost invisible on his smooth, brown skin.  Ashton found great joy in drawing patterns on Calum’s skin, lightly enough to not disrupt the other boy in his sleep.

But eventually, Calum stirred, his muscles twitching. The hand that was resting loosely on Ashton’s hip groped around almost seekingly for a moment. Then Calum tightened his grip and rolled onto his side so he was facing Ashton, who had watched him with his head resting on his hand, his elbow propped up on their pillow.

Calum pried his eyes open slowly, jolting lightly when he noticed Ashton’s gaze on him.

“Whasswrong?” he asked, voice raspy from sleeping, a small, timid smile appearing on his face. Ashton took a deep breath. He had thought a lot about the words he was about to utter.

“I am glad it was you,” Ashton whispered, “that night in the forest. I’m glad you found me. I’m glad I got bitten. I wish Harry would have been spared, I would do anything to not have him have to go through this. I mourn for him, but I do not mourn for myself. I received a gift a lot of people would kill for, and I do not regret any sacrifices I had to make.”

Calum’s eyes were full of wonder when Ashton looked up and Calum smiled at him, a small, intimate expression that resonated deep within Ashton’s chest. He knew, in this very moment, that what they had went through had forged them, instead of breaking them. Now they were iron. Now they were invincible.

Calum answered  with an amalgamation of emotion in his eyes, “I am very happy you think about the bite that way now.”

Ashton shook his head, smiling. “I wasn’t talking about the bite,” he said, inaudibly so, and pressed his lips against Calum’s.

It was so easy, always so easy for Ashton, to get lost in Calum, in the way his lips moved against his, his tongue slid over his bottom lip, gently asking for entrance. Calum’s hands tangled in his hair, coaxing a low moan out of Ashton and he rolled onto his back, Calum following him and straddling his hips. Ashton could feel something poking him in the hip and a slight burst of laughter made him break the kiss with Calum.

“Is this inappropriate?” Calum asked and Ashton wanted to giggle upon the serious concern in his voice. It made Ashton love the other boy just so much more.

“I think,” Ashton mused, “we survived a catastrophe yesterday. I think there’s rarely a better time than now. Besides, I really didn’t get to appreciate my _mate_ yet, so,” Ashton grinned and leaned upwards, capturing Calum’s lips with his.

Ashton could feel an echo of pure, unaltered want unfolding in his chest and he slung his arms around the small of Calum’s back, pushed their bodies together.

They moaned at the same time, Ashton’s hard-on lining up with Calum’s. Calum began rolling his hips, his lips moving from Ashton’s mouth down to his neck and it was brilliant, their bodies moving together like this, but it wasn’t enough. Ashton needed more. He needed everything.

“Calum,” Ashton panted and Calum came back up to slot their mouths together. Blindly, Calum fumbled for the top drawer of his bedside table. While Calum was busy retrieving lube, Ashton struggled to pull his boxers down. His skin was hot, the spots where Calum was touching him prickling. As soon as Calum had found the hand-sized bottle, he let it drop next to Ashton’s hip, making Ashton shiver as the cool bottle bumped against his skin.

Calum went on to work his way down his body in open-mouthed kisses and Ashton writhed. He couldn’t help the rutting of his hips until Calum gripped his lovehandles, keeping Ashton’s hips still. Calum kissed down his happy trail, before he moved down Ashton's side, purposely foregoing Ashton’s cock, laying hard against his stomach. Upon Ashton’s mewled protest, Calum shot him a sly smile and began nibbling on the inside of Ashton’s thigh.

“Fuck, Calum, stop teasing me, please,” Ashton pleaded. Calum merely lifted his head and grinned up at him, his pupils full-blown, looking at him hungrily. Ashton’s hips bucked on their own accord. Calum growled, and let go of Ashton’s hips in order to splay his hand out of Ashton’s stomach, pressing him further down into the mattress while he used the pad of his free hand’s thumb to press against Ashton’s perineum. Ashton spluttered, having his breath taken away when in the next moment, Calum had mercy on him and wrapped his lips around the head of Ashton’s cock.

Ashton moaned, jolts of pleasure running on up and down his spine as Calum began to bop his head, his fist covering the part of Ashton’s length he couldn’t reach. Ashton missed the click of the bottle cap being opened. His eyes fluttered shut when he felt Calum’s slick fingers wriggling themselves between his arse and the mattress. Calum’s index finger ran over his hole, catching on the rim from time to time and Ashton gasped. This paired with Calum’s mouth on his cock made Ashton’s eyes roll into the back of his head, a row of expletives rolling of his tongue without Ashton having any control over it.

Soon enough, Calum had wriggled one, two, three fingers in and Ashton was outright moaning, Calum’s fingers working him open while simultaneously working his mouth on Ashton’s cock was simply too much, too good. Ashton tried to muffle the sounds with his hand. Though he knew that they were separated by a story from everyone else in the house, Ashton was still well aware of the fact that three out of the five people possessed supernatural hearing. So he kept his hand on his mouth until Calum pulled off of him and moved up the bed until he was hovering above Ashton on eye-level, prying Ashton’s  hand off of his mouth while keeping a steady rhythm going on Ashton’s length with his hand.

“Forget it,” Calum said, the fucked-out tone to his voice causing Ashton’s breath to hitch, “I’ve had to suffer through Michael and Luke boning each other in this house for ages now. It’s their time to suffer.”

“That’s so fucking hot that you just said that,” Ashton groaned. “You don’t even know.”

The sly smile on Calum’s face told Ashton that the other boy did know. Calum kissed him, jerking his fist on Ashton’s cock and burying the three middle fingers of his other back inside Ashton. Ashton placed his hands on Calum’s shoulder blades, burying his nails in the skin. It was all clashing teeth and swiping tongues, the way Calum kissed him and Ashton was breathless when Calum broke for air.

“I’m ready,” Ashton pressed out. Heat was rapidly pooling in his stomach and if Calum was going to keep up the pace he was going at right now, Ashton would come before he had even laid a hand on Calum’s cock. Calum pulled his fingers out of him, leaving Ashton clenching on air and his eyes searched Ashton’s for a moment.

Ashton nodded upon the silent question and Calum smiled, pecking him on the lips short and sweet before he wrapped a hand around his own cock, pumping up and down a couple of times to slick himself up with the residue lube on his hands. Ashton lifted a hand and cupped Calum’s cheek, running his thumb over the other boy’s cheek bone, simply because he was in awe of Calum. Calum held his gaze as he lined himself up and, balancing himself by bracing one hand next to Ashton’s head, pushed in.

Ashton forgot how to breathe for a good couple of seconds as he felt the head of Calum’s cock stretch him open just that much further, brush against his prostate. He was only pulled back when Calum called out his name.

“This okay?” Calum asked and Ashton nodded, frantically, urging the other boy to move on. Slotting their mouths back together, Calum bottomed out. A low moan ripped from Ashton’s throat and once he was sure he could do so without coming right then and there, Ashton hitched his legs around Calum’s waist. Calum groaned as the angle changed and he was able to slide in just that much deeper.

“F-fuck, Ashton.”

“Move, you can move,” Ashton panted. “Please.”

Mouth moving to Ashton’s neck, lightly biting down right below Ashton’s throat, Calum pulled out slowly, before pushing back in in one, fluid motion. Calum build up pace slowly, Ashton uttering words of wonder and encouragement as soon as he had adjusted and the initial burn of the stretch faded into unaltered pleasure.

Calum answered by peppering kisses onto his jaw, mouth and cheeks. Low grunts fell from his lips as he thrusted his hips and Ashton’s name, repeated over and over, like a prayer, like a hymn. Like this, they were mere pagans, worshipping no one but each other. Ashton could feel the want coursing through Calum’s veins, the hunger for Ashton’s body, and that alone set fireworks off in the back of his head. His abdomen clenched.

“C-Calum,” Ashton uttered and Calum looked up at him, the same desperation in his eyes. His irides were pitch black. Ashton buried a hand in the longer curls at Calum’s nape and pulled the other boy down. Calum let himself fall, his chest pressing against Ashton’s as he encompassed Ashton’s hips with his hands. Calum kept them still while he pounded into Ashton at a pace that left Ashton dizzy. They breathed into each other’s mouths, both of them too far gone for words. Only the sound of skin slapping against skin drowned out their panting and then, just as he pulled away from Ashton’s lips, Calum stilled. It was the echo of Calum’s orgasm, intense pleasure washing over Ashton and pulling him under, that had Ashton following him over the edge.

The sensation of experiencing Calum’s high along with his own was almost too much for Ashton. He didn’t know how long he just lay there, jolts of pleasure making every inch of his body tingle, the doubled aftershocks leaving him boneless. He winced when Calum pulled out of him, just so found the energy to pull the other boy back on top of him.

“We need to shower,” Calum murmured, his chest still heaving. He mouthed along Ashton’s collarbone.

“Just a minute,” Ashton whispered at the ceiling, a lazy smile parting his lips. “Just a minute longer.”

*

Calum took his hand as they walked down the stairs, freshly showered and dressed in some of Calum’s clothes. As Ashton had lost his clothes at the factory, Calum had to open his wardrobe for him. Not that Ashton hadn’t noticed the pleased glint in Calum’s eyes when Ashton had pulled the other boy’s shirt over his head.

Ashton walked into the living room to find his little brother on the sofa, more precisely perched on Michael’s lap. The two boys were giggling and shouting at the video game they were playing on the TV. Michael grinned as he spotted Ashton and waved, continuing to play one-handed.

The purple-haired boy looked ages better than the last time Ashton had seen him. His skin had regained the weak but unmistakably there hue of colour that it possessed and Michael’s eyes were twinkling again, full of mischief and the boldness Ashton had learned to love. Ashton suppressed the urge to run over and hug the other boy, only because he feared he would crush his little brother between them if he did so.

“Ashy!” Harry called out once he noticed Ashton standing in the doorway.

Ashton felt his heart sink again at the sight of his brother. Despite the fact that Harry seemed as energetic as ever, Ashton could tell how feverish he looked. Harry’s eyes were reddened, his voice a little more raspy than usual, and Ashton could smell the higher temperature on him. Ashton knew that that was normal, that that was part of the transformation, that he himself had looked worse when he had turned, but he couldn’t help but worry.

Ashton realised he had emitted his sorrows when multiple echoes of consolation reached him a second later. The strongest was Calum’s. Ashton turned back to smile at the other boy who smiled back, as calmly as ever, and squeezed his hand where their fingers were intertwined.

 _It’ll be alright,_ Calum mouthed and Ashton decided to believe him. He didn’t allow himself to be hopeful, but he drew strength from Calum’s hope. Ashton pulled Calum further into the living room before letting go of him in order to crouch down in front of his brother. Harry grinned as soon as Ashton was smaller than him, putting his small hands on top of Ashton’s head and tugging on his curls.

“Hey, buddy,” Ashton smiled, letting Harry have his fun with his fun.

“Ashy,” Harry said, excitedly, “Michael let me be his second player! He has Mario Kart!”

“That’s really nice of Michael,” Ashton mused. Michael, resting his chin on top of Harry’s head while their game was paused, winked at him.

“And we compared scars earlier,” Harry continued, “didn’t we, Michael?”

“We did,” Michael confirmed.

“His is bigger than mine, but he said that it will heal just as good as his. He also said that it hurt when he got his and that he felt icky and it hurt really bad again after some time but that afterwards it didn’t hurt at all. And that it will be the same for me.”

Ashton swallowed, “That’s uhm- that’s true, buddy.”

“I already feel icky, Ashy,” Harry frowned slightly, before he was beaming again. “Oh, but did you know that Michael is a superhero as well?”

“Yeah, buddy,” Ashton said, plastering the biggest smile onto his face he could muster. “Michael is a member of our superhero team.”

Harry’s eyes went wide and he wriggled around to look at Michael, who looked at him just as scandalised. “Really?”

Michael grinned, “Yeah, really. We’re like the Avengers, just as wolves.”

“We are?!”

“Hell yeah!”

What followed was a tirade of superhero names and excited jumping up and down that at one point, Ashton simply lost track of. Calmed by the knowledge that, at least for now, Harry was fine, Ashton pulled himself back to his feet and left Michael to answer all of Harry’s questions about who of them was Black Widow and whether wolves could fly.

Ashton smiled at Calum when the other boy retook his hand, pressed a quick kiss to the knuckles before he lead Ashton into the kitchen. Shortly before they stepped over the threshold, however, Calum pulled their joint hands behind his back.

“Good morning,” Joy greeted them from where she was sitting on a stool next to the kitchen island, a coffee and today’s paper in front of her. Luke, busy pouring milk into a bowl of Fruit Loops, waved at them.

“Hey, mom,” Calum said, sounding very shy all of a sudden and Ashton just as suddenly became hyper-aware of the very big, very prominent hickey on his throat. “This is Ashton.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Ashton could see Luke struggle very hard not to burst into a fit of giggles.

“Ashton,” Joy said, and immediately Ashton shifted his attention back to her. “It is very nice to meet you, officially.”

“You too, ma’am....” Ashton stuttered when he could hear Luke snort. “... lady, I mean Joy.”

“Joy is fine,” the woman told him, a hint of amusement in her eyes. It was amicable, though. Before any awkward silence could built up, Joy continued, “I take it you are the boy that my son found in the woods and made a new member of this pack.”

Joy smiled at Calum and Ashton accredited her a lot that Calum’s mother pretended she hadn’t reeked Ashton’s true connection to Calum within the first second of them meeting.

“Yeah, uhm mom, he’s… actually, well…”

“Ashton is Calum’s mate,” Luke chimed up from where he was holding the finished bowl of cereal and beamed at them. “If you ask me, Joy, they are also very cute. Almost as cute as Michael and I.”

“No one could ever be as cute as we are!” Michael yelled from the living room and Luke grinned in a _what can you do?_ manner before he quickly made a beeline for the door.

Where he had turned crimson, Calum slowly let their joint hands fall from behind his back and swing freely between them. Eyes glued to the floor, Calum said something in Maori, too fast for Ashton to decipher any of the words he had said. His grip on Ashton’s hand tightened.

As soon as Calum had ended, a small, adoring smile appeared on Joy’s face, “Of course not, tama.”

Calum visibly relaxed and then he beamed at her before he pulled Ashton against him. Upon Ashton’s inquiring gaze, Calum simply pecked him on the lips and Ashton smiled. He went red when he noticed Joy watching them.

Then she cleared her throat, “I have some things to sort out in the study. It turns out there’s quite a lot of paperwork that accumulates if you are gone for several months. Excuse me. And welcome, Ashton.”

“Are you okay?” Ashton couldn’t help but ask once he was sure Joy was out of at least human earshot.

“I’m fine,” Calum smiled at him. “I’m really fine. You can go into the living room and join the others if you want. I’ll bring you breakfast.”

Ashton reciprocated the smile before he let go of Calum’s hand and turned back around, “Pancakes, please!”

“Everything, for you.”

*

Calum was busy sprinkling a sugar and cinnamon mix that he knew Ashton preferred over maple syrup on the plate of pancakes he had made when he felt a second presence enter the kitchen.

“Don’t even think about it,” Calum said as he saw a pale-skinned hand sneak up on the plate.

“Hey,” Michael complained, resting the hand on his stomach instead, right where the arrow had pierced him, “I was gravely injured.”

“And you fully healed,” Calum looked up and smiled at his best friend. “Besides, I know those Fruit Loops Luke made weren’t for Harry, so.”

Michael sighed, “Guilty.”

“Thank you,” Calum said. “For taking care of Harry while we were-

“- busy?” Michael interrupted him, the smug grin on his face causing Calum feel his cheeks heat up.

“Yeah,” he said, lamely, “that.”

“It’s okay, man,” Michael shrugged. “No problem, really. I’ve always wanted a little brother. Not that I didn't have you, of course. But you were like a hundred and eight years old in fourth grade already so,” Michael shrugged, and bumped their shoulders together. After a beat of silence, he added more seriously, “What are we gonna do now? With Harry, I mean?”

“For now,” Calum sighed, “we have to keep him in the house. At least until he shifts for the first time. Otherwise he could hurt himself, or others. Then I have to claim him and then…”

“... then he’s a seven year-old werewolf.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s not your fault, Calum.”

Calum smiled at Michael. The other boy knew him so well. “Yeah, I… I try to believe that.”

“We’re gonna make it through this. We always have and we always will. I’m the living proof,” Michael gestured at his stomach where a thick, rosy patch of new skin was marking the space he had lost a good portion of his flesh. “Besides,” Michael added with an easy grin, “kid’s got talent. Harry almost beat me on Rainbow Road.”

Involuntarily, Calum laughed. “Alright. You win. I feel better. You can now go back to your games.”

“I love you, bro,” Michael sighed and disappeared back into the living room, not without having stolen one of the pancakes of Calum’s plate.

Calum shook his head after him, but let it go. Michael deserved it. Michael deserved all the pancakes in the world.

*

Ashton was in search of Calum. After breakfast, the other boy had left to go take care of something upstairs. Calum had pulled Luke with him and Ashton hadn’t seen either of them since. He had just reached the top of the stairs when he heard Luke’s voice, coming out of Michael’s room and muffled by the wall separating them, “Take your shirt off.”

Ashton furrowed his brows. A short listen to the sounds coming from downstairs assured him that Michael and Harry were still playing video games in the living room and Joy was in the study, quietly humming a melody that sounded familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

Ashton stilled when he heard Calum’s voice answer, muffled from what had to be his shirt as he pulled it over his head, “I’m nervous.”

Luke snorted and Ashton didn’t have to be able to see him to know that the blond boy had just rolled his eyes. Luke let his voice drop low, coaxing. It sounded incredibly weird to Ashton, who had never heard him talk like that before, “You know I’m good at this, Cal. It’s not gonna hurt or anything.”

Ashton’s heart skipped a beat before it hammered twice as fast. A terrible monster latched itself around his intestines, gripped at his heart.

“I know that, but what if-”

“You asked for this. Now come on, have a little faith. I have done this with Michael lots of times before. Sit yourself down on the counter. I’ll be quick.”

Ashton had pushed the door to Michael’s room open before he even could tell his hand to grip the handle. Frantically, he looked around. To Ashton’s surprise, Michael’s room was meticulously clean. The walls were covered in band posters and single comic pages, stacks of gaming paraphernalia taking most of the shelf spaces, but everything was straight and in order. Even Michael’s bed was made.

Upon finding the room empty, Ashton turned towards the closed bathroom door. From behind it, Ashton could hear Calum letting out a string of curse words, Luke uttering an almost manic giggle. Heaving in a breath, Ashton made a beeline for the door, wrapped his hand around the handle and pushed the door open.

Ashton burst into the room with his eyes closed. What he saw when he pried them open was not what he had expected to see.

“Oh, hey Ashton,” Luke greeted him, as chirpy as ever, shooting him a smile in the mirror hanging at the far wall of the room.

Ashton blinked, then managed to smile back at him, if a little bit dejectedly. “Uhm, hi.”

“Ash,” Calum said, happily, from where he was perched on the edge of Michael’s bathroom counter, his naked upper body leaned back so his head was swaying above the basin. .

“Did you come to watch?” Luke asked him, shaking the electric razor in his hand.

“Uh,” Ashton let himself fall back against the door, pushing it close in the process. “Sure.”

Luke beamed at him before he flicked the switch of the razor and it begun to buzz.

“Calum wants an undercut,” Luke explained while he run the razor along Calum’s nape, thick tufts of curls falling into the basin.

“I just thought it would be more practical,” Calum defended, looking at Ashton and it was then that Ashton realised Calum was scared Ashton wouldn’t like it.

“I think an undercut sounds hot,” Ashton mused, savouring the happy glint in Calum’s eyes. “Thought I will miss the curls.”

“The ones on top will stay,” Luke quickly chimed up. “Don’t worry, enough hair to bury your hands in when you-”

“Shave, would you?” Calum interrupted Luke and Luke shut up, visibly pleased with himself nonetheless. Ashton shook his head in amusement and sat himself down on the closed lid of the toilet. Silently, he watched Luke shave off the bigger portion of Calum’s hair while Calum admonished him whenever Luke got a little bit too excited in his opinion.

“Done,” Luke announced, eventually, and took a step back. Calum hopped off the bathroom counter and spun around to admire himself in the mirror, running his hands over his freshly cropped hair.

“You did well,” Calum told Luke his verdict after a couple of seconds.

Luke beamed, swinging the razor around his hand by its cable, “You’re welcome. What do you think, Ashton?”

Both their eyes settled on him as Ashton got up. He kept his face impassive as he walked over and circled Calum, examining the new hair from all angles.

“Mhm,” Ashton contemplated. Then he broke into a grin, “You look great.”

Ashton ignored the retching sound Luke let out when he took another step forward into Calum’s space and Calum kissed him. He could feel Calum’s smile against his lips and Ashton, as if to prove a point, let out an obscene moan as he raked his nails over the cropped hair at the back of Calum’s head.

“Guys,” Luke whined and Ashton giggled as he pulled away.

Before he could answer, they were interrupted by the honking of a car. It was just one single press of the horn and confused, Ashton set some of the confined energy at the bottom of his spine free. What he smelled was faint and familiar, almost forgotten but Ashton recognised the smell.

“Luke,” Calum said, looking at the blond boy, “go and tell the others. We have visitors.”


	35. beatitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in an intercity bus right now, so I really pray that the wifi works and this is actually going up. Now, the reason why this chapter has a prenote is a different one, however, and it's gonna get sappy, so I don't blame you if you want to skip it. 
> 
> With this chapter, officially, the moon fic has broken a hundred thousand words and that is a huge milestone to me. It makes me feel really happy and proud and I wanna thank you all for getting me there, for helping me through your constant support to show myself that I can write stories that long, that I have that in me. So thank you, thank you so much for giving kudos and commenting and the fan art, oh god, the fan art. You are all incredible. 
> 
> All the love, as always, Carly xx

_beatitude_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. supreme blessedness or happiness_

 

“Come with me,” Calum said as soon as Luke had disappeared. He lead Ashton out of Michael’s room and down the stairs. Shortly after they had made it out of the front door and onto the gravel yard in front of the house, Luke and Joy joined them. Michael, as Luke told them, would stay in the house, partially because Luke had threatened to take all his video games away if Michael would so much as lift his ass from the couch, and more importantly because someone had to watch Harry.

“Ashton, to my right,” Calum commanded him and Ashton hurried to oblige. He positioned himself to Calum’s right, while Luke took Calum’s left and Joy stayed behind. The calm, unconcerned expression on Calum’s face told Ashton that it was more a formal line-up than anything else. Collectively their gazes settled on the car that had just come to a standstill in front of them.

Like the first time Ashton had met them, it was the girl he noticed first. Liling had grown since Ashton had last seen her. The six year-old was now almost reaching up to her mother’s hip, the nails of the hand she had intertwined with Shun’s sparkling pink in the sun. Apart from the alpha and her daughter, whom Ashton already knew, there were two more werewolves emerging from the sleek, black Lexus the Lam pack had arrived in. The women were identical, from their asymmetrical bangs down to their matching jade green combat boots. The same black, almond-shaped eyes mustered Ashton up and down before they moved on and landed on Calum, inevitably. Where Shun was oozing the typical superiority of an alpha, and Liling was simply a child, the twins were quietly disconcerting. Ashton thought them to be maybe two years older than him. And he would have been worried, if he wouldn’t have seen the amicable smile on Shun’s face.

“Alpha Hood,” the woman greeted, politely.

Calum inclined his head, “Welcome, Shun.”

Shun smiled upon Calum using her first name and Ashton watched her ease into a much more relaxed posture.

Not unfriendly, Calum said, “We didn’t expect you.”

“Blood has been spilt on my territory,” Shun gave back, much more nonchalantly than Ashton would have thought to be possible, “and I think we should talk about that. Tea?”

Calum smiled. “Sure,” he nodded and took a half step back. Ashton hurried to mirror his action, making the alpha and her pack way.

Shun stopped when she spotted Joy, who, because of her smaller build, had been hidden behind the rest of them. A tirade of fast, nasal vowels spilled over Shun’s lips, accentuated by sharp, clean s-sounds. Ashton felt his eyebrows lift as Joy didn’t miss a beat to reply in the same language. Then, it didn’t surprise him all that much. If Ashton would have to imagine anyone just casually being able to speak Chinese, it was definitely Joy.

Liling was the first one to move. While her mother was still speaking, the little girl began to tug her hand out of her mother’s grip and then, once Joy’s gaze had briefly flickered down to her, Liling skipped the short distance and wrapped herself around Joy’s left leg with a delighted giggle. Her mother was quick to follow. Shaking her head in a manner that was very close to disbelief, Shun bridged the short distance between herself and Joy and hugged the older woman.

Ashton found Calum smiling when he turned to look at the alpha boy.

“When Shun figured out Liling was a born alpha, she sought my mother’s help,” Calum explained, lowly.  “Shun knew my mother had managed to keep me alive and out of trouble until I reached puberty, so Shun asked my mother for some advice. They came over a lot when Liling was toddler and ever since then the Saint’s pack have been our allies.”

“Your mother is a wise woman, Alpha.”

Startled at the unfamiliar voice, Ashton turned around. He was met with one of the twins. Her sister was a few steps away, closing the driver’s door of the Lexus.

“Thanks, Han,” Calum smiled at the twin in front of them.

“You’re welcome,” the girl, Han, grinned. Then her eyes fell on Ashton. “Oh. You’re new.”

Ashton awkwardly held out his hand, “Ashton.”

Smirking, the girl took it, her slender fingers wrapping around his, “I’m Han. Shun didn’t tell us Calum had a new beta. I like you. You’re hot.”

There were several things that happened at the same time. Out of nowhere, Ashton felt a hand grip the back of his shirt. Han’s hand slipped out of his as Ashton was pulled back and while he was still trying to process his newfound spot several steps back, Calum was suddenly in front of him, his stance wide and teeth bared. Calum was uttering a growl that was so menacing Ashton felt his stomach turn. Han, obviously surprised by the sudden threat, hurried to take a large step back, her hands raised, an abject yip coming over her lips.

“Han!” Shun yelled, the same time Joy said, “Calum.”

Upon his mother’s voice, and the calming echo that followed, Ashton could see Calum’s posture relax infinitesimially, but his bared teeth and growling remained.

“Calum,” Ashton repeated and the growling ceased. Calum’s fists unclenched and he turned around. His eyes met Ashton’s for only a second before Calum looked on and his gaze settled on Shun.

Shun turned towards her beta. “Wait in the car,” she ordered Han, her voice scolding. .

“But-” the girl pouted, relaxed now that Calum wasn’t threatening her anymore. Under her alpha’s stern gaze, however, she obeyed and trudged back to the Lexus, disappearing into the back seat.

“I am so sorry.” Shun turned towards Calum, who pried his eyes away from the car in order to look at her. Ashton could see the last of ferocity fade from his eyes as he rightened his back and the calmness returned to his figure.

“It is fine,” Calum announced and blindly took Ashton’s hand. Ashton noticed Han’s sister tracing the movement, realisation flickering in her eyes. “Let’s have some tea.”

And with that, Calum pulled Ashton into the house, the rest of the werewolves following. As soon as the Lam pack had settled in on one of the Chesterfields, Ashton excused himself to the kitchen to prepare the tea, taking Harry with him.

Shun’s eyes had widened when she had seen the seven year-old and realised what the bandage around Harry’s shoulder and the fever in his eyes meant.

“I think, there is a lot that you have to tell me.”

Calum had nodded, “Indeed. Take a seat.”

“Sit down on the stool,” Ashton ordered Harry and began retrieving cups from the cupboards and stacking them on the kitchen counter.

“Ashy, who are all these people?”

Ashton smiled, “Don’t mind them. They are friends of Calum and I.”

“Okay,” Harry lilted, accepting the statement like he did with everything else Ashton told him. “When we’ve made the tea, can I play with the girl?”

Ashton felt his heart skip a beat. He cleared his throat. Liling creeped him out, that was true, but judging by everything that Calum had told him, she was still a normal child. And Ashton could tell Harry was excited to see another child in the new “superhero” world he had created for him.

“Sure, why not.”

The way Harry’s eyes lit up were reason enough for Ashton to be happy he had allowed Harry to get to know the other child. Ashton looked up when he felt another presence enter the kitchen.

“Hello,” the twin whose name Ashton didn’t know greeted him, politely.

“Hello,” Ashton echoed.

Her eyes flickered to Harry for the fraction of a second before she looked back at Ashton.

“Actually, Harry,” Ashton said, keeping his eyes locked with the girl’s, “you can go play with her right now. Go on.”

Harry let out a jubilant noise and jumped off the stool he had been perched on. Ashton wasn’t worried sending him off on his own. He knew even if Calum’s focus lay on Shun, Michael and Luke would keep a close eye on his little brother.

“I came to apologise,” the twin said once they were alone, “for my sister’s behaviour. I can assure you that she did not mean to offend you or Alpha Hood. Han just-,” she interrupted herself. “May I speak freely?”

Ashton just so managed to swallow down the very dumbfounded _what?_ that had been bubbling up inside his throat. It took him a moment to realise that the Lam beta was being so polite because she was automatically subordinating herself to his status as an alpha’s significant other. It was a strange feeling, not unpleasant - feeling respected and powerful never was - but definitely one Ashton wouldn’t get used to that quickly.

“What’s your name?” he asked, plastering the most non-threatening smile on his face he could muster.

The twin’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but she was quick to answer, “Min.”

“Min,” Ashton repeated, imitating her slightly accentuated pronounciation as best as he could. “Well, first of all, it’s very nice to meet you. I am Ashton.”

“Ashton,” Min smiled, already visibly more at ease.

“And to answer your original question: yes, of course. Speak freely.”

Min sighed, “Han tends to put her foot in her mouth, is what I wanted to say.”

“No brain to mouth filter,” Ashton nodded, setting the kettle that he had filled with water onto the stove. “I figured.”

“Again, I apologise. She would have never ever made an inappropriate remark towards you if she had known that you are…”

“... Calum’s mate,” Ashton finished for her. He was unable to keep the small, happy grin off his face as he said it. It was a pleasant buzz deep in his belly, whenever he thought of Calum and remembered that the alpha boy actually liked him back.

Ashton could see the spark of curiosity in Min’s eyes, but she quickly restrained herself.

“Yes, that...” Min bit her lip, the worry in her eyes having yet to fade.

As soon as Ashton realised what she was really trying to ask, Ashton waved her off, “Calum does not hold a grudge against your sister, don’t worry.”

“I am really happy he didn’t hurt her,” Min confessed, quietly. “Because he would have had the right to, and-” Min interrupted herself, again. “Thank you.”

Ashton could feel his brows raise, “He would have what?”

Before Min could answer, Michael appeared in the door frame next to her, “Hey, Ashton, Cal wants you back in the living room. I’ll take over tea duty from here. Oh, hi, Min, what’s up?”

“Hey, Mikey,” Min waved at him. “How’s algebra coming along?”

Michael let out a long-suffering sigh, “Dude, let me tell you…”

Ashton wedged himself past them, ignoring Michael’s exclamation of “Do you want to see something sick?” and the subsequent dramatic showing of stomach plus scars that followed.

Calum looked up when Ashton approached the couch area. Luke and Joy were sat to his left, the right space probably having been cleared by Michael. Shun had sat herself down on the sofa opposite of Calum. Liling and Harry, much to Ashton’s amazement, were idly playing next to the coffee table with the couple of toys Luke had retrieved from the attic of the house. When Liling caught Ashton studying her, she smiled at him, that slightly feral, slightly creepy smile of hers.

Ashton reciprocated it and sat down next to Calum. He slid his hand in the space between the backrest of the couch and the small of Calum’s back. As his hand was hidden that way, Ashton let his fingers slip beneath the hem of Calum’s shirt. Ashton drew small circles into Calum’s skin. Calum didn’t react audibly, his voice didn’t even falter while he spoke, but he did lean into Ashton’s side. Ashton was pleased, because he could feel Calum relax beneath his fingertips.

“I should have known,” Shun concluded as soon as Calum had ended with his report of the events at the factory hall. Ashton could tell by the quiver in her voice that she was genuinely upset. It was a nice change of things, to have someone on their side for once. “I have to apologise to you, Calum. And especially to you, Joy. You were held on my territory and that should have not escaped my notice.”

“The past can not be changed,” Joy said and Calum nodded, “We do not blame you for the ambush, Shun. And it’s no use to look back. We have to focus on the now and how we deal with the aftermath.”

Simultaneously, they all looked at Harry, who was too busy building a spaceship out of legos to notice the adults in the room mustering him.

“Can I ask you something?” Ashton spoke up. He could feel Calum and the rest of his pack look at him curiously, but Ashton kept his gaze on the alpha in front of him.

“Sure,” Shun motioned him to go on.

“Do you have any idea why Aleko ambushed us in the first place? I mean I get that he is a psychopath, but he didn’t try to attack us. He tried to eradicate us. He took Joy, weeks before Calum claiming me,” Ashton could feel Calum’s hand coming down on his knee, squeezing, “pissed him off, to weaken Calum and I just don’t… I wonder what his motivation was.”

Shun had watched him closely while he had spoken and now that Ashton was done, he felt himself blush under the alpha woman’s intense gaze. Calum and Joy had said that they didn’t care for the past and that meant that Ashton wasn’t to, either, but he needed to know. He needed to know why.

“I think that there is no rational explanation for lunacy,” Shun said, eventually, her tone calm. “Aleko was a strong-bodied wolf but his mind was weak. He held onto old, backward beliefs if you allow me to call them that. Your pack, your alpha,” Calum next to Ashton tensed, “were a thorn in his side ever since Joy bought the land from Aleko’s father. I was just a teenager when that happened, but it was a stain on something Aleko tried to keep pure. I don’t know if you have noticed this, but there are no American werewolves by birth.”

Ashton _had_ noticed that. The Petrovians were Bulgarian, the Lam pack of Chinese descent and even his own pack had Calum’s Maori heritage as their sole reason of existence.

“Aleko, even as a teenager, was very proud of his status as the only alpha in a hundred mile radius. Apart from me, of course, but he knew better than to disrespect my pack,” Shun allowed herself a grim smile. “Bitten werewolves can’t become alphas. That’s something you are born with. We are stronger, and we are the ones born to lead. And Aleko was the only one.”

“Until Calum came along,” Ashton hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but once the words were out, Shun nodded.

“A thorn in his side,” Shun repeated. “The only real threat for him. And then Calum also ruled the land he used to own.” Shun shook her head, “I knew of Aleko’s disdain towards you, Calum, but he kept it under the wraps these past years, since you turned, so I thought he had come to his senses. I was terribly wrong and for that I can only apologise again.”

“You didn’t know of his plans,” Calum amended. “Please, don’t beat yourself up over this. As I said, we have to focus on dealing with the aftermath.”

Again, all eyes flickered over to Harry.

“Aleko had no right to bite the child,” Shun said, her suppressed anger only noticeable in the twitching of her upper lip. She looked at Calum, “Are you going to claim him?”

“As soon as he has shifted. He is Ashton’s brother and therefore a part of my family. No one has a right to him but me.”

Shun nodded, “Good. The Lam pack authorises him, of course.”

“Thank you for that,” Calum rose to his feet and Shun followed. As if she had been summoned, Min walked in from the kitchen and positioned herself behind her alpha.

“Now you only have to get him examined by the hunters and we should be able to move on.”

“That’s the next thing on the list,” Calum extended his hand, that Shun took with a smile. “Thank you for coming.”

“Alphas going after each other is vile, and medieval. We have evolved from that. If Aleko would have realised that, he might still be breathing right now.”

Calum nodded his head, a hint of finality in the gesture and Shun reciprocated it before she picked her daughter up from the floor and walked out, Min hot on her heels.

“Guys!” Michael called into the silence that followed the Lam pack’s exit. “I think I burned the tea!”

*

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin!”

Ashton flinched as he pulled the front door to his house shut behind him. He didn’t make it farther than the living room before his mother had pinned him to the wall with a spatula. The expression in her eyes was furious, of the kind that his mother only ever got when she was seriously worried. Ashton tried to breathe calmly while his mother fumed at him. He had thought long about what he was going to tell her. What he needed to tell her.

“Would you like to tell me where the hell you were? Lauren calls me because you didn’t pick her up from her friend’s? Your phone goes straight to voicemail? And where the hell is Harry? I swear to god, Ashton, you better have a good explanation for this, or I swear I will-”

His mother wanted to go on, but Ashton silenced her by laying a hand on her shoulder, “Mom.”

His mother stilled, narrowing her eyes at him. Ashton took a deep breath. He had thought about this. It was the only thing he could do, now.

“Mom," Ashton said, "there is something that I have to tell you.”


	36. gamma

_ gamma _

_ noun, no plural _

_ 1\. the third letter of the greek alphabet _

_ 2\. the third item in a system or series of classification _

 

Much to Ashton’s unsurprise, he found his bed already occupied when he entered his room. Calum was sprawled out on his duvet, his left arm tugged behind his head while he was holding up one of Ashton’s books with the hand of the other. Upon Ashton’s entrance, Calum closed the book and sat up. Ashton ignored him in favour of making a beeline for his dresser. The front of his shirt was soaked with his mother’s tears and and the salt slowly but surely began to itch his skin. 

“What did she say?” Calum asked, his tone serious, as he watched Ashton pass him. He had sensed Ashton’s mood. 

“She mostly cried,” Ashton pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it in the general direction of his hamper. “I mean that was kinda foreseeable. She just watched her son turn into a monster right in front of her, so...” Ashton was trying to find the bottom hole of his sleeping vest. He had had it a couple of times, but it had slipped out of his shaking fingers every time. “... that was kind of a bummer.”

Ashton stilled as he felt Calum’s hand splay out of his naked back, right where his shoulder blades met. The spot was intimate, somehow. He remembered that when he had been younger, his mother had used to rub his back and say that if Ashton were an angel, where his shoulder blades met would have been the point where his wings would have grown. But Ashton hadn’t turned into an angel. He had turned into a wolf. 

“I am sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I would have had to tell her eventually,” Ashton let his eyes flutter shut as Calum’s hand slid to the side and snaked around to his front. Ashton could feel Calum’s face press into the nape of his neck. 

“I just wish it would have been later and under different circumstances. You should have seen her face when I told her about Harry, she… she’s not going to forgive that. That’s her baby. I tried it the medical way,” Ashton let out a humourless laugh, “played the whole lycanthropy game and that it will be fine with the right ‘therapy’ like any other illness, but that was hardly any consolation, really.” 

Ashton could feel Calum’s breath hit his skin, “She still loves you.”

“Does Luke’s mother love him, still?” 

At that, Calum behind him stilled and Ashton wanted to slap himself. He rubbed the palm of his hand over his face, trying to rub off his own stupidity. “I’m sorry. That was unfair and hateful. My situation is nowhere near as tragic as Luke’s and he certainly didn’t deserve that.” 

Calum moved and closed the last of distance between them. Only when Ashton felt Calum’s arms encompass him completely, he allowed himself to relax. 

“Luke’s situation may be worse, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to mourn what you have lost. You are allowed to feel what you feel, Ashton.” 

Ashton let his head fall back, so that it was resting on Calum’s shoulder, “Mom  _ did _ tell me that she still loves me, regardless, and that we will figure this out. I guess I am lucky in that aspect. She wants to see Harry, though.” 

“She can’t,” Calum shook his head slightly, “not until he has his first shift behind him.” 

“I told her as much. Mom wasn’t a fan of that. I’ll have to figure out what to tell her so she stays put.” 

Calum was silent for a couple of seconds, contemplating, and Ashton used the time to focus on the way Calum’s fingers felt against his bare stomach. It calmed him, to know that Calum was there.

“I’ll call Karen,” Calum said, eventually. “Maybe it will help Anne Marie  if she can talk to another mother.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Ashton let his head loll to the side. Calum’s nose twitched as Ashton’s curls bounced against the side of his face. The gesture made Ashton laugh. Now that they had a kind of plan what to do next, he felt indefinitely better. 

“Thank you,” Ashton whispered as he pressed his lips to the line of Calum’s jaw. 

Calum craned his neck to meet his eyes, “What for?” 

“Just because.” 

Calum smiled, and slotted their mouths together. Ashton curled his arm around Calum’s side to scratch his nails over the short bristles at Calum’s nape. Calum let out a breathless noise and Ashton laughed as he pulled away and turned so he was facing Calum the right way, then he kissed him again. 

“Oh, my mother also said that she wants to meet you.” 

Calum pulled away, “Yeah?”

“Yes, but,” Ashton rubbed Calum’s shoulder comfortingly, “as Calum, the alpha of her sons. Not, Calum...”

“... the boy that is boning her eldest ?” Calum swallowed, and it was so absurd that it made Ashton laugh, seeing Calum genuinely scared of his mother. 

“Is that all I am to you?” Ashton pouted mock-offended. 

“No,” Calum told him, eyes gleaming, before he let go of Ashton and turned towards the door. “I’ll follow you.” 

*

Anne Marie was sitting on the sofa in the living room. There was a prime time moving playing on the TV, but Ashton could see that his mother wasn’t registering any of it. Her eyes were glassy, the hands she was holding the blanket around her shoulders with quivering. 

“Mom,” Ashton said and his mother looked up, so fast Ashton was scared she might break her neck. “My alpha wolf is here.” 

There was a glint in Anne Marie’s eyes at the word “alpha wolf”, but then any emotion vanished behind a mask of pure countenance. Ashton liked to call it her mother bear face. The last time he had seen it had been roughly a year ago, when Ashton had been sent to the principal’s office for pummeling a boy in his sister’s class who had thought it to be acceptable behaviour to touch the chests of his sister and her friends during swimming class. His mother had talked to his principal for twenty minutes, her voice not once wavering, calm and lethal, until the principal had shredded Ashton’s admonition letter himself. 

“Ask him in,” his mother said, eventually and Ashton nodded at Calum, who had waited in the hallway. Anne Marie’s eyes widened when she spotted Calum before a slight frown overtook her face. 

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Calum Hood,” Calum introduced himself. Ashton noticed the respectable distance he kept from Ashton. Of course, they had talked about it. It just felt weird to Ashton, having Calum in his close proximity but not being allowed to touch him. 

“You are…” his mother began while Ashton sat down on the sofa opposite of her, Calum following him after Anne Marie, too, had motioned him to go on. Only when Calum was sitting, as far away from Ashton as the loveseat allowed, did she continue her sentence. “... a child.”

Calum nodded, no sign of offence on his face. His expression was crafted into a perfect mask of calm trustworthiness. “I am sixteen years old.” 

Anne Marie nodded, her voice stern, but not unfriendly as she spoke, “I’m going to be honest, I don’t know how I feel about that. On the one hand I am relieved that you are not some fanatic, old man. On the other, I can’t imagine  _ you  _ being the supposed protector of my children, you’re just so...” 

“Young?” Calum suggested and Ashton’s mother nodded. “I understand that, but I can promise you that I am capable of the task that was thrust upon me.” 

Anne Marie crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“He is, Mom,” Ashton said. His mother’s eyes were filled with doubt as she looked at him, but it vanished once Ashton had held her gaze. 

She shook her head and then deflated, visibly, “I don’t understand it. Even when you…” Anne Marie waved her hand at Ashton. “... when you  _ showed _ me. This all feels so surreal to me. Like I brought you into this world, and suddenly you are… and Harry as well.”

His mother’s eyes became shiny and Ashton could feel himself tear up. Before he could even register it, he was moving. Ashton stood up, rounded the couch table between them and fell to his knees in front of his mother. With his heart pounding against his rib cage, Ashton took his mother’s hands. 

“I know,” he said, his voice wavering, “I know, but I’m fine, Mom. I promise. And Harry will be fine as well.” 

“I promise that,” Calum spoke up. Ashton felt a reassuring echo hit his chest. 

“My baby,” Anne Marie whispered, tears overflowing and running down her cheeks. She disentangled one of her hands from Ashton’s grip and cupped his cheek. Yellow mist clouded Ashton’s vision as he held his mother’s gaze, but he didn’t look away. He needed his mother to see. 

Anne Marie’s breath hitched as she watched her son’s eyes light up golden, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, her grip on his head tightened, and then she was hugging him. Ashton held on, even though the angle was uncomfortable and he couldn’t breathe with his face pressed against his mother’s sternum. Eventually, he had to let go, though, and the mother bear expression returned to his mother’s face as Ashton got up. Anne Marie stood up along with him. 

“I’ll be right back,” she told Calum, who nodded, and then left the living room. 

Breathing steadily, Ashton let himself fall back next to Calum. Calum took his hand, for just the blink of an eye, and squeezed. Ashton sent an echo of gratitude. Anne Marie returned with a slim paper block in her hands and Ashton felt his heart sink. She sat back down, the tear streaks gone from her face. Anne Marie levelled Calum, who leaned forward slightly to indicate that he was listening.

“We don’t have much money, but I’m willing to pay for every number that you give me.” 

Ashton felt Calum’s surprise resonate in his chest, but Calum’s face didn’t show any of it. Instead, he smiled and shook his head, “I don’t think that will be necessary, Mrs Irwin.” 

Anne Marie frowned, “Well, Ashton has told me that Harry has to stay with you for some time until he’s…”

“... shifted,” Ashton helped her out. 

“Right, that,” his mother nodded without lifting her gaze from Calum, “and I have to compensate you for that, obviously.” 

“You don’t,” Calum shook his head and raised his hand, pressed his knuckles against his chest. “My house belongs to the pack, as does our company. Harry is part of my family now, too, so he has as much right to stay in the house as any other member of the pack. We’ll take care of him.”

Anne Marie still didn’t seem convinced, but she let it go as she nodded. 

“Just-” Ashton’s mother took a deep breath. “Just promise me that you take care of them, okay?” There was more to the sentence. Ashton felt his heart sink as he noticed the unspoken  _ Because I didn’t.  _ “Protect them.”

“With my life,” Calum answered, earnestly. “As long as they are a part of my pack, no harm will come to them.” 

Ashton’s mother opened her mouth to reply when Ashton felt it. It was like an intense yearning in his chest, as if someone was pulling on the strings of his heart. Someone from his pack was calling him. He was on his feet even before Calum was. Calum nodded when Ashton looked at him questioningly, then he turned towards Anne Marie, “I’m sorry, we have to go.” 

“Is it Harry?” 

Ashton flinched at the fear in his mother’s eyes, saw it unfold completely as he nodded. Anne Marie got up, “What do you need?”

“It’s going to be fine,” Calum reassured her. 

“Back door,” Ashton pressed and lead the way. 

Ashton’s mother followed them as they hasted out of the living room. While walking, Ashton pulled his shirt over his head. As soon as he had pushed the back porch door open, he stepped out of his jeans and turned around. Calum, who had been barefoot only in the usual basketball shirts and a loose Green Day tank in the first place, dropped his pile of clothes next to Ashton’s jeans and overtook him. A second later, Ashton could hear his mother gasp as she watched the humongous black wolf shaking out his limbs in her backyard. 

“Ashton,” his mother said, her grip white-knuckled on the frame of the door. 

“Don’t worry, Mom,” he smiled, grimly. Then Ashton turned around and jumped down the last of steps. He shifted mid-jump, his paws digging into the lawn he had spent his childhood running around on. Ashton didn’t look back before he took off into the woods. 

*

Ashton felt the echoes, long before he perceived anything with his other senses. As a wolf, the woods where his home, and with Calum leading the way his paws found their way over the rough underground instinctively. It was useful as the second-hand pain occupied every last inch of his mind. Ashton didn’t shut it down. He would have never cut his connection to Harry. Ashton remembered his own first shift, vividly. Calum had been right when he had told him that it was impossible to forget it. 

Ashton and Calum found them on a clearing. Michael and Luke were both in wolf form, jumping from side to side rapidly, keeping the wolf cub between them in check. Harry wasn’t conscious. There was no trace that Ashton found of his little brother behind the pain-induced ferocity in the wolf cub’s eyes, the same hazel colour as his own. Harry’s fur, Ashton noticed, was the same colour as Ashton’s as well. 

Harry was only half the size of Luke, who was the smallest between them, but he was more agile. Michael’s relief reached them all as an echo as he spotted Calum. Ashton joined the others in circling Harry in, while Calum stepped forward, his paws a big as Harry’s head. He caught the wolf cub’s attention with a single bark. An incoherent string of whimpers and miserable yipping was still coming from Harry, but he cowered under Calum’s gaze and bared teeth, his hind legs folding in on themselves. If the situation wouldn’t have been so serious, it would have almost looked comical. 

Calum ceased his snarl the moment Harry had submitted to him, the right set of instincts kicking in with the wolf cub. Ashton watched the two wolves just look at each other for a long moment, then Calum’s eyes lit up golden, and Harry’s illuminated not a second later. The next moment, Harry was back on his feet, disappearing into the row of trees to their left. Ashton was quick to chase after him, dried leaves and branches cracking beneath his paws. 

It didn’t take long after that until Ashton could feel the last of his brother’s energy vanish and the wolf cub began to trot instead of run before he eventually folded himself to the ground. Ashton watched Harry’s body quiver before it began to change. He was thankful that his brother passed out in the midst of it. 

Ashton waited until it was over before he shifted back himself and knelt down beside Harry. Carefully, he picked his brother up and placed Harry’s arms around his neck, resting his brother’s head on his shoulder as he pulled himself back to his feet. Harry’s heartbeat was even against his own and Ashton clung to that as he began to make his way through the underwood. Harry had made it. His brother had turned. He had survived the bite.  Calum was quick to blaze the trail, leading the way to the house, his black fur shimmering in the weak light falling through the canopy above. Michael and Luke followed behind them. 

It was when they had almost reached the clearing behind the house, that Harry stirred in his arms. 

“Ashy,” Harry mumbled against his shoulder, visibly struggling to open his eyes. His words were slurred from the lack of energy left in him. 

“Shh, buddy,” Ashton placed a soothing hand on his brother’s back. The skin was covered in grime and mud, leaving damp traces on Ashton’s palm.  “You’re alright, Harry. Go back to sleep. You did so good, you deserve yourself a long superhero nap.” 

“Okay,” Harry conceded, sluggishly, his body going limp in Ashton’s arms not a second later. 

“It’s alright,” Ashton muttered into his brother’s hair, uncaring of the fact that Harry couldn’t hear him anymore. “I got you. We all got you.” 


	37. chuchoter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some amazing new fanart (thank you seriously, I cry a lot of happy tears about this stuff) that you should definitely check out [here](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/post/145101259676/paper-storm-you-are-the-moon-that-breaks-the) and [here](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/post/145049412016/summerrainsounds-fanart-for-you-are-the-moon) (this one especially if you've always wondered what the boys look like exactly as wolves.) 
> 
> Also [this one](http://wolvesmichael.tumblr.com/post/143963550199/ashton-felt-his-heartbeat-pick-up-speed-he-had-a) which is especially relevant for this chapter, whoops. 
> 
> All the love, Carly xx

_chuchoter_

_verb_

_1\. to whisper_

 

“Woah, look, Ashy, lions!”

Tugging on the collar of Ashton’s shirt, Harry pointed to the brass lions, roaring at them from their spots on the gate posts of the Hemmings mansion, as the Jeep rolled through the gates.

“Lei bount,” Luke explained from his spot on the passenger seat. “The lions roar.”

Luke’s tone was nonchalant, his manner entirely at ease. Ashton kept looking him, even after Luke had turned back to the front. He wasn’t receiving any echoes from Luke, so he couldn’t tell how unbothered the blond boy really was. It had surprised all of them, when Luke had announced that he would accompany Calum, Ashton and Harry to the council meeting. But even if Luke would have echoed his true feelings, Ashton knew that Luke was more than capable of lying to him. So Ashton decided to just keep a close eye on Luke once they had entered the hunters’ headquarters. Ashton could hear the gravel way scrunch beneath the tires as Calum steered the Jeep to a halt in front of the mansion’s entrance doors.

Ashton turned towards his brother, “Okay, Harry, remember what we talked about?”

Harry nodded with all the solemn a seven year-old could muster and said, “The lady is going to look at me. She’s going to scratch me, because she’s like a doctor. I have to be very still, but then we can go home again. And I get ice cream,” Harry added, grinning.

“That’s right,” Ashton nodded, unbuckling his brother’s seat belt for him and hurried to do the same as Harry pushed the car door open and slid off his seat. It left Ashton with a feeling of unease, having Harry that close to the hunters. Rationally, he knew that nothing was going to happen to him, but Ashton still made sure to have Harry walk in front of him, with his hands on Harry’s shoulders.

Calum had barely retracted his hand from the door knocker when one of the double entrance doors swung open. Like the first time Ashton had come here, it was Jack Hemmings who opened them, the usual expression of careful indifference on his face. While Calum greeted him, Jack assessed them quickly, clinically. Ashton watched Jack’s eyes widen almost comically as he spotted Luke, half-hidden behind Calum’s back.

“Come in,” Jack answered Calum, his eyes staying on Luke as he took a step back to grant them entrance. Ashton watched as Luke squeezed himself past, Luke’s eyes never leaving the back of Calum’s head. As he felt Harry twitch in his grip, eager to follow the rest of their pack, Ashton pulled himself together. He had to focus on his little brother for now.

There were more hunters than the last time Ashton had set foot into the mansion. The halls seemed to be bustling with black gear clad men and women alike, all of them wearing a matching expressions of sobriety. Only few of them were carrying more elaborate weapons, but every single one of them had a gun strapped to them some where.

“It’s a bit busy at the moment,” Jack explained as he lead them across the entrance hall towards the wooden staircase. He was addressing Calum, exclusively, as Ashton knew was common practice, but it was obvious that Jack’s focus wasn’t on the alpha. “We have to move the remaining members of the Petrov pack and some of them are… well not cooperating. A beta of theirs has declared himself the new alpha.”

Ashton could hear Calum huff in front of him. A group of hunters passed them and Ashton just so managed to pull Harry back before he was touching a huntress’s dagger that was strapped to her hip and seemed to be made out of solid silver. After that, Ashton decided to simply pick Harry up and carry him. Harry squirmed in his grip, but didn’t complain. Ashton could tell he was too intimidated by everything going on around them to speak.

Jack nodded, “Yeah, it’s untenable. If he and the few of his supporters don’t submit soon, we might have to decimate the pack even further. You don’t happen to fancy any displaced omegas to join your pack, do you?”

“If you were handling them after my will,” Calum said as they had reached a door that Ashton recognised as the one leading to the library the council held their meetings in, “then you would have killed them in the factory hall, already. For the sake of the truce, I accept your decision to send them into other packs, splattered across the country. Should one of them so much as try to set a paw onto my territory, however, then it’s my law they are under. And I will not hesitate to execute it.”

If Ashton would have been human, he would have shuddered at Calum’s words. But he wasn’t human anymore and Ashton knew Calum. He felt what Calum felt, his own feelings mixing with the echoes resonating within his chest. Ashton had been there, in the factory hall when Calum had lived through the terror of seeing his entire pack in danger of being eradicated. Ashton had watched Calum live through months of anguish before that, desperate to find his mother, desperate to find out who had robbed them of one of their own. And now that Calum knew who had tried to mar his pack like that, his rage was cold as stone, icy like his words has been. It was a testament to the absolute control Calum possessed over his instincts that it hadn’t been more than words.

“I figured as much,” Jack smiled grimly at Calum and then pushed the door to the library open. Ashton swallowed down the strong feeling of déjà-vu as he followed Calum onto the gallery. The air was cool, heavy with the smell of books, and Ashton look down onto the lower story to find that the headhuntress was alone, safe for half a dozen hunters, positioned in even intervals along the walls. It made sense, as Aleko was dead and Shun had already given her consent.

The moment Ashton had set foot over the threshold, he felt his connection to Luke cease. Ashton didn’t look back to gauge Luke’s expression. He figured why Luke had taken himself out of everyone’s sensatory reach. It was better this way, not only for Luke’s own, but also for Harry’s sake.

“Welcome,” the headhuntress greeted Calum as soon as they had descended the stairs. Gently, Ashton let Harry slide down from his upper body and back to his feet.

“Is that the lady?” Harry asked, whispering. His eyes were wide.

Ashton nodded, and shot his brother a reassuring smile before he turned Harry around, so that Harry stood with his back pressed against Ashton’s knee. All four of them were facing the headhuntress now.

“Alpha Lam has informed me about the child. I assume that this is him?” the headhuntress gestured towards Harry. Her tone was impassive, clinical like the rest of her demeanor. Her eyes never wandered further than Ashton.

Calum took a step forward, “His name is Harry Irwin. He is the biological brother of my beta Ashton and was bitten by Alpha Petrov before the ambush on my pack. I think you recall him stating that he had a claim on Ashton.”

The headhuntress raised her eyebrows, indicating that she did.

“Harry was his way of claiming compensation for himself. As Alpha Petrov is dead and Alpha Shun has neither interest in nor any right to the boy, I claim him as mine. He’s a part of my family, and my beta.”

The headhuntress mustered Calum for a few, long seconds after he had ended before she turned to size up Harry, and then nodded, “I see him as a casualty of the conflict, and I admire your graciousness to take him in.”

Calum tilted his head in silent appreciation.

“He may step forward,” Ashton shuddered as the the head huntress’s eyes settled on him before she turned towards Calum. “He has to go.”

Ashton needed a moment to realise she was talking about him. Then he panicked, “What? Why? No, you can’t send me away!”

Before he could move, Calum’s hand was on his chest, and Ashton felt all his movements cease. It was like Calum had taken all the oxygen from his lungs, suspending him in midair. A second later, all of Ashton’s panic was smothered in echoes of reassurance and soothing. He could feel a phantom cut on his cheek, and suddenly he knew why the head huntress was sending him away. Ashton felt himself deflate. He lowered his head as soon as Calum had let him go, ashamed of his outbreak. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that one of the hunters in the room had moved, was now standing in front of them. He hadn’t raised his gun, simply waited. He stared Ashton down as he met the hunter’s eyes for a split second.

“Ashy,” Harry said from below him and Ashton looked down to find his little brother smiling at him, patting his thigh reassuringly. “It’s okay, Ashy, I know what to do. You can go if the doctor makes your stomach upset. I’ll hold very still and then we can get the ice cream.”

Ashton blinked hard against the burning in his eyes before he nodded and took a step back. Every muscle in his body yearned to hug his little brother, but he knew that the hunters wouldn’t appreciate that. Silently, he watched Calum guide Harry further into the room, towards the familiar panelled mosaic in the middle of it. The hunter walked right up to him once Calum and Harry were out of the way and Ashton allowed him to take his arm.

“Step forward, right there on the moon’s tip,” the head huntress ordered Harry while the nameless hunter ushered him out of the room.

Ashton caught Calum’s gaze as he had reached the top of the stairs and Calum nodded at him, nothing more than an infinitesimal tilt of his head, but it was enough to calm Ashton. He knew Calum would take care of Harry. Ashton redirected his gaze towards the floor and let the hunter lead him down the gallery towards the door.

Right before Ashton was pushed over the threshold and the heavy wooden door was thrown shut behind him, a body squeezed itself past under the hunter’s arm and then Luke was outside with him, grinning like a child.

Upon Ashton’s surprised look, Luke shrugged, “I’ve seen the procedure a hundred times, so I figured I could better keep you company.”

Ashton could tell by the glint in Luke’s eyes that the other boy wasn’t completely honest with him, but Ashton had no time to think about it when in the next moment, Luke bounded off the door and began strutting down the hallway. As soon as he was halfway down the hall, he turned back around, caught Ashton’s gaze, “You coming?”

Before Ashton could answer, Luke was walking again and all that Ashton could do was hurry after him. He just hoped no random hunter would see them and assume they had gone haywire. Ashton would have really preferred it if they were to get out of this without a silver bullet between their eyes.

*

The door was old, made out of the same dark wood like the rest of the walls and doors. Only upon closer inspection did Ashton spot little jabs and spots where the wood had been chipped that weren’t part of the intricate carvings endowing it. They had walked for nearly twenty minutes to get to the door, down a seemingly endless array of hallways, up and down different flights of stairs and Ashton had caught himself wondering more than once how in the hell Luke was able to remember the way, before he recalled that right, Luke had lived here once. The mansion had been his home as a child.

“It’s probably stupid, but,” Luke smiled sheepishly at him. He had been silent while they had walked, his demeanor having become more serious the closer they had gotten to their destination. “I always kinda wondered what they did with this room.”

And with that, Luke laid his hand on the handle and pushed the door open. Ashton followed him inside, hesitantly. He didn’t know what he had expected. What he saw, however, was not one of the things that would have come to his mind. But then, Ashton figured, it did make a lot of sense.

The room was big, much bigger than any child could have ever needed. The walls were painted in a royal blue, but covered in posters of Disney movies and scratchy drawings of different cartoon characters. Ashton smiled as he spotted a large Brother Bear poster above the humongous, wooden bed in the center of the room. Luke still liked to watch that one sometimes.

Toys of all shapes and sizes were cluttered over the parquet flooring and filling the shelves, mixed with arrows and knives and some other weapons that Ashton was a hundred percent sure were lethal. On the desk at the far end of the room, pushed beneath one of the big windows that were plunging the room in sunlight, Ashton spotted an unorganised pile of stationary, surrounding a stack of seventh grade school books. Ashton could feel something tug on his heart. It was then that he noticed the small details, the unmade state of the bed, the thick layer of dust covering the intricate carvings of the bed’s foot end, the wide open doors of the wardrobe, as if someone had just pulled them open to hastily grab a shirt. But no one had, not in years.

Luke had stilled, in the middle of his children’s room. Only his eyes moved as he took in the untouched state of it, over and over again. Ashton could see the exact moment that Luke realised unfolding in his eyes.

“Nothing,” Luke said, swallowing thickly against the lump in his throat. “Nothing has changed.”

“No one dared to,” Ashton murmured and Luke nodded.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

The voice was clipped, cold, and in an instant, Ashton felt himself freeze. His heart skipped a beat before it resumed to pound twice as fast. Slowly, Ashton turned around. Ben Hemmings stood with his shoulder leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed in front of his chest. The whole situation would have been almost comical to Ashton, because Ben wasn’t wearing the usual hunters’ gear but sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt and he looked so almost normal, but Ashton was well aware of the fact that the hunter didn’t need his crossbow to end their life for good.

It was Luke’s voice that pulled Ashton back to reality, meeting his brother’s just as coolly, “Neither should you. Keep away from the dead, hunter.”

Ashton could see Ben's jaw clench. His voice was so fully laced with venom that it made Ashton take a step back as Ben spit, “I can’t believe your audacity.”

Ashton didn’t have to be able to see Luke to see his hackles rise.

“How dare you!” Ben’s eyes were filled with hatred and for the first time since they had stepped into the house, Ashton was glad he couldn’t feel what Luke felt. “How dare you set foot into this house? How dare you enter this room? You have no right to be here. What were you thinking?”

Luke inhaled, but Ben just continued to spit his venom. “Oh, let me guess. Was it the little talk you and Jack had? Yes, _beta_ , I do know about that. Of course it didn’t escape my notice when your alpha didn’t inform us of a casualty within his pack. The silver wolf lives and Jack’s been running around with this idea of a possible reconciliation in his head. But I can tell you right now not to trust any of that. He’s just confused.”

“Funny,” Luke bit back. Ashton recognised the flat tone to his voice. “He said the same thing about you.”

Ben nodded, a haughty smile playing on his lips as he looked around the room, “I can imagine he did that. See, his problem is that he can’t let go of our little brother. So he succumbed to the idea that you didn’t know. But you did know, didn’t you?”

Ashton turned his head to gauge Luke’s reaction and was surprised to find guilt on his face. Ben’s smile was triumphant as he nodded his head, “I know exactly what you did. Jack has this idea in his head that it was the wolves who took you from us. But they didn’t. You were the smartest of us all, you knew the rules even better than me. You knew what would happen when you walked into the woods that night and you did it nonetheless."

Ben inhaled, "This room is a grave. It’s a shrine for a victim of the perpetual war, us against the beasts. But you aren’t a victim, Luke. You’re a traitor. We had such high hopes for you, _I_ had such high hopes for you, and you threw it all away to become a monster. You could have been the greatest hunter of us all and instead you went and let yourself be turned into an atrocity. You aren’t worth the truce. You aren’t worth the shameful breach of the code that mother committed to save your life. She mourned you in this room!” Ben jabbed his finger in the direction of the unmade sheets of Luke’s old bed. Suddenly, his voice was loud, so incredibly loud that Ashton felt the urge to cover his ears. “Father didn’t eat for weeks and sometimes I still catch Jack talking to you, alone in his room. When you left you broke them, all of them! We raised you and you destroyed our family!”

“You destroyed me!” Luke screamed, finally screamed back. It was clear that Ben hadn’t expected it when he took a step back. “You said you raised me? You didn’t raise me, you merely fed me to grow big enough to become a soldier! But I never wanted to be one! I didn’t want to be a hunter! I didn’t want to kill anyone! And yes you are right! I knew exactly what I was doing! This,” Luke spun around and pulled up the back of his shirt, exposing his back. Ashton watched Ben’s face pale as his eyes flicked over the jarred scars. “This was a decision, _my_ decision. I chose myself! And you can call me weak and quote the code at me a hundred times, but guess what? I would do it all over again. Because there is no weakness in having chosen myself! I was not weak for having wanted a childhood and free time roaming around the woods to find bugs instead of practising my cross country range. I was not weak for having chosen a family that would love me, instead of training me.”

“I loved you!”

Ashton positively felt his mouth drop open as he watched the hunter in front of him roar, shaking like a wounded lion. Ashton didn’t have to be told to know that this was probably the first time in three years that Ben Hemmings had cried.

“I loved you. And you left to become the very thing I have been trained my whole life to hunt down. I know you always liked Jack and Mom and Dad better than me, but I loved you, too. And you left me.” The last words didn’t come out louder than a whisper, and Ashton felt it, felt the heartbreak unfold within his chest. He didn’t cut the echo off. He was paralysed where he stood. Luke surpassed him, shaking just as badly as his brother and Ashton could feel tears form in his own eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Luke said, his voice quivering as he came to a halt in front of his brother and slowly, hesitantly but then with determination, cupped his brother’s face between his hands. Ben yielded upon the touch, his knees simply giving out under him and he fell to his knees. Luke shook his head, frantically, “The code is what our mother says it to be. It doesn’t have to be this way.”

Ben shook his head, but then his arms, huge in comparison to Luke’s slender ones, came up to encompass his younger brother and he buried his face in Luke’s chest. As Ashton watched Luke cling to Ben, tears streaming down both of their faces, Ashton remembered something his mother had once told him and he had never believed it to be more true than in this moment: _Hatred is a secondary emotion, Ashton. It is betrayed mercy, and broken trust and it never comes to be on its own. It replaces a love so strong that the loss of it has thrown the person feeling it into insanity._

Ashton could taste it in the air, that very same insanity and pain and the ocean deep yearning to be forgiven, being emitted from both of the people in front of him at the same time. Ashton was careful to be silent as he made his way towards the door. He would wait outside.

When the door eventually opened, it was Luke who emerged first. The tears on his face had been dried, and only the slightly red-rimmed state of his eyes gave away that they had been there in the first place. Ben’s hand lay on his shoulder as he walked, and Ashton felt his eyes widen as he spotted the small, but unimistakably there smile on the hunter’s face. It was almost weird, seeing that Ben was capable of such emotions.

“I will escort you back to the library,” Ben said, his tone addressing the both of them, but his eyes staying locked on Luke. “If you run on your own, that might scare some apprentice into shooting you.”

“Lead the way,” Luke smiled, hesitantly, and motioned towards the hallway in front of them with a shaky gesture. There was a certain kind of insecurity to both their expressions, Ashton noticed. Ben and Luke weren’t fine yet, they couldn’t be after all the years of suffering they had put each other through and all the unresolved words that still needed to be said between the both of them and Luke’s family and Luke in general, but Ashton could see determination on both their faces to make it work. It made Ashton indefinitely happy, the knowledge that even though Luke hadn’t had his family back, there was a chance now.

*

Ashton felt his stomach sink as Ben lead them down the grand staircase to where Calum and the headhuntress were standing, obviously waiting for them. Calum met his eyes for only a second before he averted his gaze and Ashton could tell that he was angry.

“Ashy!” Harry struggled himself free from Calum’s grip and ran towards him, bouncing around him like a bouncy ball. “The lady said I passed the test! I’m a fully-certified superhero now!”

Uttering a relieved sigh, Ashton picked his brother up and pressed him against his chest, maybe a little bit too tight for comfort, but Ashton couldn’t care. Not when they had authorised Harry.

“That’s amazing, buddy!”

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Calum said, loudly enough for Harry to press his mouth back shut where he had been eager to explain Ashton how well he had done.

“Save travels home, Alpha Hood,” the headhuntress averted her gaze from where she had watched Harry and Ashton and nodded at Calum. Ashton believed to have seen a flicker of sadness in her eyes, visible only for the fraction of a second, but he quickly discarded the idea. “Valete!*”

“Valete,” Calum gave back and then turned to exit through the entrance doors. Ashton was quick to follow him, Harry perched on his hip.

“Goodbye, mother.”

Ashton nearly stumbled over the threshold as the words reached his ears. Calum’s head whipped around where he was already halfway down the gravel way to the car. Luke was standing in front of the headhuntress, giving her a smile that was just a tad too bright and then, not awaiting her answer and probably not even expecting one, he was skipping past Ashton and headed towards the car. Ashton hasted after him, careful not to jumble Harry too much as he almost sprinted to the Jeep.

It was only when Ashton was safely perched on the passenger seat that he dared to look back to the entrance door. It was still open, the headhuntress frozen in her spot, her eyes widened. There was no other emotion visible on her face other than surprise, but Ashton knew that the Hemmings were notorious for keeping a mask of indifference up when their emotions threatened to overwhelm them. Ashton could feel the headhuntress look after her son as Calum pressed the ignition button and steered the car off the mansion grounds.

* * *

Valete! = "valere" means to be strong, healthy and well, used in the plural imperative it's a common "Goodbye!" 

 


	38. serein

_ serein _

_ noun, no plural _

_ 1\. the fine, light rain that falls from a clear sky during sunset  _

_ 2\. evening serenity _

 

“I’ll be quick,” Ashton said as Calum pulled up to his house. 

On the backseat, Harry was passed out with his head bedded on Luke’s thigh. Luke was steadily running his fingers through Harry’s hair, his face turned towards the side window.  Ashton wasn’t sure which of them needed the soothing more. 

The evening’s air was cold as Ashton sprinted up the short way to his front door. High in the sky, the moon shone in a waxing gibbous, and Ashton could feel it singing to him. The full moon was only a few nights away. 

He could hear the TV playing as he pulled the front door shut behind him. As he tiptoed into the living room, he found his mother on the couch, fast asleep in the same spot Ashton and Calum had left her. Ashton made sure to pick up a blanket and drape it over her shoulders before he turned off the TV. After having pressed a last kiss to his mother’s forehead, Ashton tiptoed back out of the room. 

His own room lay in darkness as he pushed the worn door open. Ashton squinted against the ceiling light as he flicked the switch. It had been a long time since he had seen his room bathed in light. The past weeks, he had only ever entered it to fall straight into bed after school and dinner with his siblings. The room seemed cold to Ashton now, unfamiliar as if he was entering the bedroom of someone else. Maybe it was because his home was somewhere else now. 

After a short period of rummaging, Ashton had retrieved his old duffle bag from under a pile of winter jackets that were occupying the bottom of his closet and he started putting even the last of his clothes into his bag. Once he had emptied his wardrobe, he turned towards his desk. 

It was then that he felt a second heartbeat pound in his ears. Ashton saw himself smile in the reflection of the window above his desk. 

“You should be in bed, tyke.” 

“You’re leaving.” 

Lauren was frowning at him when Ashton turned around to face her. She was in her pyjamas, her hair made up in the braid that their mother usually did for her so her long hair wouldn’t get tangled during sleep. Lauren hadn’t framed it as a question, but Ashton nodded nonetheless. 

“I am,” he answered, truthfully. 

Lauren cast her eyes down. There was a sadness in her eyes that no ten year-old should ever carry, Ashton thought. She bit her lip before she looked back up at him, “Mom told me what happened. Is it true?” 

Ashton nodded and crouched down. Immediately, Lauren tripped over to him. As soon as she was an arm’s reach away, Ashton let his eyes light up, elongated his fangs as proof. He had expected Lauren to scream, run away from him. His sister did neither. Instead, Lauren took the final step forward and touched his face. She said his name. Ashton felt his fangs disappear on their own accord.

“I’m going to be gone for a while,” Ashton said, eventually. 

“To be with Harry?” 

“Yeah.” 

Lauren nodded again, but Ashton didn’t have to be able to feel an echo to sense the feeling of defeat in his sister’s heart, and that one kind of fear that he had spent years trying to rid her off. 

“I’m not leaving you,” Ashton told her, firmly. “Not like dad did. Not ever.” 

Lauren sniffed, hastily rubbed her nose with her hand, “You could take me with you, you know? I could be a wolf as well.” 

“I’m sorry, tyke. Trust me, you don’t want that.” 

Lauren’s expression crumbled, but she accepted his words with a nod. There was braveness in her gaze and Ashton felt pride, pride because he knew that his sister was able to handle it. Lauren would handle it, and she would never once complain after this night and Ashton prayed, prayed to every deity that could hear him, that she knew that she was never going to be alone. 

“I love you,” Ashton said and opened his arms. Lauren was clinging to him within a heartbeat. He buried his face in her hair, one of the pins holding her braid together poking him in the cheek. “My favourite sister.” 

“Ashton, I’m your only sister.” 

“Even more so.” 

They hugged until Lauren eventually pushed against his chest in an attempt to struggle free. 

Ashton let her go reluctantly, “I’ll come back tomorrow after school and check in on you.  And then on the weekend you can come visit us. And when Mom wants to hug you then… then let her okay?” 

“Okay,” Lauren promised, a tiny smile playing on her lips and he knew that she had understood. 

Ashton pulled himself to his feet after that. He picked up the duffel bag and threw it over his shoulder. 

“You want a piggy back ride to your room?” 

Lauren nodded with the sudden, uninhibited kind of excitement only a child could muster and Ashton savoured every giggle that came over her lips as he picked her up and carried her to her room. He made sure that she was tucked in properly, all her favourite plushies arranged in a crown around her head before he made his way back towards the door. 

“Hey, Ashton?” 

With his hand around the handle, Ashton turned back around, “Yeah?”

“Love you.” 

He smiled before he flicked off the lights, “I love you too, tyke.” 

Once he was out of the room, Ashton picked his duffelbag back up and hurried down the stairs. He didn’t look back as he walked out of the front door. 

*

To say that the ride back to the house was tense would have been an understatement. Ashton watched Calum practically quiver with anger as Calum clutched the steering wheel, his eyes glued to the road. On the backseat, Luke and Harry were passed out by now, so it was just him and Ashton. Ashton swallowed against the unease in his bones and focussed on the soft music spilling from the radio. He watched the night swoosh by the passenger window and clutched his hands in his lap. He feared that he would have reached out otherwise and tried to rest his hand on Calum’s. 

The second Calum had parked the Jeep in the barn, he unbuckled his seatbelt and was out of the car. He threw the car door shut behind him with a loud bang, effectively startling Harry and Luke awake. Ashton pried his eyes away from Calum’s retreating figure and sighed before he climbed out of the car. Gently, he opened the backdoor on Luke’s side and took Harry from his arms. 

“I’ll wait in the kitchen,” Luke said as they approached the house. 

Ashton nodded, “I’ll put Harry to bed and then I’ll be right there.” 

Luke smiled, not more than a nervous twitch of his mouth and then he was gone. 

Ashton pushed Harry higher up his shoulder and headed for the front door. Halfway up the stairs to the bedrooms, he met Michael. The purple strands were fanned out like a crown around his head, his gaze bleary as he smiled at Ashton. 

“Hey, how’d it go? We keeping the cub?”

Ashton nodded, and for the first time he allowed himself to be truly relieved. “Yes,” he said. “They authorised him, thankfully. I’d stay away from the kitchen, though.” 

Michael frowned before his gaze became slightly unfocused and Ashton knew he was listening into the room downstairs, feeling for echoes around the house. Ashton could tell the very moment Michael had found Luke. The next second, he had swung himself over the railing, was making a beeline for the kitchen. Ashton sighed at the ceiling, but didn’t call after him. There was no help for the hopeless, Ashton figured.

Harry stirred in his grip, and sluggishly tried to get upright in his arms. Ashton was quick to rub his back, telling him to go back to sleep. 

“No, the ice cream,” Harry whined, the sound ceasing as his eyes drooped back shut. 

“Tomorrow, buddy,” Ashton consoled him. “You did so well today, Harry. Tomorrow we’re going to eat a whole tub.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

“Okay,” Harry relented and not a second later, his head had dropped back onto Ashton’s shoulder. Ashton smiled and took the last steps towards Harry’s room. Luke and Mali had cleared it for the seven year-old. Calum had told him they had used it as a storage room before, like they did with most of the empty rooms in the house. Harry’s room was still bare, not more than naked walls, a bed, a dresser and the heap of toys Luke had retrieved from the attic. Ashton made a mental note to pick up a few of Harry’s belongings when he went back to his mother’s house the next day, as well as maybe squeeze in a trip to Home Depot in the nearer future. For now, a bed and clean sheets were enough. Ashton would have preferred to stay, watch over in Harry in his sleep for some time, but he knew that they were waiting for him. So he quietly left his brother’s room and snuck back downstairs. 

Michael was perched on the countertop next to the stove when Ashton walked into the kitchen. Michael was watching Luke who was standing with his back leaned against the fridge, his eyes cast down. Ashton positioned himself next to him. This way, Calum would only have to yell in one direction. 

“So,” Calum began as soon as Ashton looked up at him. The alpha boy was at the opposite side of the kitchen, keeping the kitchen island between them. He stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest and Ashton could feel the Calum’s barely contained anger repercuss in his chest. His voice was quiet, deadly as he asked, “Would you two mind to tell me where the fuck you went earlier in the hunters’ mansion?”

“We…” Ashton started, unsure himself where he was planning to go with the sentence, when he was interrupted by Luke. 

“I’m sorry, Calum,” Luke said. “It was my fault. I coaxed Ashton into exploring with me.” 

“Exploring?” Ashton watched Calum’s eyes almost bulge out of his head. “Are you kidding me?” 

“It wasn’t-” Ashton tried but Calum cut him off. 

“Oh, no! I pray to the moon that you two didn’t know what the hell you were doing because otherwise I’d have to assume  _ that you are out of your goddamn mind! _ ” Calum’s voice rose towards the end of the sentence and Ashton felt his heart clench with guilt. 

Sure, they had fought before, but this was the first time that Calum was truly upset with him and it was killing Ashton. Every single fibre in his body screamed at Ashton to cower, beg for forgiveness. The urge was mostly instinct-driven, Ashton knew as much, but it still took his breath away. 

Calum bellowed, “You don’t just go ‘exploring’ when you’re in a place that is brimming with people who are a hundred percent bend on killing you if you so much as take a wrong step!” His chest was heaving as his gaze settled on Luke. “I knew you came with us for a reason, Luke, but this is not okay. You could have been killed. You could have gotten Ashton killed. You-” Calum’s voice broke and Ashton watched him clench his fists. 

Ashton could hear Luke swallow before the blond boy spoke up, “I’m sorry.” For the fraction of a second, Luke met Ashton’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to endanger anyone, I really didn’t. Sorry,” Luke whispered, looking truly devastated and Calum deflated. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Go to bed,” Calum sighed. “We all have school tomorrow, just,” Calum waved his hand and Luke didn’t waste any time to haste towards the exit. Michael was hot on his heels, his lips pressed into an unhappy line. 

Calum didn’t look at Ashton once Luke and Michael were gone, simply turned around and stomped off into the living room. Ashton took several deep breaths, trying to gather up enough courage. Then he followed Calum. 

*

Michael sticked out his tongue as soon as he had closed the door of his room behind them. He swallowed hard against the bitter taste in his mouth. Though Calum’s anger hadn’t been directed at him, Michael had still lived through it, had felt it vicariously through Luke and Ashton. 

Luke was standing in front of the window, his head tilted slightly upwards where he was gazing at the sky. Even though Michael only saw his backside, he didn’t miss the quivering of Luke’s hands. With a silent sigh, Michael walked over to his bed and flopped himself down on the duvet. He had napped while he had waited for the others to return and the sheets were still crumpled from that, so he made sure to smooth them out under him before he sprawled himself out. 

“Calum did most of the chewing out part, but if you want to yell at me as well then you can do it now.” 

Michael frowned at Luke’s words. Not because he hadn’t expected them, but because that meant it would take considerably longer until Luke would come to bed with him and Michael could cuddle him happy. 

He kept his voice even as he said, “I don’t want to yell at you, Luke.” 

Luke turned his head and blinked at him, questioningly. He was utterly beautiful to Michael, even now that his gaze was clouded and his posture slumped. 

Michael held out his hand and waited until Luke, after a moment of hesitation, walked over to take it. Michael intertwined their fingers, “When you told me that you were going to accompany Cal and Ashton to the claiming, what did I tell you?” 

“You told me that it’s fine and that it is my job to come back home to you safely.” 

“That’s right,” Michael squeezed his hand. “And did you do that?” 

Luke bit his lip, “Yes.” 

“See,” Michael smiled. “I have no reason to yell at you. Now do you want to tell me what happened?” 

Luke sighed and finally let himself fall down next to Michael. He waited patiently as Luke shifted around, discarded his shirt before he curled in on himself and pulled Michael’s arm over his waist. Michael was quick to wriggle around until he was spooning Luke properly. Letting out a content sigh, he buried his nose in Luke’s hair. Michael could tell the other boy was smiling at that, if only for a moment. 

“I went to my room,” Luke began, ”like my old room there. I just wanted to see what they did with it, you know? But they didn’t change it at all. It looked exactly like it did when I left it. Ben called it a shrine.” 

Michael felt himself go rigid, “Ben?” 

Luke squirmed in his grip and Michael immediately let go. Luke wriggled around until he was facing Michael. He didn’t meet Michael’s eyes. “He caught Ashton and I. And we… he screamed at me and then I screamed back and then…” 

Luke didn’t have to spell it out for Michael. Michael knew Luke too well. He could tell from the way Luke’s eyes were filled with fear but not of Ben. No, there was no venom anymore when Luke spoke his brother’s name and Michael had hoped for that a long time. 

For years he had wished for Luke’s family to pull their heads out of their tightly clenched asses and accept Luke back into the family. Countless times he had looked at the moon and asked her for the Hemmings to forget the code and value their son and brother more than a couple of outdated rules. And then Michael had been impaled and poisoned. He let his eyes flutter shut and took a couple of deep breaths. 

Luke’s hand was hesitant as it laid itself on Michael’s cheek. “Are you mad at me?” Luke asked, meekly. “For forgiving them? For forgiving Ben?” 

Michael opened his eyes and met the other boy’s gaze. The tight feeling in his gut vanished as he searched Luke’s eyes. He could see it, in Luke’s eyes and Michael was thirteen again and Luke was looking at him with the same expression on his face after Michael had just told him for the felt thousandth time that they couldn’t see each other anymore. Luke hadn’t cried or complained, then. He had done that the first time, in the beginning, and never again after that. 

Michael hadn’t known it then, but he recognised it now. Luke’s eyes were brimming with devotion and Michael knew that Luke would repeat what he had done before, if Michael asked him to. If Michael asked him to, Luke would retreat and cut his family back out of his life, hate them with the same vigor that Michael did, now, after they had almost killed him. Because Luke would rather tear the love for his family out of his own body fibre by fibre and scorch the ends than offending Michael. 

 

“If it would have been the opposite way around,” Michael said eventually, wetting his lips with a quick swipe of his tongue, “and your brother would have been the one that had taken you from me, then I would have wanted to kill him. I can only imagine the insanity that losing you spread in his mind. So no, I am not mad. I could never be. I am happy for you. The only thing I mourn is that I can’t follow you there. They’ll always hate me. But you deserve to have your family heal. You deserve to become Luke Hemmings again.” 

“I’ll never be Luke Hemmings again,” Luke gave back, softly. He was smiling while he said it, but there was a glint of sadness in his eyes, just before Luke let his eyes flutter close and shifted closer to him until they were pressed against each other, Luke’s lips warm against his sternum. 

“Luke?” Michael prayed for the fearful pounding of his heart to stop. 

The other boy hummed, either oblivious to or purposely ignoring the echoes Michael was pretty sure he was giving off right now. 

“Do you regret it? What you did that night?” Michael didn’t have to specify. It wasn’t the first time he asked. 

Luke pried his eyes open slowly and tilted his head back to look at him. 

“No,” he said, firmly, “I never have and I never will. When I walked into the woods I did that for you, but I also did it for myself. I didn’t want to be Luke Hemmings. I didn’t want to be a hunter. I was not a natural born leader like Ben and I wasn’t zealous about the hunter life like Jack. I didn’t want to spend all my free time training how to kill. I wanted to play and have friends and be a kid.”

“But the moon bound you in other ways.” 

“The moon set me free. And that is what I wanted. I just wanted to be free. I just wanted to be with you. And that’s still all I want.” 

This time, Luke smiled, earnestly, and Michael felt himself relax. He nodded, showing Luke that had understood once again, and pulled him closer. Luke snuggled into him without hesitation, pushed Michael onto his back so that he could roll himself on top of him. Once they were pressed against each other from their knees to their stomachs, Luke grinned at him. Michael couldn’t help but laugh and pressed a quick kiss to Luke’s mouth before the other boy slid down far enough so he could bed his head on Michael’s chest. 

It took Michael a moment to realise Luke was humming. Luke only sang a single line of the song, nothing more than mumbled words against Michael’s skin. The only ones that mattered, “So never look back.” 

Michael chimed in, could feel Luke’s content smile as he did so, “Give me your heart and I will give you my hand.” 

They had lain in silence for a long time, so long almost that Michael had thought Luke had already fallen asleep when he felt an echo unfold in his chest. It was pure adoration. It felt like the soft press of Luke’s lips against his. Smiling, Michael pulled the other boy closer and let his eyes flutter shut. 

*

Ashton found Calum standing in front of one of the floor-length windows of the living room. Calum stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest, his back turned towards the room. Silently, Ashton walked up to him. He could feel Calum’s anger pulse in his own veins. The echoes got marginally weaker with every heartbeat, but Calum was still quivering when Ashton took the last step forward and stepped into Calum’s space, careful not to let their bodies touch. 

Ashton could hear Calum hold his breath as he slowly lowered his head and pressed a kiss to Calum’s shoulder, pressed his sorry into the fabric of Calum’s sweatshirt. Calum didn’t move for a long time, so long almost that Ashton began to get anxious, but then the muscles beneath Ashton’s lips began to move and Calum was wrapping a hand around the nape of his neck. 

Relieved, Ashton let his eyes flutter shut and pecked Calum on the hair before he buried his face in the crook of his shoulder. Above him, Calum let his head loll to the side so that it was resting on Ashton’s skull. Ashton savoured the echo of serenity smothering cooled anger that resonated within his chest. He knew that Calum was still upset, but now they could talk about it. 

As soon as the muscles of his neck began to strain, Ashton took Calum’s hand off of his nape and intertwined their fingers. Then he pulled Calum towards the Chesterfield closest to them. Calum went with him, if not completely pliantly. 

As soon as they had settled in, each of them with their backs pressed against one of the armrests, Ashton pushed his hand into his pocket. He frowned as he came up empty and shot Calum, who had watched him with furrowed brows, an apologetic smile, “I don’t have any money in my pocket so I can’t pay you a penny, but I definitely offer you a kiss for your thoughts.” 

A small smile played on Calum’s lips as he shook his head, “Ashton.” 

“Just saying, I’ve been told that I’m a pretty great kiss giver.” 

Calum’s head whipped, danger flashing in his eyes, “By whom?”

This time it was Ashton who shook his head, laughing, “You, idiot. And get over yourself. While the whole possessive things is hot, you’re overdoing it. Rein in the alpha, please.” 

Calum sighed and Ashton dug his toes into his stomach, wriggled them to annoy Calum just that further. It worked, though. Ashton could feel Calum’s anger vanish. Eventually, Calum caught his foot, wrapped his hand around his ankle and pulled. Ashton shrieked as Calum mercilessly dragged him across the couch. Once Ashton had ended up with his ass in Calum’s lap, he giggled and wrapped his legs around Calum’s waist. Calum grazed his teeth down his neck, not enough to leave any marks, but enough to make goosebumps erupt on Calum’s arms. 

“You know,” Ashton breathed out, “my offer still stands.” 

Calum’s breath was hot against his neck as he sighed and pulled away. His eyes met Ashton’s for only the fraction of a second before they wandered over to the window. 

“It’s finally okay,” Calum’s voice was not louder than a whisper as he spoke. “Everything is finally okay. There is no one missing or after our throats, you talked to your mother and I finally felt like I could breathe again when we left the library because we even managed to get Harry claimed, but then you and Luke weren’t there. You weren’t there, Ashton, and you took the peace with you and...” 

Calum looked at him and his eyes were gleaming with a desperation to convey to Ashton what he was trying to say despite his lack of words. 

Quickly, Ashton hugged him. “It’s okay,” he murmured into Calum’s hair. “I get it, I swear. I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have left. There is some things that happened with Luke, but I’m sure he will tell you himself tomorrow.”

“Yeah, he tried to talk to me while you were still putting Harry to bed, but I couldn’t listen then.” 

Ashton nodded, then he smiled and pressed his lips to Calum’s. 

“Here,” he said. “Your pay.” 

Calum clacked his tongue as Ashton pulled away, “You know, I told you a lot of my thoughts. I think I deserve a little more.” 

“Yeah?” Ashton asked slid his hands higher up Calum’s neck until he could scrape his nails over the short bristles at the back the other boy’s head. It were times like these when Ashton mourned Calum’s longer hair. 

“Yeah,” Calum tilted his chin up, looked at Ashton with half-lidded eyes. “Yeah, definitely.” 

“Well, if you insist,” Ashton grinned as he leaned down. “Who am I to deny you? Even though I distinctly remember you telling me and basically the rest of the house that it’s already past our bedtime.” 

“I think we can make an exception here,” Calum pondered, but his hands were already slipping beneath Ashton’s shirt. “We’ll go to bed later.” 

“Mhm,” Ashton hummed and then he pressed his open mouth to Calum’s, “later sounds just right.” 


	39. denouement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the penultimate chapter, and the last chapter of the story's present. The last chapter will be an epilogue, taking place a couple of years in the future. I will save my big, sappy gratitude speech for this epilogue, but here I will say this: 
> 
> To you, you incredible and phenomenal and crazy with me people who have made it this far. To us. Efferitas exeat.

_denouement_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. the resolution of a story following it’s dramatic climax_

_2\. the unravelling of a story’s last details so the plot comes to a fulfilling end_

 

Ashton stood by his locker, trying to retrieve the bulky tome that was his AP Biology book. He felt Ashley’s presence even before she tapped him on the shoulder. Her heartbeat and scent stood out amongst the sea of students around them. Ashton was accustomed to it.

“Morning, Jacob,” Ashley chimed as she leaned herself against the closed locker next to Ashton’s. Ashton stilled where he had managed to maneuver the tome into his arms and squinted at her.

“What did you just call me?”

Ashley grinned, “Oh, don’t be so grumpy, Evo.”

Ashton inhaled sharply.

“Don’t be a…”

“Don’t you dare say it,” Ashton bared his teeth at her.

“... _sourwolf_.”

Ashley preened and pushed herself off the locker to catch up to Ashton who had turned around with a huff and begun to walk down the hall.

“Hey, Lupin, wait up! Don’t be such a sullen puppy.”

“I don’t like you. I don’t like anything you do,” Ashton mumbled as they squeezed themselves past a group of freshmen blocking the door leading into the science wing. Ashton was pretending to be annoyed, but truly he felt nothing but relieved. The fact that Ashley was already making fun of him for being a werewolf meant that she had accepted Ashton’s new, supernatural self.

“Wrong,” Ashley smiled as soon as they had entered the Science wing, their steps echoing loudly on the tiled flooring. “You like everything I do because you love me.”

“Regretfully, yes.”

“Great. How was your weekend, how did it go after… what happened,” Ashley let her voice drop to a whisper as they entered the classroom.

Ashton felt his heart sink as he took his usual seat. He hurried to unpack the rest of his things before he turned towards Ashley, who was busy pulling her own book form her miniscule backpack. Ashton felt like it had been ages since they had last seen each other and not just a weekend. So much had happened, so many things that he had to tell her. Ashley didn’t know about Harry yet. She took the seat next to Ashton and looked at him expectantly. Ashton swallowed as in the front of the classroom, their teacher began to recap their last session.

“Something happened after I dropped you off at home,” Ashton began and he had no idea how he was supposed to go from there, so he squeezed it out, told Ashley everything that had happened in hushed tones and with a pounding heart. Once Ashton had ended, Ashley lifted her gaze from where she had stared at her book, eyes unmoving while she had listened.

She asked, “So Harry is a werewolf now too?”

Ashton nodded, “He’s staying at the pack house for now. Born werewolves gain control over their physical enhancements around his age, but because he’s bitten we’ll have to wait. At the moment his school thinks he’s sick. I talked to Joy and she said it’s probably best to take him out of school for a year, let him get accustomed to his life and once he’s ready he can go back.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Ashley smiled at him, dimly but with earnestness in her eyes, and Ashton felt undeniably consoled as she took his hand and squeezed it under the table.

“I think so too. As terrible as everything went down, I’m really glad we are on the right track now. Hey, Calum’s throwing a big dinner party tonight because he says we have to celebrate our survival and the return of his mother. You wanna come?”

Ashley sighed, “I’d love to and I’ll definitely come around some other time to inspect whether they are treating you right, but tonight’s date night and I’d rather not cancel. Lido totally held my party together after I’ve ditched it and I really wanna make it up to him. He even talked my parents out of calling the cops when they came home earlier as planned so he deserves it.”

“That’s fine, I totally get it,” Ashton waved her off. “What are your plans?”

Ashley grinned at him, “Well…”

“Mrs Frangipane,” their teacher called out loudly from the front of the room. “I’ve been watching you and Mr Irwin chat for half the lesson now. Do you mind sharing what is so incredibly interesting that it even overshadows your excitement for the transcription process of mRNA?”

“Nothing, Sir! Nothing could possibly be more exciting than the transcription process of mRNA!”

Their teacher rolled their eyes in annoyance but let it go and Ashton hurried to keep his eyes and attention on his book after that.

It was when he was walking towards the cafeteria with Ashley and Michael chatting over where Ashton had his head buried in his English Lit book that it happened. A huddle of sophomores made Ashton look up and Ashton raised his head to spot a lanky figure at the end of the hallway.

The boy was busy pushing up his thin-rimmed glasses with his left arm as the right arm was suspended in a sling fixed around his shoulder. When he looked up to find Ashton already looking at him, all the colour drained from his face. Ashton could see Carter’s grip on his backpack tighten and like that, he turned sharply on his heels, rounding the corner before Ashton could hear him run down the next hallway. Greg, Carter’s remaining gorilla, was left to run after him with a dumbfounded expression.

Ashton made sure Michael was still engrossed in his conversation with Ashley, hadn’t noticed Carter’s short-lived presence before he buried his nose back in his book. He couldn’t quite help the smile that was tugging at his lips.

*

Ashton nearly got decapitated by a platter of cheese as he entered the house through the back door. The kitchen was bustling. Joy and Mali were busy heaving a giant roast into the oven while Mali’s fiancé was mixing up salad in a huge bowl and Luke carried platters of appetizers out to the dinner table, coordinated by Michael’s mother Karen who was simultaneously surveying her husband chopping vegetables.

Ashton tried hard to breathe past the array of spices and smoke that attacked his olfactory nerves and squeezed himself past into the living room. Michael smiled up at him where he had been designated to set the table. He was chatting with Min and her sister Han, the latter shooting him a sheepish smile as she met Ashton’s gaze.

On the sofas, Shun was sitting, talking to Calum, along with another three members of her pack that Ashton had never seen before. Liling was playing on the ground at her mother’s feet and Ashton spotted a familiar head of honey-coloured curls opposite of her.

“Ashy!”

Not a second later, Ashton was immobilised by small arms wrapping around his hips.

“Hey, buddy.”

Someone that Ashton strongly suspected to be Mali had dressed Harry for the occasion. His little brother was wearing a neat, black suit, the white lapels matching the laces of his dress shoes. How Mali had managed to get him to put the in no way comfortable leather shoes on, Ashton would have to ask her later.

“Ashy, Liling and I built a spaceship! Her Mom brought legos, a whole bucket full! Do you wanna see it?”

“Sure!” Ashton laughed and gently pried his brother’s arms from his waist before he took a step back. “Just let me change into different clothes and then you can show me, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry beamed at him before he ran off again.

Ashton looked after him fondly for a moment, savouring the energy of his brother, the way he was vibrating with life. Then he he turned towards the hallway and made his way upstairs.

The door of Ashton’s wardrobe was standing wide open as he walked into his room. A hanger had been hung onto the door, securing that Ashton’s eyes would fall onto the garment bag dangling from it first. Ashton shook his head grinningly and sent Mali an echo of gratitude. She would feel it, Ashton knew, despite her not being a turned werewolf. Then he took the few steps into his room and zipped the garment bag open.  

Ashton smiled at the white lapels of the crisp, black suit, the white shoelaces he found in the Oxfords placed beneath the garment bag. Quickly, he stripped out of his school clothes and put on the suit. Once he had squeezed his feet into the shoes also, Ashton took himself in in the mirror of his wardrobe.

He looked nice, Ashton could tell as much. The suit fit him perfectly and something inside Ashton’s gut told him the measurements Mali had taken of him, during one of the check-ups she did regularly with all of them, had been abused to make it that way. Ashton lifted his hands and smoothed out his curls as best as possible. A small smile spread over his lips when the door to his room opened. Ashton turned around.

Unlike the suits of Ashton and Harry, and Luke and Michael as Ashton knew, Calum’s lapels were golden, his shoes all black. Ashton thought that Calum would have only looked more royal if someone had put a crown onto his head. But Calum didn’t need a crown. He wore his nobility with poise. It was ingrained into the way he moved and spoke. He was simply born with it.

“Mhm,” Calum hummed as he closed the door behind him. “I should have hosted some kind of dinner earlier. I didn’t know I needed you in a suit that badly but looking at you now...”

Ashton snorted but couldn’t help the blush spreading over his cheeks. Hastily, he crouched down to where he had discarded his jeans and rummaged around in the back pockets until he had retrieved the dangly set of keys in there.

“Here,” Ashton smiled and handed Calum his keys back. “Thanks for letting me borrow the Jeep.”

Calum let the keys disappear into his own pocket, “Of course. You can have the car any time you need. You know, we could even get you your own if you want.”

“Calum,” Ashton warned him and Calum quickly raised his hands. “How did it go with your family?” he deflected, and Ashton almost smiled because Calum knew him so well.

“Good, really good. Mom seemed a lot calmer today and Lauren didn’t even cry when I left. They would have loved to come to the dinner but Mom has to work and Lauren has school tomorrow. She took it with composure, though.”

“It is good that they are well. Your sister is brave.”

“She’s a trooper,” Ashton smiled. “Also she wants to see you again, because Mom bought her new nail polish as a kind of ‘sorry that both your brothers are werewolves now, I swear your problems are valid to me too’ gift and she needs a model.”

“Ah, I can’t wait,” Calum grinned and wriggled his fingers, the nails still painted black. “My old manicure is seriously starting to chip.”

“You’re still the prettiest alpha out there,” Ashton reassured him and Calum shook his head, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “idiot” before he took a step closer to Ashton, right into his breathing space.

Calum took his hand, interlacing their fingers for just a moment before he let go again. When Ashton looked down, he found a golden band wrapped around his middle finger. Embedded into the metal were three miniscule gem stones, two milky and white like the moon encompassing one of a saturated amber colour, like burning wood, like the color of Calum’s eyes when the sun hit them just right.

“What is this?”

Calum’s eyes were bright when Ashton looked up at him. Calum shook his head again and pressed their lips together.

Then he covered the ring and Ashton’s hand with his own, “It’s nothing. Not what you think it is, at least. Well, not if you don’t want it to be, but. It’s a promise. Just a promise. Don’t think too much about it.”

Ashton shook his head lightly as he looked back down at the ring, glistening at him through Calum’s fingers. He felt himself frown, “I don’t have one for you.”

Calum smiled, pushed his left hand into his pocket and pulled it back out again, a flash of gold wrapped around his pinkie finger.

“Don’t worry. I already took care of that.”

Ashton snorted before he pulled Calum into a hug, so tight that he knew it couldn’t be comfortable for the other boy.

“I love you,” Ashton said as he let go.

“I love you,” Calum answered as he took a step back, eyes gleaming, and curled his fingers around the lapels of Ashton’s blazer before smoothing them out. “Let’s go eat dinner.”

*

Everyone had already taken their seats when Ashton followed Calum into the living room. Something about the scene made Ashton’s chest swell with happiness. There was the Lam pack, occupying one half of the table. The Lam betas were obviously discussing the food, one of them making sure Liling sat upright on her chair while Shun talked to Joy and Michael’s parents. Karen was unsubtly trying to retie her son’s bow tie and Luke watched them smugly while Mali and Tom had a conversation on their own at the end of the table. Once they had rounded the table, Ashton took the seat in between Harry next to Mali and Calum, who pulled back the chair at the centre of the table, but remained standing. Everyone’s conversations ceased as he cleared his throat, all eyes settling on him.

Calum made sure to smile at every single person gathered at the dinner table before he began to speak, “I wanted to express my gratitude to all of you for coming tonight. The last few months have been hard for my family and my pack. Foes appeared that none of us would have expected and tried to harm me and my family, this family.”

Ashton felt an echo in his chest, so strong it took his breath away for a moment.

“A lot of things have changed. We suffered through dire times and we experienced great acts of mercy,” Calum’s eyes landed first on his mother and then Michael before he let his gaze wander again. “In the end, we stand stronger than before and for that I am grateful. We prevailed and this I want to celebrate with every single one of you. And now, before I bore us all to death with my speech,” Calum smiled and raised his glass. “To family and friends.”

“To family and friends,” the room echoed and while Calum sat down, everyone begun to pass around the multitude of dishes.

“That was a really good speech,” Ashton murmured into Calum’s ear while Calum set down his champagne glass. “I think Michael’s Mom shed a tear.”

“Talk shit about my momma and I’ll cut you, Irwin,” Ashton could hear Michael whisper from his spot several seats away. When Ashton looked up at him, the purple-haired boy was threateningly swinging a chicken leg at him, but Ashton could see the corners of his mouth twitch.

Calum chuckled and laid his hand on Ashton’s thigh, “Don’t mind him.”

“Oh, trust me. I don’t,” Ashton winked at Michael before he helped himself to some potatoes and a piece of meatloaf.

“Oh my god, whoever did the meat loaf is my new god,” Ashton moaned around his fork once he had taken the first bite.

He was so occupied with the array of delicious food on his plate that Ashton needed a moment to notice Calum looking at him. Ashton cocked his head to the side questioningly, his mouth too stuffed to speak. Calum stared at him for a moment longer before he blinked and then hastily turned back towards his own plate. Ashton squinted at him, but a second later he got distracted by Harry’s futile attempts at cutting a chicken leg in half.

“No, buddy, you have to pull the meat off, like this, here, I’ll-”

The sound of the door bell was so sudden and unfamiliar to Ashton’s ears that he froze as it resonated throughout the house. Ashton didn’t think he had ever experienced someone announcing their presence like that in the house.

The shift in the atmosphere was instant. The Lam betas tensed as they looked towards their alpha. Shun herself was looking at Calum whose face remained calm, unimpressed. Calum was the only one who wasn’t oozing confusion, Ashton noticed. As soon as he paid special attention to it, Ashton noticed that he wasn’t receiving any kind of echo from Calum.   

Slowly, Calum rose to his feet. At the other side of the table, Ashton could see Michael’s parents exchange bemused looks.

“Ashy,” Harry at his side whispered, having sensed the change in atmosphere and dropped his tone down low. Ashton placed his hand calmingly on his brother’s chest while he watched Calum disappear into the hallway.

Ashton inhaled deeply, but came up empty. He could hear the person that was standing in front of the front door, could hear them shift, the clank of the glass against metal. Their smell was unfamiliar to Ashton, unlike anyone he had smelled before.

The sound of the front door creaking open was too loud in the tense silence that had ensued.

“Good evening,” Ashton heard a deep, male voice say. “Calum, is it?”

Ashton didn’t dare pry his eyes away from the door to the hallway, but Ashton could hear a set of cutlery drop onto porcelain. Ashton didn’t flinch, kept his focus on listening in to what was happening at the door.

“Good evening and it is. We didn’t expect you,” Calum’s voice gave back, not unfriendly.

“I apologise for that. If it’s not an inconvenience, may I come in?”

Calum didn’t answer verbally, but Ashton could hear the front door being opened further and then two pairs of footsteps sounded down the hallway as the door fell close again.

Calum was the first to enter the living room. Completely at ease, he slendered back to his seat and took it. Upon Calum’s unbothered demeanor, the tension in the room dissolved and gave way to an air of curiosity.

The first thing Ashton noticed that the man was human. Not just human like Mali was, but human like Michael’s parents were. The man was someone who knew, but didn’t actively immerse himself into the world of the supernatural. He was tall, sturdy and at least at the end of his forties, if not already in his fifties. The man was dressed for the occasion, his grey suit plain but unmistakably expensive.

His expression was friendly, if not a little bit nervous, as he surveyed the room. And then his gaze settled to Ashton’s right and Ashton knew. A single glimpse to the right assured Ashton that Luke had left his seat, was standing with his back to the table now. His posture was rigid, fists clenched at his sides.

“Hey, Luke,” the man spoke, his voice shaking just the slightest and Ashton had seen the expression on the man’s face before. Below the expensive suit, the upright posture and weathered skin, the man was broken. But right now the part of him that had been torn out was swinging freely over the hole it had left, freed on the slim chance of being mended. “I was told that your alpha would host a dinner party tonight and I figured I didn’t want my son to be the only one without family, so…”

With white knuckles, the man lifted the bottle in his hand. “I brought wine?”

Ashton held his breath, could feel the entire room collectively do the same.

A quiver went through Luke’s body. Ashton could hear Luke’s heart pound, so hard that it almost made Ashton nauseous. And then...

“Dad!”

Luke was across the room within a heartbeat. Ashton watched Mr Hemmings catch his son with open arms.

“Dad,” Luke repeated, sobbed, grinned and Ashton felt all the air rush out of his lungs. He hugged Harry, who had instinctively climbed into his lap, and swayed them from side to side as they watched Luke and his father cling to each other.

“God, you’ve gotten big, Lewi,” Mr Hemmings rushed out as he rested his chin on Luke’s heaving shoulders. “I missed you.”

“Dad,” Luke’s voice sounded muffled from the fabric of his father’s dress jacket. “You’re here.”

“I’m gonna get another place setting.” Ashton turned his head towards Karen. ”Budge over, Daryl, Luke’s father can sit with us.”

Michael’s mother stood up and effectively shook everyone out of their stupor. The Lam pack dug back into their meals and Mali continued the story she was telling Tom and the twins. Joy offered Shun the bowl of cauliflower and Calum speared another piece of loaf onto his fork before letting it drop onto his plate. Ashton wholeheartedly empathised with the pleased smile on his face.

He was about to dig back into his own meal when his attention was caught by Michael at Calum’s side, sitting sideways on his chair so he could watch Luke and his father. Michael’s eyes were filled with an emotion that was so bittersweet Ashton could taste metal on his tongue. Michael was motionless, only his lips moved as he spoke silent words, words Michael had traded so often with Luke that Ashton recognised them by their shape alone.

Next Michael’s hand moved from where it had rested on his stomach, on the scar that was now hidden by his dress shirt, up to his heart. Something that Ashton could only describe as devotion ousted the anguish from Michael’s eyes and suddenly Ashton knew that it wasn’t Luke who had sent an invitation to the Hemmings mansion.

Ashton turned his head and watched as Luke lead his father to the table with tear-stained cheeks. Luke was almost vibrating with happiness and joy  and Ashton involuntarily smiled. He settled Harry back on his own chair and pressed a kiss to his brother’s head before he picked his cutlery back up and dug back into his meal.

*

Ashton let himself fall down on one of the kitchen stools with a sigh. After the dinner had ended and even the last dish had been cleared, the Lam pack had said their goodbyes fairly quickly, shortly followed by Michael’s parents as well as Luke’s dad, who had left only after promising to get back into contact with Luke soon.

Once all the guests had been gone, everyone else had abandoned the remnants of their feast in favour of falling into a food-induced coma and Ashton had took it upon himself to clean up the worst of the mess in the kitchen. He had thrown everything decayable in the trash, had stacked all the dirty dishes into the basin and stowed away all the leftovers in the fridge.

Focussing on the sounds upstairs assured Ashton that the rest of his pack had long crawled into bed. A short glimpse at the clock above the fridge told him it was already far after midnight. Despite the lateness of the hours, Ashton still felt energetic. All the high and low emotions of the night had left him buzzing. But Ashton knew that wasn’t the only reason.

With another sigh, Ashton jumped off the stool and made his way towards the kitchen door. The night’s air was cool as he stepped outside, but Ashton didn’t freeze. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt cold.

The grass was damp beneath his feet as Ashton walked across the plain grass that surrounded the house. He sauntered into the woods, shed his clothes along the way. Ashton would pick them up later when he would come back.

The clearing looked exactly like Ashton remembered it, the familiar set of boulders in the middle of it making Ashton think of a night that seemed ages ago to him. Ashton stepped out of the woods and onto the clearing, his eyes automatically adjusting to the change of lighting.

There was a boy, perched on the edge of the biggest rock, his legs dangling in the air. He was naked, save for a pair of boxer briefs. Next to him, Ashton could spot a neatly folded pile of dress pants, leather shoes and a blazer with golden lapels.

Vast expanses of bronze skin moved as the boy repositioned himself and the sight made Ashton shiver. Someone who didn’t know about the secret that the boy harboured beneath his skin might have wondered how he could ever have been comfortable when the weather was nowhere near any temperature that could have justified walking around half-naked. But Ashton did. He knew why the boy’s face was turned towards the moon, as if they were in Florida and he was just casually sunbathing.

Just when Ashton was about to take a step forward, the boy suddenly began to move. A gust of wind ruffled his jet black hair and then the muscles of his arms were tensing and the boy was pushing himself off the boulder, falling nearly three metres before he landed on the ground. Ashton grinned as he watched the boy pull himself to his feet and then halt for a moment before he turned his head and his eyes settled on Ashton. The boy walked straight towards him where Ashton was standing in the middle of the clearing now and walked right into his space, his hands coming up to encompass Ashton’s face as he pressed his lips to Ashton’s shortly in greeting.

“Mind if I join you?” Ashton asked as the boy pulled away and Calum smiled.

“No, of course not.”

Calum took his hand, lifted it to his mouth and lightly bit the knuckle of Ashton’s middle finger where the gold band was gleaming in the moonlight before he took a step back.

“I’m not sure why we even bother patrolling,” Ashton said as he took a step to the side. “It’s not like anyone who wants to harm us is left.”

“It’s our territory,” Calum explained, his voice calm and collected and laced with love, love for Ashton. “We roam our land and make sure everyone knows who it belongs to.”

Ashton nodded, showing that he had understood and Calum smiled at him before he turned around, took a running start and jumped. Patches of grass flew into the air as the black wolf landed on his paws.

Ashton grinned before he, too, took a run-up and shifted in midair. He shook his limbs out once he had landed on his paws and there was a transcendent feeling to it, feeling the air jostle his fur, breathe the earth and feel how it yielded under his paws. Every of Ashton's cells was thrumming with energy, begging to be released and Ashton couldn't help the happy yip that escaped his throat. 

A second later, Ashton felt a light pressure against the back of his head. Despite not needing to, Calum always had the decency to ask before he entered Ashton’s mind.

 _It’s a beautiful night_ , Ashton said and traipsed the few steps until he was next to Calum.

Calum tilted his head towards him, his golden eyes flashing in the night, _Not nearly as beautiful as you._

Ashton barked but the black wolf was taking off before Ashton could retaliate, leaving Ashton with an echo that was so pleased that Ashton would have rolled his eyes if he could have. Instead, he let the muscles of his legs contract, and quickly gained speed. Feeling the moon sing to him, and Calum’s heartbeat resonate within his chest, Ashton ran.


	40. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where it ends, the road we took together...
> 
> And boy it was one hell of a ride. Never ever in my nineteen years of existence would I have thought it to be possible that I would ever pull off a fic this long or elaborate or complex and yet here we are. I enjoyed writing every second this piece of work and it will forever be one I will look back at with pride. This fic was a group effort, however, so I have to thank some people (and also offer them my soul, but most of them already own a piece of that.) 
> 
> For James, who told me to just go for it and never failed to cheer me on, or yell at me with headcanons. 
> 
> For Andie, my ethereal, brilliant, unmatched partner in crime. Thank you for singing me to sleep when I needed it and being hellish with me, always. 
> 
> To _cashton's residency_ , for sating my Cashton needs (and all the others, too.) I love you guys. 
> 
> To the awesome, unbelievable people that did fanarts/edits for this fic (links in the notes at the beginning!!). That you used your talents to visualise what I saw in my head while writing still leaves me speechless and I love every single one of you. 
> 
> To the people that pushed the [tumblr edit](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/post/130234517166/you-are-the-moon-that-breaks-the-night-by) of this fic to over 2,5k notes and spread the word farther than I ever could have imagined. Y'all are amazing. 
> 
> And lastly, of course, to you, you who just willingly wasted their time reading this. You, who has made it this far. Welcome to the pack. You definitely earned your spot.

_epilogue_

_noun, no plural_

_1\. a final section or speech after the main part of a book, play, or musical composition_

 

Ashton woke up to an empty bed. A bleary-eyed glimpse at the alarm clock on his bedside table told him that it was shortly after six in the morning. With a groan, Ashton buried his face back in his pillows and savoured the warmth and familiar smell of his sheets just that little bit longer before he rolled himself out of bed.

It was still dark outside, the sun not destined to rise for another hour or so. Ashton folded his hands above his head and popped his spine with a groan. His back was prickling where Calum had scratched the skin red last night and it had renewed while he had slept. After Ashton had stretched limbs into functionality, he sauntered over to the wardrobe and pulled out the first pair of basketball shorts he could find. The house still lay in silence as Ashton made his way past the bedrooms and down the stairs. He forewent the kitchen in favour of crossing the living room and pushing open the door to the study.

Calum looked up upon his entrance, a soft smile making the corners of his mouth tilt upwards. Ashton reciprocated his smile and closed the door behind him before he walked to where Calum was sitting hunched over the small mountain of papers on his desk. Low, classical music came from the sound system on the window sill, Calum’s ‘adulting music’ as he liked to call it. Ashton hooked his chin over Calum’s shoulder from behind, slinging his arms around Calum’s torso.

“It’s way too early to be working,” Ashton murmured, nosing along Calum’s jaw.

Calum’s eyes fluttered close and he relaxed with a silent sigh, dropping the pen in his hand in favour of holding onto Ashton’s arms around him. “I already ditched this yesterday night.”

“True.” Ashton grinned. “You did.”

“You don’t have to be so smug about it,” Calum complained, but Ashton could feel the muscles of his cheek pressing against his own as Calum grinned. “It’s not a good look, that my beta has me so whipped.”

“Some would argue,” Ashton rubbed his cheek against Calum's, “that that makes you an exceptionally good alpha. Especially because I am the love of your life, your mate and all that.”

Calum hummed and interlaced his fingers with Ashton’s, pulling their hands forward so they could both look at the golden bands around their fingers, lined up perfectly now that their hands were intertwined. For a moment, Ashton got lost in the shimmer of the middle gem on his ring, a saturated orange colour in the low light. It reminded Ashton of the orange moon that had shone when he had wandered into the woods all those years ago.

“Did you see Mikey on your way downstairs?”

“No,” Ashton pressed a quick kiss to Calum’s cheek before he let him go and instead let himself fall down in the bulky leather chair in front of Calum’s desk. “Why?”

“I found him in the kitchen at four a.m. sulking over a bowl of Fruit Loops. I told him to go to bed, but he just poured more milk into his bowl and stared me down while chewing.”

Ashton couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped him. He glimpsed at the watch around his wrist, a christmas present from his mother. “Well, Luke’s coming back from his camping trip with his brothers around noon, which is in a little over seven hours, so Michael should be a lot less grumpy then.”

Calum sighed, “So close, but so far away. At least he has given up planning to emigrate every time the Hemmings take Luke away for more than a week.”

“Yeah, he probably would have roped you,” Ashton pointed an accusatory finger at the other man, “into it and then we would have all had to move to Canada.”

“I don’t know,” Calum hummed, playing Ashton’s game with him. He looked back down at the papers in front of him. “Canada is supposed to be nice in the summer.”

“Oh yes,” Ashton poked out his tongue. “Perfect temperatures for a werewolf. Luke and Michael could play hockey on the ice.”

“It would be nice with you,” Calum said, so nonchalantly that Ashton felt his breath hitch, and took his pen to cross something out on one of the papers. Calum always blindsided Ashton like that, showering him with affection so casually that Ashton often times only realised it a couple of moments after.

“You’re too much.”

Calum smiled and looked up at him. Ashton’s heart still clenched in the best way possible whenever Calum laid his eyes on him. A glint of mischief flashed in Calum’s eyes.

“Some would argue,” he said, “that that makes me an exceptionally good alpha. Especially because you are the love of my life, my mate and all that.”

Ashton pulled himself to his feet off before he could choke on his own heart seizing so hard with fond, "Alright, I'm gonna go have breakfast."

He felt Calum’s echo of smug satisfaction unfold in his chest as he made his way to the door. As soon as Ashton had wrapped his hand around the handle, he paused for a moment. Ashton could still remember it, the first time he had set foot in the study and his eyes had landed on the family photo that hung on the wall next to it. There were more photos now, memories of their pack encompassing the old family photo. There was Mali and Tom’s wedding, graduations and group shots of the past nine winter solstices. The first picture of Marama and right next to it a photo Luke had taken that one time they had been bored and had raided the attic to dress up as ridiculous as possible. Ashton grinned at the sight of Calum in a backwards white baseball cap, purple Gucci sunglasses and a shiny, golden vest. Ashton’s favourite was a collage of polaroids that showed moments of their everyday life; Luke and Michael arguing, Harry when he still had been small enough to fit onto Ashton’s lap while they were reading a book, Calum and Luke wrestling outside after a patrol while the sun rose in the background and lastly a picture of all of them sprawled out on the sofas in the living room, napping.

“We’ll have to clear another wall, soon,” Calum commented from where he had watched Ashton.

Ashton turned his head so he could look at the other man and grinned, “Yeah, we do. We just have to find a picture that is as worthy as chubby-cheeked kid you to hang in the center.”

Drowning out Calum’s growl with a giggle of his own, Ashton pushed the door open and walked back into the living room. He could hear the familiar clinking sound of plates being moved as he made his way into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Harry greeted him as soon as Ashton had stepped over the threshold. Much to Ashton’s surprise, Harry was dressed in his school uniform already, his shower-wet hair hanging into his eyes.

Disbelieving, Ashton took a glimpse at his watch, “You are up? Before eight a.m.? Since when do I not have to drag you out of bed for school?”

“I got up an hour early,” Harry beamed at him.

Ashton felt his eyebrows rise to unknown heights when Harry placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of him. Ashton could smell the two spoons of sugar and one splash of milk in it, just the way he liked it.

Squinting at his younger brother, he took the mug and sat down on one of the kitchen stools, “Okay.”

“Yes, see, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Talk to me?”

Harry nodded, “I wanted to talk to you about my birthday.”

“Aha,” Ashton couldn’t help the smile that spread over his lips as he took a sip of the coffee. Now that he knew what was up, he felt free to enjoy his bribe. “Well, buddy, I can save you the time right away. You’re not getting a car.”

“But,” Harry whined. "It’s my sixteenth birthday! And all of my friends are going to get a car.”

“If all your friends would jump off of a bridge, would you-”

Harry snarled at him, his eyes flashing yellow, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

Ashton frowned and set his coffee cup down, tilting his chin slightly upwards. Immediately, Harry loosened his stance, bared his throat for a second before he crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was obviously pouting and Ashton sighed.

“Harry, you don’t need a car.”

“Yes, I do. And it's your fault too, you know. For sending me to a private school where all my friends are loaded.”

Ashton sighed, “You know if it bothers you so much, you can go to the study right now and ask Calum whether you can work in the distillery. Then you have your own money and can buy yourself a car _like every other teenager._ ”

Ashton expected Harry to complain even more, but instead the fifteen year-old perked up, “You mean he would do that.”

“I- yeah, of course.”

“Okay, cool!”

“Remember that we’re on for dinner with Mom tonight!” Ashton called after his little brother when Harry was already halfway out the door. Harry turned back around slowly, blinked.

“Right,” he drew out. “We’re meeting Lauren’s new boyfriend tonight.”

Ashton squinted suspiciously at his little brother, “We are.”

“If he sucks I’ma rip out his throat,” Harry grinned, flashing his fangs.  

“Hey! No fangs before noon!” a yawning Mali reprimanded Harry as she entered the kitchen.

“Exactly, Harry,” Ashton smiled. “Listen to the pregnant lady and rein it in.”

Harry let out a dramatic sigh before he made his exit for good, “Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go talk to Cali.”

“Teenagers,” Mali commented once Harry had disappeared. “Can’t wait until Mar hits that age.”

Ashton smiled and slid of the kitchen stool, took his cup with him as he made a beeline for the backdoor, “Don’t stress too much. He still has a couple of years left.”

“Yeah, well,” Mali sighed. "He already shifted early, so what else can happen, right?”

“Marama’s got a house full of werewolves and the best mother any child could ask for,” Ashton gracefully ducked the dish towel Mali threw at him. “He’ll be alright.”

“You’re too much.”

“I got that from your brother,” Ashton grinned and pulled the back door shut behind him, cutting off Mali’s indignant shout of “Hey, who ate all the Fruit Loops?!”

The morning dew crunched beneath Ashton’s bare feet as he made his way across the grass and sat himself down in one of the few chairs that were splattered all over the lawn. Once he had made himself comfortable, Ashton pulled his knees to his chest and took another sip of coffee.

It was just when Ashton had begun to hum along to the chart bop that was playing in his head, that he heard footsteps near, felt a familiar presence nearing. Ashton took another sip of his coffee before he set his mug down on the arm rest of his chair.

“Hey, Mar,” Ashton smiled at the little boy that was hovering on his heels next to his chair now. “Does your mother know you’re out here?”

The boy nodded, calmly, and Ashton couldn’t help but marvel at how much he looked like his uncle doing so with his thick, black curls and crooked smile. Marama bounced on his heels slightly, placing a hand on his tummy. 

“I’m feeling all prickly in my belly today,” Marama said. “So Mama said I should go into the woods for a little bit before school, then I can concentrate better if Mrs Applebaum wants me to read my homework out loud.”

Ashton smiled, “That’s a good idea. See if you can find Uncle Michael in there, yes? Tell him to come in for breakfast.”

Marama nodded dutifully, “Will do. See you later, Uncle Ashton.”

“Have a good shift, Mar.”

His nephew smiled at him and then bound off into the direction of the woods. Shortly before the first line of trees, Marama fell into a sprint and then jumped, shifting midair. The small, black she-wolf landed on its paws smoothly. Ashton watched Marama’s lithe body disappear into the woods. Then he let his head fall back against the hard wood of the chair’s back rest and looked at the sky. Taking another sip of coffee, Ashton watched the sun rise above the tops of the trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank your for all the amazing feedback! It still baffles me when just one person thinks to write a comment or leave kudos and that so many of you did and continue to do means the world to me. 
> 
> If you are (much like me, whoops) still in denial that the moon fic has now found an end, you should definitely check out the amazing **[8tracks playlist](http://8tracks.com/capncatherine/you-are-the-moon)** that the ethereal [Cat](cliffordevil.tumblr.com/) made, if you like!
> 
> If you want to reach out to me on another platform, my [tumblr](http://mikeykink.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/mikeykink) are both mikeykink. 
> 
> All the love to the moon and back, Carly xx


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